Woosh...bam

Woosh...bam.
You are now in middle ages , in Europe in bumfuck nowhere (you choose).
In your modern clothing (or lack of if you like to shitpost naked) and computer or phone.
What would you do?
You have no money. They don't speak modern language. America is not discovered yet. People are dying from cholera and ass worms.

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Oh, yeah, you missed plague train.

Use modern knowledge to make people think I'm a wizard. Probably would be killed for it.

I would have an asthma attack and immediately die since asthma medication doesn't exist.. Thanks faggot.

Nah.

Nice.

I'm white and I speak the high language. I'd own Europe within three weeks

Convince all of Europe that the niggers to the South and the Gypsies to the East and the Jews of the desert need to be eradicated because they caused the plague

Adolf, nice.
Also they do bank operations which are God forbidden

I go search for white blacksmith, and ask him if he knows about man that works with brass or copper.
Ask them if they know someone with a lathe (yes, they existed).
Ask them if they know someone who deals with chemicals, ammonia to be specific.
Then ask if they need a worker who wants to work for food. Clean their workshop, etc.

After gaining trust, I explain them "pv=nrt" and phase change, and ask blacksmith to make me a thin wall cabinet of steel, and brass nigger to make brass pipes. And ammonia niggers to get that smelly shit.
Using this, I make an absorption freezer. Cool beer, them them taste it, they love it 100%, and it becomes a hot seller. People like it.

󠛡 󠛡

Said nobody with cafe eyes in blond and blue-eyed europ

Thanks for your insightful commentary

THis is what they would say about ur tricks

You've just been accused of wizardry, and sentenced to death by the Catholic church. What do?

I carry vampirism

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Nonono, cold beer is really good in middle of summer. It is not wizardry, God told me to do so in my dreams.
Give me more gold, and you will have nice air-conditioning in your house. Because God told me how can I transfer power using lightling over distance.
This church is really hot as hell, and it needs ice cold air.

>wanting to be a barbarian over a Christian

Settle in somewhere, make money/feed myself by using what little first aid and medical knowledge I have (like simply washing my hands) to establish myself as a well-learned man

Get in the good graces of wealthy elites by showing off proof-of-concept steam engines.

Kickstart the industrial revolution so I don't have to spend the later half of my life shitting in a hole in the ground.

Call them oldfags, show them /b, and teach them how to shitpost.

Go tame all crows in the neighborhood.
Nobody will touch me, when I'm surrounded by murder of crows.

No 4G

>They don't speak modern language
I know Spanish, English, and some Latin, German. And very little Greek. I think it is not big deal, if I present myself as traveler.
> People are dying from cholera and ass worms.
I wash hands with my own piss and drink boiled water, while cooking meat (probably poultry, because it would be hard to steal a cow) above 80 C.
>What would you do?
I don't know. Go travel to spain, so I can prevent spics from migrating to USA.

Based.

󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡 󠛡

>wanting to be a bald headed sissy who refuses to have sex with women over a manly bearded viking hero who gets all the pussy he wants because he simply takes it

Fuck as many people as possible until I die of many many illnesses

I would rape you first

Nonono, Pablo.

I would just rape you mercilessly and shove your washed hands up my cholera infested booty

Si mamacita

No-no-no, culeado. Soy primero. Tu vas a нaхyй. Entiendo?
I should get fucking green card and it is my only opportunity.

Naked right now so yeah would be cold but shit send me somewhere in Northern-West Phfalia (Germany and I’m Gucci )
I can speak German and maybe with my English,Latin and German skills I can at least communicate to some degree.
I’d probably try to impress the ruler of "Kingdom" with my knowledge of Geography basic Inventions and easy shit like that health care,hygiene my bit of medical knowledge
What Timeline we speak of when you say Middle Ages?
Also probably trying to fuck a really smelly woman and hope for the best

Thank God Im just that

>What Timeline we speak of when you say Middle Ages?
1400 - 1500.

Nice Bioshock Infinite reference

No, it is reference to this copypaste. (I didn't played Bioshock Infinite, lol)

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Invent electric chair.

Well I’m gold send me to Solingen there should be a castle not that far away that I visited often and I know the history of that place and the families that owned it and almost all history around it so yeah try to befriend the current lord and just chill plus they speak basically the same language .
Turn the European men into the Jew and redpill them about genetics,eugenics and all that shit
Go fuck around with the pope a bit maybe
And give insight in military technology and tactics so we fuck the mudslimes and take the holy land back

Well I tried

Christian knights owned retarded barbarians of the west.
Christians are not only monks you loghead.

Give me a gun with unlimited ammo and a mp3 player with pumped up kicks in it.

Chad Templer Knight vs. nigger barbarian

I like you. This would be fun

So, since I have no money, I have to get some food.
Since I don't want to deal with cow or horse shit. I would go work for a blacksmith for food.
This will allow me to make steam engine.
Then I will make a car and dab on horsefuckers.

Probably die.

Give this to their local mechanical shop

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The Empire of Fukyaself

>be me, man of future with exquisite casual wear (comfortable hoodie, jeans, boots, etc)
>have evolved body whilst covered in bacteria
>bacteria of future
>unintentionally and intentionally kill peasants because of it
>round up the survivors to start my own evolved gene pool
>crude bio weapons to others
>take over by claiming to be a divine presence sent by god to kill the unclean and corrupted
>peasants buy it cause of big group of more advanced survivor peasants
>become powerful influencer
>start country
>instate strong government with a strong military
>change how science is seen
>god loves watching bill nye
>no vaccines though so must resort to killing off those with inferior genes
>my superior peasants grow egos
>the inferior are unworthy
>ohBoy.jpg
>those who dont fit the bill are unworthy
>rights are taken away
>waitASecond.png
>harassment is turned into full on physical attacks
>they suggest constructing camps to 'process' them
>realize I subconsciously started the Reich early
>meh, necessary evil for the advancement of humanity
>this continues for years
>no one really opposes us for having advanced medicine and technology
>achieve life-extending tech cause the pope does alchemy in his spare time
>live on for decades until I achieve my true goal
>fruit snacks are created
>chill in my office indulging in such delicacies
>choke to death cause my body continued to age even if I was alive
>mfw

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They will say "Instruction unclear, dick got stuck in cooking pot"

What exactly does installing a swastika into the shaft of your dick do again, fool?

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Penis fans

youtube.com/watch?v=BVxOb8-d7Ic

It makes is bigger and keeps jew away...
Penis is just to attract attention. It is steam engine, but turbine driven. Much easier to make, than classical piston engine.
First of all, they already know wind mill.
Second, it is easy to make out of copper or lead sheet, and they probably had those. Aluminium would be nicer though, but they don't have it, and steel will rust there instantly.

Also, I got gearing wrong on pic, please ignore that mistake. Large pulley is in the bottom.

Modern Knowledge, become a plague doctor, and work that 9 to 5 until I start my own private healthcare business, in which I get more plague doctors and teach them everything I know, then let the infestation of them spread, and should overpopulation happen? Give them back the diseases we could easily cure that'd kill people by the thousands.

>Oh, yeah, you missed plague train.

>tfw you didn't realize I became the Plague Train.

Survival of the fittest nigger

Lucky for me, I know how to speak a bit of Old English, so if I get transported to Wessex in 1020 AD, I'll be set.

Ye old faguet

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