I just ate a whole watermelon, tried to cup a fart and accidentally shat on my hand. What is wrong with me?

Why the fuck were you cupping a fart?

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Cup a fart?

tfw i've actually never shit myself
how fucking retarded are you guys / how loose are your assholes

It was a mini melon, relax anons I'm not blek
Not at all, just very watery, smelled a bit like shit. Could have saved the underwear but they were already a bit old and was that one colour in these sets of three underwear packs that sucked.

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shit can happen

You're a copromaniac

Yeah.. a whole one is a bit much. Just eat the sweet centre and leave the bit closer to the rind as it tastes like cucumber anyway.

Can I ask why the kid in the pic is still wearing pants. Or does he shit so aggressively that he just tears them?

Sounds like your playing Scum irl...

eat your shit pussy