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Jacob Martin
Liam Hughes
it's a holy temple and public church
Levi Price
Juan White
raejuusto
Wyatt Nelson
gas yourself
Ethan Martin
What if there were 100 hockey teams?
If that title reminds you of anything, that’s because I did the same thing for the NBA last summer when I was still young and virile. Now, as I've graduated high school and entered the twilight of my life, I find myself drawn to the concept again, like a retired sailor to the entrancing and unforgiving sea -- but this time not just for any sport I happen to watch, but for my all-time favorite sport, ultimate frisbee. Wait, no, hockey.
“Now Jake,” you might be wondering, nonplussed that you somehow know my first name, “Why? Why any of this? Don’t you have anything better to do? Aren’t there a wide variety of issues arising out of an NHL suddenly in triplicate?”
To answer the former, no.
The latter, though, requires a bit of a longer explanation, and I actually have a variety of reasons I think you’ll find more than convincing.
1. 100 NHL teams means more hockey to watch, I think we can all agree that would be cool and good.
2. Hockey fans are incredibly insecure about their sport, and adding 100 teams would really make headway towards dunking on people who never really had that strong of an opinion on hockey and just want to have a quiet and friendly dinner for once in their godforsaken lives, would you please quiet down for half an hour?
3. 100 NHL teams means 69 new teams
4. I didn’t want to repeat points from the NBA post but, again, this is the only realistic way San Diego could get an NHL team
5. The talent pool would be so diluted that a ton of people who really want to play in the NHL could do it, and I want as many people to be happy as possible in this and everything else
6. My buddy Thomas would be so hyped dude let me tell you
7. Hockey isn't exactly an unpopular sport, most of these teams would only be hemorrhaging a large amount of money instead of a gigantic amount of money
Hudson Hernandez
N/a/shville!
Alexander Torres
Yeah, I'm not reading all of that shit.
Evan Hernandez
go to sleep banjo kazooie
Nolan Miller