Hey Yea Forums. Long time lurker, very infrequent poster...

Hey Yea Forums. Long time lurker, very infrequent poster. I've been depressed since I was 12 and the only thing that's made me not regret putting a gun in my mouth has been my relationship with my gf (3 years this month) but we recently just split (not bad terms, not my choice) and I think I'm finally content with the decision to kill myself

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And how old are you? Just a curious cat, not gonna report you or anything.

are you +19 ?

21. Almost 22.

lol, you are young.
Do you live alone?

With my mom and brother. Was helping pay Bills for a while

Don't you think that your actions may led to both your mom and brother end up killing themselves from the pain?

Nah. My brother is a half brother, doesnt care about family. Hes just a mooch and has no sense of connection to any of us. And I've already talked to my mom extensively about this. Shed be sad, but she understands

I was the Suicide Kid when I was your age, too. The road seemed long and filled with unending horror. But it got better. It will for you, too. If your life sucks, go out and find a better one. Shit, you're starting at death's door: what have you got to lose?

It's kind of weird because I know I could do a lot with my life. I come from a good family, I'm not a dumb kid and I've excelled in the places I've worked. It's more just, I dont think I really find it worth it living everyday hating it. I can count the days i havent thought of putting a gun in my mouth on one hand.

Where do you live, Europe?

Also I'm not particularly looking for advice or affirmation or anything and I'm definitely not looking to argue for arguings sake. I'm not honestly sure why i even made the post but here we are

Good bye friendo

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US

Checked. OP is proud of you

I know what it feels but I think experiencing life is better than absolute nothing. Have you thought about how rare was for the universe to create you? You could have had born in a different context and end up being murdered by some right wing extremist. Learn to see the value of life further than what you feel.

I definitely see what you're saying, and I'll try to keep that in mind. I have no intentions to kill myself within the next week (I'm waiting on something). So maybe just different perspectives and whatnot will get me to the point that I want to drudge through the days again. Thanks.

You are welcome.

die, but not literally.
just fucking start a new life in some fucking town.
If not go to Tijuana, do hookers and cocaine. you will eventually die.

That was a thought of mine. But I personally think empty living is worse than death.