i have no one to really tell this to so i figured there's no better place than here to share the good news.
Long story short, i fell in love with this girl a few years after my fiance died, and she led me on for a really, really long time; two and a half years actually. Kept doing that dumb shit where she'd say we're too perfect for eachother and other annoying crap. Did this non stop for two and a half years, everytime i said lets try it or even if we were just kind of having a good time hanging out. I really should have left then, but I didn't it was dumb I know.
A few months ago, she told me she was going into the military to find purpose. She had been depressed and looking for a way to travel to "find herself," obviously I was a bit taken back by this, but I tried to show support as best I could. A few weeks had passed and she told me she was ready to be deployed, and needed help moving out. In a heart beat I said okay, if it was going to be my last chance I was going to see her and tell her I love her. I went to her apartment at around 5 pm after i got off work and we streamlined the process and got it done around 10 pm. Which isn't bad for moving an entire apartment out, especially when she was incredibly anal about how everything had to be packed. Regardless, we got it done quick and it wasn't all too painful.
I ordered a pizza for us after and we sat down for the first time all day and just took a minute to relax. Watched an episode of house sitting on the floor with the tv and ate our food. The entire time I had it in my head that this was my chance to tell her that I was deeply and helplessly in love with her.
The episode of house ended, and we opted out of watching another, which I was very okay with. We sat in silence for a moment and did that dumb fucking thing people do when they don't know what to talk about and I asked her "so you're really doing it?" and this lead to conversation about how she was actually going to do it.
So, is she ACTUALLY going to the military or is she just saying that so the instant you say "bye, baby cakes", she runs away on her hands and does a quadrupole back flip into Chad's corvette? Ride off in sun set?
Nathan Foster
She was actually really excited too, and who wouldn't be if your entire life up until that point had been a small house in kansas, and a run down apartment in orlando. I said I was excited for her, it's not often that a 5' blonde girl from kanses gets beheaded on national news. She really didn't appreciate it but boy can I only dream. We talked a bit more about it and she finally asked me if I thought she was doing the right thing. I said I don't know. She sat for a minute and said you never say that, and I think this is where she caught on that I didn't want her to go. A moment or so went by and she said "well it's not like there's anything for me here, so why would I stay?" and I didn't really have an answer for her. I was so ready to pussy out and let her just go. I pretended to be hurt and said "so it'd be just that easy to leave me, huh?" and she laughed with me telling me she couldn't wait to get away.
It was time, I had been sitting on this for almost three years and the truthfully I needed to do it. For my own sanity. Having only ever been with one person before and it was above and beyond the best thing to ever happen to me. I thought that just maybe there was a chance that I could be happier with her (Just realized I never said her name, her name is casey. I called her casserole because casey anthony was over done.)
So I had to do it, and I finally did. I told her I don't think she should go, and when she asked "and why is that?" without any hesitation I told her it's because I am so unbelievably in love with her.
She didn't even bat an eye at that and she told me that I didn't have to say that to guilt her into staying. I told her I'm not, it's the truth and I mean it. We went back and forth like we always did, she'd say we're just not meant for eachother, i'd ask her why and we went back and forth. We did that for maybe 2-3 hours, too. It was different than the other times and I was trying to be as serious as I could about it.
Evan Powell
>beheaded on national news
Wut
Pleez continue
Nathaniel Martinez
I know I'm a retard and said long story short and proceeded to tell my entire existence but i promise im going somewhere, anyway, went back and forth and she cried and said that I shouldn't be telling her that. I asked why and she told me that leaving is the hardest thing she's ever thought of doing, and that because of me she almost wasn't going to do it. Saying that I loved her made it even harder. I kind of just let her sit there for a minute and compose herself before I asked her why. She said that she loved me too, and she just wasn't ready to be with me and that whole bullshit speech about how she isn't really ready to be happy and that it would all just be so easy. Kinda dumb but whatever she's small and somehow bigger asshole than I am. I told her that's ridiculous, and asked her why leaving is what she thought she needed to do before we could well, be together.
She said she's always been an 'us' and she wanted time away from being an us. again i don't get that mentality but whatever, i said im not trying to force you into anything i just don't want you to leave. She kept crying and looking back, kinda annoying but whatever I let more time pass and I asked her if she would stay with me. She was consistent with the No and was hysterical at this point so i didnt push her any further. Just kind of sat there until she could calm down enough to keep talking. It's now maybe, 4 am and we've been at this for hours. She had stopped crying for a few minutes and she said she loved me too, which was pretty obvious but I really didn't expect that. She told me that she had loved me and that she absolutely needed to do this before we could be together. We kept fighting back and forth until she eventually got less hysterical, held my hand and said she just has to, but she'll be back and then we can be together. All that crap. I told her I'll wait longer if i have to
Hunter Russell
So are you typing err? Bump I guess
Carson Anderson
Im here until the end Im very curious and jesus fuck I stare at screens too much for too long
Ian Barnes
I told her that she can go off and be her, be her as much as she needs to because when she gets back it's going to be her and I for a very very long time. She cried more and kept saying 'I love you so much,' and it really did hurt that she waited all that time to tell me and that I had to pry it out of her like that. The sun was starting to come up and it was about time to start packing her car with as much as we could fit into it so she could go back to kanses to spend time with her family before she was deployed. We packed up her car, and she was still crying, but not quite in the same way as she was before. She looked really hopeful and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be to say goodbye to her. I closed her trunk that held the last of the stuff she needed before she could leave. I told her i'd do the drive with her so she wouldn't have to stop to which she laughed and said there's barely room for her in the car, but it was sweet that i offered regardless. she kissed me and told me that she already couldn't wait to come back so we could start our lives together. I told her one more time that I loved her and that i'll be here, waiting for her as long as she needs me to be until she comes back.
I truly meant all of this, I think this goes without saying but life goes gray after the person you called the love of your life passes away suddenly (She had cancer and died just under a year into treatment for anyone wondering,) I really did think that if i ever was going to get a second chance, this would be it. i was actually going to get the happy life anyone wants, and I was going to get it after doing an incredibly good job of convincing myself that I was always going to be the low bar for misery, the person that leads people to believe that they could have it worse. I was hopeful and it was because of her and knowing it was going to be okay.
Blake Williams
Jesus Christ. Im sorry for your loss... How have you been coping?
Kevin Price
We hugged for maybe 5-10 minutes, i don't really remember how long we stood there but it felt like forever. She scratched my back and said that she had to go. I jokingly asked her to pick me up some tea on her way back and she laughed, not before calling me an idiot mind you. I told her that I was really going to miss her, and she said it back. She told me she was doing this so nothing else could get in the way of us when she got back. And just like that, she left. It was a weird start to what I thought was going to be the rest of our lives, but it was a start non the less.
I assumed she would just text me when she got to her brothers in Tennessee, but it was around 10 oclock that I started to sincerely worry about her. Not a text or a phone call, nothing. Which to go almost a full day without talking in itself was weird enough, but after all of that especially so. I got on facebook and went to check if maybe she had posted anything and forgot to text me.
I check her facebook and it says that she got engaged to someone named John, a name i had never heard her mention. Ever.
As if she knew I saw it she texted me. "I'm sorry," was all she said, and that was the last I ever heard from her. Been months and I still can't believe how awful of a thing she was capable of doing to someone. She never told me she had a boyfriend, she never told me she was seeing anyone, or ever even brought this guy up which was incredibly confusing because we genuinely told each other everything. This isn't anything crazy, I knew about any of her one night stands, everytime a guy said something nice or weird to her, every date she went on. She told me all about it, but not him. She never even once mentioned someone else named john, she kept him from me and I don't know why she thought she had to do that.
She broke me, I tell people about this and they're hesitant to believe me at first because they can't wrap their head around someone being so awful.
Josiah Robinson
*slaps knee* Fuckin called it. Sorry she did that, women are slimey fickled creatures sprinkled with just the right amount of shallow.
Adrian Campbell
Shit nigga, that's brutal, I seriously hope for your sake that you're just LARPing
Austin Barnes
I know Its possible I'm being dramatic, but this was very shortly after my dad died and honestly, this was really all I had left.
I later heard from a mutual friend of ours that she stopped in Kentucky where he lived and they got engaged that night, had been long distance for a few months but he promised her everything. Traveling, no worries about expenses, able to help her with school and getting a degree, a job she liked. Just stuff that i guess meant more to her than being with me, but to this day will never understand why she told me that she loved me.
I sincerely don't want to hear her reasoning or even anything from her, at least not yet. It still really hasn't settled in.
Anyway, the reason I'm on here bitching about it is because that same mutual friend texted me earlier today saying that her Fiance has been cheating on her for 5/6 months that they've been engaged, and that her life has been awful. She got into a wreck and had to undergo surgery on her leg, which he wouldn't pay for like he said he would. Works a different job she hates, and still isn't in school.
I'm not really sure how I feel about it all. I'd love your thoughts because im torn in two here. Part of me still feels for her, and wants her to be happy and absolutely doesn't want this for her. The other part of me is so fucking glad that her life is miserable and hopes for so much more crap to happen to that fucking reprehensible disgusting bitch for what she did. But I don't know, I considered texting her, but i'm opting not to right now. What do you guys think of the whole thing/ texting her?
Leo Bailey
My first gf left me for faggot horse gummed ass twat some years ago. She was head over heels literally for him. He fucked her probably a lot, then one night I got a phone call from her. She was sobbing saying how he said he went to join the army, but didn't. Dude moved to another state like a grade A nigger.
Camden Nguyen
Truthfully, I haven't been. I've been to a lot of different therapist and whatever part of me doesn't want to move on doesn't let me get better. I've moved twice since she died, both in an effort to leave behind the places that remind me of her that are just empty museums to what once was.
I'm currently in group therapy and I don't find it comforting whatsoever, but I have to do something to not feel worse about myself. I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in the past four years since she died, I dream every night the same thing. That she's here with me, inches away, but she can't hear me. I scream and yell at the top of my lungs but she can't hear me and I wish she could because if she could i could tell her just how much I love and miss her. But I can't. I just wake up no more than an hour after I fell asleep absolutely disgusted with myself. I don't know when or how it's going to get better but it's going to be at least another few years before im even ready to start thinking about trying to move on again. It took me up until recently to stop feeling guilty for kissing casey, the thought of being with someone else after everything that has happened physically wrecks me.
Tyler Wright
I wish I was too
Cooper Ramirez
That's what she gets tbh
Parker Gonzalez
My entire life is a shit show, as you can probably tell by reading some of this. The story of my fiance is arguably much worse and casey knew all of it. She chose to hurt me well knowing how much I had already gone through, and now im here ranting about it on Yea Forums because i have no one else to really tell about this so idk
Cameron Morris
Fortunately not all of them, but she definitely is the worst of them
Hudson Scott
With shit that traumatises us its best to seek outlets that can occupy our minds. Maybe find a new hobby, try new foods, exercise more, occupy the brain. We only live one life so don't spend it being miserable all the time. If you can't help it try and be happy as much as your able to try and blurr that mind set. Human beings need things to drive them. To live for. Something that makes you get out of bed in the morning and givea you purpose. I don't have much and I feel more lost every day. Yet, I know a life without some type of purpose WILL kill me so its just forcing myself to do something.
Jayden Ramirez
Oh trust me, im not the "sit in bed and bitch," sort of depressed, im incredibly active. As much of my time as possible goes to being pre occupied, I recently lost a bunch of weight, i read every day, practice art, write, work out an hour a day, force myself to be outside in the sun when I can. I've run through hobbies and it just never gets better, it gets worse because lately i've been monumentally frustrated that I haven't gotten better. My therapist says there isn't an expiration date on grief, which is true. However, lately I have it in my head that if my fiance were here to see how much her death has affected me, and how bad i've been it would break her heart. That's just my latest thing though, I know my purpose and it's to live to make her happy. Become a person that she would be proud of and do all the tihngs she knows I can. I just don't know how to do that yet
Michael Howard
Damn dude. I'm gonna write a story about this shit- your life is a goldmine for comedy and tragedy.
Christopher Miller
Seems like you just got over attached to the Casey chick. Why would you put all your eggs in one basket? It's clear that you were just a friend.
Zachary Cooper
You know, I worked for a call center company here in the states that also had a sister center in Manila, and once I came upon a document that listed "American idioms" and their explanations in plain English.
One such was "to make a long story short..." that was "term used to conclude a story that was not short at all."
It made me Chuckle, but I think it's accurate.
Jeremiah Howard
My fiance was the first girl I had ever been with, and I chased her for seven years. I understand that "it's what I do," isn't really a good answer, but after going a couple of years without really thinking I would ever be attracted to anyone again wouldn't you give it your all? Especially if you thought this was your only second chance at being happy?
Jack Anderson
That sounds pitiful dude. You need to stop trying so hard and forcing yourself into these shit situations. If the girl doesn't feel the same way, then keep it moving. You're not helping yourself by whining about how broken you're heart is honestly.
Kayden Garcia
the obvious response is to get over it but it doesn’t actually work like that lmfao
Easton Bennett
It does. You're just a sad faggot. Simple
Jayden Reed
Y'know what? Fuck it. You have 2 options here. 1: If you lobe her as much as you say you do. Poured your guts out to her and are willing to bare the brunt of shame and self pity that comes from moping around then fuck it. Just fucking go after her man. Get to her and pull her out of there. People make shitty mistakes and do shitty things when they are still trying to figure themselves out. Maybe if you truly believe you can make eachother happy then perhaps you just gotta fuckin go for it. Take the risk, guard your heart as best you can and fuckin fight for her. 2: delete her off of everything you know and just do your best to move on. Try a new hobby that lets you meet people and shit. Take a 1 man trip somewhere. Fuckin go backpacking for all i care. Just DO something. MOVE FORWARD one fuckin step at a time. Go on a road trip with a best friend. Go to a music festival. Learn an instument and start a band. Bottom line for either choice is. Do what YOU in your heart believe is the right choice. It's like that coin flip saying. That you'll already know what you want when you flip it.
Blake Hill
Not him, but it literally doesn't just work like that.
Andrew Barnes
Put the crazy evil bitch out of your mind and never look back. Seriously. If someone did that to you, after knowing you lost your fiancé to cancer.. If you ever talk to her again, have fun being even more of a ruined shell of a human being.
Julian Roberts
It work like that. There is 2 type of ppl in this word; the weak, and the strong. If you cant get over a simple sentimental event, then you're part of the first category. Feeling and thought like that are stuff happening in your head, they are yours to control. If you let them control you, then thats why you let out an answer as weak as that.
And thats also why made this thread; because he can't grow some balls and move on from a woman that litteraly played him like shit without second thought. Why would HE have a second tought about her then?
Jacob Morris
Friend zoned? Checks out A girl i loved did that to me brether, it hurt
Kevin Hall
She did you dirty and she got 10x worse, dont let these hoes bring you down brether, just keep moving on to the next till one decides to stay with you. But always be careful.
Justin Clark
dont contact her, live ur best life n post it so she can see, make her regret it
Justin Jenkins
did you have sex with her or not?
Jose Sullivan
>What do you guys think
Firstly, she wasn't into you bro. She told you this... over and over and over again. Yes, your life sucks ass and it's hard, m8, I know... it's really fucking hard. As much as you needed her to be, she just wasn't into you.
Also, it takes two to lie... she likely thought you would freak out if she told you about her new dude, and thought not telling you was easier than telling you. That's partly your fault (mostly hers for being a lying cunt, but you got to own that she couldn't trust you with her own business). You have been through more than your fair share, but that's not your fault and it's not hers... don't blame her.
She never led you on, by your own statements - she was upfront and told you that it wouldn't work out or that she just didn't want it to. You either enjoyed her friendship and company, or you didn't... but you now wishing ill of her isn't fair to her. You're hurt... and this opens old wounds... and it's not your fault either, it just kind of sucks.
>I dream every night the same thing.
"Dreams are the window into the soul" Ever hear that one? The reason why people say that is because without training, people don't usually actively control their dreams. It's the closest thing we have to listening to our inner workings while we process our lives without thinking about it and fucking it up. You are the best one to make sense of your own dreams, but it really speaks to me that: try as hard as you might, you just can't say what you wanted to say to them while they were alive, and it's something that they will never hear... there is something left unsaid that you are hung up on preconsciously. You should figure what that is, and just scream it... get it out of your system. Have a cry and just let it out... then be done with it. I have every reason to believe it ISN'T that you simply loved them and that you miss them. You got to really think on what you wanted that you never told them. Something relating to guilt.
pathetic beta male with no balls to move any moves or escalate sexually blames the girl for not having a relationship with an eunuch. If women started breeding with men like you then we'd be fucked in a few generations. You got for you deserved.
