How should I talk to a Chad interrogator, Yea Forums?

Ask for free donuts and coffee.

Make no other statements without a lawyer.

unironically based

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Well duh if the lawyer is dumb then it won't work

>She was delivered to me and I am a disciple of the Lord
>Press (X) to doubt

Eat a large pizza that’s the same price as a small

simply say "if i was pressed to answer" before you answer any question

>"I know all dat bullshit you talking about, save your breath. You got nothing on me, I know it, you know it. I'm changin' dollars bills thas all.
>You wanna waist my time, OK, I call my lawyer. He;s the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a goog lawyer, that by tomorrow morning you'll be working in Alaska.
>So dress warm!"

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You don't. Ask for your lawyer if you say anything. If you're not under arrest just leave

Say nothing and just smirk

>AM I BEING DETAINED
>AM I FREE TO GO

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>"I want my lawyer"
>"This isn't a movie pal, that's not how things work around here"
>It is in fact a movie

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You don't. Anything you say can be used against you and you're NOT outsmarting a career interrogator who does that shit for a living. Ask for a lawyer.

The episode where the white trash dad stabs his ex wife in up state New York and goes on this pathetic rant about being a real man etc. is so fucking insane.

This, for the love of god.
Little known fact: When they say, "Anything you say can be used against you", this also means that, "Nothing you say can help you".

Read: It is admissible evidence for a police officer to testify (possibly incorrectly) AGAINST YOU based on statements you make, but anything that would HELP YOU is "hearsay" and inadmissible.
Combine that with the fact that they're legally allowed to lie, and the system is beyond fucked.

>mfw interrogator actually knows more about religion than the self-proclaimed messiah

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Act tough, then write a letter to the kids of the guy who died despite having no involvement with the murder.

Keep in mind you're being recorded the moment you step into that room. Adjust your body language and tone accordingly.

>"Kid, you better think..."

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youtube.com/watch?v=R69ZMvIqvGo

This one is crazy. Nurse that killed a bunch of old people by fucking with their medication.

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>STEVEN WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BIG YOUR DICK IS
>THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE STEVEN

Body?

sovereign citizen videos are more entertaining than police interrogation. Prove me wrong.

>STEVEN YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU WEAR THE SAME PAIR OF UNDERWEAR TWICE IN A ROW?
>I don't know
>Stephen...

the virgin I don't know vs. the chad interrogator

*defies the laws of gravity*

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Sounds good

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There are no Chads in that picture, op. That's an incel and an average guy.

The man was a legend you cuck

How does that dude on the right look so fucking skinny and fat at the same time?

This. I watched an interrogation of some guy accused of dealing, one of the first things he said was 'I want an attorney' and even though he ended up blabbing about almost everything it was inadmissible, because they hadn't followed his request

>leans back

>it's not a movie
>it is in fact a video game

>and you're the interrogator!

The ps4 remaster of Rockstar's seminal hit, L.A. Noir (tm), available in stores now!

God bless the south

Retard

what does he do if he falls off the chair? do they just get a new interviewer?

completely deflect from the questions and start rambling about the jews until he leaves

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>"the chad lean"

Don't do that. There's been legal precedent of police taking suspect's DNA samples off of discarded food packaging. Not to mention getting your fingerprints over the coffee mug.
Don't give them anything. Just sit still, stare at the wall blankly and wait for the attorney to arrive.

>cops knock on my door
>debate whether or not I want to open the door and mock them or just leave it shut and make them feel impotent
>I decide to leave it shut
>they're yelling that they have a warrant and stuff
>surprisingly to no one, they don't break down the door even though they supposedly had a warrant and just walk away like faggots
>I decide to show myself in a window and smirk at them
>of course, this gives them renewed energy to bang on my door some more, but I give them no more reactions and they eventually leave

they're so predictable and pathetically easy to give the run-around to. I watched an interrogation video where they got outsmarted by a braindead methhead. He kept tricking them into giving him coca-colas so he would talk but then he never would say anything.

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You got a link to that video?

the good cops literally tell you that you can tell them to buzz off, that way in court you cant try to suppress statements made unless they arrest you right after you make a confession or whatever, or they use strong arm or deceiving tactics.
gf is a lawyer and i hear things

youtu.be/3JbjrGT84xk?t=1471

24 and a half minutes, the guy in the blue hospital gown, after the dumb chad in the harley shirt.

Wait. What happens if you ask for a lawyer but you havent already paid for one? Do they just give you some public defender?