Well Yea Forums, how do you crack an egg on the counter without getting goop everywhere...

On the brim of the pan or bowl you put them into.

crack em w ur peen like eric cantona

this

Only civilized answer

Shouldn't this be obvious?
I can't imagine anyone doing it differently.

Crack them over your forehead to establish dominance over the egg

Shitting yourself is just a minor side effect

Crack them with a knife for minimal spillage

Use a bowl and don't hit too hard dumbass

just bite the top off m8

>not eating the entire egg with the shell for the additional proteins
You're never gonna make it

You hit the egg with your eggs it'll open a hole try to jam it in it won't fit but still try it this is very important for the egg's feelings now cum in the hole voilà now you just have to use the eggs on your favourite recipe and serve it to the sommeliers

you need to go on the wing and make a through pass to the ngubu after he cuts inside

I can't believe people don't know this lmao

Don't crack them so hard or crack on the side of the pan fuck now I need an egg.

Can't believe you don't use flat surface. Just a little crack with the "flat" side and it opens cleanly.
Side of a pan etc works, but there's more risk of getting pieces in there