How do you know when to settle with a relationship?

How do you know when to settle with a relationship?

im a 28 year old female, i've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a child together.

i find the relationship a bit boring and when i go out i get hit on a few times and etch time it feels like its getting more and more tempting.

i love and respect my boyfriend so i wouldnt cheat on him.
but our relationship has just turned into taking care of the kid and the moment the kid goes asleep we're off to do our own thing and hardly socialize.

He talks about having another kid and getting married but im unsure of what i want in life.

what do

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You're a whore and should take the child as your own and not make him pay child support. Isn't weird that it's a problem that he isn't making the effort? Ever think maybe you could do something? Instead of considering breaking up a family. But hey bitch, it's all on you. Creat another broken home for a child or brainwash them into hating daddy. Regardless of you're choice you're a useless whore. If I found out my gf ever had thoughts like this I'd drop her instantly. Wasting 6 years of this man's life

Ur selfish and only think of yourself ... your focus shohld be on ur kid ... grow up

Don't cheat it'll ruin your name forever. What you should do is when the kid goes to sleep go and do stuff with the guy. don't have to be sexual or anything like that, but just have fun together, watch a movie or something but just do something together that might bond the both of you better. if your boyfriend isn't trying to fix the relationship it might be because he doesn't know how to, so start trying yourself.
Talk to him about your problems instead of just keeping them.

that when you go open relationship or divorce..
that was not hard...

I take great care of my child. my child is everything to me. I dont go out often, maybe once or twice a month.

If me and my boyfriend where to break up I wouldnt accept child support from him, I'd definetly make sure he and our child had quality time together and their relationship is something i've always focused on. For example when she was just a tiny baby everytime she was getting more attached to me i'd make the two of them take a day off together so she wouldnt grow distant from him.

My parents arent together and i have no relationship with my own dad and a bad one with my mother so i have always stayed clear of being like them.

I have definitely made effort with the relationship and im not giving up on it. But i am saying im tempted

Have you ever considered...talking to Him about it? A little communication, eh?

Thank you, this is the best advice so far.

I definitely would never cheat on him but i do find it hard to tell him that my eyes are starting to wander off a little bit.

We have had a few date nights and that has definitely helped but they are few and far between

It happens to every couple.

Women these days always talk about how there child means everything to them ... but then turn around and break up tue family because ... he doesnt pay enough attention to me ... or im bored.. selfish .. ever try just talking to him ... he is talking about having a bigger family and getti g married and all u care about is urself

Go out and cheat on him after all that? Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine finding out that your girl of 6 years who you were going to propose to cheated on you because she wanted to feel special? Imagine if he did that you you instead?
I hope you do cheat lol. I just really hope he kills you for it.

You settled about 6 years ago? Or at least when you decided not to abort your child. You question confuses me. You realize marriage is nothing more than paperwork right?

>not breaking up the family, at least not yet.
Sounds like ur still consideeing it

>there isnt a single person on my side of the family thats married so maybe just the idea of commitment like that is just too foreign to me.

So because u scared ur going ro make him and ur child suffer ... ok say u do leave him then what with the next man ... 6 more years then leave him as well ...

>I'm definitely not blaming my boyfriend for the relationship growing stale. It just happens.
>He is a great guy and i want whats best for him

Such a cop out u ha e no idea wbats best for him . you dont even know whats best for urself

Thank you thats good advice.

If i'd find myself tempted enough to cheat i would of course break up the relationship before doing so because i would never cheat on him.

i've been trying to get him to have more days off because i do think he is over worked.

she is the one with the hang up not him... he is committed to her and the family

Whether it's with this guy, the next guy, or 20 guys from now, you will end up in the same relationship as the one you are with now.
Men hit on women all the time. We want to stick our dicks in everything, all the time. This is not unusual or special.
Do with it what you will, but my advice is to stick it out where you are, where you have a kid. He is being a dad and sticking with you, and the kid.
You think the next exciting and tempting new guy will do the same?

actually im such a fat piece of shit that i didnt know i was pregnant until 4 months into the pregnancy and at that point its illegal to abort in my country. Also was on the pill.

I dont regret having her though and im greatful he's the father because he is a great person.

No one takes advice from a cuck.

yeah it is true that i have no idea whats best for myself or anyone else.

therefor im seeking advice

>If i'd find myself tempted enough to cheat i would of course break up the relationship before doing so because i would never cheat on him.

Easy to say untill the actual situation come along

>i've been trying to get him to have more days off because i do think he is over worked.

So let me get this stright. He busts his ass to provide for the family wants to marry u and have kids but because he doesnt give u as much attention as he did when u first met now u want to leave him.

Guess we found the problem. Lose weight you disgusting fat beast and maybe he won't be paying attention to the girls on his phone. Fucking hambeasts

you're definitely right.

i have a full time job aswell and we split all the bills straight down the middle. So this extra money he's getting for his extra days is not going into the family but more material things for himself.

>im just contemplating if the relationship is going to last or not.
bitch that's on you. you're the one who wants to ruin it. And you're worried about committing to marriage, you're already had the bastard child.

OP, do you suffer from brain rot? What are you even asking? You’ve long ago “settled” when you entered into a monogamous relationship and had a kid. Marriage won’t change your life in any significant way, except for having a ring on your finger. Not sure how you conceptualize these concepts I’m your own mind, but you are very much settled.

What I think you really wanted to ask is this “Should I leave my long term partner and try to find someone else? We already have a kid, and he wants another one. Our relationship has grown a little boring but evidentially not that bad?”

Look, even with an incredible partner things will become stale. Thats just a fact of life. You need to decide if they are worth building the rest of your life with. You can’t chase the fleeting and intense feelings of a new relationship over and over again. You have a kid now, your goal is stability. If you honestly believe you can do better with another man, and that you don’t see your current relationship working out in the long term, then break up. The kid wont be healthy growing up with parents who don’t love each other, so its better to pull off that bandaid ASAP. But if you are just growing a little bored, hunny thats just adulthood. You need to acknowledge that things will never be exciting like they used to be. That goes for relationships, food, and all sorts of formerly fun things. Accept that fact, and then analyze your life. Make some hard realistic decisions about what you want in the future for yourself and your child. But don’t be stupid. Don’t ruin something good simply out of naivety. Think about it, agonize over it, make your decision, and then accept it. But i will tell you this, all relationships are more or less the same after a while. If your man is decent, its rarely worth leaving.

haha

he isnt looking at girls on his phone or internet though.

People forget swingers exist. This new cuck fad is just temporary. Swingers have been around since the beginning of time.

>spice up the relationship and start swinging. start soft so either fuck in the same room as the other couple or just swap when getting head. by the sounds of it you want another dick to spice things up.

Well spoken, you're definitely right.

i will have a talk with him and maybe see a relationship counselor

Women don't want to be house wives anymore but what they don't realize is that they'll eventually will end up back to step 1 with a person worse than the one they had.
>Wife of 4 years left because she didn't want the housewife routine
It hurts what she did but then again im free as well and shes always been a bit dumb to realize anything

True, but the post I replied to was talking open relationship. Swinging wasn't mentioned.
In an open relationship, both are able to fuck who they want when they want.
And we all know that the most average chick will score far more guys than a good looking guy will score girls.

That isn't the same as permission to cheat. That's him trusting you when you go out without him. Obviously he has misplaced that trust, as you are getting "more and more tempted".

You don’t need a relationship counselor. You need a personal therapist. Its not his fault that you have internal problems with accepting the reality of life. Don’t drag him into your own personal therapy unless the therapist thinks its appropriate.

yeah you're right

thank you

You should cheat on him a few times. See how it makes you feel. Just keep it a secret, if you decide to stay.

Tits or GTFO

Just suck some random niggers dick.

Wow OP don't listen to this guy, jesus christ. Talk about short fuse and unstable.

Go on OkCupid and find you a Sugar Daddy. You got that golden pussy for only a few more years. Better Trade up now before it's too late.

You can do better OP, drop that scrub like a bad habit.

user is right, you could really use someone to talk about this to alone.

Better try hard drugs now too. You're running out of time to be young and free. Don't worry about the kid. Sounds like BF got that shit taken care of just fine. Have you ever snorted cocaine off of a rock solid big black cock while getting railed from behind by some random person from the club? Now is the time to live life.

yeah definitely.

i've never been to a therapist before but i've got a few issues i need to address to someone.

actually when i was 18-21 i used to do some drugs, but im over that.

plus no way i'd become a druggie mom shit thats the worst

Parents splitting up doesn't have to be a childhood-ruining experience like some people here are implying. It's clear that their parents did it wrong, but you don't have to. However, if you feel deep down that your child needs you and the father in the same household no matter what then maybe staying together is the right decision, at least for now. That being said, I feel like no matter what you choose to do about splitting up/staying together, your significant other has the right to know that this sort of thing is occupying your mind. It's not fair that he thinks everything is going great and wants to have another kid and get married, but you're here wondering whether you want to be with him at all. And you don't have to approach it by saying "I've been thinking about splitting up", you can tell him that you don't like how distant the two of you have become and you'd like to spend more time together and actually enjoy the fact that you're together. Do something you both like, try a new or unfamiliar experience together, explore and enjoy. Surely there's a reason you two got together in the first place, tell him you want to bring that feeling back. There are a lot of ways to go in a scenario like this and it all depends on the intricacies of your relationship and beliefs. In the end, the route that feels the most "right" might not be right, but the route that feels the least "wrong" is right

You should invite dudes over while hubby is at work and fuck them on the floor in front of your child

Yeah, military wives do that all the time, such whores.

Life is boring without drugs. Don't you miss partying?

>we have a child together
wait the little faggot be adult and leave

yeah you're right.

We definitely need to try rekindle the relationship and maybe go on a vacation together or something.

when we started dating he was in two metal bands and it was a lot of fun. he quit both of them when i was pregnant and so he distant himself from his friends by doing that. And i do think that that wasnt healthy for him. I did manage to urge him to keep in good contact with his friends. Now he just joined a new band and they are going to be touring so hopefully it will refresh him

Cheating is definitely the way to go here. If you don't fuck up, you can get away with it for years.

This is the worst place from which you should ask for that kind of advice.

dont do it, my parent did that and it was horrible

i dont miss drugs at all

but i do miss partying

Fuck his band mates.

i just needed a place to be completely user.
been to b for ages so i take every post with a grain of salt

Nah. You're ruining the way I want to do things.

Go be a bbc whore, its clear your world view will keep you on the hedonic treadmill forever... so might as well get fucked by big dicks and have visceral fun with your meaningless shit life

Put kid up for adoption. Then you can party all you want with or without bf. Sound like it's your kid you resent not bf. He probably has no legal rights to your daughter at all. Just drop her off at the nearest orphanage. Then you will be Free to stay up late and drink the nights away like you used to with all the hard bodies from the club.

obviously if i had to choose between partying and being with my daughter i'd always choose my daughter

im not a monster

FYI OP you're a terrible person

i know

how do i stop

>Have a kid out of wedlock
How about you put some effort into the the relationship instead of sitting around and complaining until you can't keep your legs shut anymore? You sound like you're already thinking about cheating. You are a terrible person. Not only that, but you're setting an awful example for the child -- and the child WILL find out. Not only are you a failure as a girlfriend for thinking this way to begin with, you are also a failure as a mother. Congratulations! The good news, it's simple (in theory) to fix -- just PUT IN EFFORT when it comes to the relationship, HAVE SOME WILLPOWER, and stop your FUCKING EYES FROM WANDERING. Also, stop being so fucking selfish. There are three entities in a relationship: The female, the male, and the couple itself. The couple is a separate unit. It is 50% your duty to make it work. If it is failing, at least half of the failure is immediately your fault. Do your part. It's irrelevant what he is or is not doing until you are doing your full part.

You can't stop. It's your nature. Best you can do is try to cheat and not get caught.

You need to pick up some books or something on how relationships work and how to be a good person. Do not fucking cheat. The fact that you are considering cheating and/or breaking up a family shows you are already failing. If you weren't ready for this, why did you have (and keep) a child? That's a rhetorical question: The answer is because you are an idiot.

Has he or is he currently showing any signs of depression? Completely dropping hobbies or lifestyles and isolating oneself can be both signs and contributors to depression (take it from a guy who basically lives in his bedroom and barely says a word to his family and best friends). If there is some depression involved it might also be a factor in the state of your relationship. If not then nvm, just a thought.

If you break up and share custody, then you will have a lot more free time to let your freak flag fly.

Don't listen to . You can change anything you want to. And you will. Or you will end up a failure as a mother. The truly successful - the kind of successful that matters - do not cheat.

you should stop listening to people in this thread. going to therapy was the only good advice

How many men have you been with OP?

He keeps in good contact with his family and he isnt isolated from his friends anymore.

He said that he was just burned out from the music buisness at the time

All people hat there parents for one reason or another. Might as well have fun now while you're still kinda young. You can do all that PTA mother of the year bullshit later. Now is the time to fuck random sexy dudes.

>my parent
your parent, not you

He sounds like a loser. You can do better.

13

Institute a weekly date night. It'll give you both a chance to reconnect, and it'll be something fun to look forward to each week.

Is there anyone who can watch your child like a babysitter, grandparents, etc? If so, set that up asap. Good luck.

SLUT gonna do what a SLUT gonna do. He'll understand in the long run OP

lol your husband even stopped his childish meta music hobby and you still don’t like him? He sounds very responsible. He has grown into a productive member of society and you just want your fat pussy stuff with nigger dicks wow

lol Shut up dude

Do you really want that to be your final number. We are living in the age of Tinder. You can double that number in less than a week. And he never has to know.

You will go through the same phase with any guy, eventually it gets boring, always fun in the beginning

selfish woman. you dont deserve life. think of your child you made the choice to have the kid. do you know the profoundly fucked up shit that happens in the kids mind when mommy and daddy dont love eachother? you want my advice? take responsibility for the situation you put yourself in and do something selfless

no you have to stop being a selfish cunt and deal with it.

Having a child.
Having fun in life.

Pick one.

This is why I got a vasectomy at 21. 12 years with my wife. No kids. Lots more money. Lots more time. What you don't realize is you've already settled. Having the kid is your settlement. Run away from that and you're a bad GF, a bad mother, and a generally bad person. Should of thought before you spread your legs. Shame on you.

You not a bad person OP. Do what makes you happy.

Said someone equally as shameful

Wow, so instead of thinking about adjusting things with your husband by hanging out more and doing more activities your first thought is cheating on him?

I'm unable to assist you OP until you post your time-stamped titties

try kys faggot

Actual advice here:

Don’t settle with him. Talk about your feelings on the matter. Say to him what your heart is saying to yourself, that “the relationship isn’t as satisfying as it used to be,” and that you want to work on making it more fruitful. If you really and truly love this man enough to have a child with him, then you should be honest with your feelings about the relationship. Try spicing life up a little bit. Go and do things. Take an extra day off of work. It really does help, in the long run.

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finally somebody based shows up. When did Yea Forums turn into some faggy little r/relationships hugbox?

So this has been copy pasta now for a week.
Does the OP ever actually reply?

Dubs!
See pic

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No

Hey look another broken household. Pathetic.

Go fuck a nigger or something