Oldfags give tips / advice based on past experiences / mistakes

Never get into a fight.

bump

bump

don't wife a ho

dont abuse hallucinogens

bbbump

If you know you're a failure try not to get born.

Attached: 1507986454678.gif (189x189, 1.94M)

If you fuck up and get married, in the time leading up to your actual finalized divorce, document everything. Never give your soon to be ex-anything without getting a signed receipt.

Money for the kids, items for the kids, she gets shit without a signed receipt. Document where, when and for how long you see your kids. Document when she refuses to let you see your kids. And keep back up copies.

Document every conversation you have, time date and who said what.

If you are dating and fucking a girl remember that if she is taking birth control and for some reason has to go on anti-biotics (cold, strep whatever) then those drugs render the birth control pill ineffective.

Yeah, ask me how I learned that fucking lesson. Good luck lads.

Still looking for help

I am a divorce attorney and this is 100% right on. Your lawyer will thank you.

Stop cuddling with her. Move on. She is not your crush.

If her house/room is messy, avoid. 180 out of there.

This is also excellent advice.

Health is everything - without it, you're fucked

I'll do you one further - if anyone tells you that, you MUST call their bluff immediately. Whatever they want, they don't get it. Otherwise they own you forever, because that threat never goes away.

>Never make enemies of someone with more guns than you
>Don't fap to 12yo's
>Only buy drugs from people you know
Those are the big three
>Don't stick your dick in crazy
>Everything is overrated, enjoy but don't take too seriously
>Health is one of the best things to have.
>Only trust somebody once you've seen their bad side

Attached: 1552238586279.jpg (876x960, 173K)

>health is everything
>buy drugs from people you know
What

Fuck man we are studying together, partying together, she tells me how sometimes it's not good with her boyfriend when she's drunk but then back as if everything is normal.
I like her a lot but I don't know how to let her go and forget about her, I even slept with her sister but she's different, worst part is that we will be roommates next year.

Hopefully, someone learns from my fuck ups.

Never go to Yea Forums.

> Get a vasectomy in your early 20s and don’t reverse it (which is legit, google it) unless you are 100% certain you’re ready for fatherhood

> if you must get married, wait until after 35

> follow the money and the bitches will follow you

> weights + cardio = strong body, mind, and soul

> study a martial art

bump

CHEERS LAD

Do whatever you want, fuck everyone else

Fuck as many girls as possible when youre young

Dont lose your hair

Stop thinking about deep relationships until you actually have enough money to pay well for 3 hypothetical children's lives, own a house, invested in so many things that you could do well without a job for a good amount of time (I recommend age 35).

Avoid the mainstream, if it's shiny and a lot of people seek it, it's often too good to be true. Try then to profit off the mainstream.

Seek your inner child again after you finished reinforcing yourself emotionally to this grim world. Don't lose it.

Life's not about good or bad, right or wrong, blessings or curses. Life's about beauty and humbleness.

Go get a life instead of wasting it on here

when you're interviewing for a job, try to establish what it is you can do that the employer can't do for themselves, or that they don't have the time or inclination to do.

either you have a skill they need, or you are willing to do boring/tiring/dirty shit they don't want to. it has to be worth them paying you to do that shit, otherwise there's no point in them employing you.

a job isn't like a free hand-out. it's not a right. it has to make financial sense.

fucking checked. thanks user.

if she has a boyfriend but will fuck around with you, then she'll fuck around with anyone.

Just be. Stop worrying all the time, it doesn't help.

And don't worry if she's thinking about you or not, it doesn't help, and there's always someone else. If it's meant to be it'll be.

Top 3 are degenerate.

stop coming here and stop worrying about shit

So is writing a 750 dollar child support check, every fucking month.

Pick your poison.

>>oldfags give tips / advice based on past experiences / mistakes.

Leave here now
Wear your PPE when working with dangerous chemicals
Fuck the ugly chick, when you're older and don't get pussy as much, you'd wish you had
Get a hobby, playing Vidya doesn't count.

last one is cringe.

>Fuck the ugly chick
Thats bullshit, never lower your standards, I mean you could but not so low enough youll fuck the ugliest chick with no ass

>what to do when your crush has a boyfriend but you still cuddle with her and everytime she leaves or talks with her boyfriend you want to kill yourself?
You're deep into the Friendzone, get out of it one way or another

Shouldn't have fucked a random whore or rushed into a relationship.

As long as it's not some meme "martial art" like judo.

I did neither. But thanks for the sage advice.

We can thank our grand fathers for granting women equity.

Your first crush / relationship is probably not the best choice as it usually stems from camaraderie. Seek out people that you find weird and intriguing whilst not feeling violated with your core principles. Godspeed.

Never fight

You are making things worse. Keep fucking her sister and cut off the crush chick. Moving in with her sets you up for more heart break down the road. If she was going to give up the puss it would have already happened. Good luck to you.

There's a lot of bloody good stuff in this thread, but this one hits home the most for me personally. Any tips on how to just be? I find myself constantly in my own head analysing my thought processes.

Attached: 5EcPh2d.jpg (1260x736, 212K)

Develop your own personal style.
Stop watching TV and read books.
If you must get a degree, then, get a skill like medicine, nursing, welding, car repair.
There are a ton of fags with English degrees and PhD's working for shit at the Starbucks.

this is becoming redundant

but great digits.

Also I really recommend people read this one. It's a classic in my opinion

It is quite sad to say bcause I am a fkng romantic and shiet but, don't ever think that a pretty face cutest-ever babe is that innocent and not lusting for cocks... in my experience, this gurl was soo promiscous... and I laughed when we were making out while she was texting his boyfriend. She was crazy too... as I said, sad but true in many cases.

Not even based on a last mistake just based on used to not now I do and it's way better so:

If you aren't doing this already, set it up:
The day after you get paid, set up automatic withdrawals. Have a fraction of every bill paid. The withdraw a reasonable allowance (you should never deprive yourself. You need a bit of enjoyment. Sorry if you're too poor for this right now. I do understand you.) So you have cash in hand and you can physically see how much you have.

If you're broke and full time job isn't doing it, Sign up for door dash or post mates or Uber or something. It's life saving.

Either take her by force or move on, those are the only two options

Checkem

All girls want the D. Period.

Not keen on the rape idea but OP, I'm afraid you're going to have to do your best to move on. Don't let her fuck with you - you've got better things to be getting on with and you'll look back when you're not blinded by emotion and wonder how it could've all been so distracting.

> (You)
>>Fuck the ugly chick
>Thats bullshit, never lower your standards, I mean you could but not so low enough youll fuck the ugliest chick with no ass

Oh hell no, I mean the one butterface with the 10/10 body or the QT with the stuttering problem....

>Mid-late twenties I would always go out drinking with the same group of people
>Some friends, friends of friends, that type
>Goofy looking chick with a HUGE set of tits on a small little frame started joining us
>erection.exe
>She would talk, and just stutter and slur her words, almost unbearable to listen to. She almost sounded retarded
>dedboner.bat
>Still hung out with her, because them titties

Flash forward 12 years, I ran into her last summer. Now she's smoking hot, 12/10, still has the huge tits and smoking little body. She doesn't stutter/ go potato. Turns out they found a benign growth pushing on her brain and a simple operation removed it. Sadly, she's married.

FUUUUUUUUUU

A stable non crazy average looking woman is far better in the long run. If you cannot carry on a conversation with a woman without just wanting to fuck all the time you can be sure it ain't going to work long term.

"Hot" women are always high maintenance drama queens who will fuck you over every time.

Then you're not living in the moment. And if you're not in the moment, then you are trying to live in the past or future... contemplating the past, and predicting the future.

You need to feel "centered." I believe that's what music does for me. And if we could have that same effect on our own... that'd be it.

Maybe try doing like a 30 minute guided meditation on youtube...

I mean, it depends on the situation. Sometimes raping her is the best choice

thanks user

My initial reaction to meditation was what I believed to be healthy skepticism, but as time's gone on I'm increasingly thinking there may well be something to it.

Quit LARPing faggot. If you feel you have to rape a woman you are a pathetic cum guzzler with shit for social skills. You are a loser.

I don't fully agree with him but he's clearly a wise man.
Number 5 made me come.

As for just being, that's not as easy for some as others. I'll include a video with this that's helpful. I've had modest exposure to psychology education, and one thing I learned is chatter is something your brain just kind of does. It's nearly impossible to have a state of quiet, and if you were analysing your own thought process you'd be analysing something else or playing movies in your head.

If you mean rumination (your own shortcomings and failures), that, for me went away as i got older I can't really say why but if I had to guess, I had much much bigger problems than "what do people think of me?" Or "why am I like this?" Which made it all look and feel.silly after awhile I guess... Really hard to.cry about your brain not being how you want it to.be when your wife lost her job and is on month 3 of unemployment and you can't feed the dogs and pay the rent. Dig?

youtu.be/4PkrhH-bkpk

Do not worry about what others' opinions of you are. What other people think of me is none of my business.

LARPing what? giving advice lol? There's a reason most rapes are commited by people women trust

Yeah I agree, number five is a punch to the ego in exactly the way I needed to be less of an arrogant twat.

It's reassuring to hear that the chatter is normal; I suppose it's just part of having an evolutionarily designed brain which is just about good enough rather than the perfectly efficient processing machine.

I don't care as much about what others think as I do about, as you so aptly put it, "why am I like this?". It's almost as if I've set myself the impossible task of working out my human condition in its entirety so I can then work out how to fix it. Not a successful strategy, I assume.

I'll watch that video now, thanks.

bump. god tier thread user, although i know there are more screencaps like anyone got them?

Utter complete fucking tripe. As a male there may be a time that you have to fight. Someone threatens or attacks your mate or your children deserves an ass whooping. This kind of pussy never fight bullshit is why men are turning into whiny faggot ass soy boys. As a male it is your traditional role to fight.

That said: I don't get into fights over what people say to me. The only times I have been in physical altercations is when someone has laid hands on me or attacked. Words mean nothing, More often than not what people say about you is actually how they see themselves. Insecurity abounds in this world.

You are still a cum guzzling faggot.

You are larping as an actual human being. our are still the syphilitic cum that dripped out of your mothers ass.

So. Fucking. True.

>Why am I like this

Well I'll give you this hot tip too at least then. I don't know if others had this outcome but in my late teens early 20s I was obsessed with being better (it was an insecurity thing for sure).

Over time I learned that forcing change about yourself is like making a wish on the monkey paw. It has ironic consequences.

I wanted to be more confident so I became arrogant. I wanted to be more kind so I became fake. I wanted to be more calm so I became more anxious.
You'll grow and change as needed. If you don't like the way you're going, the problem is more likely your environment. (Shitty friends, job, city, hobbies) Not you.

Lots of younger people severely underestimate how expensive it is to move out on your own. My advice is to do your best to estimate your monthly expenses (rent, food, utilities, gas, insurance, whatever else) then double that amount. That will be the amount you really need.

Also, talk to girls out of your league. Most of the time you will fail, but every now and again you'll end up banging a hottie.

Don't get married

Anyone who tells you not to stick your dick in crazy is NOT a friend. Stick your dick in as much crazy as you can, the sex is worth it, but DO NOT get too attached or get her pregnant

thanks user. good shit. i'm tugging at this thread.

Lots of negativity, have you had a friendzone experience that you couldn't escape?

This is some excellent advice.

DO NOT EVER SIGN UP FOR A "GROUP INTERCESSION" TO GAIN "HONOR POINTS" WITH YOUR EMPLOYER!
dont

This!!

Write down all of your expected expenses. Now double it (except rent, I think that's fair) That's more like it.
Now triple it. Sometimes life's going to hurl a sack of bricks at you and your month will look more like that.

Have. Savings. And. Credit.

Dont fucking get married

No. I just think your advice to rape women means:
A: you are a sociopath. or
B: A faggot who larps as a hard ass ultra macho type when in reality you wear panties and let your partner peg you every night. or
C: an ugly fat guy with no social skills who couldn't get laid even if you had a silicone 12 year old fuck buddy.

don't take advice from anyone who's been here long enough to be considered an oldfag

>Continue working your physical years away, squandering every moment into oblivion in the persuite of a nontangible object when the earth can feed you and nurture you, with polio and syphilis still, man can make your wounds heal but cant fathom the thunder under the mountains. We will rebuild, and on this mound lies our truth. But yeah, dont waste your life on money, its sad.

>wear rubbers
>fuck the sister
>grab the moms ass
>fuck the mom as well if you can
>dont marry
>dont have kids
>stay with job you love
>smoke weed every day
>keep cumming in everybody's food they're never gonna find out

D: A transvestite transformer transferring trans Atlantic telephone transmissions.

Correct. It sucks. No one owed you anything good. Make the most of it. If you can escape that crap, by all means do it. I suggest looking into passive income.

But crying about it won't make anything happy. If it makes you feel any better the singularity is coming. If the robots are cool we may enter into an authoritarian Utopia. That'd be pretty dope, huh? Betcha you won't have to work.

I have to agree with this somewhat. Money cannot be converted into time.

This turnt.
Buddy, there isnt a thing money can do for you but lead to issues, no money no problems

Sociopath sounds about right, sometimes it's in everyone's best interests for a girl to be raped

Best advice on the board with the exception of just don't marry and get a cohabitation agreement

I think youve way misjudged how life works bro.
Don't get me wrong, if you want to live in the woods or on the street and you can make that work go for it.
But you kind of need to participate in this merit system we've got going, rigged or not..

Not never. But if you can avoid it, then do so. As an adult there's a certain respect for people who can de-escalate situations where everyone can walk away.

If you have no choice, then make sure you know then to quit otherwise you go from self-defense to assault.

Attached: 1522988734075.jpg (1080x1080, 175K)

I make 65k a year doing my job, im home 2 or 3 days every 21, i do this because i have a child to raise, but if i had the choice id eat from rivers and clean myself in them also.

Part of it's just making sure you date/marry people who are financially savy and stable. If you can both prosper by yourselves, then you will REALLY prosper together. Many expenses can be shared such as monthly bills and mortgage.

Attached: 1509504580505.jpg (640x799, 48K)

Good advice if youre a giant antisocial pussy

Truth. I get a lot of women this way. Don't understand people's attachment to them though.

>If I had a choice
So you do understand. Really easy to say "if only".

Number 1,2,3 and 4 are based advice, do it! You'll love it!
5 and 6 depends on your life goals.
7 is somewhat solid, just want to add that you can do other things then have a job, you could start a business.
8 and 9 is just fucking degenerate advice.

drunk asshole "friends" ((play fight))
next thing homie getting a brain full of load barring steel in the basement, long story short. i kno about a kool MF, that died and wasn't a accident, god bless family&fuck drunks

>Anyone who tells you not to stick your dick in crazy is NOT a friend. Stick your dick in as much crazy as you can, the sex is worth it, but DO NOT get too attached or get her pregnant

Isn't that the whole point of not sticking your dick in crazy? Faggot.

I keep a spreadsheet at home of my income, taxes, 401k, Roth IRA, rent, bills, and misc expenditures.

"If you don't tell your money where to go, then you'll be figuring out where it all went."

I do this to make sure I'm not unncessarily spending more money as well as setting financial goals for myself. A majority of people cannot handle a crisis in life. You can if you're prepared.

Doing this also gives me more "fun" money to play with. I can allocate it to a trip or something.

Attached: 1464543336981.jpg (900x1200, 311K)

Do NOT put your finger inside the 6 year old, even though she asks you really nicely and no-one's going to interrupt you for 3 hours. And REALLY don't ask her kiss it when you're just about to come.

But 10 years later it's perfectly fine to do both, and then enter into a relationship that has yet to end.

Attached: vlcsnap-00021.jpg (480x360, 51K)

>I mean, it depends on the situation.
WHAT!? How?
This thread is about giving good advice and you are literally giving advice that can ruin multiple lives at once.

Yeah that's the ironic part isn't it?
When I didn't budget I was broke and never had fun money and couldn't keep up with bills.
When I did I was ahead on bills and could do whatever I wanted. Well solve where socks disappear to before we crack this one.

this user here again.

Again you got me thinking, in which situation is raping a girl in "everyone's best interests"?

I think he's trolling bro.

Isn't what the whole point? Your question isn't really clear. Probably because you're stupid

Your faggotry is pretty clear though.

have fun with your higher divorce rates, worrying about bills, and making sure she doesn't jack up your credit card.

I'll be having fun

I was kinda hoping, but the again, this is Yea Forums and some of the the people who come here is a bit out there..

Sick burn bruh. You really got me good

Wear your failures as a badge of honor. Move on and learn from your mistakes.

What the fuck dude

Drugs are fun

Don't have kids. They're expensive and huge energy sinks. Money is super, super, unbelievably, extremely important. Don't go to college right away unless you have a scholarship or are rich or whatever. Avoid pretty much all debt. Buy used toyotas or hondas. Live well below your means. Build relationships with people you value. Life is basically pretty much bad constantly, so you have to find meaning in your suffering, or else you're going to drink yourself to death

a woman who fucks around might fuck around with you. case of getting the low hanging fruit.

best advice so far...

-don't get married; but if you do, get a prenup.
-choose your battles (figuratively and literally)
-just be, live in the moment
-be kind to yourself, others will follow.
-budget
-don't fuck crazy, but if you do, then wrap it the fuck up.

any other anons wanna help wrap this up?