I am depressed Yea Forums. I know there are alot of threads like this, but I do not know where to turn...

I am depressed Yea Forums. I know there are alot of threads like this, but I do not know where to turn. I had 6 years of sobriety, and the last month I have drank 4 times. I am going to school, and used to be motivated. I have a 3.7 gpa. I feel lost. I go to school. I study. I play video games and that is it. I think i just wanted the dopamine rush, but I am playing with fire. I do not know what to do. Killing myself is not an option. I mean it is, but not one I am considering. I guess I am saying, why am I like this and where can I improve? How do I stop this cycle of shit.

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Hey man if you need someone to talk too or play vidya with my discord is turntey#1234

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Work another set of steps brother, you know all will be well then

No I don't want to have my heart ripped out again.

Meet new people, get friends
Basically get a new hobby or something new
It can be going to the gym, getting a new hobby where u can meet new people, getting in a group/club of something(book, D&D, etc), helping the poor, etc
Eventually you will have to talk to people or they will have to talk to you.

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It is just... 6 YEARS... I had 6 years man... and I throw it all away to just feel something other than boredom.

hey OP if you have a good family they helped me and helped me get back on my feet. also find a hobby, video games, walking, anything that keeps your mind clear. if you ever need to clear your head hmu on discord zodiackiller#1208

It would kill my family to know I have gone back. I was in the army and almost ruined my career with drinking. Idk if I can tell them. I would talk to my sponsor, but he is an old timer and kind of a dick lol. I think i will keep it a secret from my family and just tell my sponsor.

Get other hobbies, try stuff out

Also play high risk vidya like Escape from Tarkov, Runescape or some shit for the rush, if you really feel like that's necessary. Then ween off the need for a rush as you get more angry because of the loss of items in vidya, lol.

LMAO, we have laser tag here. I like minigolf myself, but I get mad when I can't get it into the hole

Challenge yourself to do something that scares the shit out of you.

I am NOT skydiving

I'm 2 weeks sober after 5 years of alcoholism. Gib advice.

good work. here's my advice: If you get a craving, stop yourself and immediately start doing something else for a while and focus on it. Cravings usually pass after a few minutes, so if you can distract yourself for a few minutes, it will likely pass.

thanks

Snort zoloft and prozac.

which will do nothing

The best way to start is to not have any alcohol in your house if you haven't done that already. That way you won't be tempted to take just one sip. Also, don't go anywhere near an alcohol store or shelf if you can avoid it.

thanks. Already got rid of alcohol. Been smoking some weed from time to time. If I get cravings I just tell myself I gotta relax and start thinking about some happy shit.

Ok so drink and do drugs like everyone else that is normal. Sobriety is. Choice

You do AA or any other shit to help you? I hate a lot of the shit AA does, but it's good to have someone to talk to.

probably just Major Depressive Disorder.

Anhedonia will kill a motherfucker.

Acquire insurance, somehow, go to a psychiatrist, they'll ask what's up, "I'm depressed, no interest in things, no pleasure," etc.

they'll do some full battery stuff to see how far you reach and in what areas, and, if they're good, offer therapy *and* meds, just keep coming in every week or two, learn some good coping strategies, eventually get taken off meds, go out, fuck life in the ass, bitches in the pussy, eat a good steak.

we can't let the disorders win, my guy, get out there and fight this shit.

Here's what you do OP. Get up, steer away from the internet some and find a new hobby. Since you're still in school, try to find something that doesn't require you to drop what you're doing.

Maybe get some plants, start painting, pick up an instrument, or even just start working out. I've been in your exact position, exchanging alcohol for weed, and what you need is a change in routine. You don't have to quit vidya, but you need something new.

If nothing else, take a trip to Walmart and buy a cheap ass bike and just start riding around, trying to one up yourself. While routine is important, occasional breaks from routine are just as important.

If you actually WANT to stick to your routine somewhat, try picking up some cooperative games. Something like R6S, CSGO, or Rocket League. This'll get you communicating with others and probably making friends. Or replace vidya with tabletops. You can't play MtG or D&D alone, and you're bound to at least find someone to regularly play with.

More importantly though, don't fall into the trap most people (myself included) do. Don't lose the drive to feel happy, because once you give up, your grades, health, and mental fortitude will deteriorate. Also set small short term goals leading to large long term goals. And make sure to eat decent. It's not too expensive to eat good meals, you just gotta look a little harder.

Yes, that probably is what he has. Problem is when you have that, you have zero motivation so the hardest part is just starting. starting anything, really... And saying "just start" doesn't work. It sounds awesome in theory, but if depressed people could just start, they could fix themselves. It's complex...

No. I've been to detox clinics twice with minimal effect. I don't trust institutions no more. I just finally feel calm enough and not lonely(living with parents). I feel I'm good on my own.

oh, exercise too.
tough as shit to keep it up, but like, start running places, put weights in front of your doors, simple shit that doesn't feel like exercise, but is.

sometimes the best thing to remind you you're alive is the primal feeling of running for your life and the runner's high when it's all over.

Well, if you've tried other ways and failed, might as well try it this way.

I don't trust institutions either, but it does help having someone to talk to (like a sponsor, or just a close friend). I have similar issues, but likely worse. Not going into detail because I don't want to go down that path today. Good luck.

One thing you can do is excercise. It doesn't need to be anything fancy, walking for one hour every other day is sufficient. Having your body move will release all sorts of beneficial chemicals that will make you feel better.

Yes. Again, this sounds great on paper, and WOULD likely fix the problem. The real problem with major depression is just finding the will to get off the couch or get out of bed. This is something that nobody understands until they go through it. Most people know exactly what would help, but can't get the motivation to do it.

baby steps, though, just, tonight, right now, figure out what's available, easy.
tomorrow, over breakfast, while checking emails, google "insurance plans in..."
this is the worst part, though, because of all those applications, so I understand that.
but once all that's set up, phonebook: psychiatrists.
next monday "hey, I was wanting to come in, how can I get started?"
then boom, just like that, the war's over.
going to the shrink's only as hard as not scheduling mornings and not getting stuck in traffic.

I believe in OP, he seems capable.
more than me, at least, and hey, I'm getting my PTSD and schizotypal and anxiety and depressive shit all fixed up.
If a dumb bitch like me can do it, so can he.

As I saw someone else say user, take a break from the computer and internet. Meet people in your classes and find some people that you can be friendly with. Get fucked up and go to a party and try to meet some new people. I had trouble talking to people too but I can socialize so easily when drinking. And it’s a fun time.

How long have you been an alcie? How much time sober? How much did you drink?

Wow. That is actually good advice. Thank you.

>baby steps, though
Yes, this is a way to start. Commit to doing something very small each day. Then keep adding tiny things until you get there.

You and I both are trying to help, and you're right - baby steps.

Not going there today, sorry, I just can't.

Come on, user. Don't be a faggot...

I have minor PTSD from the army, and have ADHD. I have not been diagnosed with depression, as I do not think I have depression. I think this is a slump and I need to get myself out of this shit. I want to help my people, since I am going into medschool. I am native american and want to help my people out of the prison of self-hatred and being victims of themselves. I do not want to be selfish, but that is the path I am going towards. It is all crazy brother. I want to help others, but cannot seem to help myself. That is what I am dealing with.

not but I recommend pothos, immune to death by greater-than-average neglect. they like drying out between waterings, so it's perfect for someone who forgets or can't water 'em.
just pick off the dying leaves when they start to go to save the plant some energy.

sorry user, faggot is me today.

omg sounds SO familiar...

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I just don't want any anons feeling the way I felt before I threw myself at life. Shit sucks, especially when you get caught in a depressive feedback loop. Good luck user

Dude just stop

probably just robobait, don't worry about it

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OP here. Here is what I did on my early roads of sobriety.

>Open and honest with everyone
>Allow others to help me, even if I feel stupid
>Believed in something greater than myself. (ie. humanity, God, karma, whatever)
>called someone, anyone, when I had a craving or drive to drink
>played games with myself, like "I am going to drink after I do the dishes"
>dishes done
>I am going to drink when I am done with sweeping
>before I know it is after bars and liquor stores are closed and I am going to bed.
>replace bad habits with positive ones
>replace bad peers with good ones
>build my support group with people who can keep secrets
>*important* start believing in myself and who I am
>get mentors/sponsors which I can learn life skills from
>take every moment as a gift, instead of a burden.

You can fucking do it user. If a piece of shit like me can get 6 years before drinking again, you can too. You got this. If you need anything you can contact me. Ill drop my discord. Yea Forums can be a heck of a place, but there are people who care around the world. You are not alone and never will be alone if you keep fighting. You just have to keep fighting.

thanks

one day at a time, my guy.