Am on amphetamines atm need some wacky topics to talk about

A middle-aged Linus, let's call him Minus.

Have you ever taken a shit pajeet-style?
Life altering shit my dude.

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No how is that done im curious

You should be watching a documentary about sloths or organizing your room/apartment/house. Do 7 hour research session on something you enjoy. You’re doing this all wrong

Lift up toilet seat
Take off pants
Squat on rim of toilet bowl
Let the Raj rapids flow
Way more satisfying than regular shit.

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you just squat down and shit with your ass cheeks basically resting on the back of your ankles, it naturally spreads the anal cavity and provides a straighter passage for the shit to travel, something that is usually hindered while sitting on a toilet

Whenever I take my prescribed amphetamines I just become really talkative and annoy the shit out of everyone.
But I love it, for about 8 hours.

that what i normally do. tonight i wanna try something new.

Try getting into something new. Join a BDSM community and talk with the members.