Im about to imprison a wild squirrel for the rest of its lifespan. How can i keep ot alive...

Wow. I bet you're fun at parties.

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Set it free. Some dog near by wants to invite it to lunch

im gonna post timestamps of it here every single day. its gonna be the Yea Forums squirrel. it will be our mascot

for the reasons you were talking about. the idea of seeing it every day and watching its frustration building up.