Tards help me, I'm stuck on the shiter and I'm out of TP...

Tards help me, I'm stuck on the shiter and I'm out of TP, it's the middle of the night so I can't call out for help and the TP is at the other end of the hallway
What do?

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Waddle

Take a shower afterwards.

use your hand and rinse it between wipes. wash after. it's not that bad

I can't, I'll make to much noise and I will trip in the dark

Just go for it. If you're uncomfortable, then just get completely naked first. If you have to clean up after, be sure to use vinegar as it will cover the smell.

I ain't no streetshiter to use my hand for wiping

You have to be 18 to post here

Waddle slowly

Best advice so far

Fuck off kike

shit happens. deal with it. what you gonna do? wipe with a shirt or underwear? jumping in the shower after is just the same thing, except your whole body is getting wet instead of just your hand.

I'll rather waddle my ass with something up my ass that to become a streetshiter

I've had this problem before. trust me here. no mess no fuss: pull up your pants like normal, but clench them but cheeks, waddle-walk over to the TP, return and finish your mission. Might take more wiping coz of smudging but I've never messed on my underwear doing this. And my TP is kept like 60ft away from the toilet.

you're gonna use your hand to clean your ass in the shower anyway

Thanks, and I almost woke up my mother and my cat looked at me with a face of horror

Close your cheeks, pull your pants up to your ass and walk down the hall for a roll of tp like a fucking man. If you are spotted, the person will know exactly whats up and will probably do a 360 out of there, and if they dont just say “sorry, ran out of tp” and carry on. It happens to all of us and on the off chance you are spotted it won’t matter to the other person, especially since that other person is your mom, you fucking neet

Thanks Yea Forumsros for the assistance

lel. animals know what's up. I hate cats

Heey broth! Yaa dun stoopid. If ya make a 360 yall going same wayy.

Well done good sir! You are absolutely correct!

you're wearing socks, ain't ya?

dont be scared. wipe it with your hand and then wash hands thoroughly. its much cleaner than you might think I've gone months with no TP

Is there carpet in the hallway or bathroom? If yes, just sit your ass and drag it along the carpet until clean. Everyone will blame the cat.

Get in the shower fool

That's what I said
It's really not that bad.
Actually wish I had a bidet

Go Indian and use your left hand bro!

Wipe with your hand.
Lick fingers.
Wash hands (optional).