I need some advice here, fellas, there's a lady pacing around my property. It's 11:30 and I've no idea what to do...

She's screaming, and I live in the middle of the woods. What the fuck am I supposed to do??

If she’s trespassing on your property, just wait till she breaks down the door then it’s open machete season

>She's screaming
she probably needs help, you're just going to sit here and listen to her die?

kids these days...

You've done nothing of what I said. Hope she fucks you up.

I don't give a fuck what happens to her, I care what happens to me and my dog.

pics of her tits?

She's wearing a hoodie and it's pitch black

well try to get a pic of her
shit man I'd invite her in
crazy pussy is good pussy

Scream louder

she could have some accomplices hiding out there waiting for you to go see what she wants

DONT GO OUTSIDE. SHE IS MOST LIKELY NOT ALONE AND IS TRYING TO LURE YOU. THE SMALL THING IN HER HAND COULD BE A KNIFE OR A SMALL GUN.SHE IS BAIT TO LURE YOU OUT AND THE HYPOTHETICAL OTHER PERSON COULD KILL YOU AND YOUR DOG. But then again she could need help. It's really a 50/50 shot, user.

op is a coward

OP Here

This crazy bitch is miles away from any other part of civilization. This is how horror movies start, don't trust it.

Get a high power LED flashlight and something blunt. Nut up on her ass. If she's crazy shine the light right in her eyes and start swinging.

Oh also call the police right now then in about 18 minutes see what she wants.

>raid parents liquor cabinet
>pour big glass of vodka
>bitches love vodka
>stir in crushed up sleeping pills
>open door
>leave cup on porch as offering
>collect her unconscious body later
>??????
>profit

dude, be a man and go stick your cock in her

OP Here

Bro, my Dad's on a business trip to Kansas, my brother is out like always smoking dope. I'm alone, and miles away from anybody else. The fuck would you do?

OP has no pictures when asked to post one.
Conclusion is that there is no crazy lady and he's begging for attention. Most likely the log poster

get. a. fucking. pic. of. her.

What kind of person who lives in the middle of nowhere doesn't have a gun? Your 17 so I assume that you live with your parents and your dad probably has a gun somewhere. Try his nightstand or maybe dresser or closet

(checked)
i'd go say hi

OP Here

A picture would just be pitch black, there's no point.

Post a picture or it isn't real, faggot

You said that there was a light out there

1 single street light at the end of my driveway, that's in front of my yard. She's towards the back,

Call the police.

Makes sense

OP i got you fam, heres what you do
go in your mom or sister's room and find a robe
strip naked and put that shit on
turn this song on FULL blast:
youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ
Open the window and start dancing in front of it
BE SURE she can see you and hear the song
that bitch will NOT fuck with you

If no one is around then shoot you dad's gun.

Fire a warning shot and watch what she does. There is no consequence for defending yourself under age or not.

OP Here

I did, gonna be a while.

inb4 this faggot strolled over from /x/ after reading one too many skinwalker threads

Dad took his.357 with him, his gun safe (That keeps his 20 gauge and ar-15) is locked. He Won't tell me

ayye i live in kansas

fucking KEK do this please!!
op its probably one of your brother's friends
they know you're home alone
post a vocaroo or whatever its called of her screaming
we need some proof here

Noise is 100% your best weapon if you're untrained in any way. If she approaches the house or confronts you just be loud as fuck. If you have speakers just blast some crazy ass sounds. Not just music, but like dogs barking. Seriously. Noise is the best thing you have to bluff with.

A shotty? Perfect. Spam call him until he answers then open the safe get the 20 gauge and go outside for a game of Simon says.

This is literally your worst course of action if you've never fired a gun before. You'll knock yourself out or worse.

911 operator: 911 whats your emergency?
OP: yeah there's some crazy lady on my property screaming and im home alone
911 operator: she hot?
OP: huh?
911 operator: what?
OP: what?
>glass breaking
crazy lady in background: DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?!
911 operator: oh shit bro, run!
OP: *screaming*
>dial tone

Attached: funny-dog-emergency-calls-reverend-scott-fb2__700-png.jpg (700x367, 29K)

you better deliver with pics of when the cops show up
with timestamp too

>worst course of action if you've never fired a gun before.
Only some who never touched a gun would say that. Guns are easy If you have the slightest idea of what you are doing.

>If you have the slightest idea of what you are doing
> if you've never fired a gun before

???????

>assuming this kid doesn't play cod all fucking day long

checked

Attached: Screenshot_20190310-223320_Chrome.jpg (168x187, 13K)

She is a meth head. Call the cops immediately. You are in eminant danger

Did I stutter faggot? The dad is a gun owner. He has been around guns enough to know how to shoot.

Give her a copy of Mein Kampf

Keep your eyes on the prize. if you lose track of her, you're dead meat.

op is either dead, larping or the cops showed up
zero probability hes recording sound like requested as proof

>should know how to shoot
>if you've never fired a gun before

?????????????????????????????

OP Here

I've only 1 copy. :/

wheres the fucking audio recording faggot?
do it now