I fucked up Yea Forums

it won't happen again that's for damn sure.
i never felt such shame and sense of guilt in my life.

Yeah you fucked up. At least you know you're a shitty person.
If you care about your boyfriend at all you'll tell him.
Let him decide if he wants to be with a cheating fuck or not.

I never be the same after this and that's a fact, but after what i did i just see him as the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me and i feel like i don't deserve such a nice guy, this just makes me feel like shit and make me realize that im so lucky that my boyfriend its such a magnificent human being

I'm fully aware that if i tell him what i did he its not only gonna be upset, but it will break his heart and i really dont want to hurt him any more, i already make enough damage to him by cheating on him, and he is the best boyfriend i ever had i really dont want to lose him for being a drunken whore because i know for a fact ill never find anyone as wonderful as he is

You already did enough by cheating on him. You should own up to it instead of creating a precedent of keeping secrets. If you really love him as much as you say, then either you shouldn't have cheated on him with some dude you only knew for five minutes, or you should come clean and be honest with him, because to me it sounds more like you love being loved, not him.

I know i already did enough damage to our relationship by cheating on him, and you are somehow right i like being loved, but that doesn't mean i dont do anything i can to make up for who much he has done to me and love him the same way he loves me, the fact i like being loved dosent mean i dont love him back

come on, you are in different area codes, its not cheating, its just some physical relief. Just keep it under your hat, it's surprisingly easy to live with this shit.

Let's not make up excuses, I cheated on him, you can call it whatever you want but sucking another dick that wasn't my boyfriends cock it's just plain wrong.
Keep it to myself may be the best thing to do, let some time go by then be honest with him and tell him at the right moment will be the best i can do to cover up the fact i'm a cheating whore.

don´t say any shit just keep the secret

There are two ways to solve it. Either you tell him right away or your gilt will fuck with you in the future, because as you said you are already triying to make up for something your boyfriend doesnt know about so he will find out eventually by noticing that you are behaving diverently towards hin. Or you try to make a triangular relationship out of this where evereybody benefits from your fuck up but this depends on how open you and your boyfriend are willing to make your relationship without risking to harm anybody involved.