Do we even really need to wipe? I was in the john at work yesterday and I took a dump. I then noticed we were out of toilet paper and I was too embarrassed to turtle walk and explain my situation to the janitor, so I just...got up, zipped up, and carried on with my day. Took a shower when I got home, blasted it all off with the stretch nozzle. Never had to touch it myself.
The thing is, nobody said a word. All my co-workers just carried on, blissfully ignorant, while I walked around with some secret under my pants. Because that's what it was. What, they're going to be smelling my butt like a dog? Nobody's the wiser.
So when did we get this idea that fecal matter on our hands, the hands we eat with, shake and high five, scratch our faces with, was preferable to fecal matter around our anus? I really don't mind if I have a dirty spincter under two layers of clothes. Much better than getting crap on my hand, under my fingernails, etc., if you think about it.
You wipe with toilet paper downy, not your bare fucking hand. If you get shit on your hand it's either because you're too fat to wipe properly or you're doing it wrong.
Is it normal to get shit on your hands when you wipe? This doesnt happen to me.
Jace Wood
Honestly, no. Why should I? I mean it's not like I'll die from not washing my hands. Of course it i get shit on my hands I'll wash it off like any person.
Jose James
Yeah okay, but what if the toilet paper isn't thick enough? Everyone has gotten shit on their hands at some point from wiping.
Caleb Scott
You could easily get shit on the hand when wiping though. It's right next to your anus so why couldn't it?
Bentley Harris
Never happens to me. Id have to guess that this probably isnt a common, maybe your technique is off, maybe you are too fat, or maybe you just have autism.
Grayson Young
>Much better than getting crap on my hand, under my fingernails, etc
how the fuck do you get crap under your fingernails jesus christ
Ian Gonzalez
I'm 152 lbs.
Nicholas Young
I MeAn It'S nOt LiKe IlL dIe FrOm nOt WaShInG My HaNdS
Brandon Turner
Yeah so what?
Matthew Hill
no its fucking icky
Samuel Taylor
I wear the same clothes a lot so no I'm not about to walk around with shit crusted layering in my pants
Tyler Butler
Yeah that's kinda worse than my ass having shit crust in it, i believe. Just my opinion. You where the same gross clothes every day? Now i feel better about my thing.
Leo Powell
you think sweat and dead skin cells are more repugnant than walking around with shit on your body like a kindergartener? the fuck? user, seek mental help.
Landon Anderson
Okay but that doesn't make sense fag. How is dead akin cells and all of that shit worse than a little bit of shit still in my ass, like barely at all?
Liam Miller
read what you just typed. >How is dead akin cells and all of that shit worse than a little bit of shit still in my ass I'm saying the shit is worse, you fucking illiterate autist.
you're just rationalizing user, nothing you're saying has any validity. because you have the discipline of a small child who doesn't understand hygiene.
Henry Perez
>Do we even really need to wipe? Of course, you fucking neanderthal.
Okay well you're still a fag and i don't think it's bad to have just a little tad bit of shit in my ass.
Jason Bell
Okay well can you explain why? Or maybe how not wiping is really that fucking bad? I don't see how it's that terrible to everyone. Plus no one even knew about it at work.
Nolan Brooks
>you're just rationalizing user, nothing you're saying has any validity.
>because you have the discipline of a small child who doesn't understand hygiene.
Jaxon Jackson
Nobody at work noticed any smell or anything.
Brayden Diaz
user makes a pretty good point about which parts of your body you need to keep clean. I don't want crap going anywhere near my hands, even if there is a thin, easily breakable layer of toilet paper between it. Why risk it?
So really, can anyone answer what is so bad about having poop IN your butt? Just a tiny bit around the anus? Why does our society obsess over the need for a clean anus?
Jordan Nguyen
That's exactly what I'm saying. What's wrong with just a little tiny bit of shit on my asshole?
Jason Campbell
My ass hair is super thick so it's like shitting through a cheese grater so in my case, yes i need to wipe. A lot
Justin Cook
You're one of those fucks that smells like shit. Everyone notices, they just don't say anything.
Okay why the fuck didn't they say anything then gaylord?
Hunter Long
Social graces
Also people want to keep their asshole clean because people have sex (something you don't know about) and dirty assholes during sex isn't fun
Lucas Walker
uhh, or if they did, they didn't feel it was necessary to say >hey user, did you wipe? you smell like shit.
ffs you're a giblet
Leo Lopez
Tell me about your shower, OP. So you have one of those sort of detachable head things that lets you maneuver around, spray wherever you want? That must be convenient, and feel really nice at the end of the day when you're spraying it all off.
Ian Moore
Calling bullshit. In the (paraphrased) words of George Carlin: "What's with people washing their god damn hands all the time? You know when I was my hands? When I get shit on them. How often does that happen? Maybe once a week."
If you're not getting shit on your hand at least once a week, then you've probably got some sort of autism.
Caleb Roberts
the funny thing is, opthis is more literal than you think. when you stop wiping your fat stupid ass, that bacteria you don't see is going to wreak havoc on your brain, your oral cavity and your throat once you pick your nose and eat your boogers enough (we know you do)
literally giving yourself early onset parkinsons if you don't practice good hygiene relating to fecal matter. we've known this shit for a long time
Ryder James
Well one time I forgot to wipe cause a fire alarm went off so I had poopybutthole disease and that shit made my asshole all itchy and rashy my wife had to put asshole cream on it to go away
Chase Allen
Try psyllium fiber and never wipe again.
Joseph Cox
You won't die, but your cancer patient coworker might, asshole.
Carson Turner
Oh they knew. They knew you didnt wipe and were disgusted but since they didnt want to embarrass you they kept silent. But everyone at your work knows you didnt wipe your ass and you smelt like a bum for the remainder of the day.
Alexander Davis
Of course you need to wipe you fucking dumbass absolute mongoloid you pathetic exuse for a life form the fungus growing in a hobos anus is smarter than you get out if my sight before I demolish you
Matthew Collins
Must be pretty embarrassing for a teacher to walk around like that.
Cooper Rodriguez
Okay seriously though. Did you all forget that an asshole can be washed?
Oliver Garcia
What if you wipe your ass correctly and eat your boogers?
Brayden Lopez
Exactly. They're acting like you're going to bed like that.
Christopher Hill
you only need 4 sheets anyway: - pre clean - main clean - fine clean - polish
pros can even accomplish that same result with 2 sheets, by turning them over
also, all trolling aside, eat more fibers and it just plops out and you're done. or have a sixxfag at hand that licks everything up
Juan Powell
You know OP after so many years of wiping, I seem to have managed to perfect the art enough to the point where the chances of getting feces on my hand, fingers or under my fingernails or wherever else is very slim. Maybe once a year or less. Apart from that after you go to the loo you wash your hands, that’s just common hygeine.
Therefore I think you are retarded OP, and thus cannot understand why we must clean ourselves after poo poo.
Jaxon Martin
>if you dont get shit on your hands when you wipe once a week you must have autism Yeah I think ill stay autistic then
Oliver Johnson
Okay, you've managed to wipe without getting your hands too dirty, but you still haven't answered why it's so necessary in the first place? What's so important about having a presentable anus? I mean, if you have a date, sure, but just walking around? Why's that such a priority?
Alexander Rogers
>common hygiene
what about preventable disease do you not get?
Tyler Carter
To not smell like shit and feel comfortable? Although the latter doesn’t seem to apply to you.
Carson Hall
That sounds like a strerch, user. I've had to scrub my ass a lot
Carson Ramirez
>
>Poop in the place where poop is for a couple of extra hours >Disease
Caleb Davis
The virgin ass crapper never even responded back. LMAAAOO I’m dyin fam
Sebastian Gutierrez
poop is in your colon. other than you, only homeless people have shit on their asses normally
Elijah Taylor
Hey, for all you know he's with an open-minded woman who looks like Jennifer Connelly and isn't so judgmental. Being intimate with her after he showers.
Anthony Hernandez
Okay OP here, if i were to have sex I'd clean my ass up before i even talk to a girl. Besides i like escorts anyway. What's the big deal.
Kevin Price
Come on, man. You can do better than escorts. You don't think Paul Bettany wipes?
Josiah Cooper
I've been wiping my ass for 32 years and I've never gotten shit under my fingernails
What the hell is wrong with you
James Harris
What the hell do you wipe with, a wrench? Do you wear rubber gloves? It's not that hard to figure out. Toilet paper is really thin, Dr. Robotnik over here.
Leo Edwards
>wipe with maximum force, user >ALWAYS USE MAXIMUM FORCE
Samuel Nguyen
How?
Owen Stewart
Yes we need to wipe retard >work in heat >sweat and get swampass >instead of having ball soup you now have ball shit soup