I am 35 years old and I have not touched my anus with my bare hands before

I am 35 years old and I have not touched my anus with my bare hands before.

ama

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i have bare patches on my lawn that ive been overseeding but the birds keep eating the seed. how do i stop them from eating it

Not even on accident while wiping your ass?

Alka seltzer tablets covered in sweet brown gravy

Touch your anus.

i know what this does and just might do it anyway

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Or just sit reseed and sit out there with a pellet gun and pop the little faggots in their little faggot assholes

You need to bury them about an inch. Also keep a remote vibrator near the patches

nope

i was doing this for a few days until i already killed like 12 pigeons. These animals are little mini clinton supporters they just refuse to look out for their own good

Maybe grilled pigeon is good?

don't think so even my dog won't eat them

You could always leave bags of dead pigeons on peoples doorsteps that you don’t like. There’s a silver lining.

most people i live around are armed so you don't play that sort of game. I was tempted to weave them into my chain link fence but figured that would attract the wrong type of attention.

What i may do is take some .410 shot shells and jimmy rig them to a pull switch so they blow their heads off if anything for entertainment

Also a good idea.
Can you leave your dog in the yard to chase them off maybe?

only when i'm home because its considered animal at large if i'm not

Are you against chaining him up out there?

Will you ever finger your anus?

I do not see why I would.

I am currently on the can taki g a shit. How do you wadh your anus in the shower or bath, if not woth your bare fongers??

The Taki G onahole is mid tier, and depending on your foreskin status you want hard (cut) or soft (uncut) for maximum pleasure.

And washing anus has those plastic puffy things that make bubbles or I use a washcloth.

Never thought of using a washcloth, but that makes sense. Im embarrassed now