I need some advice here, fellas, there's a lady pacing around my property. It's 11:30 and I've no idea what to do...

What kind of person who lives in the middle of nowhere doesn't have a gun? Your 17 so I assume that you live with your parents and your dad probably has a gun somewhere. Try his nightstand or maybe dresser or closet

(checked)
i'd go say hi

OP Here

A picture would just be pitch black, there's no point.

Post a picture or it isn't real, faggot

You said that there was a light out there

1 single street light at the end of my driveway, that's in front of my yard. She's towards the back,

Call the police.

Makes sense

OP i got you fam, heres what you do
go in your mom or sister's room and find a robe
strip naked and put that shit on
turn this song on FULL blast:
youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ
Open the window and start dancing in front of it
BE SURE she can see you and hear the song
that bitch will NOT fuck with you

If no one is around then shoot you dad's gun.

Fire a warning shot and watch what she does. There is no consequence for defending yourself under age or not.