Any Doctors/Physicians in da house?

Any Doctors/Physicians in da house?
A friend of mine and I are going to fake a mugging for reasons that are too long a story to tell right now..... If you ask I might tell it though.

Anyway, he's gonna stab me in the abdomen with a small custom made blade. I wanted to ask.... how long does this blade have to be in order to pierce the small intestines just a little bit? Just enough to make it go through the fat and muscles and to make a small wound in my intestines... enough to make me go through a little and simple surgery... (the surgery HAS TO happen, it's part of the plot) but of course not enough to jeopardize my life and make me need a terribly big and dangerous procedure.

Thanx for the help.

Pic Unrelated.

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This is OP.

I'm pretty skinny by the way... Height: 172 cms, Weight:about 53 Kilograms.

>Any Doctors/Physicians in da house?

yes. there are plenty of doctors/physicians on Yea Forums.

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nice larp faggot

Tell the reason and I'll give some advice

Why dont use a gun

You could pull it up like these youtubers did for money.

Cover yourself with a book while telling your girlfriend to shot the desert eagle at you

Book will hold bullet eventually

go home jussie

50mm. No longer or dead

Very well sir.........

Reason is.......... uhmm... ok...... I'm desperate to get back with ex gf. I've tried everything in the book... no luck... still loves me but I treated her like.. worse than shit for 7 years... She worshipped me all those years even though I was an asshole.. and even cheated and forgave me once... Around the end of those years, I moved in with her.... but then I dumped her after some months....... that was about a year ago. Few months after leaving her I wanted to get back... and we actually... kept seeing each other again and having sex but she wouldn't accept being my gf again.... we had a huge fight some months ago when I found she was seeing some idiot and.....she was like "I don't love u anymore bablablalbabla....".. which is a huge lie based on other stuff I've learned from reliable sources.. like she gets drunk and misses me and cries over me on the weekends... and shit. But still, I can't even go to her place and say hi... she would literally kick me the fuck out of her house (true story).

Now she hates my guts and is very resented at all the shit I did etc etc etc etc......

My buddy and I are doing this.. like she's gonna be the victim, I defend her, get stabbed, wind up as the hero.. you know.

So there ya go.

she don't like you deal wit it

If you can't see why a nick in the bowel is a really fucking bad thing, it shows you haven't thought this though enough.

Also 3inches is your best bet.

She'll never know it was planned. We're gonna make it very realistic.

I made her feel like I don't care about her at all. She just needs to see me throwing myself at the ultimate sacrifice, which proves the opposite.

As long as I stay away from the large bowel and only make a small wound in the small intestine... I should be fine.. no?........

she wont take you back. If anything she will avoid you entirely afterwards. She will associate you with a lot of danger and the surgery/hospital bills after will completely ruin romamce. The little tiny surgery you're referring to is going to cost around $100,000.

And if your friend is nervous and messes up and kills you? or your gf is secretly fucking him and hiding it and she and him are planning to just kill you and finay get together? what then

I'm not in the US, and I have insurance.... it's completely different here. And she'll never know it's fake. No reason to see me as a psycho. We're going to prepare a knife to make it retractile.. just like the ones for halloween parties and pranks, the blade will look huge but in fact it hides inside the handle and will only leave a fraction outside.

you don't understand me
guest2598: my queefs are my best friends
guest2598: don't `assume my gender
guest2598: you retard gendered moron
guest2598: just because you identify as a retard
guest2598: doesn't make you a transtard
guest2598: i literally talk to my queefs
guest2598: my queefs LITERALLY talk to me
guest2598: you don't talk to my queefs
guest2598: you don't even ask me how my day was
guest2598: fukkin f4ggot
guest2598: go be a damn jew in your jew box

this is really dumb

Smollete is that you?

no

stab in the appendix with switch-blade.

>made her feel like I don't care about her at all. She just needs to see me throwing myself at the ultimate sacrifice, which proves the opposite.
There's other ways to change her mind, yknow. Like sending her a nice letter. You could always slash her tire in secret and just so happen to stumble upon it or maybe even pretend to be giving her some of her stuff back. and offer her a ride to the tire shop and pay for her tire or something. Then put it on and act like you aren't interested in getting back together. she'll be like puddy in your hands and it'll be much cheaper and safer than getting stabbed. those emergency surgeries cost like $100k

this. OP change your plan this is lik 10000 times better

duuuuude nice

In many places it's illegal to carry a knife with the blade length of 3.5 - 4 inches. It's 4 inches in NY, 3 in Illinois, 4 in Cali and you can research other states. Usually around 3 inches the stab would should be non lethal.
The knife has to go through skin, fat, muscle, more fat and eventually penetrate not just poke the small intestine. Actually 3 might not be enough.

I got a better idea. How about i tie you up to a wood frame and over the next 72 hours, push bamboo splinters underneath your fingernails, make tiny cuts all over your body with a dull razor blade and pour gasoline in the cuts, hammer skewers through your eardrums, crush your nuts with a pair of pliers, burn her name into your chest with a torch, pour sulfuric acid into your eyes, blow your kneecaps off with tannerite, shave your feet down a few sizes with a Japanese mandoline, cut your toes off with a grinder, get a super hot chick to suck your dick an when you get hard, she will chop your dick off with fingernail clippers, and feed you your own piss and shit, all the while live streaming it for your ex and giving her the option to take you back, or to let you die by whatever you succumb to first?

Yes and no. You're buddy is an idiot (obviously, I mean he agred to this shit) he ain't gonna have a steady hand and he's got a high probability of bothcing it and going to far, going to deep, stabbing or cutting to far to either side.

You EU cunts ain't the best surgeons and you seem like the 'I huff refrigerant out of the back of the Gas n Crumpets' type, Timmy

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Many countries report stab wounds/gun shots to police. How good are you at lying to cops?

yeah like slash her tire, then stalk her house until she gets in her car, then when she notices her tire let her wait a couple minutes and be upset, then just so happen to be driving by. Offer her a ride to a tire shop, then ask her what kind of tire she has. Don't let her get out of the car, just go inside, come out with a tire. Then drive her back to her car, try not to be weird or talk about your relationship. Just act like you dont really know her other than a distant friend unless she says shit about all that stuff. Then get to her place, change the tire, don't stick around, just get in your car after saying you hope she has a good day and leave. She will guaranteed call or text you within the next 24 hours wanting to meet up. She might not say it directly, but maybe be like "hey im going to get drinks at so and so, will I see you there"? If she says no, dont respond

OP read this

OP READ THIS OP READ THIS OP READ THIS OP READ THIS OP READ THIS OP READ THIS

will op reply i wonder

Slashing is kinda obvious. Maybe it would be better to hammer a nail into the tire at night. Overnight the tire should deflate and in the morning he can do the drive-by.

When I said EVERYTHING in the book I meant it. I even did a serenata outside her house with some friends and amplifier and speakers and microphone and guitar... I already wrote her like 100 letters... I paid for stuff like you suggest... I cooked her a romantic dinner (which I ruined afterwards bcus we went on to fighting big time again... more like I took a broom stick and hit some garbage bags repeatedly in her patio and cried and screamed that I ruined my life when I left her.. which traumatized her since then cus she even fainted at some point when she got scared, thinking I was going to o some harm to her... but that's another story..).

Before this incident (with the dinner):
I gave her an engagement ring, she kept it but didn't agree to engage....

I took her to a fair, won a lilttle unicorn for her in one of those shooting games.. spent a ton of $ by getting on every ride with her... then I gave her some jewelry

....see what I mean?

Sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar. I loved your retoric.

Very good actually. They stopped me twice a couple of nights ago. They're very stupid and I'm experienced at it.

Guys, the situation is far more dire than you'd think... read my first reply... I mean....... she's really... REEEEAAAALLLY pissed and resented and hurt for all the awful things she saw over the course of 7 years.... and she doesn't have a car. And yeah, I messed up when I scared her so badly but.... we had this huge argument bcus of what happened with that asshole and.... I was feeling FUCKING TERRIBLE....

I mean........ man........ I've been feeling horribly for the last few months since this shit started.... she won't talk to me.... she yealls at me and insults me... although the also cries when we've been arguing and one night she said "...and you screwed it up cus.. you were the only one I could cry with! ask my mom or my best friend (some gay guy), they've never seen me cry!"

"....you were the only person with whom I could come home and be hugged and feel protected and conforted from everyday shit or whatever problem I had.. and when you scared me you ruined it!".

Also, bfore this dinner-scare incident, when I was still able to go and see her at her house.. one night there was a small get-together with her relatives and friends.... at one point I said out loud to every one that I think she's very sweet. Everyone there replied "wtf.. when is she sweet?!". Apparently she's only sweet to me and I never noticed. That's right, that was the first time I ever earned about this.......

This is the most retarded shit I've ever heard. She clearly doesn't want to be with you. Move the fuck on dude. Do you not realize that planning a fake stabbing would be even more traumatizing for her to witness?

yeah you're a fucking psychopath and i hope you die in an actual robbery before traumatizing this poor girl again

..........either that or........... she'll finally snap and think "holy shit, this guy REALLY cares about me, he even risked his life for me ..and also, I even experienced the actual fucking possibility of seeing him drop DEAD. Like this time... if he dies... he's GONE, forever.

That should really shake her up real fucking deep and truly make her realize she too cares about OP.

Makes sense to me.

EMT here, so getting poked in the bowel enough to actually cut into intestines is fucking retarded for several reasons

1) intestines large or small is rife with gut Flora that could give a bad bad infection if you aren't super lucky

2) medical bills are so fucking expensive surgery is going to cost a hell of alot more than a few dates with someone new

3) your friend could face legal trouble for literally assaulting you with a deadly weapon

4) this plot to get your old flame back that you lost because you can't see something good if it stabbed you in the guts is also psychopathic and sounds like pure lunacy

5) if she left you finally after all that, this won't get her back, and I'd wager nothing will

6) back to EMS, if something goes wrong like he stabs you anywhere above your intestines by accident, you could face seriously worse medical issues like a fucked liver or stomach

7) get help lmao

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So what you're saying is you tried too hard? Don't you think getting stabbed is trying too hard also? Sounds like you need to stop trying so hard. You're forcing it. Sometimes it's hard to realize it when you're doing it.

well yeah.... might work and dont seem so crazy if u see it that way.

Okay OP, I think your friend stabbing you will work, but the only way it will require surgery is if you get hit very deep, the intestines are around 6 inches into your body believe it or not.

This guy's trying to get OP killed. Come on. 2 inches should do the trick. Maybe 2.3 tops.

wtf no im not ive been stabbed in the gut before guy cut like 5.7 inches deep and the ERZ doctor said i was like cuz a third of an inch more and i would have needed emergency surgery. Im skinny btw

He could be a fat fuck lmao.

read

....and during this get together.... when she was pretty drunk she said "we should have baby, with red hair like your beard!". Her nieces were sleeping on her bed and she saw them on her way back to the living room. She was once again calling me sweet names and kissing me and stuff.......... and I was like "see how u love me? u called me 'my love'... and said "let's have a baby..."
So no, it's not as simple as "she dont like you, move on".

And the drunkeness is no excuse. I've been drunk myself, I know it only brings out and amplifies your true feelings.

Forat of all you are one pathetic faggot, secondly even if you managed to get back with her you're both going to be miserable and you'll end up killing her. Mark my words, you obsession will result in nothing but disaster.

Sounds like a nice end to the story.

No OP, the stab yourself idea is gold it'll definitely work trust me I'm a doctor you'll be fine

what makes u say it'll work?

You don't deserve her you sic fuk. Move on so she can move on.

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because it makes perfect sense, if you lay down your life for her she will realize you love her and she loves you.

Exactly.

That's what I thought ..but everyone says i'm crazy.... I'm not crazy nor am I stupid. A couple inches should do it. It's all going to be rehearsed. My friend's escape route is well planned, he even happens to have a storage place where he can hide just a few blocks aways from where the assault will take place. I even put some posters on the walls the other night, several blocks around the very site where she is going to be intercepted that day. She commutes here everyday. The posters alert people in the neighborhood that some thugs have been mugging people in the last few days. It's supposed to make it more believable.

I don't think it's a terrible idea, as long as it's perfectly executed.

Thats very sweet

.......and even 2" sounds a bit too much.

18 inches or it won't.

Forgetting the moral issues for a moment.

Acute peritonitis from a ruptured bowel, could either kill you, or leave you a gimp.

It doesn't have to go into your gut, and you don't need a surgery so 2 should be enough. But if you really want a hole in your intestine it should be longer. Watch humans autopsy video. There's plenty of distance between the skin and the intestine.

You are a literal piece of shit. I hope you end up with a shitbag after the surgery.

Well, I'm very skinny. I think the distance between my skin and bowels can't be longer than roughly a couple of centimeters...

The point of the surgery is to have her in the waiting room, worrying like hell.... thinking "oh my god, he might die, and he risked his life defending me... oh my god, oh my god, oh my god oh my god!.....

..and also, to make it all look pretty damn serious so this whole thing really gets to her.

Get stabbed in the right side of your abdomen liver has extreme regenation and you should be ok in a couple of weeks.

hahahaha

So your friend is more than willing to stab you? Hell of a friend, I'm jealous

He was 3 yrs in prison. He knows his craft.

Truth always comes out at some point. There's gonna be a day when she finds out about this and she's gonna be SO repulsed by it that she'll want nothing to do with it and you'll go crazy again

Then, you'll hunt her down like the deranged little boy you are and leave her like your first picture. Just walk away, guy..

Your so called boy is going to tell her what you did eventually. After he will be the one fucking her. dont trust everyone bro

This is borderline psychopathic. I'm not even trying to be funny seek professional mental help before you wind up dead or in prison.

I know her and I seriously doubt it. Even in the remote case that she ever finds out... which surely, would not be until at least 2 years have passed.. I'm totally confident that she would not even care anymore. Worst case scenario: she feels somewhat disturbed by it but she goes... "well, at least he actually went through all this trouble just for me. That's something."

If he was in prison...that mean he was bad at being a criminal.

Also, i’m all for chaos and people ending up getting killed because they came back with their psychotic exes but still...

You’re getting crazy my man.
Like legit crazy.
And if you are not scared anymore of getting stabbed or anything just to get her back, try this.

Leave everything behind, throw your shit in the trash and just fucking fill a bag up and leave, go take drugs, go eat a nasty bitch pussy.

You dont care anymore, rigth?
Then show it.
She left, she wont come back, she should never come back, you said it yourself, she worshiped you and you were abusive.

Others are gonna worship you in the future.
But start by working on you.

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why exactly do you need the surgery?

Your knife plan is stupid btw. You'd be better off falling on a razor sharp samurai sword and having it go straight through your body.

so many things can go wrong. ur gonna die for a slut

Yeah.. That's not how logical people think hahaha

Unless she's also off her rocker, then you two fucking deserve to be miserable together

Borderline? Lmao

that wouldn't be her reaction at all.

how did you fuck up the relationship in the first place? you are making yourself out to be the most incel neckbeard idiot fuck on Yea Forums i've ever seen

just put the knife all the way in already. if your that desperate for something so stupid its already too late

uhmm......... nah........
one little question: why going to this extreme, with all the precautions... is crazy?

I think extremes must be avoided .... but there may be extra rare exceptions where extremes are just the way to go. Period. I've been and will be way more miserable if she's not there. No matter what. End of story.

I think all these ppl claiming this is insane are just cowards and pussies who and can't handle such elaborate and extreme possibilities.

And yes, I was a jerk.. but there's a very deep background to the story. Life gave me scars that turned me into the asshole I became, it was depression and deep internal sorrow and not for the pleasure of being abusive. Doesn't mean I don't repent and regret my mistakes, one of which was leaving her... it's jut that life is far more complex than the comfortable and safe paths what these pussies wish it was. It's not.

Says some random fuck who doesn't know shit about her versus the guy who spent 8 years of his life with her.

Some women have fell deepply in love with serial killers, they have married them even after they get incarcerated. Some women want hit men and drug cartel mobsters as their partners.... it's not like you ALWAYS have to be the charming prince or they won't look at you, you know?

You guys just don't get women.....

Just get him to slash your face, you'll still get surgery and wont risk dying of some shit infection. Plus every time she looks at you she's going to feel bad for you having the scar.

Your 172cm and 53kg.... How old are you??

With everything you described I can tell you without a doubt that things won't go as planned. Even if this stunt gets you in her good graces again, it's just a matter of time before your behaviour has her running again.

In the meantime. Read some stories about others that tried this. Riddled with failures and injuries.

Sorry to tell you man, but you are really delusional to think this will win her back. Even if it does, it’s for the wrong reasons. Take a lesson out of it, don’t treat your loved ones badly. Also as a doctor I can tell you this plan can really go wrong. Can imagine that in the heat of the moment your friend might stab miss and hit something vital instead. Like others said, acute peritonitis is no joke and might kill you, hitting your liver might mean you bleeding death.
TLDR; don’t be a fuck up and accept your loss.

She'll see the scar on the abs almost everyday. It'll work just as well.

Somewhere between the 20s and the 40s. Why?

Couple inches is enough. You should slice from left to right on the abdomen as deep as you can for extra realism. Also remember to use a rusty and dirty knife for butter smooth slicing.

>THIS.FUCKING.THREAD.WTF OP.

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Its dubs op
You gotta do it

No.... I truly won't be the same asshole I used to be. I know that cus.. I don't even feel like it anymore. I don't feel the drive. Honestly.

I says no. And what causes peritonitis (I mean, what exactly in the process of making a wound causes it)? And it's not the wrong reasons. Read this . She eeps thinking I'm bad news and I'm never gonna change, but she's wrong.. I did and I would not be the same jerk. And it ain't no loss, she still loves me.. she just need something REAL fucking strong and that'll make her realize both: that I do care, to the point where I would lay my life down for her.. and two, that she does loves me and when she's faced with the feeling of "holy shit, he might actually die" she'll know that she's got to stop her stupid "I'm not gonna yield" attitude which is nothing but just causing pain to both of us. Simple as that.

Hahahah this is hilarious! I like you OP, however, I think you misinterpret how your body will react to a stabbing.

With that said, (you can look up all the terminology) get stabbed in the lower half of the small intestine, called the ileum. Theres a good chance that bile acids will escape, cause sepsis, and destroy portions of your large intestine, but hey who cares? Stabbing too high in the jejunum will destroy your ileum anyway... As for depth, go to town, regardless of how big the cut is, you are going to leak some cool acids into your blood and surrounding organs, I recommend you employ the go big or go home strategy. If you realllllly want to show care for the girl, eat a large portion of acidic food about 2 hours prior to the show. The chyme should have passed but the juicy acids will be ready to burst into your blood supply and experience the cannibalistic freedom that is usually halted by mucus layers in your intestines!

I suggest a bastard sword

Dubs again. Holy shit, it's a sign. Will do and will work.

Dubs AGAIN

Holy mother of fuck.............................

> how long does this blade have to be in order to pierce the small intestines just a little bit?
>and to make a small wound in my intestines.
>I'm desperate to get back with ex gf
i hope you die you retarded motherfucker

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>plebbit spacing
you have to go back

And once more............................... I believe in this shit............... fuck all these pricks. It's gonna work.

And lots of people have been stabbed in the abs way worse than it's gonna hit me and survived....... all this fear seems way out of proportion to me.

Bad idea get him to smack you around put a noose around your neck sream "THIS IS MAGA COUNTRY!!!" Wait a few hours leave noose around neck call cops. Remember video cans has to only catch you walking off video and then stumbling back on camera. If you want he can take your laptop bag, wallet, dildos, buttplugs, and lube.

Profit

.................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand check 'em again

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

>It's gonna work.
of course!

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For sure it is!! There no possible way it doesn't.

holy autism

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Just neck yourself you fucking psycho. She's legitimately better off without you.

What a shame it will never happen though,

Okay i wanna try something with you rigth now if you are okay with this.

We are all anonymus here.
Just tell us.

You still love her its clear and you are hurt and have good reasons to be.

And what i’mgonnasay willmake you mad as hell but still...

She loved you.

Now what hurt?
The fact that she stopped loving you?
Or that you can now see why she migth have been rigth to do so.

Not meaningyou are a bad person,
But just that your relationship had to end, and it ended too late to keep her friendship.

You will think about her on your deathbed,i’m sorry but it is the truth.

But until then, find Who are your real friends and just be pure and openwith them.

Wish i could offer you a beer ora joint and pat your head op.
You are not alone, thats manhood, acting as if we dont want to cry all the time.

Dont put any of that on your friend’s shoulder.

Give it time.
Dont see life as a «after her».
You are both part of a big chunck of your lives, just give yourself time.

No hate can last 10 years between those who used to be in love.

Only regret remain.
Do you know Regret?
Ever talked to her?

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It's going to happen. I'll even tell you when. About a couple weeks from now. By the 15th or 16th I'll probably see the results so........... I'll be back here telling you all about it.
ALL OF YOU FAGGOTS... IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW THE STORY DEVELOPED BE BACK HERE ON THE AFOREMENTIONED DATES AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

yes. have talked to her million times in every possible way. talking will not work. only action. and this idea came to me as perhaps the only way to shake things up so fucking hard that she will, i bet she will, come to her senses and think "holy shit... for years i told him "you don't really love me, you just want.... (place any suitable cliche phrase here)... and I do love him and care about him too.... he might die, i watched him take the ultime risk for me.... i must give him a chance.... no one's ever done this for me and he really proved he'll do literally anything for me". she needs something as tremendous as this.

It’s gonna be so good when you will have to shit in the bag for rest of your life mate! Do it! Sure girls like guys who have to shit in a bag.

You're friend wants to murder you and the easiest way is to get you to think that you thought of it. You are 10/10 retarded.

You gonna do a Jussy Smolett!

I bet Linda would get the job done

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This is bait lmfao. How can you faggots not see that

This is OP. No bait. Come back in 2 weex n see 4 urself. Besides, I started the thread about 3 hours ago... It's past 5am... I got better things to do with my time than trolling a bunch of nobodies for entertainment. I wouldn't do this if it wasn't for real. Think harder, dumbass.

holy shit. but seriously. knew a little girl..maybe 16 get stabbed in the side with one of those cheap ass 3in. gastation folder knvies doc was talking about. she ded bro. be safe... post pics.

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This is what mentally ill white trash looks like everybody. These are the types of retards to pop out multiple babies, hop on welfare and let their pit bulls roam around without a leash eating children. I hope you die during the surgery

Stop it Jussie. You won't get away with it twice.

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This plan is beyond retarded to the point where if this went wrong it'd just be natural selection. Think better there is no situation where this actually turns out well for you its a lose lose. If you survive the stabbing in the first place, either it doesn't work and you get stabbed for nothing or it does work and your relationship becomes based on you manipulating her which cant be what you really want, completely artificial but you sound too dumb to care about that so probably not even worth mentioning.

SCHIZOPHRENIA

what

a fucking

loser

a 9 inch long blade will do just fine for what you want, just make sure he spins it when he sticks you, this will make the wound easier to heal and keep you from bleeding too much.

Listen here you Jussie Smolette mother fucker, your friend is going to go to prison. And then he's going to tell on you and you'll go to prison too.

SOMEONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SAVE A COPY OF THIS THREAD

This is better

Posting in le grand threade.

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dude its fucking over dont get stabbed over someone easily replacable

Not going to happen

Someone ban this dumb aas

you're a piece of shit

>Says some random fuck
you really don't have a good grasp on reality these days...do you? You want to get stabbed by your former inmate pal and just nick a small intestine but not actually be in any serious peril...and actually think that you "saving her" from this aggressor will win her back, and that if she ever found out about it, it would be two years down the road and she wouldn't care?

You should probably just save us all from your inability to cope with reality and shoot yourself across both hemispheres of your frontal lobes. You won't feel a thing and we'll all be better off.

here's the screenshot, give me likes niggers

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i think a good 6-7inch blade should be juuussstt right for you buddy

Nah man, a 12 inch blade, to the right side in an upwards direction should do the trick.