I need someone near the 440 area code and an appetite for murder

You could wait for it to pass. You don't know what being dead is like. It could be even worse. Atleast where you are now you can try to figure out a way to solve your problems and be happy. Maybe just try something new despite how you feel. Your deppressed anyway why not?

you only have one life so you may as well play the cards you were dealt and try and fix it. you're gonna die at some point anyway so fuck around with the time you have left. leave your wife, quit your job if you have one and just do something else. If you truly want to die then take some risks and see if your life gets better. it that doesn't work then you can always go back to suicide as a plan b

fpbp

I understand where you're coming from, I've offered the same advice to people. But if I'm being honest, I don't want to go through the hassle of identifying and fixing my problems, it all seems like a massive wall i can't climb. Rather just cut my losses and be on my way at this point.

I feel like, while trying to justify my request, I've inadvertently turned this into a pity party. That's not what i want to do here.
Anyone know of a better place than Yea Forums to get someone to do this for me?

seems a poor choice, but I doubt too many people are going to stop you. should be relatively easy is that makes you feel better. Make your death comfortable, maybe alcohol and meds. Or you could buy some fentanyl or something and go out in a high.

If you do it on a train track you could make it look like an accident and still take responsibility for it.

Do you know of anything that pairs well with alcohol that I can get without a prescription?

Why not take out a massive loan, max out your credit cards and party in Mexico for a week before you pay a doctor there to euthanize you? Why not go out with a bang.

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Oh shit they'll do that over there?