I ended up ghosting everyone in real life and online in attempts to start a fresh life. I also got rid of all forms of social media and websites with accounts.
I don't even have family that I'm associating with right now. Has anyone else on here experienced this and what did you do?
I don't know where to go or what to do to even start my life.
I'm a NEET and don't go out of the house. I feel like right now is the best time to be an hero.
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Social media is an unhealthy thing in the long run. It's not all bad. Maybe try therapy?
get a job/ start working out. you need to start going outside your comfort zone at least a little. You will feel better in the long run.
tbh i dont go out ever either so idk what id do if i did, im too akward to go to a bar so no advice there.
I'd like to have small internet communities to be a part of though. No whoring or bullshit like Facebook or Instagram. Just conversations and being able to discuss interests as well as hobbies too.
I actually have started up a fitness routine, I've also been eating healthier. But I've literally isolated myself socially and that's what's tearing me apart.
I'm in a similar situation, but still talk to my mom and only brother. Everyone else has either cut me out, or I've cut contact with them. It's tough user, some people just do better alone. It sounds like you should try and make contact with some family, just text someone, let them know you're alright. They'll prob be glad to hear from you. Finding a job and staying active, even if just working out at home, is good for mental health. Don't mess around with bars, it's a waste of money, and you'll only run into garbage people. Beyond all that, a lot of ppl here are shut ins too, and will usually be here to shoot the shit if you need someone to bounce your thoughts off of. Don't be an hero OP, things will get better.
I'm extremely disconnected with my family and talking to them honestly only depresses me even further. Before I decided to "go ghost" I tried to reach out to some of my good childhood friends. But they didn't want anything to do with me either. Most of them are married with kids and have no interest in talking to a loser like me.
Get off Yea Forums A a ron and do something about it instead of bitching.
I'm pretty lonely, havnt had any real friends in 5/6 years
I started an apprenticeship which is good but it's hard to make new friends as you get older
I know what you mean dude, a lot of my old friends are married with kids too. Stopped trying to associate with them years ago, just nothing in common. The family thing is def the worst I bet, I haven't talked to anyone outside my immediate family in a really long time, and at this point, don't even really consider myself part of the extended family.
Thought about going back to school at all? I'm going to try and get myself into some kind of medical lab tech field or something in the next year, because I keep bouncing from crappy job to job. Hoping I meet some decent people there if I can manage to get any kind of financial aid.
Suck it up you pussy. I did the same and my life is fucking great. A new life makes a new man so dont make the new you into a bitch.
I haven't even had anything to do with my immediate family in over two years going on three.
Lifestyle, politics, religion, and just everything else in between has drove us all apart.
I'd love to go back to school but there's no way I could have the money or support to go.
I'm not even sure what I could for work, everything here is a dead-end job that is food or retail. My work experience is pretty much god awful. I've worked a couple of jobs on and off throughout the years. But haven't really put in much time anywhere I've been. I usually quit out of depression, anxiety, boredom, and/or extreme anger.
Fuck your idea of telling me "how to be a man". I mean seriously, I'm sick of everyone having this straightforward idea of what a man is supposed to fucking be.
nice dubs
The world is fucked up, user, but you sound like a good dude. Don't listen to these keyboard warriors here pretending like they know shit. I usually ignore these threads, but for some reason I feel for you OP. Keep fighting the good fight. Some internet weirdo out here is rooting for you. Be good to yourself.
I'm hardly ever post on here, although i am now, and to you user!
I am in the same situation, logged out of facebook, for almost 2 years now, ghosting myself, for no reason really, just because i just cant be bothered. And feel obligated to message friends back right away when inboxed, and i hate that feeling. . ..
Although, i've been taking my time away, and basically re-inventing myself, a better version of myself, until i feel comfortable with myself and confident enough (steady income, suitable job, working outect . .)
Take this time away to better yourself user, i know i sound like im rambling, just because i'm still high and havent slept for 4 days meth, although that part is irrelevant.
Don Trip - Handcap youtube.com
Thank you both, but I think that's exactly what I need to do. I need to keep fighting and completely reinvent myself. I need to try to understand that this fresh start doesn't have to entirety be a negative experience. I can turn it into a positive situation. Right now I'm currently stable enough not have to work a job until after the new year. So I have plenty of time to formulate a proper plan. I can take the time to continue to exercise, work on my diet, maybe start picking back up some old hobbies as well as new ones too. Once I get ready to go back out into the world I can choose to be whoever I want. Focus on saving up money and learning as much as I can before relocating then starting fresh in person rather than just mind. I can also figure out the digital world in the remaining Fall and early Winter months as well. I need to understand that social media is a serious cancer and plague. I don't need it at all. Maybe even go back to being old school and revisiting to be a part of forums or other websites in that fashion. My family is the biggest obstacle though. I'm not sure how I can properly move past the problems with them.
I ghosted my family too at the age of 30. Moved to a different country and travelled a lot, started working out.
I also worked on why I ghost so much and why I have this loner tendency and low self esteem besides being very successful and good looking.
Iam diagnosed with ADD. My brain is different and i need to work with that and accept myself.
Whats wrong with isolating yourself user ? Do you feel like your missing out on anything ??
The way i feel and look at my situation is that for example im currently single (2 years) although im happier single, because i think to myself that if i was in a longterm relationship this current moment, it would probably end up being stressed and end up having another ex to stalk me, and personally im happy to be single this very moment, even tho im not even dating, only learning to love my self.
And im alone lots of the time, yet i dont feel lonely, i can be my myself and enjoy the company !
keeping busy and such (Whether it be on sites like this, reading sketchy ebooks like Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Nutrition books, learning how to disable or deflect rf cameras, ect. . or smoking meth, but who are you to judge me tho? I can only judge my self, i suggest you do the same (And love yourself b/ro
And regards ghosting the family. I don’t regret it. I don’t need them and why would you stay with something which drags you down and costs you so much hyperfocus energy.
Get yourself a therapist on the side and try to find the root cause, learn understand and live with yourself. It will make things easier having someone to talk to.
How has the experience been since you haven't had anything to do with your family?
Did you make new friends to take place of a pseudo-family of sorts?
I probably also have a combined from of ADD/ADHD. I clearly have traits of being neurodiverse.
it warms my heart to see that my genuine reply to your post has shed some light to you. It is only because im in the same boat bro.
Wondering how we can chat privately somehow,
?? Im from canada, although whatever
The way my family has put me down for not being "normal" seeking out a life like theirs and constantly excluding me yet putting me down for being different has made me feel terrible throughout the years. I don't connect with any family on any side whatsoever. I'm always depressed and sometimes even suicidal after every encounter or interaction with them. But I have an overwhelming since of guilt that consumes me thinking "What if something happened to one of them and this was the way things had to end?".
I am guilty of hating myself. More or less from the self-image that I've been given by my family and those who treated me wrongfully in my past.
I actually just dropped my therapist a couple of weeks ago. She wasn't helping me one bit and it was very clear she wasn't listening to me. If I do go back to therapy I'll have to find someone new. That's for sure.
That's true...I'm glad that it's working out of you. Maybe if I could move away from them. I'd start to feel a small sense of freedom and that weight lifted.
Having not to deal with family and hyper focusing on their troubles has been a big relief over the past 5 years. I took things to seriously and I wanted to give back and care for the family but I always felt it’s eating me and my own life away.
I was still undiagnosed ADD by then.
I recently started a new relationship and it’s working fine, but also here Iam hyperfocused and but I communicate much more than ever and she is smart and understanding.
Usually I ghosted a girl after 3 months max because it was too much ... now I try to work and it’s 10 months now. Going well
Social media you cannot neglect forever tho .
Just have a profile at the very least, and Keep It Cultivated.
with mostly of the ppl you talk to and such. like friends from school, and old co-workers..
Even if you dont go on here, it will still create an array of Mystery, which Also can benefit you (From not logging on still)
Theres a book called 48 Laws of Power by Roberte Green. give that a good read, whether it be audio book, or just reading through it with plenty of tea, and meth, but i dont think u do that type of dope, but whatever lma,o to each there own. no shame. just Keep Yourself Cultivated
NEET is not a success. Consider your distress, and realize that we are social beings, best and happiest while serving and being served by our fellows.
It may not technically be necessary to disavow your income, but it may be the only practical means of motivating you to undertake socialization.
Alone you may as well be in a tomb, and emotionally you grasp this and seek permanently to give up. Potential to be happy as a human is only possible through socialization. You don't need to be a party animal, a PUA, or man about town.
Just get out of the house, and do some good for somebody.
ADD and ADHD is irrelevant bro !! it is just a Label so that doctors and pharma make money.
Dont let it define you !!
Im bipolar and have to take meds, the only thing defining me being bipolar is how they treat me in a criminal trial for something or whatever may arise , whether it be fighting a traffic ticket, lol or the doctor
That's good to hear, I wish you the best of luck in your relationship user.
I need some stability like that in my life even just a small portion of it.
become a sailor user
Stop being a pussy. How are you different?
There are a lot of fish in the sea. Your experiences to date do not define what is possible.
We do not choose our family, and not all families are the best people to associate with. Neither those we have interacted with in the past.
Billions of people you have never met are outside your door. Go meet them, and in time you will encounter them that will be worth meeting. Don't take it personally if any of them aren't worth meeting. Just move on.
I hear you !
I dont like to talk to immediate family for almost 20 years, just because they're proper and normal, and because my mom tried to mold me into somebody i was not (normal)
Everytime i hear someone or even a tv commercial of a mom telling her son that he can be who ever he wants to be when he grows up, and to Be Yourself. . i cry to myself, because im grown now and trying to be myself, but how? as my parents raised me to be a bitch. I cant hold grudge with them, even tho i do, cant show it.
Why do you say that social media can't be neglected? Are we really in an age where it's that forced upon us?
Fuck the therapist !!! They're pretty much undercover agents/cops. And tell them too much? You're fucked !
There's a movie called "Changeling" check it out. peace
ADD is not irrelevant. It’s there. Just like Autism- or this irrelevant too?
It explains my life mysteriously well.
And working with that insight has helped me tons, I mostly helped myself as Iam high functioning with good introspection.
Just my 2 cents
Everybody is different - my add self help group has many subtypes but we all have high similarities.
First I need to start focusing on being able to get out of the house on a regular basis.
fucking kill yourself already, retarded faggot
I know...I need to accept myself for what mental abstract processes I contain though. I was actually sitting thinking earlier, how can I use the strengths of my mental "illnesses" instead of focusing so much on being a victim of them.
I don't live anywhere near the ocean and I don't even know the first steps.
Sorry to change the tone of the thread and go off-topic. But I don't even know where sailor's hang out except on Shenmue.
Interests, hobbies, lifestyle, religion, political views, etc. I'm literally a polar opposite person from the rest of my family.
I know, I just need to find it within myself the true emotional motivation and determination to truly separate these feelings as well as chains my family have a hold on me with. Find in my own way how to move on from them and really start living my life.
How did you adapt and find the willpower to completely disassociate yourself from them?
When I was seeing my therapist she suspected me of having Asperger's.
Well, you really don't need to gird your loins for battle. You just need to stand up and walk outside. You don't even need to talk to anyone to do so.
I live in a remote village and was raised on an island in Alaska. I feel at home innawoods far more than I do in town. Just going outside is a start, and if you make it pleasant rather than a trial, that will help feeling prepared for building on that foundation.
Pick some flowers. Sunbathe. Beachcomb. Just get out of your tomb for a start. Maybe a puppy or kitten will provide useful emotional support in time. Whatever seems pleasant and useful to you.
Don't build up expectations or plans that too suddenly put demands on your emotional state. Make the transition from your present isolation to some future state easy and non-threatening, and when you're feeling better move forward towards a goal of having worthwhile friends.
As you see from the posts in this thread, there are folks worth knowing, though they may be few. They won't break into your house, so you're going to have to leave it to find them. Make that transition gently and pleasurable.
The masses appear to hooked on it,. Just because they Feel like it is Needed.
Email and ways to conduct business being through Google and such, appears need,
We will all enslave ourselves into this, until there is an EMP.
When theres an EMP, now what ??? No hospital records securely stored on paper no more, no paper trail of Anything. it will be wiped.
Then what?? user,
The only way to stop this Wireless Evolution is to Not Condone it.
I believe that, if Cell Phones stopped evolving, we will be okay.
If i used my cell , it is only for calling or Texting.
Im not going to do a science project on my phone, are you ?!?!?
I'll pull out my Nokia 3220, and text my gf to be at home, naked and waiting.
Thats all.
Have a read at
if you liked the idea of becoming a sailor you can always search on google how to become one (depending on the country where you live), being away from the sea is not a problem, you can always do everything you need where you are and once you're ok with all documents and stuff you can search for boarding on the internet
In what way ??
Maybe ,for example if i run into someone i hadnt seen for awhile, (knowing they probably tried getting a hold of me via fb inbox. ) I'll straight up say "And oh hey, if i hadnt been responding to your messages, its because i been Logged Out
Bump. I'm a 39 non neet asocial virgin and this thread interests me.
>things will get better
That's wishful thinking at best
How old are you and are you a virgin?
Pink guy is right
I found a job on the docks in PDX back in the '90s and eventually was offered work at sea because I work hard and got along with Capt. Deeney, who was overseeing the work I was doing.
Yeah, I've never even spoken with my neighbors or taken the time to be outside other than taking out the trash and mowing the lawn.
I know I thought about sitting under a tree in my yard and reading a book most of the Summer. I never ended up getting around to it out of fear that people would be watching me. It's really stupid, but I couldn't help but feel so strongly about it. But that's another battle that I have to take on as I do have things I could do outside even though others may watch me and not understand. I honestly as strange as it sounds for a grown adult. I'd love to just go outside and play with toys.
Trust is another issue I'll have to get over. I instantly like to assume the worse thing is going to happen so I tend to avoid a lot.
True, if you expect them to just spontaneously do so. Being human means having capacity to affect circumstances, and they can get better if we make them better though.
Nice digits.
I did that when I enlisted. It's kind of awesome. My life has improved exponentially as I've dropped all of the dead weight in my life. I'm now happily married, have a kid on the way, new friends, a new home, and I have nothing to do with the people in my old life. You need to look objectively at the reasons for dissatisfaction in your previous life and do not repeat those mistakes.
I never stopped using a "dinosaur" phone. It hasn't even had service in the last 9 months. So I've went without a phone all year.
I was meaning with your family.
mid 20s and no I'm not a virgin.
Nice dubs.
Look man, I tried, I really did, you don't know how much.
But things didn't get better.
I don't regret trying and fighting, it's better than killing myself and I'm a stubborn virgin.
But I don't expect things to improve.
I keep going out of pure spite.
It's not particularly weird that you aren't interested in being a spectacle for gossipy neighbors by reading a book in fresh air. A lot of people aren't especially beneficial to you, due to their traits.
This is why I didn't mention your yard specifically. Get away from your neighbors to prevent that barrier from inducing anxiety. The park, the beach, a mountain trail, or anywhere you'd like to sit and read a book surmounts that barrier by providing anonymity of person and place.
Remove as many anxiety inducing factors in your plan to go outside as are relevant to your concerns.
It's always best to presume and/or imagine the worst thing can practically happen (within probability atleast), therefore it will keep you on your toes and prepared for it !
I'll have to find or figure out some place that I can do that. Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of getting around in a vehicle and walking can be a bit far and wide. As well as the homeless problem going on in my area.
I know it sounds like I keep coming up with excuses but I literally have hundreds of anxiety inducing factors going on in my life right now. It's why I'm such a damn mess.
I've been this way since I learned how dark humanity truly is and it's only become worse as the years go by.
It's good that you're stubborn because you learn from each experience that involves negative results, and being stubborn enables you to try again with those results in mind.
I have lived alone innawoods for extended periods, and like it. Today I live in town, and interact with my neighbors pretty often in positive ways, because I have learned a lot of things about people and don't put barriers up, such as expectations they are smart, nice, or reasonable.
Not taking me seriously has helped a lot, since I don't need to achieve any admirable goal. Things that I regretted so severely they made me vomit no longer have that emotional power. When I remember something that makes me cringe, now I just laugh, and it's a lot easier on me.
People act because of their needs, their motivations, their self images, and I don't take things personally because what they do is about them - even when they mean it to be personal, as an attack on me. It's really about what's in them, not me at all.
Not taking anything personally has defanged the emotional monster that induced my social anxiety, and that includes my own faults, stupidity, and problems.
Consider your nature, and think about someplace that you'd be comfortable and happy to be in. For me it's the wilderness, but not everyone feels that way.
I hate public transport - social anxiety - and can't ride a bicycle due to physical injuries, so for me a vehicle is necessary. As a NEET it would be possible to acquire a rusted out shitbox for very little money. I've been given cars, so even free is possible.
Getting a license and insurance is more expensive and difficult, but it's not really necessary if you're a good driver and a gambler. Not recommending going without them, just pointing out that reality is different than our beliefs about it.
The reality is that you're already buried in a tomb, and you are mentally and emotionally being harmed by that. You need to end that, so look at you and the world and consider means that allow a gentle and pleasurable transition from that to life that isn't confined to a tomb. You don't need to plan beyond that.
Just change the baseline in as non-anxiety inducing and happiness generating way as possible.
Humanity isnt dark dude !
The room i smoke drugs in is dark !
Man up , and quite being how you are right now
They do not Accept me because of my history of drug use. So If And When family gatherins arise, it's all fake smiles, and "So how you been lately?"
It is what it is.
I'm too mature and grown, to act out in childish spoiled ways.
