Suppose that you want to seriously hurt yourself without dying and make it look like an accident to get away from some...

Suppose that you want to seriously hurt yourself without dying and make it look like an accident to get away from some recent fuck ups, what would you do?

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How hurt would you need to be, like in a hospital or just slightly cut

Enough to be completely unavailable for a week or two at least (it's even better if I get hospitalized)

Shameless self bump

Alright, it will hurt like a motherfucker but get some boiling water and splash it on your legs then call an ambulance

Is my dick at risk here?

just act like you want to kill yourself and go to the psych ward. freak the fuck out til they admit you for 30 days
no need to even hurt yourself

KYS

Just splash it on your knees down, your dick should be fine

dont do this. you'll get 2nd/3rd degree burns and its not worth 2 weeks