You're strolling on the beach, giggling and messing around with your girlfriend...

you're strolling on the beach, giggling and messing around with your girlfriend. You see a dark shadow looming over you from behind. you turn around and its pic related. He stares in your eyes and gives your girlfriend a resounding slap on her ass. wat do?

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I'd see the Monster in his hand, he'd hear me snicker and then beat the shit out of me.

Funny, he doesn't look bulletproof.

Oooooo ur hard arent ya!

I’ll pull my gun bitch HELL YEAH TEAM AMERICAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YEAH

Igor, is it you? I have recognized you with your shizoidal maneer of speech. Do you remember when your classmates piss in your cup, you was imbressed, but you drank it to the last drop and enjoy it a lot. What's up, Igoryan?

Act all surprised and confused. Then pick up a handful of sand, throw it directly in his eyes. Kick him in the groin a few times as hard as I can. When he inevitably falls down stomp his nose and then run with my girl

Autist, that would never work

Apologize, wait, then sneak on him and hit his head with a solid piece of metal to leave a big fucking dent in his skull.

Why not?

knock him out in one hit lol just cause they're bigger doesn't mean they have better fighting ability than me, you guys are just puccis

He's obviously wearing glasses, duh.

he is wearing sunglasses

Please, do explain why this is not a viable option

Kick in the tiny nuts. Sand in his eyes. The. Rape him and make him my bitch for life.

It would take way too much time to pick up the sand and throw it by which time his reflexes wouldve already covered his face or worse jumped on ya and beat the shit out of you
That shit only works when you take someone by surprise not when the dude is looking at u

Id kiss that nigga foshizzal

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Thats why you kick the nuts first

i bet you cant kick that high, the dude is 6'9

You better have a good aim boi

say that my gf isnt into fatfucks

I’d pull out my badge and arrest him for sexual assault. Enjoy being fucked in the ass by bubba and his buddies for the next 14 years.

>fix him with a sick leer
>pop or slash, lad?

I would stand in a ninjutsu mortal kombat stance from top to bottom in four punches. I would disable the monster. My super ultimate death defying maneuver would act like so. 4 punches same hand,side stance. Face for confusion ,throat for struggling breathing. ,sternum for balance, solar plexus for core chakra misalignment.

dubs dont lie

Punch him the jejunum

The Jejunum is a pretty important part for absorbing nutrients in to the bloodstream, via wikipedia. Or a punch to the liver and onions would work.

All of you would get your asses kicked

Tell him to kick rocks, if he tries anything go straight for his knees. Just becuase he's lifted to the point where he probably can't wipe his own ass doesn't mean he knows a fucking thing about fighting.

Hello officer, yes my girlfrend was just sexually harrased or assaulted at the beach and would like to press charges.
Take picture of the inevitable hand print for evidence.
File the police report and Go about our lives.

theres a video of him doing light sparring with mc gregor. search it up. as soon as he closes the distance you can clearly see that he could tear mcgregor apart if he wanted to. you dont get away from that monster if he grabs you

You forgot to say you'd Naruto run in a circle around him to confuse him, then pill your hand hammered katana from your butt-sheathe and poke him with it until he's tickled to death. Then you'd turn to your hug pillow, tip your fedora and say in a nasally whine... "M'lady".

I give him the best bj of his life, no questions asked

When his knee is bent the wrong way and he's laying on the ground screaming like a four year old who just shit his pants on the play ground I'm sure I'll get away just fine. Sparring with someone isnt a street fight. Knees, eyes, balls, all that shit is fair game.

in a certain body type range i completely agree but this is on another level. you have no idea of the dimensions here. at some point it just becomes very improbable to overcome the sheer strength and size of a guy who weighs the same as a large black bear

I'm at home on a computer beating my meat to anime. My fat incel ass wouldn't be caught dead on a beach with a girl.

Hahahhahahaha...ha

That guy? Assuming I'm not carrying my conceal carry? Just start swinging and maybe shoot for a single leg take down. He's not big enough compared to me for me to puss out. I'm 230 and do Jiu jitsu almost every day. I compete in heavy weight. If his cardio is shit, he will be gassed in less than 3 mintues. Big dudes who can't fight aren't my fear. My fear is a guy my size or bigger than also has been fighting for a decade.

I promise his wife is 10x hotter than my gf so I know this situation will never and that makes me sleep soundly at night

Slap mine daddy~