It's time for late nite chats again Yea Forums

It's time for late nite chats again Yea Forums
Tell us what's on your mind, how you feel in life. Why you are up so late. What answers do you need. Bog boy only big boi talks here. Make it deep.

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I think I'm on the autism spectrum, but can't say for sure.

I want to die but will never have the balls to do it

I'm up late trying to channel my creative flow but really just smoking weed and wasting time.

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I had a passing thought that consciousness is little more than the continuatiom of conversation/communication away from other humans.
Due to you building language from text or interactions with other humans, you are limited to the words within your vocabulary, meaning you're limited by the amount of exposure you've had to communication whether that be via text or voice.
This means that, despite being yours, your thoughts are rarely constructed outside of the words and thoughts of others. An internal collage of all conversations you've had.
This of course means your internal monologue is little more than a conversation with yourself through everyone you've interacted with (whether directly, or through a medium of text) previously.
This would also mean that the idea of a "Human Consciousness" that exists between all humans is, what I call, "The Conversation," which is an amalgamation/summation of all conversations (both internal and external) all humans are having.
[This worries me, because, if true, "The Conversation" has a fundemental effect on the direction we as a species move in. The reason I think this is because, simply put, whatever idea (at any moment) that dominates The Conversation is quite literally the dominate idea permiating through all human conversation, which translates to both serious subconscious effects on our actions and (when remembering that communication is used to organize other humans) {iff I'm correct} should someone have the resources to do so, directing The Conversation would be a fucking cakewalk so long as you never give away it's existence].

Of course this would also mean, technically speaking, we all only really have one mind explicitly expressed through conversation that we elect to take a piece of and maintain within ourselves.

This guy thinks

This also helped me realize that, within your mind, there is very little difference between reading something innternally/inside your head and thinking it. You're still just firing neurons responsible for language processing and neurons responsible for commiting things to memory, and with that being the case, someone malicious could create something in written form to explicitly take advantage of this.

I can never seem to hold on to passion. I'll find a source of inspiration that might spark a deep, burning passion for life and give me a real goal to work towards, but then it fades by the next morning (afternoon) and I just keep living in zombie mode until something else snaps me out of it for a moment. I lift, I eat, I binge mindless media, I drink, then I sleep. I'll add things to the routine every now and then, but it's like I'm trapped in this cyclical mentality, where any step outside the routine takes immense mental effort.

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im too fucking cooked for this gn

Goodnight user!

Getting out in sunlight more and writing my thoughts/inspirations down has helped me escape my "zombie mode" moments, but that may not work for you.
It did take a couple of days for me to really get into a groove again when starting this, I should add.

I always wonder what I'm going to do with my life and why I continue to live it. I feel like it's mostly just so people around me don't get sad, but sometimes I wonder if it would only last a little bit and not be so bad.
I do think about ending my life and others sometimes, but it's mostly intrusive thoughts like, "What if I switched lanes into oncoming traffic right now" or "If I went out and shot myself, would it really matter?"
I don't know why I feel this way, probably just because I'm lonely. I didn't have a terrible childhood, and my family is pretty close, but that's about it. I have no idea what to do about my future or how long it will last.
Talking about it feels good man

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Are you me user? holy fuck I feel the exact same way. The only reason I haven't killed myself is my Grandma wouldn't take it very well, she would probably have a heart attack or stroke after hearing the news

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If you're still young, don't fret, that mindset comes from a lot of societal pressure that's centered on this idea of "If you don't have life figured out by 21 and you aren't successful by 30 AT LEAST, you're a failure" that exists across the globe right now, and that is just not realistic outside of the years prior to 2008.
That being said, I would recommend trying out hobbies or martial arts and shit, you might not find the one thing you really like right away, but you significantly increase the odds of finding a path to it and open up doors to find people to befriend.

Honestly same.
Or maybe like a type of schizo or something.
There's something wrong with me, I just know it

Alternatively, join the political fight for a right to die. I think Oregon or Washington already has a State Sanctioned Right to Death, and frankly speaking, I think denying people the control of ending their lives with dignity and through interpersonal and societal shame has seriously hurt the mental health of many people.

i just want a job. to maybe eventually save. and do my own thing. that's all.

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I been keeping a lot of secrets from my long distance girlfriend of 5 years (almost 6 now).

I’m starting crack from the pressure.

Secrets or Lies? Also, how big are talking? Is it that they're huge, or that there's too many?

I'm playing the sims 3 and shitposting

Long distance relationships are fucking millenial shit.

I want a GF tho ;_;

Women need to be raped. It is the only language they understand. Women enjoy rape. Don't let them tell you otherwise, because they are notorious liars and don't know their own minds. Women want to be held down and fucked hard. They want to be made to cry and scream. Women have a biological imperative to be raped. Did you know that women who are raped are twice as likely to conceive as women who have unprotected consensual sex? It is a fact. Women who are raped often have orgasms as well - some women have never had an orgasm in their lives save for a rape. The desire to be sexually dominated is deeply programed into the woman. This is a fact of evolution that cannot be denied without women becoming unbalanced. Feminism is really just an outward manifestation of an internal problem with modern women. These 'feminists' desperately want to be put in their place. That's why they act out so much and are so belligerent. Whether they know it or not, subconsciously they want to piss men off and get men to make them submit. They want to be slapped in the face, told to shut the fuck up, and then raped until they can't stand up. This is what women really want. I say we give it to them

>this past year done a fuck ton of drugs (when we started dating, I was pretty straight edge. I told her about it a few months ago with the promise I’d stop. I haven’t. Pretty hard stuff too - like coke).

> my birthday was pretty recent and I went out and got shit faced with some friends. Danced and grinded on some bitches - basically dry humped one. Sort kissed the same chick but again, I was shit faced).

> crushing hard on this chick from work. Dropped a significant amount of money on going to this lake house next month for one of my buddy’s birthday, just because there’s a chance she might be going (supposedly).

Christ - you’re a fucking freak. Kys

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Yea Forums by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is Yea Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge..this place.... this place has a lot to offer. heh you'll see, kidthat is if you can handle it

I fell in love with my childhood best friend and now i feel miserable

We've been best buds for years and now I can't get her out of my mind

Your argument is literally as rational as, "Everyone craves the release of death, that's why we all release our bowels when we die".
The only thing this shows is that you have an imperative to rape, and should kill yourself.

Yeah, I've liked my childhood friend for about 3 months now. I was gonna ask him out, but then he got a girlfriend.

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Sometimes I sit down and wonder what people go through every day. Like for instance I witness many people speeding and damn near killing others just so they can get to their destination faster, of course I do get upset with these people and at times flip them off but I wonder what their reasoning behind it really is. Is it their first day at a job? Most of the time I automatically assume that they are late but is it their first time being late? Second or third? Are they just assholes trying to piss people off? Or are they having such a bad day that they don’t think properly and don’t realize that they put others in danger. And it’s not just on the road, sometimes I read the comments on certain Posts online and see how negative some people are, but what causes them to act like that? I could go on and on but I’m sure it’ll be too much

I feel like true winnerrrrrrrrrrr

I mean like poopoo

The world is a fucked up place and it does fucked up things to people that destroy their rationality and self restraint. I used to speed a lot when I was a suicidal teenager because I didn't care if I died or hurt anyone else, not really, and it made me feel something, even if it was something negative. Writing irrationally angry shitposts had a similar effect.

My ex who I was close to upending my entire life to create a new life with, who dumped me last summer, called me yesterday and apologized. She says she can't stop thinking about me and wants to try again.

I want to tell her to fuck off, to tell her I'm happy without her but for some reason its so hard. I know she doesnt deserve shit but I just can't force myself to do it. We were supposed to talk earlier but I ignored her calls and going to blame it on falling asleep.

Do you continue to do these acts or did you eventually stop as time progressed, I remember I used to be angry all the time literally a year ago while driving and it got to the point to where I put people I loved in danger, almost got into many wrecks. But the one thing that made me realize how bad I was with my attitude was when I got myself, gf, and a close friend into a road rage incident that would’ve ended in a mediocre fight. I noticed all the wrong stuff I was doing and managed to fix myself just enough to where I can go through many situations without being cracked

I dunno, I kinda just... stopped. I think it comes with age, but one thing that helped was getting a car I actually enjoyed driving. Things bother me less, and I'm happy to just cruise at the speed limit, feel the torque of the motor chugging along at 2000rpm instead of revving out my little buzzy sub-100hp hatchback to keep up with traffic.

I know the whole drug thing is over-advertised, but legit try lsd. It temporarily rewires the brain in a way that it never has or could be otherwise, and it's such a refresher on life for the next few weeks. Rinse repeat.

I've been wanting to try LSD, but idk where/how to get it. I'm not smart enough for safe deep web use but I don't have any social connections in person besides old high school friends who think I'm just a straight edge babby.

I have doubts. How do i make them disappear?

Checkin' those quaddoubles. Stop thinking, start acting. Figure it out as you go.

I can't shake the feeling that I'm a complete fucking loser, even though by normal society's metric I'm reasonably successful and middle class. I feel awkward and like I don't fit in anywhere. Does this feeling ever go away?

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A week before I proposed to my girlfriend that I been with for 5 years, I found out she slept with her coworker

Jesus man that's fucking brutal. That happened to a friend of mine recently, his girlfriend who he talked about proposing to, started spending more and more time alone with her boss because he's a cocky douche with a motorcycle.

Life doesn't prepare you for that sort of shit, nobody really sits you down when you're a kid and tells you that there's a risk your closest person might betray your trust in such a trashy and disrespectful way

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Sounds like you got some issues, have you ever gone to see a psychologist and just talk? If not I'd suggest you book an initial meeting just so that you can get a gauge on your mental wellbeing. Its hard to properly quantify your problems by yourself.

Gf broke it off like two weeks ago. Still get really sad about it, especially when I drink and stay up late like now. Just watched some home videos of us fucking and hater-bated to it. I’m more angry now than sad. So now I’m listening to J dilla instrumentals playing video games. Might smoke another bowl and go to sleep. Oh yeah today is her birthday so I couldn’t get that out of my mind and all the shit I had planned that I didn’t get to do because we’re broken up. More money for me I guess.

Not only did I find that out, my younger sister caught my mom cheating on my dad in oct now they’re getting divorced too. Life sucks atm

I can’t sleep cause I have nightmares about it and sleep on the floor even though I have work in an hour and a half

Mate if you have a decent job and have health insurance why don't you go visit a therapist. Maybe you have some underlying issues. Maybe you just didn't socialize enough as a kid. Idk at least your financially stable

I don’t receive coverage from my job so I’d have to pay out of pocket. As of right now I can’t afford the luxury of a therapist

Damn.. is your mom single?

It's not a luxury if you are literally wrecked with self loathe and doubt all the time. A single appointment doesn't cost too much and theres a lot you can learn from it.

Nah, divorce isn’t finalized so she’s still married plus she got her boyfriend so if you wanna take a ticket and wait in line

Feels good man , bought a cool car and built a brand new i9 gaming rig with the pro job I got. Now im saving money to begin investing and researching how to avoid the most amount of taxes possible.
Im setting goals for myself and accomplishing them one by one, never trying to do too much at once or I know I will fail and get down on my myself.
I used to be a drunken sperglord who grew up really poor and had a super shitty childhood with an emotionally abusive mother and non existent dad. Im 28 now but realized it wasn't too late to turn my shit around and now everything is going bretty good.

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I say a therapist is a luxury because when you’ve got no one there for you and when the only person who had your back turns on you, being able to pay someone wholes profession and life passion is to listen to my Problems and help me better them and myself, but is behind a barrier of monetary value, it’s tough not it ya know

What really gets me about this relationship is I was an infidel the first half of it and learned after every mistress I had that it was always her I really wanted and cleaned up my act and devoted strictly to her. Then she dumps me because she’s scared of the commitment. She’s young and she’s going to have to go through a lot of bullshit to see what was right in front of her like I did, and it wasn’t a pretty road and it rips my heart a new one because she’s so precious to me, the thought of someone else being with her fucking kills me on the inside. But alas, I won’t reach out. She’s going to have to figure it out like I did. I think she’ll come around. I hope anyway.

That’s great man, congrats. I need to turn my shit around. I need a job lol

Good to hear man. I'm proud of you. Just remember to also put money on the side for when shit hits the fan. Rule of thumb is to save up so you can live comfortably for at least 8 months.

> What really gets me about this relationship is I was an infidel the first half of it and learned after every mistress

Bro you're fucking delusional. You were fucking around with other girls while in a relationship with "the one". Honestly no wonder she broke it off and scared of commitment. It's not her problem, it's you.

Good job fucking it up. You think when you stopped cheating on her suddenly makes shit okay? Life doesn't work like that my guy, and she finally grew a pair to leave your ass. Now learn your lesson and don't fuck up your next relationship

Skip going to the loghouse. Doing a first step in self-control makes each succesfull step easier. Think nofap.

You’re retarded, she never knew I was fooling around. She hasn’t the slightest clue.

Honestly the fact that she didn't know just makes it worse. Point is, you weren't innocent. Maybe she could sense that on some level.

If you knew the nuances you’d know how it played it. It’s not cut and dry. And it was a long relationship. I definitely set myself straight. She’s just going to go through what I did to get to the other side.

girl I just met got raped by shitskins and wants to kill herself. says she already drank dish soap and cut herself, what do

Very sensitively and politely suggest that she seek professional help.

I did but she doesn't want to, she also showed me her cuts and the soap she drank

Then suffering probably makes her wet, and making others uncomfortable makes her even more wet

then how do I proceed user? do I just 360 moonwalk?

Well you're definitely not qualified to help her with her mental issues, and you'd probably have to be at least as psycho as her to keep her satisfied in and out of bed. To quote the age old adage, "don't stick your dick in crazy."

but she's not crazy and it's platonic. no sex is involved, she is actually fucked up from the rape

haven't been able to sleep for like a week. Its weird I'm getting sick and cant lift a gallon of milk but for some reason I won't pass out.

I can't go to the doctor as I have had anxiety for years and only people without anxiety are allowed to use anxiety medication so theyll just tell me I'm not dying yet.