Well Yea Forums, how do you crack an egg on the counter without getting goop everywhere...

On the brim of the pan or bowl you put them into.

crack em w ur peen like eric cantona

this

Only civilized answer

Shouldn't this be obvious?
I can't imagine anyone doing it differently.

Crack them over your forehead to establish dominance over the egg

Shitting yourself is just a minor side effect

Crack them with a knife for minimal spillage

Use a bowl and don't hit too hard dumbass

just bite the top off m8

>not eating the entire egg with the shell for the additional proteins
You're never gonna make it