The first day of college, she was still in grief mode from the abortion...crying all day, buying baby clothes for the child she lost (she was only 8 weeks along), and then eventually turning on me and being physically violent. She cursed me out every day in front of the people in our dorms, embarrassing me and ruining my chance to overcome years of bullying and form a tight-knit group of friends. I never forgave her for it. I used it as a crutch to excuse all my shitty behavior, mixed in with just a lack of desire to go forward in life because of ruining it for fucking nothing.
Alexander Reed
yeah sounds like a person who can't confront their own problems
you've suffered some crazy abuse
any way you can avoid her entirely? or do you have to keep in touch because of parenting the daughter?
Josiah Howard
You answered it. I'm a fucking moron. 0.5 mg of Clonazepam prescribed to me, I thought it was the greatest fucking thing on earth. Of course nobody told me about how you could become physiologically addicted to it, and now I still take it once a day even though it stopped working years ago.
Easton Wright
I have to keep in touch because of co-parenting. But I blame myself too. We've been friends on and off for the last few years, sometimes it's been great for weeks at a time and I forget why we even fought in the first place. Then something happens---usually she and her husband have a savage fight, her mood changes, and she takes it all out on me. And I completely act shocked as to why this happens again.
I hate to admit it, but all the shit she's done to me aside, if she died, I'd probably kill myself. I've lost a sibling. I would mourn for her 100 times more than that sibling, and I hate myself for it.
Joseph Rogers
Of course it's an existential crisis. But how do I come to terms with my existence when I'm financially and emotionally gutted every second of the day?
Eli Watson
sounds like there's a problem inside yourself you're using her to cover for
honestly there's nothing you can do to make her better, you just have to work on yourself - and maybe fix things with your daughter
do you have any other friends? I hope she's not your only support
Jackson Gray
Whoever is still prescribing it to you should lose his license
Jordan Butler
Yes. I hate that I met her at such a formative time of my life. She's the person I blame constantly for my shitty life and then the first person I call when shit goes wrong. You can repeat "there's nothing you can do" over and over, but I'm gonna need a fucking tranquilizer if all of a sudden I can't see her again and I know she's suffering with her piece of shit husband. My daughter and I are good now, luckily a lot of my shit happened before she was able to form memories. She can still tell I'm checked out occasionally but seems to accept me for who I am, and I meet the basic responsibilities.
I have friends, but I try not to get too close to them. Maybe it's the autism thing, but I'm also just scared of driving away people because I'll eventually retreat into hopelessness and want no social contact with anyone.
Logan Rodriguez
It's been prescribed by two psychiatrists and my current nurse practitioner. She agrees that it'll only be a good idea to taper off when I'm at a "good point in my life". I think she's right, because even the slowest taper has made me want to slit my wrists. The anxiety, flashbacks, PTSD just stops me in my tracks no matter what I do. It's easy to say I'll rely on the support I have, but I never know how bad it is until that withdrawal hits.
But I agree. Fuck the person who prescribed it to me.
Andrew Rivera
Goddamn dude you're making me feel better about my own shitty life, so thanks for that?
