I mean it sounds like you're talking more about the names of those things, and not the things. If we're on a lit board talking about so-called suicidal thoughts, the term might include softcore/curious ones that aren't actually dangerous. But if a doctor asks me if I'm having suicidal thoughts, he's probably asking for the risky ones.
>Found a female
Well, at least you see it as your own ball to drop. Best of luck my Ferengi comrade.
I dunno about any of that, I know I could never do the deed itself fuck I could never even intentionally scratch myself but I find myself thinking about it pretty much all the time so I don't know if that's dangerous or not
You out too much pressure on trying to win over people when you socialize face-to-face. That or you feel a tendency for perfection, and that any slip up in conversation immediately lowers your perceived intelligence/status. My advice is to genuinely listen in the conversation, focus on what the person is saying, not what they might be thinking of you. Chances are, they care more about what they want to say then what you see immediately doing, and only form an opinion of the interaction after it’s ended. Anyways, just go with the flow. Don’t try so hard
Consider asking a doctor then? I'm still not sure what this has to do with the OP but if you just want a frame of reference, I brought up suicide to someone in person yesterday, and I would say I do so slightly less than once a week. I consider myself someone who hears about it more than talks about it.
my eyebrows look like this - I'm 27 and doctors could never tell me why. It's only because I'm drunk and googled shit like red eyebrows that I discovered this shit.
Either way, I've spent my entire life dealing with "do you shave your eyebrows" and "where are your eyebrows" questions. I used to think that it stopped bothering me in secondary school when I learnt to deal with it but I think the truth is this shit has an impact on my every single interaction every single day because I can't get past the though that all they're thinking about is my eyebrows.
Interesting question. I'd say relates to the relatively unidimensional, fixed, intrapersonal nature of writing, as opposed to the dynamic, multidimensional, interpersonal nature of speech.
In speech you can draw on tone, pitch, intensity and timbre of voice, quickness and variations in clarity of elocution, facial expressions, body movements and posture, hand and arm gestures, plus shared personal history with the speaker, shared environment (the place you're talking in), a common situation, heck even smells, all that to convey your point accross. You can rephrase something you've badly phrased, you can ask and answer to questions, and you can adapt all those elements on the fly depending on the reaction of your audience.
All that is very fine-tuned and yet mostly subconscious, because as social animals we've spent the better part of the last million years talking to one another and it has become ingrained in us to the point we don't notice most of what's happening in a conversation, even though all of it affects us. Add how essential communication has been to the survival of our species, and how much of our life we spent talking (sometimes several hours a day) and you see why we're so good at it.
Heck we're so good at communication we don't even need words in some cases. Friends and lovers understand each other with a glare, with a smile, sometimes less. I had two friends in hs who often played basketball together, they once told me if one of them threw the ball behind him, without even looking, he'd know the other would catch it. They had enough shared history to understand each other (to some extent) without words and at a distance. And that kind of stuff is ubiquitous in daily life.
Words are almost overkill at this point.
Now compare that to writing. You pretty much only have the words, with their natural ambiguity, their context-dependence, their evolving meaning, their relating to a world and an intent that might be unclear or unappropriately grasped by both reader and writer. You have to use them to convey something to someone you don't know, who will perhaps not be born in your lifetime, who might not share a language or a continent with you, who cannot give you feedback. Thus you have to establilsh a standard of conversation, with a unknown, at times unknownable interlocutor, accross unpredictable distances and differences, and with only one (the latest, the most disembodied, perhaps the flimsiest) of the means of conversation. That's akin to trying to complete a triathlon with two hands tied behind your back and blindfolded.
No wonder it's a skill. Even conversation is a skill. Even speaking in more 'general' conditions (in public instead of private for instance) is a skill. The more general the conditions, the less tied to a narrow situation you can immediately grasp, the more skill required to maintain a proper level of attention, engagement and understanding. In writing you face the most general condition of all.
>plus shared personal history with the speaker, shared environment
>context being more easily used and deeply understood
Good points.
I’m terrible at speaking (I grew up in a low-income environment and developed the dialect you commonly hear in blacks), but I’m a fairly good writer. Another factor that may contribute to my poor ability to articulate myself verbally is my debilitating social anxiety, which causes me to shake around strangers and act as if I’m autistic (I think I’m on the spectrum, but it hasn’t been severe enough to warrant a psychologist to diagnosis me as such), and it’s why I routinely stay home and spend my time reading rather than attempting to improve my verbal prowess.
>ferengi
I never watched star trek, so I don't know what you mean. I just overthink when I'm alone and don't want to look too clingy, so I do that delayed response thing.
my girlfriend is the same. i love her, but she is the worst math tutor i have ever seen.