How fucked am I Yea Forums?

How fucked am I Yea Forums?

Smoked a couple puffs off a joint with my friend and a puff off an electric weed mod about almost 4 months ago. Before that, months ago, same amount.

I have a saliva/hair/piss test tomorrow. Thinking of shaving everything short including body hair and I know saliva won't show up. My main concern is the piss test. I could buy a dollar general weed test, but I dont know how accurate they are, plus I've lost 60 pounds in the last 6 months. (Still overweight/borderline obese)

Pic unrelated

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Man, how the fuck would we know? Don't stress out and just fucking deal with the consequences of your actions, chances are they won't detect anything. Chill.

start applying to places now user...

*weeks* not months. Im freaking out quite a bit since I don't normally smoke. Told my friend no, but he was all "what's the worse that could happen?" Since I havent seen him in almost a year I figured why not. God I hate California.

shave everything

In terms of the piss test, you'll be fine. If you haven't smoked in months you will NOT have a problem, if you are a non-heavy smoker. If you are a heavy smoker, it could still be fine, but like usual regardless its a good idea to drink a lot of fluids to detox as much as possible before the test. As for the saliva and hair test, I have no idea on that subject.

Four months? Don't worry, dude. You're good. Cut your hair, don't shave it.

>california
You deserve whats coming to you then, but i still doubt those commies will do anything

Won't they be curious why I'm shaved head to toe? Also my boss hand delivered me the forms, so he'll know I have a full on beard before the test.

>California
There's your mistake

>Won't they be curious why I'm shaved head to toe?

Tell them you like to post your butt on Yea Forums, they'll understand.

How many weeks ago did you smoke? That light of an amount is not a huge deal, and just focus on drinking a lot and flushing your system out. relax, because if you are gonna fail the test its destiny at this point and there isnt much you can really do about it unless you try to fake your piss.

Also, if worst comes to worst you can come clean to your boss if it comes up bad and tell him that it was a one time thing. Its worth a shot, after all.

>come clean to your boss if it comes up bad and tell him that it was a one time thing

lol, you obviously work at fucking mcdonalds or something. get the fuck out of this thread, kid

Cant you just get a friend to give you their piss and spit?

you'll be fine, they might find trace amounts but you can probably say your friend celebrated something and you inhaled some smoke since you were in the same room

see real life isn't like the movies retard. time for you to get off the computer for a bit, have mommy make you some tendies or something.

A little over 3 weeks ago.

Kek, thanks for that comic relief.

I was going to mention that too if second hand smoke is a thing with weed.

That's a pretty decent amount of time for a piss test, so long as you have been drinking a lot and stuff I think you'll be fine.

I've been walking and drinking a ton of water every day. I guess it might be good I've been working on my weight. 290 down to 230

>I have a saliva
you can be clear for those in 2-3 days
>piss
3 days~2 or 3 weeks depending on how much/regularly you smoked and how fat you are. as a one off thing you were probably clean in a couple of days.
>hair test tomorrow
no-one actually does hair tests except strict high level govt and military departments. shit's expensive and time consuming for them to do so the chances of them actually doing a hair test is near 0. that being said, you can still test positive on those for 3 months.

4 months ago? you're fucking fine dude. do you also sip 1 beer and worry that you'll get done for a DUI 3 weeks later?

Here's your solution
>Walk into work
>do their drug test
>If they say you're clean, then nothing to worry about. Go about your business.
>If they say that pot came up, then just look them directly in the eyes and say "yes." and nothing else
>By asserting your dominance, they wither respect you more or they get confused and forget about the test

or you know, drink way more water. Just get it out of your system a bit faster.

Really only need to worry about the hair test, wasn’t enough to stay in your fat system if it was only a couple of puffs.

Could pull a Brittany Spears and shave everything, other than that it’ll be luck what they find.