If you believe in god, I have a question

But if God doesn't exist, is your suffering all for nothing? What about all the people that willfully live in poverty hoping to reach the afterlife? What if our life on Earth is the only one we have and they're all just wasting it?

Okay, from the Christian standpoint God created the heavens and earth and is eternal. That about sums it up.

I live my life as if there is an afterlife but I know it can't be proven so I understand I could just be wasting my life but I literally can't choose to behave any other way

but what is God? a bearded man? what kind of life form is he? is he alive? is he a person?

There's no mention of God's appearance in the Bible. For all we know he doesn't have any corporeal form.

Perhaps he's just the ultimate order of the universe, the reason why everything works in the way that it does. That's my opinion.

so, nobody really knows... what do you think people are refering to when speaking about God?

the celestial being referenced in the bible mostly

so he is not alive and have no conscience

Yeah. He (or rather, "it") doesn't judge, or even think. It just gives structure to the universe.
Sin doesn't exist. Live your life.