/hoc/

search lolita on imagefap

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it's a holy temple and public church

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raejuusto

gas yourself

What if there were 100 hockey teams?

If that title reminds you of anything, that’s because I did the same thing for the NBA last summer when I was still young and virile. Now, as I've graduated high school and entered the twilight of my life, I find myself drawn to the concept again, like a retired sailor to the entrancing and unforgiving sea -- but this time not just for any sport I happen to watch, but for my all-time favorite sport, ultimate frisbee. Wait, no, hockey.

“Now Jake,” you might be wondering, nonplussed that you somehow know my first name, “Why? Why any of this? Don’t you have anything better to do? Aren’t there a wide variety of issues arising out of an NHL suddenly in triplicate?”

To answer the former, no.

The latter, though, requires a bit of a longer explanation, and I actually have a variety of reasons I think you’ll find more than convincing.

1. 100 NHL teams means more hockey to watch, I think we can all agree that would be cool and good.

2. Hockey fans are incredibly insecure about their sport, and adding 100 teams would really make headway towards dunking on people who never really had that strong of an opinion on hockey and just want to have a quiet and friendly dinner for once in their godforsaken lives, would you please quiet down for half an hour?

3. 100 NHL teams means 69 new teams

4. I didn’t want to repeat points from the NBA post but, again, this is the only realistic way San Diego could get an NHL team

5. The talent pool would be so diluted that a ton of people who really want to play in the NHL could do it, and I want as many people to be happy as possible in this and everything else

6. My buddy Thomas would be so hyped dude let me tell you

7. Hockey isn't exactly an unpopular sport, most of these teams would only be hemorrhaging a large amount of money instead of a gigantic amount of money

N/a/shville!

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Yeah, I'm not reading all of that shit.

go to sleep banjo kazooie

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Now that my facts and logic have thoroughly persuaded you, we have to consider an issue that comes up with this post and not with the NBA one: the NHL is much more north-heavy in its fans than basketball, with hockey fans disproportionately Canadian or from the northern states. How could anyone accommodate for this? What kind of brilliant mind could concoct a solution? I hear you cry. Well I couldn’t find a brilliant mind, actually, so you’ll have to accept my solution.

I decided the only fair way to figure this out was to index the number of Twitter followers each team had, since that’s increasingly a good way of measuring fanbase numbers, and divide the number of followers of Canadian teams by American teams. This panned out to 6,941,000 Canadian fans and 21,698,000 American fans, which means roughly 32% of new teams, or 22 out of 69, are gonna be Canadian, which seems fair to me.

(Side note: I realized about halfway through this process that northern places like Boston and Detroit are lumped in with places like Carolina and Florida with this plan, not accurately representing the split between the Sun Belt and the Snow Belt, but I had to click through 31 Twitter accounts and my internet’s really slow, I truly could not be bothered to redo it.)

(Second side note: when I googled “NHL teams fanbase sizes,” every site I found gave me Facebook fan numbers, but for some reason Canadian teams have much better representation on Twitter than on Facebook, so I decided to go with that because I felt bad for them.)

Anyway! Let’s get to team making.

smoke less crack poopeelan

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1. We start with putting teams back in cities that lost one, which means one team for each of the cities on this Wikipedia list. Well, actually not every city, only the ones that are missing a team. Actually not all of those too, since while the Americans played in cities that no longer have teams (specifically Brooklyn), both are within a reasonable distance of a modern team. God, this is kind of a pain. Whatever, that’s 38 teams, let’s move on.

2. Next we’ll be dispersing 22 teams across Canada. But where? I’ll start with one team for every province and territory, which means, yes, an NHL team will finally be gracing AWG Arena in Iqaluit. We’ve all been waiting for it. This will create 7 teams, each more inevitably successful than the last.

3. Okay, 15 more, that can’t be tough, right? Just take the most populous metropolitan areas, slap a team on their biggest arena, call it a day. Easy as beating Tampa in the first round. So there’s 60 teams.

3.5. ...Actually that just added about 14 more to southern Ontario. New rule, disperse them amongst the biggest metropolitan areas with a cap at 4 more for southern Ontario. As easy as beating Pittsburgh in the first round. There’s 60 teams.

4. We can finally get down to the US. We’ve got 40 teams left, which leaves us a lot of wiggle room, but let’s start out by doing the same thing we did with Canada, but one team for every northern state. There isn’t really a set definition of the northern US, so I thought I’d go by snowfall, which was kind of hard to find (to my Californian shock, the amount of snowfall a region gets varies year by year) -- eventually I went with this very cozy map of the chance a county will have a white Christmas, and based on that found a vague definition of northern states. That’s 79 teams.

haha that’s hella wack

business idea: arizona stadium series

I'm listening, but only for trips
be convincing, I'm am way not on board already

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>games last about 10 minutes before ice is total shit

5. That added up fast. There’s only 21 left! That’s only two-thirds of the current NHL! We’ll start working through them by first by adding extra teams to cities that can support them but don’t have them already, which will only be three more in Chicago, Boston, and Philadelphia. There’s 82 teams.

5.5. I theoretically could have added one to the Detroit metropolitan area, as well, but I'm gonna say I didn't because the place seems too monolithically Red Wings-supporting and not because I straight up forgot to.

6. Alright, 18 left. I don’t really have any arbitrary things to fill now, so I’ll just disperse them among the bigger cities and the ones that have been named as good possible expansion cities for the NHL. In case the rest of this post didn’t seem arbitrary enough, this is where it really goes off the rails.

7. In 1969, Clarence Campbell, president of the NHL, said that "it is conceivable that the Stanley Cup will be played for in Moscow in the not too distant future.” And you know what? I’m gonna listen to him, because the drama of a Moscow NHL team would be awe-inspiring. Let’s put some more in Europe, too. God abandoned all of my projects years ago, we can commit whatever sins we want.

And that’s 100 professional hockey teams in 1 professional hockey league! To keep with the current NHL team structure as closely as possible, the teams have been divided into two conferences of 50 (renamed the Southwestern and Northeastern because I'm ontologically opposed to calling the likes of North Carolina "western"), each composed of 5 divisions of 10. The team names are all 100% serious attempts with reasoning behind all of them. The division names are the exact opposite, with absolute minimal effort put in.

Stop trying to bring back hella.

SOUTHWESTERN CONFERENCE

Snowed Out For Half The Season Division

Alaska Timber Wolves
Yukon Malamutes
Yellowknife Whalehorns
Nunavut Aivit /// Nunavut Walruses
Kalaallit Nunaat Nanot /// Greenland Polar Bears
Wood Buffalo Cranes
Edmonton Oilers
Calgary Flames
Saskatoon Stallions
Regina Buffalo Bones

Should’ve Pulled Their Weight in the Civil War (And Also British Columbia) Division

Vancouver Canucks
Victoria Spirits
Abbotsford Cascades
Seattle Emeralds
Portland Rainbuds
Idaho Pines
Missoula Cutthroats
Billings Magic
Wyoming Broncs
Colorado Avalanche

Absolute Nexus of Ice Hockey Culture Division

Sacramento Grizzlies
Oakland Oaks
San Jose Sharks
Los Angeles Kings
Anaheim Ducks
San Diego Aces
Vegas Golden Knights
Arizona Coyotes
Utah Gulls
New Mexico Bombers

Thought “IceGators” Was An Acceptable Name For A Professional Hockey Team Division

Oklahoma City Blazers
Dallas Stars
Houston Aeros
San Antonio Bats
New Orleans Brass
Tampa Bay Lightning
Florida Panthers
Atlanta Thrashers
Carolina Hurricanes
Nashville Predators

Back To The Cornfields Division

St. Louis Blues
Kansas City Scouts
Iowa Goldfinches
Omaha Tornadoes
South Dakota Choppers
Minnesota Wild
North Dakota Moose
Duluth Raptors
Marquette Martens
Winnipeg Jets

Christ almighty, it's still typing.

NORTHEASTERN CONFERENCE

Division Of The Unsalted Seas, Which I Learned Was A Name For The Great Lakes While Finding Duluth’s Team And Is So Much Cooler Than The Great Lakes Division

Milwaukee Badgers
Chicago Blackhawks
Chicago Soul
Indiana Beasts
Cincinnati Stingers
Columbus Blue Jackets
Pittsburgh Penguins
West Virginia Rattlesnakes
Detroit Red Wings
Grand Rapids Mastodons

Overpopulated (For Some Reason) Division

Hampton Roads Rhinos
Washington Capitals
Baltimore Skipjacks
Philadelphia Flyers
Philadelphia Hellbenders
New Jersey Devils
New York Rangers
New York Islanders
Hartford Whalers
Syracuse Olympians

Good Ol’ Ontario Boys Division

London Marquis
Hamilton Tigers
Kitchener Eagles
Mississauga Bulls
Toronto Maple Leafs
Kingston Battalion
Buffalo Sabres
Rochester Scorpions
Ottawa Senators
Sudbury Falcons

Principally Anti-British Division

Providence Reds
Boston Bruins
Boston Liberty
New Hampshire Chinooks
Vermont Militia
Maine Cats
Harfangs de Sherbrooke /// Sherbrooke Owls
Canadiens de Montréal /// Montreal Canadiens
Wanderers de Montréal /// Montreal Wanderers
Nordiques de Québec /// Quebec Nordiques

Quintilingual Division

Séismes de Saguenay /// Saguenay Earthquakes
Moncton Phoenix/Phœnix de Moncton
Halifax Ospreys
Newfoundland Landseers
Charlottetown Blue Jays
London Lions
Coqs de Paris /// Paris Roosters
Stockholm Väringalidet /// Stockholm Varangians
Mocкoвcкиe мeдвeди /// Moscow Bears
Пeтepбypгcкиe тюлeни /// St. Petersburg Grey Seals

(The three slashes indicate a translated, but unofficial version of the name -- the Moncton Phoenix’s name looks different because it’s officially in both English and French)

BUSINESS GENIUS IDEA: Status, Legendary
Alaska Series; fully live right before regular season starts

they could include it in the overseas game package.. BOOM
Dynamite

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allright lads, who the FUCK gave the kiwi cocaine?

There are 2 stadiums in Phoenix area with retractable roofs. So it would be like any indoor game after a while just with more seats and unoccupied space

wow so they can have their 10 fans sit in a 60000+ seat handegg arena

Here's a map of all the teams, by the way. It was mostly a reference for making divisions, so there's no names or anything, but it might be interesting to look at.

So we've got 100 NHL teams at our disposal now, but we don't have players for most of them. The NHL's guidelines state that a team can have no less than 20 and no more than 23 players, which means we need somewhere between 1,380 and 1,587 players to fill out all these rosters. As far as I'm aware, hockey players are a reasonably important part of hockey teams, so finding some more would probably be wise.

Thankfully it won't be hard. the NHL is far and away the most prestigious level of ice hockey anywhere in the world, averaging almost triple the attendance of the next highest league, and the global nature of ice hockey means that there are people from all over the world who would love to play for the NHL. We won't be hurting for players here. The leagues we'll poach them from might. But we won't.

However, if we just have an expansion draft for the new teams, they'll be left with CHL/AHL/KHL/NL/SHL/&c.-tier caliber to match the first 31 teams' NHL caliber -- it'll be patently unfair. To ensure the parity hockey fans love to boast about, we'll give each team three players to protect, and throw the rest into the draft. Three is enough to maintain an old core, I feel, but not too much to keep your entire talent base; teams like San Jose and Boston would still be good, but not excessively so.

Also the draft will be held in a randomly-selected new city, regardless of its facilities (or lack thereof), each team will be given 30 seconds to make its pick, and Eric Andre will be the host. That feels right.

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He probably licked a bunch of toads.

The season probably won't look too different, we don't need to reinvent the wheel here, we just need to restructure things a bit. I'm thinking we expand the season to 113 games, starting the season a full month early -- 9 series of 3 against intradivision teams, 30 of 2 against intraconference teams, and 26 games for interconference teams to be divvied up as the teams see fit. I foresee absolutely no possible negative consequences that could come from this.

Following this, there's the playoffs, which I've decided to make a little bit complex. Each conference will see 24 teams make the playoffs, with the rounds going through a standard seeded format until there are 6 teams in total left. At that point, they'll be combined and re-seeded, and the #1 and #2 seeds enjoy a bye as #3 plays #6 and #4 plays #5. The winner of those two series plays the #1 and #2 seeds, respectively, and the winner of those series goes on to the Stanley Cup.

That's 6 rounds, if you were curious. I could've just gone with a 64-team playoff, but that's kind of boring and also longer -- this is more streamlined. It also sucks, but I'm kind of working with a 100-team league here, if you hadn't noticed. If you've got a better idea, I'm all ears.

What are the ramifications of this, you might wonder? I don't really know, honestly, and I'd hate to find out. They'd probably be worse than any of us would think in entirely unexpected ways, something like the exorbitant amount spent on the Paris team being the final nail in the coffin for the worst recession in recent French history or something.

>Emeralds

the absolute worst name out of the prospective names for that franchise

>thinking I am going to serve a ban
lol

The league obviously doesn't give a shit about game attendances. It would be enough of a spectacle that people would tune in from home

Thinking it's time to filter Australia

starting to think autismo kiwi is real and not just trollingwith copy pasta, what the fuck is going on lads

The only way this could really work would be if it were a kind of tiered system, like in European leagues. Have a couple levels of professional hockey, have the winners of each league advance to the next-highest and the losers be demoted to the next-lowest. Smaller markets could have their own teams without worrying about competing with juggernauts, and we might even see some Cinderella stories -- an unreal Cup run by Sherbrooke from the 3rd level to the 1st, or an owner of an NHL team tanking it so hard it falls to the dregs. That would be really cool and be a whole lot of fun for a whole lot more fans, which is why the league will never do it.

That’s about all I’ve got, to be honest. I know I used this joke on the NBA post, but it's true here too -- it's 2 A.M. as I write this and I have to wake up in like 4 hours, I've rapidly run out of the energy to care. Thanks for reading, sorry for wasting your time, make sure to give your grandma a call when you’ve got the chance

Gary would love this
This is my only official comment
I am closing my replies, thank you and good bye

Kys pedo

>mfw

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Are you doing alright? When's the last time you interacted with a human in real life?

cry more bitch boy

its a r*ddit post

Hey,

Any plan that leaves Cleveland entirely out of it is a plan I can at least hear more about....

New Zealand, continue
what sort of annual schedule is likely??
what do we call the Champ's Trophy?

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wtf is going on on reddit for fuck's sake

hope you are still practicing proper posture

>/hoc/

>an methamphetamine community

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Stop fucking posting you faggot

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i use posture as an excuse to push my tits out like a slut

muh nibba with the sealab

which faggot are you referring to,Sir

I'm not crying, I'm telling you to end your life, freak.

I invented reddit posting.

kawaii desu

I invented reddit.

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just turned on my some frasier

youtube.com/watch?v=GmFp0I8AZqw

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I'm trying to come up with trivia questions for tomorow night, i'm taking care of trivia at the bar

Basketball eatin walrus lookin mafucker

make them all subjective

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just watched the episode of Out of the Park: Europe yesterday where they show a bunch of uncut german dicks

Top qt on chopped right now lads

>it's the besssssssssssssssssssssssssst

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she chopped her dick off

>modern life is excess
Wi... en wii...

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ask who has the biggest dick in the bar

00:46 - 02:10
I nearly pissed myself laughing when i fist watched that movie

youtube.com/watch?v=qhPvmfi34Oo

HOLY FACK BOYS

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>we should probably shoot that

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youtube.com/watch?v=j-IkE5TtO2U

literally boiling

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Y

2D drawings aren't real

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YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANY TIME YOU LIKE!!!!

>but you never leave

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neither are the 2d representations of real girl, or, for that matter, any feelings any woman may have ever shown towards you, nothing was real

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2D drawings still aren't real

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am i real?

/hoc/ is just a figment of my imagination

i need the death grip

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strawpoll.me/18436892/r
strawpoll.me/18436892/r
strawpoll.me/18436892/r

god damn i think my beer cans have holes in them, every FUCKING time i lift one up it's empty

>no kippers
shit poll tbqhwyf

Based alcoholic

Fugg the qt got chopped and she's crying

based

KILL a finn on your way to work tomorrow

rather kill an incel

you'll be banned from /hoc/ forever if you engage in physical violence outside the ice rink lad

Who is the Gomez Addams of the NHL?

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Start with yourself

patty

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youtube.com/watch?v=tQOJY4NXYzM&disable_polymer=1

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business idea: steve miller band cover band

2edgy4me

projection: the post

For me it's California Hustle & Flow

>no da police option
not voting

i'll create a cover band of that band
>stevemiller cover band cover band

t. BOILING incel

What is some other must watch TV from the 60s?

JFK getting his head bleown the fack out played over and over in news footage

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who is the perfect grill and why is it marina?

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more like manrina lol

who is the perfect dip for cheese sticks and why is it marinara

what is the perfect froot and why is it marina?

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tbqh lads if i saw marina at a hockey game, i'd go talk to her, let's say we go back to her hotel and she shows me she has a dick, i think i'd still have sexy time with her

We can all see your flag. This info wasn't necessary

>not ranch
Get out of my sight

t. actual child

why is /hoc/ so angry tonight?

found the cuck tryhard redditor

i'm getting bullied for loving marina but you're clinically retarded user

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>tfw no greek gf

we're all incel manlets who have never put on a pair of skates in our lives

not sure. randy isn't even here

It's a full moon tonight

because the lads can't handle how perfect marina is

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stale memes lads.. i miss 4chins in 1997

You really gonna sit here and act like marinara is some sort of sophisticated sauce?

thinking about benis again

thinking about the time I got banned for off topic posting

yes because only nana can make it a just a right

She's half greek/half irish halfbreed. I could post 100 better looking greek thots from instagram.

>half greek/half irish

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>smoking weed past the age of 20

it's not about her looks, she loves hockey, would outskate most of /hoc/, has created great music, and has the voice of an angel... she's also fucking hot with big tiddies, how is she not /ourgirl/?

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>how is she not /ourgirl/?
because troll feet

28 and just smoked a bowl

>she loves hockey,
I'm sure this is 100% true and not something you just made up.

Wont pass the whiteness test to be allowed on Mount Chad

when i was at the dude store earlier there was an old granny making a purchase and she asked the guy if they give senior discounts to people over 70

Actually, you shouldn't be smoking weed before the age of 25.

youtube.com/watch?v=N0JHHovyD4M

This

do they?
>nice numerals

Tedded some dude, poured a whiskey and fired up chel

Thinkin' 'bout feet lads.

yep thinkin that's based

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>does the government give a discount

kek

>Warning: Adolescents are at greater risk of harm from cannabis. Early and regular use increases the risk of psychosis and schizophrenia.

youtube.com/watch?v=8JHINokmH6w
>you'd do anything for a dime
she's telling us about the >rags from (((nyc)))
>i'm obsessed with the mess that's america
she's saying american hockey has been shit as they never win any olympic gold medals in men's hockey
>your mind is just like mine, all filled up with things benign
she is talking about browsing /hoc/

have sex

same

Alright, /hoc/, what was the greatest Olympic team of all time?

Good god this is awful.

chicks dig mental issues when they're drunk lad

Canada 2016

finland 2022

2002 Canada for sure. Might get drunk and fire up the old VHS rip now that you mention it.

Great Britain 1936

Not your kind of legit mental issues.

>her music is great
>she has the voice of an agel (she sounds like a man)
>she loves hockey (entirely made up)
>she could outskate most of /hoc/ (bordering on delusional

>She's hot with big titties

Have sex. Then you can stop creating these false realities in your brain to justify jerking off to a picture of a celebrity. Just admit to yourself you find the girl hot and jerk off. You don't need to justify it. Have sex and you will be able to do this. You will also stop falling in love with celebrities and random girls and "waifus". Just have sex.

USA USA USA

this was fun while it lasted, lad, mental illness marina shitposting is cancelled for tonight, you're a good lad, here's one last marina

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ok bye

Make a question about how the Maple Leafs owner decided to stitch all the players names in blue (blue on blue home jersies) because he didn't want to lose revenue by not selling programs.

Depending on the level of trivia, you can make the answer the team, the owner who did it, or what he did.

good job lad.

good question for /hoc/ trivia, but it's down at the bar with the local degenerates, doubt anyone will be able to answer this, you're still a super lad for taking the time to tell me this one,though, i appreciate it, you're a fren

does this count as trivia?

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I was president of my college's quiz bowl team for 3 consecutive years. I'm loaded with facts.

Going to Maccas who wants stuff

ask the bar which country generates the most ice hockey busts

For me, it has to be chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, chewing some Cope inside of the /hoc/

Are you getting a burger? Let me know if you can tell the difference with their new way of making the burgers that is supposedly better.

Happy Meal please

what the fuck is Maccas lad

i hate this place
yet i cant leave

It's the Australian nickname for Mcdonalds. Like how everyone here calls it McDicks.

having chipotle thanks
just go away

Fuck off to another board for a few months or years, it's what I do.

sometimes the line between trivia and autism is very slim
you must've been swimming in pussy
super good trivia, thanks for enlightening me lad
welcome to the club, i've been here since 1995 and can't leave

Actually now that I look it up, it's not even a nickname. It's called Maccas down there. Like how Burger King is called Hungry Jacks.

do they eat kangoroo in australia?

the mcdicks here have bing bing toys with the happy meals

next month they'll start giving out DUDE with happy meals

they have neat pokeman cards

poke-cheked if you catch my meaning

Stop making shit up

It's for kids, but I imagine their a many grown ass men sheepishly ordering happy meals and requesting the toy they don't already have.

try googleing it if your phone can have more than one tab open at a time zoomer fuck

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>it ain't hell, but it's damn close!

ive tried that, i keep crawling back
call it weak willed if you want

>Come look at all this dirt!

kwob

it's not 3:10 yet

how many days left bedore season starts?

lol'd also nice trips

unironically based movie

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most rookie training camps start the first week of september, regular training camp the second week.

Yea Forums was a mistake.

All it took was my middle school friends to show me nearly 10 years ago.

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zoomers OUT

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vocaroo.com/i/s0EkDdSP8xuN

Where else would you like to hang out on the internet?

Facebook?
Twitter?

All the places I used to hang out, like mIRC and BBS are long dead. This is the only place worth a shit, even if it's shit.

>every time

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>mIRC
based
>BBS
cringe

Sounds like Jimmy from KotH

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Which team should I bandwagon this year? Avs didn't work out.

>>BBS
>cringe
True, basically the equivalent of modern redditt with post counts and reps and all that garbage. But there used to be a ton of them, many of them niche, all dead now.

sounds like bobcat goldthwait

>Norway
You have to be a Minnesota fan now because that's where Zucarello plays.

Didn't Zuccarello go to Minnesota?

Lmfao, I'm sorry, I can be many things, but that's gonna be a no.

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Stick with the >rags then, it's going to be a fun season on /hoc/ for us.

no you have to

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outside of Minnesota, Seattle has a big Norwegian population. Shitpost about the Seattle team and it's name for the next 2 years.

SIGN RANTENEN YOU COWARDS

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>marner
>laine
>rantenten
>poojuljarvi

Is this the season where Boomer GMs finally put Zoomer RFAS in their place? Imagine if all 4 sat out all season.

>boeser

the good guys

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Not a big fan of New York.
Shan't.
Too late to get on this bandwagon I think.
I'm not a semen slurper. Also west coast teams doesn't work because of the time difference. It's the main reason I'm thinking about getting off the Avs wagon.

if you bandwagon >rags you'll have much kappo kakko posting to do

join us

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Boston is the Seattle of the east coast.

I don't care about Boston

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please consider >us

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My dad's birthday is next week.

I routinely forget my dad's birthday because I haven't seen him in years.

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how many day until an hockey, lads?

Many moons

about 50 until opening night
maybe about 40 until preseason starts

we’re gonna make it, lads

yeah but you are asleep half the time, plus holidays and weekends, it's like 2 weeks really.

will the blots make the playoffs this year

and there's still the AIHL playoffs to tide us over

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youtube.com/watch?v=7k07j7LcLqw

I play 3 times a week lad

Z
E
R
O
WINS

>rags

;_;
sh-shut up...

Yeah, fat lot of good it will do them

REH Yooooooo

>laffs
yet also
>rags

>tf
>tp
whoa

What's whoa is those digits

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Is hockey a water sport?

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of course
youtube.com/watch?v=GWKb235yjoY

ice

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Saw a Staples back to school ad and I started laughing at zoomers.

I need help.

*plugs ur snorkel*

i'm trying to help you leonard, i'm really trying.

huomenta

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hate baseball

>your team lose?

its more my team got hot and a key player may or may not be injured and it just so happens hes the best fucking player

i pretty much know that feel. >our star dh has been absolutely shit lately and is actively losing >us games while in the hunt for a wildcard spot

tampa?

For me, it’s the Twins

luongo vs price, who ya got /hoc/

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kek. close, oakland

at least you arent the mets. I want to believe in miracles but this fucking team just got mcneil hurt. i just want to see the islanders at this point, since theyre not as fucking cursed as them

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yesterday i sneezed so hard i farted

Luke Schenn desu

what is the outcome based upon?

luongo ez

the pitching rotation the >mets had in 2016 should have carried them to a ws

2016 was the matter of "oh hey fuck you, face the best postseason pitcher which so happens to be one your team struggles against always"

one game wild cards suck ass

strombone here, what's up my nibbas

>at least you arent the mets
i guess, still won't make the post season

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>one game wild cards suck ass
makes it hard to take seriously desu

the mets got the second best staff in all of baseball and they'll miss. EVERYONE would crave to have a degrom or syndergaard, but our infield is so fucking bad
theyre fun if they get an intense game like 2014 ALWC, but the opposite can be a blowout where it just shows the home team getting dicked

is this the year for my flyers

KEK!! no.

This is the year for my nuckies

kepler is that you?

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grim stuff

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so this is the power of discord trannys

i fucking despise these people

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>fuck switzerland
why tho?

please

this shit makes me sick

because they're neutral

finna play some chel 20

>/mlb/ so fucking pathetic they need to act even more post ironic than this place and create an "inspector"
I'd gladly take the weedposters than someone using elipses and kek endlessly

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nigger what are you on about

go check /mlb/, and tell me that place is "sane"

reminder (redux)

one of their game threads was just one poster talking to himself

forgot to post the reminder lads

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for me it is 110% REFUSING to purchase or play nhl 19 (nigger on cover) or nhl 20 (busthews on cover)

i never leave /hoc/

wassup my homo friend

...

I dont even get how one can discuss baseball here when they just act like retards. I know the canadian despises me for watching hockey, but at least I analyze what players do and shit. Baseball, you can call anyone an overrated shit

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>pit stains through his shirt AND jacket
disgusting wetback

cricket is irrelevant to the first world m8

who cares

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but he is right

cool story bro I didnt read shit

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yes you did

which one of you retards made this post

>Would outskate most of /hoc/
I got play against the Canadian women's national team when I was 16, we obliterated them. Womens hockey is the biggest meme on the planet.

>byfuglien is not allowed to hit anyone too hard
hes right

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last season he hit someone so hard he heemed himself

he hit him the wrong way because he isnt allowed to hit anyone too hard

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oh no crazy people congregating in containment areas on the internet. whatever will we do. this never happens.

cricket is on

oh shit big GET soon

i trust we can leave it to you.

/hoc/ is a benevolent ruler
let one of the poor generals get it

I'll stay up to get it

Bros...

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no that's me

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shut the fuck up wojak

when is hockey about to happen?

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here's some hockey for you

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khl soon m8

will you watch carparts this year?

who the fuck even types like this lol

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looks like tripping balls guy

A cross-thread buck and seethe
The banter has critically hit

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not soon enough

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the finnish goaltending meme never gets old

yeah idk why they type like babies. this is why i never go there.

back from the gym m8?

you know me too well

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for me its queens of the stone age's ...like clockwork and listening to each track in order because albums are made to be listened first to last in one sitting

Kippers is seething right now

which is better; in my head or go with the flow

go with the flow by virtue of the fact that the album is better

but in my head is probably their best song

just around 300 more posts to go for

*in my head by virtue of the fact that the album is better, sorry

in my head is weird to me it has a slightly fedora tier britpop sound to it at times, but lullabies is the better album

better be another

too many 8s

...

888888888888888
?

>mets

we can do it bros

88

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in the future when the post count reaches this number /cric/ will still find a way to get btfo

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4channel Yea Forums will never reach that number in even your great great great great great^great grandchildrens lifetime

hockey as a spoort won't even exist that far in the future

youtu.be/Qy3qk4ohwFA

(8_8)

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/cric/ btfo

fuckin check'em

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Based Tuukka Rask only needs two (2) more wins for the record of most wins ever by a leafs drafted goalie

>finnish goaltender
>based
hmm

youtube.com/watch?v=rM02vHtftd0

i use that move all the time

imagine how shitty zoomers will be during space colonizing posting

h8 ruins, but that would indeed be based.

neither will australia but you don't see anyone complaining about that

spooky

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dabbing on the laffs is always based m8

*rips bong*
>1993
*rails molly*
>rags
*grows dro in a burnt out building*
Hill billys
*tells police about squatters rights
Pulju
*brushes teeth with meth paste*
>ice

real pookcific hours

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youtu.be/TwgGfjVnvdc

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based

sounds fun

digits soon, lets get it

get

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testing

1

STAY AWAKE HOC

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should i get another bottle of wine hoc? the bottle shop is about 850m away and i have to walk

opposite of huomenta

hoc never sleeps

do whatever makes you feel happy

nothing makes me feel happy but booze and that moment of carefree bliss right before i nut

hockey

is

nice

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but baseball is nicer

based but cringe

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a cute

would

nice

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>search google for image.
>ll cool j
huh?

looks like the girl i messed around with in highschool

...

NOWS YOUR TIME
LET TOTAL WAR...BEGIN

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not far now. warm up those >rags posts fellas

>rags

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youtube.com/watch?v=2Bb0k9HgQxc

nice try satan

/cric/ is big gay

youtube.com/watch?v=WHN-4ca5wx0

Digits for /hoc/

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>rags

fuck /cric/
fuck >rags
fuck >laffs
fuck Finn's
and fuck australians

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I c e

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/cric/

>rags

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big cock /croc/

shit get

LGI!

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/cric/? more like /shit/ (they poo in the street)

jackpot :D

get

fuck niggers and jannies

nice try shithead

who got it?

mission failed: we'll get em next time

good try

>some bulgarian got the GET for something retarded
one of the absolute worst GET's ever

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trash get

the fuck is an fpl

fantasy premier league. soccer shit

/hoc/ still hasn't recovered from /mlb/ stealing and I sense.............desperation

how many /cric/ gets have you lads had?
>me
>1

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94777835
dont you have other places to endlessly use elipses and talk baby shit?

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see

lmaoing @ spicswing only playing with babbygets

Please let him stay here

night /hoc/ stay black

IT WAS ALL WE HAD BROS

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was a long time ago

No matter what, THIS is the best GET in Yea Forums's history. Divegrass subhumans can disagreee all they want but it is true

>mest

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wonder if the lad still posts here

wow what a zinger.

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thoughts on the sheriff?

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nice hat

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No, that would be when Yea Forums stole Yea Forumss 5's get

I heard this place needs some clearin' up

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looks like spicswing is riled up with their own randy

cringe or based

I'll clear these folks out.

Nah this is cringe. At least randy is more entertaining than this avatarfag

they better wrangle their retard or I will unleash the Fin

He’s gotta awaken first to the tune of gay buttsex

Sup lmao

Mm... big doins down at the ol hockey hole.. heard might a ruckus comin' from yonder..

BINLAND!

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luckily we have /mlb/ for that

Nah this is just one guy trying to fist his own asshole but he’s making his anus bleed and we get no comedy

Mmm....this ain't baseball....hm....how can i bar b que in the ice....mmm....this is strange...well...guess...I'll have....somma barb's sweet tatoe pie...

Mm.. crack o the bat sounds off today... sound like more of a whap and slap.. must be my ol tinnitus actin' up... mm can still smell those coals heatin' up just fine

Binland wins, NHL loses

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idk i think we can keep a token /mlb/ retard around for the rest of the offseason. he's like grease. here for our entertainment.

Mmmm..wha-....wheres the smell o some finely grated fresh chalk...Mmmm...perhaps...maybe go some ice fishin with the pops...nice fixin'll certainly do...maybe play some hoc as we tune into some ball...on the radio o course...

Oh me and paw ain't been ice fishin' in a dog's age..

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I mean, he’s just acting like a retard wanting (you)’s. At least greece knew some hockey and has a team

i only care about cricket and hockey. baseball is gay

that's reasonable

Sorry

>he’s just acting like a retard wanting (you)’s
describes every single person on this website tbqhwyf

for me, it's crocket

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wickets and shit

huomenta but the opposite

your gay

fuck off randy

look at all these fuckin canadians goooooo!

business idea: hostile takeover of ted's trucking company

ok, what do we do once we have it?

transport ice from the arctic and transform the sunbelt into an extension of the snowbelt

>and trans
Based /hoc/key

business idea: make vodka on the leftover NHL arena ice zambonis scrape off when resurfacing the ice and sell it to boomers

thinking about finnish goaltending lads

no

thinking about finnish goaltending AND >rags combined

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thinking I might invest /hoc/'s money in it anyway

zero sleep
off to work
grim

Would buy

Y

Finally a man with good taste

Y

afraid of the new one

just make it a nice finlan edition

make it Yuma edition

i'm not making it.

me either

500

last /hoc/ ever

new