I put up stupid random gaming clip videos on my youtube, to no real subscribers, and every now and then I get a thumbs down and it hurts me and I go through a range of emotions from crying to rage.
dafuq... I know I've had a terrible history of bullying, abuse, permanent damage, and a lifetime of loneliness and misery, but I really don't care about the videos or my youtube...
So why?
Aww. You need a hug.
*hugs*
Are you talking to eugeo or me, OP?
Post pics of your boipussy, fucking faggot
Link or gtfo
it's because you know your life is shitty and mediocre at best and you half ass it always
and you know the content you put out on youtube is the same
it just hurts to know other people realize it too, because if you put actual effort into your content and it was entertaining or captivating, people would receive it positively
but that's the thing, you probably just sit on your ass and play games and put 0 effort into doing it for an audience, which results in boring shitty videos of some sperg playing games for himself instead of to entertain and audience
thumbs down= you are not accepted
lonelinesss, bullying= you are not accepted
To OP.
The reason you care about the thumbs-down isn't because of the person behind them, nor their intentions, really.
It's because every thumbs down is a reminder of the bullying, abuse, permanent damage, etc that you have suffered.
It's like water torture; the drop itself doesn't cause harm, but the place it hits is so sore, it hurts anyway.
Which means you need a hug, because it's the closest thing to band-aid there is.
So. *hugs*
If to OP, I've never had a hug in my entire life, literally. I don't know what one feels like. I was an orphan, raised by the state and doped up on psychiatric drugs as a guinea pig. I do what it is like to be restrained though and forcibly drugged with said drugs though, for refusing said drugs, and developing permanent involuntary movement disorders and spending the rest of my life on disability, trapped in a group home still forced on drugs until I finally got out, became homeless, and worked my way into a renting a room in a trailer with an alcoholic crackhead who tries to rob me even though I'm here literally 24/7.
Try music, music helps me.
Jesus. I've been through a lot, but that's insane.
With a background like that "being alive" is success.
I do recommend trying to find your own place with less crackheads when you can though... that sounds creepy >.o
I can't find my own place, if not for SSI checks being phased out with direct express I never would have been able to escape the group home. I'll be homeless again once my next continuing disability review comes up, since I have no intention of going to that consultative exam. The next psych professional I see may very well be my ticket to prison for murder.
Oh, but the reason I cant find my own place is because $750 is nowhere near enough to find anything, it's barely enough to live like this, but I have been looking for other rooms to rent, I've only been here for 2 months and it's been 2 months too long.
Ah damn :S
That's tricky :S
Getting a job would really help of course, but that's a lot easier said than done.
What do you want from life? Is there anything you care about?
If you saw me, you'd know. I don't think you've ever, or will ever, see someone with tardive dyskinesia and tardive dystonia at a workplace. And even if I could find an employer who'd look beyond that, I have brain damage and cognitive problems and no work history at the age of 36.
post your channel bitch
Ah tricky.
You've got good reasoning though, your IQ is probably above average despite that though.
Do you like programming? Maybe you could program apps or something?
you shuold probably go to college if you need more brain power.
No, you're just going to thumb shit down.
God I am such a tool who could ever not pity someone who has a handicapp and uses it as a device to gain sympathy.
As opposed to having a disability and using it to... make lemonade? Become a millionaire?
Maybe I'll legitimately like some of your shit, maybe I won't.
You can't be such a faggot fearing if people like or dislike your shit.
I literally suggested he look for work, he explained why that would be hard.
Mentioning a handicap when asked about a topic it affects is not "using it as a device to gain sympathy".
You guys scared him off :(
Was a bitch anyway
He wasn't rude to anyone. Unlike some other people here.
Anyways, OP.
You have been given a bad start, but you've worked it really well to get this far. You should continue doing that. You can get much further in life than those medical staff realize.
You can probably do something that earns you a little income, and even if you can't, you can volunteer or do other things to find meaning in life.
Your terrible past will still affect you, but it can also make you much more humble, and you'll probably be a much better listener than 99% of people, which is a rare skill.
Take care man. You deserve to be loved too. *hugs*