Help me get laid Yea Forums. Dubs decide my first message

PLEASE BE HASTY

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong socks

man the harpoons

if you need help with that, then you're beyond help, son.

>Listen here you fucking bitch, if you don't reply in the next 5 minutes I will find you and I will fucking kill you.

fucking mad lad.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Lemme smash

Y’all have given me a lot of good options

yes hi hello i am sorry if i am coming on too strong but you see i have been out of the game for a while now. i do not mean to take out my pent up sexual frustration on you but i was wondering if you might do me a favor and describe your favorite bra to me. size, color, material, etc. bras are my fetish and it would do me good to hear of your favorite over the shoulder boulder holder. pls respond and god bless.

Do
Followed by
You got this one m8

Every fucking time

lets see it OP.

why do you want to get laid by some fat ugly chick?

send her a meme

bitches like memes

Wish me luck Yea Forums

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I'm rooting for you OP. hope you enjoy the titfuck

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This will not get you the slamhog

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Thar she blows.

its funny but i dno man i dont think shes guna reply hahaha

he already failed by asking how cheap,dont give these bitches a sense of entitlement.fuck them for free like the useless whores they deserve to be

bitches will do anything for the chance to make money though. especially if all they have to do is lay down and let you hump their tittie, maybe slap her a bit like a slab of spoiled honey ham

she's gonna crush your dick bro

Yea it’s definitely not gonna work but that was the first couple dubs in the thread so I had to keep my word.

She replied, dubs choose the next message

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give me those milkies wench

of course its serious! you know me i love a good rack

money nah - tit fuck yes

of course im serious,now bend over.my fist wants to go in your anus

“Jk. But you do seem to have fabulous breasts”

are you thick or somat

roll

Yes or no answer the question.

We can do it for free if u want.

those knockers look perfect for it.

This

no i wona marry you dinner?

actialy replied the madlad lmao

Of course I’m serious. I would also pay cash for pictures of your chest

how much money do you want to come and stamp on me

that's one big bitch. look how she pulls her pants above her massively overflowing muffin top, how is anybody attracted to that

LET ME SMASH

rolling

"half serious. I want the titfuck, but I won't be paying"

Do you wanna ask questions or do you wanna make some money?

HE GOT IT

fat bitches need to get fucked to

bapzoople. see if you can swing it for free.

Lol did I just dubz get?

damn,since i got trips you should post this op

the people who would tend to post these threads don't have much choice in the matter, she's probably a perfect match for op

Meow

reverse the order

Do you like my glasses?

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i leave them to their own kind: sir landwhales

>that generic ass bio
This girl is boring as hell but I bet she has no problems getting laid. OP you're a shoe in

You spelled moo wrong

Makes me wonder about the people who post in these threads saying shit like you. How far removed from pussy are they?

I like this reply

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lmao u killed it bro

NICEEEEEEE

i love theese threads they always make me laugh

>roofies

the choice is almost always there, just lazy faggots here.

Heh, top kek

you won't be able to get close enough to her tits due to that massive fucking fatass cellulite belly

good save

the best thing about fat women are their big ass tits.may i have a pic of your ma'am

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immagine getting that msg so hes super cheap or sorta funny LOL

This

Bump

”Nah but in all seriousness, you got a great body and I would be paying. So anyways, what’s up?”

fatbeard spotted

you really gonna drive 30 kilometers for this?

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Alright bros you know the drill

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You look like you need some dick, are you down to fuck

>802333522 (You) #
I like this reply

Hahah sick! I haven't had a get in many years. You're welcome bro

That's right you obese cunt. That's about all you have to offer.

"tell me what I have to do to get me some of that fiiiiiine pussy tang-tang"

I like this girl.

”Yeah, your body is great, but if you would want to do something else I’m in for it”

Well, there could be more if you ask nicely ;)

"I'd ask you out for dinner but you look like you've already had 4th meal. Up for dessert?"

pls

"Aren't you only here for some big dick?"

Thirsty

Apsie spotted. I don't think you understood my post.
Better read it again to make sure... Although if you are aspie you won't learn a fucking thing. It's a shame repetition doesn't help you here, of all places.

tell her
"I think you are very pretty and I would like to take you out for dinner"

>well wait, do you have toes too?

Reroll

>pussy tang-tang
yikes dude

>Nah, gonna be exploring that turd cutter of yours as well.

Tell her you're willing to exchange sex for food.

nah,after the tit fuck.id like to lube my fist and then insert it into your anus

winnar

Rolling

pls no

Shit if you pay me I'll fuck your pussy

If the drapes match the carpet wouldn’t mind seeing you suck start a shotgun.

Hahaha
I hope he says this to her

Winrar winrar

No bj thats for sure. Im afraid you would eat muh dick u fat bitch. We can talk about anal if interested

looks like repetition just gets you agitated
how often are you called a fat fuck in your day to day lmao

ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?!

Deliver op

Rolling for this. Fat ugly bitch.

Geez let that man breath u fuckin idiot

this

I want to go to red robin, and feast upon a blue cheese burger with extra cheese and crispy onion straws, 4 servings of bottomless steak fries with a side of campfire sauce and a double tall milkshake. I will refrain from any bowel movements for 3 days before I take my rightful throne upon your face. as I fuck your tits with my magnum dong, you will lick my asshole clean knowing full well the fate that is about to befall you. with a mighty roar I will cum, relaxing my sphincter and allowing a glorious turd to expel from my rectum and lovingly find a home on your face. you will thank me for this opportunity, and relish the moment you smears my red robin turd between your breasts. the mingling of the contents of my ballbag and intestines will be reminiscent of a melted klondike bar, just brown and white in perfect harmony. exactly as you dream of.

Reroll but without the emoticon

You seem really eager to pick up that ball and run with it. Maybe you'll get some exercise for a change.
Sorry I upset you with the aspie comment. I genuinely didn't realize it was so accurate.

Tit fuck and doggy style

I hate fuckin niggers

It's more like your titties get to be fucked by my dick.

Oh man she's so ugly she will definitely gobble your cock she's that desperate

I'd liquor this pig up and take her for a ride round the barn

I hope you don’t have sausage nipples that’s a deal breaker for me, do you think you can fit me in next Tuesday?

Op use this one instead of the bullshit first dubs

I'll clap them cheeks until I fuck the soul back into you soulless ginger fat beautiful bitch

STFU fag

Tit fuck and cowgirl

Op pussied out?

kek

you a damn fool if you don't use this OP

rolling for i wona creeme ur sister 2

Tit fuck and impregnation

Winrar

it's okay to be a chubby chaser bro you're the one putting a negative connotation on it, I was only stating the obvious that the people who post tinder threads on Yea Forums are probably fuckhuge too so it's okay if they go after fatties, perfectly balanced

retard nigger

Only if you want it to be

Tit fuck and anal

i want to take you out to a mexican resturant and have you diarrhea all over my chest you fat pig

*aspergic screeching*
Jeez calm down kid. Calling people fat on Yea Forums? Now that's what I call edgy

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There you go

Rollrollroll

This

is op kill?

Yup

maybe he's balls deep in this fat pigs cunt

This.

>hurr durr being fat isn't a bad thing.

Yes it is you fucking whale. Eat a salad

Confirmed

op is gone

Post op

This thread has the makings of greatness

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california roll

Triple Dubs

OP ATLEAST SHOW THE CHAT

poor op

Winrar

Robson and Jerome fell off, christ

Moo

who's gonna buy all the big macs and stimulate the economy then, smart guy? that's what I thought

MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOO

WIN

Opie san please post

tfw the thread was getting good and the op went fag mode

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Post this op

OP, wherever you are, I hope you got your titfuck

I’ll stick my dick in whatever hole you want. I’m not picky.

is does op have kill?? :(

not good friends, OPIE might be in the belly of the beast rn, sand help

OP realized how desperate and horny he was so he changed course and we're not gonna see shit

op does do has kill :(

yes bitch jesus you gotta reading problem?

........ You?
Are you missing something here m8?
The fuck?

real tough crowd, see u guys next week

OP POST THE CHAT ANYWAYS, EVEN IF YOU DIDNT CHOOSE OUR REPLY

he is gone dumbo

Bomb_whistle.wav

You fucking tanked bro.
Get some more practice here before you hit up the laugh factory or you'll just end it after the first time you get booed off.
Maybe you'll get used to heckling too. Lol

OP here, none of these replies are good, fuck the dub game ima just find a post that’s worthy of a reply to this big tit broad

well what else are you offering?

Rolling for Mel Gibson:
“You look like a fucking pig in heat and if you get raped by a pack of niggers it’ll be your fault.”

Post the fucking conversation. If she's wet for it you owe us

this

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have you not witnessed

Rerolling for Mel:
“I’m going to come burn down the house but you will fucking blow me first.”

Sure, no dubs, choose whichever, it’s a big world

100% prostitute

priming for tittenwank, you dumb niggress

reaks of thot.

What's cooking good looking.

this was getting good, we need another user to start a new chat and pick up where op left off

And now this faggot here

ye theese threads are gold

big milky mami gf

This bro had a good answer. I’m not much into fat chicks but I’m down to raw dog her fat fucking tits and he’s got the best answer to do so

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im gonna give u some cummies :)

kekd

oh for fuck's sake.

i dont think people normally meet up for justa titfuk hombre

Rerolling for Mel:
“The jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?”

titfuck and impregnate

Get us a pic of the milkers op! Bring it home!

whale

hahaha roling for any mel gibson quote ever

Roll op

pls respond and god bless

You fucked it up, you reverse to boring beta male with that answer gg

Rolling

cringe you ruined it. Retard

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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It's not over, depending on how he plays it he can bring it back once or twice yet.

Earn the trust of a whale and they remember you for life....or is that elephants? Idk

At least now he can pay for two soy lattes and not stick it in.

beta retard

Fucking beta cuck response game over gg.

On the other hand I believe this fat pig whore is desperate enough that she will gobble your cock regardless

if they did meet he would be a beta anyway, so why not pull the ol reversal now

All other replies were retarded, y’all need some better material

Let’s hope she buys it

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Roll
>Wanna go to McDonalds?

winrar

this is how you know these faggots aren't able to fuck women. let alone samefagging possibly.

GOT DUBS YOU GOTTA USE IT BRO

“I am politically incorrect, that’s true. Political correctness to me is just intellectual terrorism. I find that really scary, and I won’t be intimidated into changing my mind. Everyone isn’t going to love you all the time.” u dropped the ball on this 1 op

kek
op please do this one

Walrus actually

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It’s ok op you’re doing fine.
More good replies for op now irrespective of dubs.

I can't fucking believe I got dubs, it would really make my day if OP uses it

NO DUBS REQUIRED, JUST GOOD REPLIES

“I don’t make things complicated, that’s the way they get all by themselves.”

Nigga what you think is retarded is actually original and different, how many thirsty fags you think this whale text everyday hearing the same shit.

I just want you for your personalities mlady

OP not following the rules, suck a nigger dick you fucking faggot

ABANDON.

I’ve been struck by yellow fever lately and I’m thinking those tits are the perfect cure.

This

Let’s see the tits

We are abandoning, OP is being a faggot. Post dubs or we leave now!

Calm your tits

Wouldn't that be the fucking day.

Relax your balls

Thiss

yes master, tell us to leave and we shall obey

I have a gf

She reply to or nah?

Faggots if I get dubs now, we leave immediately. Agreed?
>roll

Tis here

It’s almost been half an hour and still no reply, so I’m posting another picture from her profile since y’all keep asking

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Alright then, roll.

This has been great so far. But need updates to think of suggestions

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More than likely she dumped the conversation and moved on. Tinder for you.

Moar

Guess we're staying cause my roll was shit

Find her insta and link it

you need to get a pic of those fat titties and post em

i would

Oh wow m'lady it seems my chaps have gotten ahold of my phone and changed the words "delightful conversation" to "titty fuck," my apologies

My god she is fucking ugly

Kek

post them all you faggot

shit.

bra size?

as much as it hurts me ur last message was the least funny and most cringe bro q-q

If she doesn’t reply within the next half an hour I’m posting this

Moarr

maximum cringe

"How much do I have to pay you to pretend to be my mommy in public?"

Moardor

what kind of cuck wants to have "delightful conservsations"with women instead of sticking your dick in their ass's?

Nut up and go for next set of dubs.

Ky

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2 kfc family buckets

FAGGOTS LETS LEAVE THE THREAD!

Give me place to stand and I’ll move the earth with a lever.

Ok Yea Forums I just realized I’ve cucked myself after that last reply... any way of saving the conversation?

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god no user, dont fuck the fat chick man

People in the hq are on the observation op, hold your ground.

Bro you killed it. You seemed alpha, and she was interested. Then you gave her the weakest message ever and she was like "ohhhh he IS beta. Now the profile pic makes sense" and she bailed.

Bro you in ohio? I went to highschool with that bitch

Holy, big breasts

just double down tell here u wona fuk get to the point lmao an eather stop wastin ur time or fuk here rofl or do it for the lulz and post dubs

you fucking loser, I knew your last message would come out as a disaster. you faggot, even human whales won't look at your direction.

Or a tit fuck and impregnation

Listen to dubs and faith will determine how to save the conversation. Have trust in the anons.

she's probably just nervous famalamadingdong

this bitch probably weighs 50lbs more than you do, buy a gym membership

>as much as it hurts me ur last message was the least funny and most cringe bro q-q
>Bro you killed it. You seemed alpha, and she was interested. Then you gave her the weakest message ever and she was like "ohhhh he IS beta. Now the profile pic makes sense" and she bailed.
This

No, bro. She's bailed. Way to beta yourself. Notice how she was interested when you were being alpha?

BTW I was the guy who gave you the 'not paying' message.

look at those fuckin sausage fingers

Roll
>You free tonight?

Agreed. OP needs to commit to the dubs.

Icarus

“ or I could slam you until you reach the 4th dimension “

Op needs to an hero after that betacuck debacle of a message. The guy who suggested it should too lol

THIS

Follow up with something like

"I mean im all up to pound you into a sub drop... If you can handle that"

“On another tone, I could pound your pussy till you crack”

> or I could slam you until you reach the 4th dimension

This COULD save it.

Dubs have spoken

Look, point is, you look like you can use a good hard fucking, and that body of yours looks it can take all of it, so when are we meeting up tonight?

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“Hey, I’m for love, not war. How about we have a beer?” – Mel Gibson send the quote marks but not ml gibson

this

Dubs .

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him

Either of these

This is honestly the best line I've read so far, and it happens to be dubs. You gotta do it OP.

"Just tell me straight up. Do you like getting your tits slapped around r naw?"

And op shall be back on the path to ranga pussy.

mel gibson is a racist jew,fuck that kike

Just to elaborate... You have to pose some kind of challenge for these sluts OP. Doubting if they could handle you. Saying they look too innocent and that you'd ruin them.

Girls are dumb enough to trick into fucking you. If you keep seeking her validation you won't get anywhere. She needs to be seeking yours.

Tell her you want to suction out her arm fat and use it to make soap and then use that soap to lather up her fat tits and fuck them. Do it!

What say op?

i want to cover you in bacon grease and then you eat you out like an easter ham

Send her something sexy in braille.

Don't write this, is probably written by the faggot that sent that failure of a msg. Also follow the rules only dubs

sum1 dosent get enough pussy

Dubs have spoken op