Confess

I got a fake collarbone cast that I go to the beach with. I go up to random bikini babes and ask them to rub sunscreen lotion on my back, because I can't do it myself. I've gotten sympathy and a boner. My hope is that one day one will ask me to return the favor and I can rub lotion on her boobs and butts and stuff, but so far no.

Fucking stupidity beyond comparison

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

Attached: 8302194414218.jpg (2560x1024, 372K)

pic of proof?

Attached: 1551239918886.jpg (615x615, 75K)

i love bonnie

Attached: 1543776854831.jpg (1000x1054, 147K)

i love dis slut

Attached: 1543759093239.jpg (296x866, 94K)

emma's love

Attached: 1543776854842.jpg (1001x1478, 522K)

i'm a whore cooked AMA

Attached: 1543776854846.jpg (800x1200, 102K)

So what kind of cast would you use?

don't be shy
tell me more

Attached: 1523086431323.jpg (1024x768, 172K)

Attached: uttphistoryx.png (799x424, 239K)

i love to touch titties a lot.
i'm a gynomedfag

Attached: 1543776854847.jpg (1000x899, 172K)

i'ts gay wearing my exgf pink panties?

Attached: 1138368992188.jpg (781x617, 69K)

Sexiest man alive

Attached: FBI CYBERSQUAD.png (1079x595, 668K)

I accidentally left the butter out for half a day then just put it back in the fridge

Attached: kJNNxZB.jpg (811x627, 188K)

I went to Tijuana in search of a "donkey show", only to find there is no such thing. Some pretty dirty stuff going on at the strip clubs though.

I fucked my stepsister on her 21st birthday. She was drunk, and I was drunk, but we knew what we were doing. The next morning she said she was going to have to act like it didn't happen. Since then it's been brought up by her twice. Once when she was drunk and she wanted me to pick her up, she said "if I come over it's just to sleep." And the other when I mentioned my girlfriend is moving in with me.

It's tearing me apart because I realized that we're more compatible than me and my girlfriend and I can't have her. She seems to want to do it again and keeps finding reasons to be in my city.

It's pretty fucked. If we did, it would rip the family apart for sure.

Attached: 154646781162015.jpg (720x862, 459K)

I got to my girlfriend's little brother's birthday party earlier. He's 8. His cake was in the fridge in the garage. I saw the cake, so chocolatey and full of rainbow sprinkles, and I...surreptitiously took a swipe of the frosting from the side.

It was UNBELIEVABLE! I had to have more, and I couldn't wait. Just a little pinch of frosting from the side. They'll never know. Before I knew it, I had gotten a little of the cake itself, and it was even better. One thing led to another, and I ended up taking a big, noticeable bite out of the side.

I panicked. I said I was sick and ran out of there before they went to get the cake. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered.

I get together with a bunch of fellow pervert mates every fortnight weekend to goon/tribute together for hours to nasty porn, celebrity worship, etc.

A lot of us are in relationships outside of this too (we started meeting way before we got into them) and this is our way of letting loose, revelling in degeneracy, keeping openminded and getting real comfy.

She may want to, but it's not psychologically good for either of you. Be a good man and move on with your life, so she can move on with hers.

Work is a miserable ordeal, and it is the fault of a boil on my butt I'll call "Donna". The office gimp quit, but Donna still won't let me use the handicapped parking spot. Says it's inappropriate.

So naturally, I peed on her tires. Very "inappropriate", heh heh.

Attached: portrait.jpg (640x480, 33K)

I did something very shameful when I was young. Now I try to make up for it by trying to be a real-life white night by financially and romantically supporting multiple women who are having difficult times in their lives.

I fuck the student I am "tutoring".

Lets see her pussy for prof

Thanks user. That's why I'm having my girlfriend move in. It's so tempting to go the other way on this, but I know I can't.

?

Kek

I'm sure this happens more often than one would think tbh

Post tits

I'm getting a hotel room with my ex. I seriously want to violently rape her like she fantasizes about.

Kek

like?

I saw R Kelley at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Attached: download.jpg (284x177, 9K)

Tomorrow is the last day I have to swallow my cum. February challenge almost complete! I haven't missed a day.

It's my turn to buy toilet paper. My roommates insist, but I'm always too lazy and forget. There's no toilet paper in the house, so for the past two days, I've just been taking a bath after I take a dump.

we want details

She will love and respect you for being strong.

I hate Niggers, Gooks, and injuns. So that makes me a racist

I wake up every morning and sit to pee.

I’m a male

When I was 14, I molested two young girls. Got caught, arrested, juvenile detention, tons of counseling.

I was a victim myself before that, and perpetuated the cycle of abuse.

So yeah. Now I have a few women with broken lives that I spend my time, money, and energy trying to make their lives better. It's win-win so far.

God tier quint.

The men's locker room at the gym I go to shares a wall with the women's. I noticed there was a crack in it. I'm trying to find a time when I can sneak in and open up a full glory hole.

discord..gg/PAdg6fz
(take off the extra dot)
Server with no rules, anything is allowed! Gore,loli, nudes, e-girls etc

I've cheated in every relationship I've ever been in.

I don't deserve the women I've gotten and I manipulate all of them, driving them from their families into my arms, making them depend on me. Then, once they piss me off or I get bored, I walk away from them, invariably ruining their lives. I hate the way I've done this but I feel peerless to stop it.

I go to Hooters and jack off under the table while looking at the wait staff. One time I got caught and thrown out. I'm not going back to that particular one again.

At 19 I watched my 17yr old sister shit right in front of me. Had an excellent view, I could clearly see her asshole and the whole goings on. I'm not into shit porn or anything in the least, but i was definitely hard watching this.

Unless you're kidnapping them, these women made choices to be with you. You may be a schmuck, but so are lots of guys. Be a better man next time.

How/why did this happen..?

Well I'm obvs not kidnapping them.. but I also kind of mentally dehumanize them. Makes it easier I guess. I've got a daughter now, full custody, so I really need to figure out how I can raise her right without forcing my fucked up relationships onto her, because I don't want her to think I'm normal and it's acceptable for me to be the way I am.

I've confessed this before, but I took advantage of a barely 18 year old girl who was locked in a juvie.

My wife drags me to dinner parties sometimes at the houses of people I don't ever like. As a way of private protest, I take a dump before I leave their house and I don't flush or wipe.

You're penance is to be open and honest with any woman you meet, incl your daughter. Tell the truth and try to be decent, and women will love you in spite of yourself. They're great that way.

We were at the beach, walked off away from everyone to look for bullshit on the beach or whatever you do besides swim. She said she had to shit and couldnt wait/didnt want to walk back. Eventually said "keep a look out" pulled the bikini bottom down squat and shit. I have no idea why she didnt just go in the ocean. I stared directly at her the whole time. If she saw I was hard, she didnt mention it, went in the water to rinse her ass. That's pretty much it.

Shit in the top tank next time.

> mid 30 male. Not married. Work a lot. I date but nothing serious.
> sister (29) goes through rough patch with husband. Files divorce and kicked out.
> she tells me temporarily until divorce is done and she’s back on her feet.
> thought it would be terrible living with her but she actually cleans and does shit around house. Cooks and it reminds me of my mom (passed away 3 years ago)
> few months go by and we start to hang out more. Go to bars together etc. i realize I am not talking to others and giving my sister all the attention. She does the same to me.
> dawns on me that we are acting like a date.
> come home from another normal night out of us hanging out and drinking. We get out of Uber and she’s a bit more wasted than normal. She holds onto me as she works into the building.
> get her upstairs and get her to her room. She thanks me and says she has to pee and goes back out the hall to the bathroom
> I walk into my room and kick off my shoes and start to undress. I turn around and she is naked walking down the hall.
> I knew she was good looking but damn. her tits are great and she has a little runway shaved.
> she smiles at me and turns into her room. I just stand there like what just happened.
> I walk back to her room in just my boxers and ask if she’s feeling ok as I turn the corner.
> she’s climbing into bed. I see her ass and I am beyond hard...
> “yes I am ok, but I could be better”
> I go around her bed. As she’s watching me and climb in with her.
> she turns and instantly spoons with me. My dick obviously hard against her crack.
>rickybobbywhatdoidowithmyhands.jpg
> i calm down and lay my hand on her hip and kiss her shoulder. She moans and pushes back on me.
> I do it again and she pushes back harder. Slides my hand to her tit and keeps moving her ass on me.
-almost text limit. Long story short my sister and I fucked and we have been living together now for two years. My dad thinks I’m great for helping my sister.

you're a faggot

Attached: 1543776854840.jpg (711x805, 103K)

I'm really not too bothered by it, just bumping the thread with a confession. I am who I am. And being a heavy chain smoker, I won't live long enough to see my daughter fully grow up anyway so it's really not my problem.

Dont lie faggot

I found this person on the internet that does celeb rp and I've been joining in for a while. It's a huge turn-on and i absolutely love it, especially the fact that i can take the rp in pretty much any direction i want.
I'm gonna do something food-related when there's a good prompt for it.
>pic related
>inb4 ew deviantart
ik i hate it too, but i haven't found another place that does this, so I'll deal with the shit site.

Attached: bindi_irwin_breasts_growing__by_xenoender263_dcznhib.jpg (728x1129, 125K)

Do you still fap to it?

You can leave butter out of the fridge and it won't spoil.

yes, a lot

Attached: 1138368992020.jpg (640x457, 52K)

I fell in love with a co-worker, but she is out of my league and a little older than me. We are friends, but she doesn't know the seemingly unrequited love I have for her.

As long as there aren't psyops going on to perpetuate the relationship, you are helping your sister.

how was the next morning, any regret from either of u?

Have you tried getting into her phone?

She knows. She just doesn't want the drama. Happens a lot to women. Make sure she's not playing you, and try to move on.

Not to that particular instance, but that started a period where I'd think about her when I did. Always felt kinda gross afterwards.

naw ur just hank hill and I got a man killed in 1988 when I was 5 and understood what was going on. I sleep fine and it never bothered me.

That wasn't my response. Never tried getting into her phone. We actually never got along very well. We're in our 30s now, she still lives at our parent's house

That is the problem fam, I didn't choose to fall in love with her, it just happened. It is hard to move on and find someone else when all I do is dream of her.

I sound like a fucking faggot, ik. I'm too drunk for this shit

No regrets. We went to breakfast and talked. It was like we were on the same page planning our future. She asked if my neighbors knew I was her sister and I told them no. I didn’t really talk to them.

She asked if we would be different with each other and I told her I didn’t think so. I enjoy her company and she does mine.

Us getting physical opened up a lot for her. She felt closer to me and confided a lot more than the surface issues with her marriage. How he never made time for her and cheated.

That she never expected us to hit it off like this and she doesn’t really see me as a brother since we grew apart during our adult life and now are back in each other’s lives.

I am beyond happy.. I have dated but I always felt like I gave more than I got. She is super adventurous and is pretty much down for anything. She is also working now and even pays rent... best gf/sister/roommate ever..

Attached: images.jpg (470x512, 24K)

it's true?

Attached: 1138368992187.jpg (828x627, 63K)

I run online erotic roleplays of a really dark nature. I use my friends and family as inspiration for the npcs because I get off on what the players do to them

I once fucked a porcupine at a pinball arcade and then I stuck a bowling pin in my ass. No joke. Also I secretly scratch my dick often, because I have a herpe ass crabby dick tbh.

I said I didn't like it, but I did like it.

i wear panties too

Attached: mrwiky.jpg (512x384, 11K)

I hate whites

I'm moving back home 1600 miles away from florida, and I've been clean off all drugs for over 4 years. I ended up selling my tv and sound bar for 2 grams of blow about 2 hours ago and I'm high as shit right now

Me too

My mom's friend has been molesting me since I was 11. When I was 14 she drove me and my friend to school and dropped him off but made an excuse to not drop me off just yet. She drove me to the school parking lot and jerked me off in her car and the school custodian saw, he didn't do anything though

For over a year now I have gone to sleep in restraints. Not always the entire set but usually at least some combination of them. When I'm sick or not feeling it I usually skip doing them.

Attached: 2019-02-21+8.42.58.png (982x846, 1.15M)

I've posted this before, so I made it a pasta because people kept asking for the details. I did this and it is part of why I got into both incest and amputee porn.

I drew the short straw, it was my turn to take care of my recovering aunt. She was in a wreck that nearly killed her. It mangled her arms and legs. She had her left arm, half her right arm, half her left leg above the knee, and just a little stump of a right leg. I hated the responsibility. She had an electric wheelchair, but needed help, in the bathroom and bath. When helping her, I started noticing she was still relatively hot. I seemed to forget she was a relative and missing parts. One day while helping her bath, my hands got a little pervy. She stapped my hands away. I picked her up and took her to my room. When in the bedroom, she went limp and said "Fine. Rape me. Nothing I can do about it." I went down on her until she got wet. I then slid in and began pumping. She had this look like she was up to no good. When I got close, she said "Pull out. I haven't taken the pill in a while, been kind of mangled..." then I came in her.
Blood drained from dick, brain turns back on. I suddenly realize I did something horrible, like really realized it. I wait for the hammer to drop. Bridge already crossed, I bang her regularly during the rest of the visit. When the family comes to pawn her off on the next relative she says "/user/ and I are getting along great. I don't think he will mind taking care of me from now on." Relieved and confused, I agree and my family leaves. I ask her why she did that, I wronged her horribly. She said "Quid pro quo, pervert. I need regular help. Think of this as blackmail and sexual payment."
At least she got into it. 5 years later, she moves into a group home. We never spoke about it again.

Lets take a look at her body..

Kik??

Show us your snow mountain inc ts mf

I hate you.

You should post a pic, just her naked body, no face

I pursued a sexual relationship with my mother's friend when I was 13. She was 35 at the time, had a hysterectomy (meaning bareback was always the go) with three children of her own and would often reward me with pocket money (in addition to sex ofc) as an incentive to keep hush.

Kept it up during high school/college (the most intense period, around the time I took a serious interest in bdsm dynamics and had flipped the tables on our "dynamic" to let her know I had the full power). Currently 28. She's 50. We're still at it on the side, currently in a normal relationship. Never have told a soul and I don't regret a thing. No intention of ever dobbing her in.

In bed with me now

Attached: 86D72037-9554-40D5-91A9-17360748A6C4.jpg (4032x3024, 1.17M)

Wish I could. We never recorded any evidence. Want me to crawl the web for someone that looks similar?

I have, at 24, flirted for the first time last week.

Yes please, i almost did it once with a girl like that , but time was not on our side

Boobs please, no face

*Yes please, i almost did it once with a girl like that , but time was not on our side

In school I tired to fart but crapped a little. I was scared to go back to class like that, so I pulled the fire alarm.

More stories.

Also, no pictures (for obvious reasons) but I'll provide something that resembles her as closely as possible. Ginger, bbw, white trash aesthetic.

m.xhamster.com/videos/bbw-redhead-takes-that-bbc-in-her-thight-ass-7667462

I watch this often and I'm immediately taken back to the days I turned legal to start taking more initiative in our situation to reclaim some "power" back.

She had more of her limbs than this, but the face and scars are very close.

Attached: 0-amputee.jpg (500x433, 75K)

4 years ago I started training in my country (Mexico), passed all the training tests with a + 10, when the tests ended after a year. The general in charge of our squadron chose 20 people (including me), to be part of a special unit, because our abilities, were superior to those of others, the thing is they put us in a truck, which took 2 days to get to our destination. (Sierra. in short, they took us with chapo guzmán himself, they chose us to be part of an elite squad or better known as (guerrillas), my job is to transport the drug within our unit, and sometimes we also participate in conflicts against other cartels. Is there a country as corrupt as Mexico / b/?

You're just jealous. If you could be white, you'd do it in a fucking second. You know it's the truth. Even if you're not a typical braindead nigger, the majority of the race is, so you've gotta deal with that whole stereotyping forever. No matter how hard you work, how hard you try... when someone sees you they'll think you're just like the animals they see on the TVnews every night. Punching elderly woman in the face to steal her purse, in cuffs for rape, trying to steal shit face clear as day on camera. You can't escape it, you're jealous and you blame white people that your race sucks. Get fucked, ape.

Lucky man... great story

>Confess

Okay. Keep this a secret...I am god. I have returned to earth at this particular moment to gaze upon my greatest creation.
Taylor Swift's perfect feet. Not trying to blow my own horn, but I really outdid myself here.
Oh...and...YOU'RE WELCOME.

Attached: 1545245072695.jpg (1100x1670, 785K)

Ngl, that and the og story is pretty hot.

I go to bars and drink the reminders of beers people leave behind. Like, they've left the bar, left their glasses of beer on the table with a few decent sips left in them. Free beer.

I fap to those memories to this day... that and to incest and amputee porn. The experience changed me that much.

My last gf I dated I treated like absolute garbage and had sex with her countless times, at least 3 times a day for less than a year. Ive fucked her in her sleep, came on her and got her to do various other kink until one day I got mad at her one day for not giving up the goods. We broke up she started talking to her ex, dating someone else not so long after. A year and a half later I feel pretty bad about how I've treated her and I still crave her body.

She doesn't let me fuck her very often on account of it's very risky but when we do she's always very dominant except on rare occasions. Once when I was 17 she made me take viagra and made me fuck her non stop. We did doggy and she told me to pull her hair and she kept screaming "fak me fak me hijo de tu puta madre". I creampied her 3 times that day. I think she's doing it, obviously because she's a pedo but also I think she enjoys "sticking" it to my mom, even if it's in secret

She's a favourite in our tribute community. Hosted three other guys (plus myself) to blow over her toes with interviews for inspiration at least once.

Attached: IMG_7374.jpg (537x572, 42K)

I want to fuck my down syndrome cousin, my aunt has her on a strict diet, so she is very thin, but her ass is huge, has anyone done something like that? Advices?

Same. The "still jerking to it", I mean. This is why I can't ever bring myself to out my predator as to reveal what she really is. Incest, redheads, bbw, rabbit. That kind of stuff doesn't phase me anymore when you're experiencing that first hand and have a good enough experience. Most don't.

*not rabbit, taboo

I wear panties when im alone and also in the closet

Attached: a933ee4d-bc38-440a-aa64-5a8f48c4ebb2__01.jpg (540x720, 152K)

I have a bit of a "Bride of Frankenstein Fetish". I want a girlfriend with really tall hair to act like a zombie. My ex said I just wanted Marge Simpson, which simply isn't true.

To the uninitiated, this man is claiming to be Jack the ripper, which is impossible, as he lived 130 years ago.
>inb4 why u spoiling my fun
have fun that can't be so easily spoiled, faggot.

South Africa is pretty fucked as well.

When I was a kid, my Dad would take me to his back room poker games. I would sit in the corner and watch. He only wanted me there to help him fake a heart attack of he was losing. He would give me the signal and fake an attack, then I would run screaming to the table with his pills. Got him out of paying some losses. I guess having a kid there made his scheme more credible, but we still got banned from a couple places.

Well, mostly good. It was "holy shit! Shat did I just do" moment at first. So, most of my sex is fapping when I'm too lazy to deal with the issues. My last girlfriend was a double amputee... she left me when she caught me fapping to amputee porn.

I interned for the DIA for a year after college and during that time I discovered that the US was ordering drone strikes on civilian targets in the middle east. I never found a way to leak the information to the media that wouldn't get me caught immediately but I still think about it sometimes.

Just woke up from a bottle of whiskey and a shit ton of hash. Passed out before I got to do anything good. Feel/look like shit but inevitably doomed to repeat the process. Pretty sure I've smoked one eye half shut at this stage

I, a 32 year old boomer, have been getting a lot of enjoyment out of watching teen thots and anime cosplayers on tiktok.

Attached: Screenshot_20190227-014832~01.png (1440x2623, 1.93M)

Somebody was looking for you here this morning.

I tried to sleep with an old friends ex-girlfriend. even though we arent friends anymore and they split up years ago. i still feel guilty, yet id totally smash given the chance. not sure whats wrong with me.

You are younger than Generation X, Boomer was before them. You are closer to generation Y or Z.

You're all secretly gay and want to bone eachother but are too scared to make the move

Hot fucking quints

Yeah, The Baby Boom was post World War 2. No one born after 1964 is a Boomer.

Photo of her?

U peed on donnas tires... did u piss urself?

Take bites all the way around and then it will be even again.

Just be with the one you truly love.

Same. We tributers/cockers think this recent development is amazing and can't wait for more with bated breath.

Attached: boobs-butt-and-feet-comic.png (1000x1000, 67K)

Why the guilt?

No, I remembered to take my dick out of my pants, thank you.

i eat my mare's ass and pussy almost each night

Just broke up with a girl after dating for 6months.

She loved me more than I've ever been loved before, but I just didn't feel into it. I feel like I'll kick myself down the road, but honestly I don't care that much, shes was nice and all, but overall, meh.

Am I dumb?
(Doesn't matter either way)

Why ya gotta make it weird, man?

Bet you fuck again.

Was she hot though?

It's a meme, ya dip

Standard walls are 6 inches thick buddy, theyll have to reach in for you

If it's any condolence the smallest of whatever arrangement of dicks ends up sucking the rest of the bigger ones off to borderline completion before it's time to bust, ala fluffing.

8.5", 7.5" (me), 6", 4".

Guess who gets to suck us off?

Being comfortable with sexuality with minimal hangups is important to getting into this lifestyle.

Attached: IMG_7155.jpg (800x538, 87K)

Dude. You're a sex offender. Then again i cant feel too bad since thesethots chose to work there.

Kek

My sister molested me and touched my cock when I was 13, and I liked it so wtf ever.

Ew

What a super fabulous story

Okay ive been really emotionally unstable recently i had a breakdown today for no reason ...like im so internally angry i just wanna hurt someone or something like an animal or be really selfdistructive and like just burn or severely injure myself

There's this nasty black ice outside the lecture hall. A couple days ago, a guy slipped before class and sprained his ankle. He got a lot of sympathy. There were a couple of girls from the volleyball team there and they cooed over him and one rubbed his foot. Our professor gave him an extension on his paper.

So today I deliberately slipped, twisted my ankle, fell on my butt, and got nothing but:

"Be careful, bro. You saw what happened to Gary."

I broke up with my girlfriend of like 4 years to move from Ohio to California. Then I fell in love with a girl here super quick and super hard, I mean the second date I could’ve said that I loved her to her face and not been ashamed. She said she wanted to be exclusive, even let me go through her phone whenever I wanted to prove she was being loyal, but that she couldn’t do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing so I told her that I was in it for the long haul, that I’d be around.

And then one day, she said she wasn’t feeling well and kept pushing off hanging out. Then stopped texting me, messaging me on IG, etc but still like some my photos on IG and everything.

Now I’m matching with a bunch of girls on tinder but can’t bring myself to talk to or see anybody else. I should focus on myself, I try hard to, but I can’t stop thinking about her.

I should text her but...it’s been like 6 weeks since I’ve talked to her. It was such a short fling, like 3 months, but I fell so hard and she said she did too but...god damn.

Face was 6/10
Body 7-8/10
Redhead, nurse.

Sex was pretty good, nothing amazing, but willing to try to please me.

But honestly, I wasn't into her. Just didn't feel like it. Could be that my Ex and I still talk, but that's a different story...

Your roommates are using your socks and t-shirts, quint-boy.

That was your green light to escalate to fucking. If it never gone that far, your fault. ;P

Can uhh...can you stop posting?

Attached: 1490700551556.jpg (198x254, 9K)

If she's in juvie and 18, it's not her first rodeo.

Where Are you from?

I don't....I have none.

my 78 year old neighbor watched me cum while we talked in her living room. her big tits were seeable through her moomoo and i said sorry but she said it is okay but if i did it again to let her know and she eould use the gown...no pics

Attached: 1477200480924.png (424x505, 312K)

My brother dated a hot swimmer in high school. One time I walked in on her giving him an over-the-pants HJ on the couch. He left those jeans behind when he went to college. Sometimes I give myself an over-the-pants HJ while wearing them as a way to feel close to her.

>I like to put on my gfs lingerie and then get roasted and told what to do on the internet.
Pic related did it yesterday

Attached: IMG_20190226_141055.jpg (1658x2376, 1024K)

Too perverted for Yea Forums _clearly_...

Attached: IMG_7375.jpg (554x554, 29K)

Florida, why?

highkey wanna do a dp with my gf but I know she doesn't want to

Just clone yourself, user. Chinese are doing this right now.

Uh oh. Better get restabilized fast or you may not make it back.

Same story different day WTF

Mom fonger car friend.

My grandma made this delicious pudding and gave some to everyone. Including my baby cousin. Kid can't even talk yet, so I saw the perfect opportunity to get a second helping. So when no one was looking, I swiped his pudding and smeared some across his face so it would look like he ate it. He cried and pointed at me, but he couldn't accuse me.

Wow. Thats a whole lot of hate. Who hurt you, user?

Hey, a Self-heating fleshlight!

Animated too, with a face to look at and a body to play with.

more of her?

You are truely scum

I only shit in the shower. Don't invite me over to your place.

Attached: 1489732574810.jpg (236x292, 10K)

I smacked a dog's butt because I was frustrated.

Maybe keep this one a secret,

Knock it off ya dingus. After those two are gone no more!

I only come here to report bait threads.

I think theres an actual reason u need these. You're just trying to make it seem normal to us overtime.

If I was told I was gonna die in a couple of months or years. I'd be cool with that. I wouldn't do anything to get closer to that though.

I pee in the shower...FROM ACROSS THE ROOM!

I had a roommate that did that. He had a strange obsession with building up his "pee distance." I booted him because, even though he cleaned up the bathroom, it still got the lingering smell of pee after.

What was his max distance?

I had problems with loud birds near my window for weeks, turned out to be a nest in a crevice on the wall outside. Needless to say once I found it I took a tennis racket to little mama nigger. She pecked me a few times but I swung and caught the bitch (I'm on a ladder) and sent her packing. I fucking hate birds man fuck those things. Looking back I should've tried pigeon meat but I just wanted rid of the little fucks

Bs ... nice ass

I want to get lasik surgery to correct my vision, so that I can see like a normal person without glasses. My best friend has Retinitis Pigmentosa and is legally blind. Short of wiring a vr headset to his brain, there is no cure, and no interest in a cure due to the rarity of the disease. I know it's not a big deal and stupidly common, but I hate having to rely on glasses to live a normal life. I tell myself I don't want it because of the possible complications, but really I just feel guilty wanting what amounts to cosmetic eye surgery when my bro is irreversibly blind, and know I should be thankful I can see at all.

Don't be a beta, and bang other chicks. Too many need dick, and are lonely. I had a chick wanting me to give her the business, but I'm dating currently. Both chicks have the same name.

From my porch, across the yard, to the sidewalk. He showed that off in broad daylight. I made him promise to not do that in public while he lived at my home again. He could almost hit the wires of the power lines when under them. That goal, I wished he hit and got shocked. The static is high enough to sting.

"Civilians".

Or do you think they literally just sent drones after regular ol' Mohammed Sixpack

Respect to his distance. Did you ever compete?

No. I didn't even understand why he tried so hard to begin with.

Well I don't mean to sound like a Gender Studies major, but might it simply be male achievement complex? A kind of dick measuring?

Sharing ex nudes gets me off I really want them spread and seen

In the end, it doesn't even matter

Possible. I never gave it much thought. I just thought of it as a really stupid obsession. He did try to get me involved a couple times. He backed down quick each time I just "gave him a look" when he asked me. Apparently, I have a look when people try to involve me in stupid stuff.

Now I have that song playing in my head.

Nice quints but also why bath? You are marinading in your own feces.

Shower.

thats a photo from a 1980s-1990s photo series on addicted women from the streets by this weirdo photographer artist i forgot the name of, i think it was called "heroin erotica" or something like that.

really? hmmm
like what?

Attached: 2018-12-28+11.31.25.png (1090x697, 1.18M)

>Preys on single moms
>White knight

Dunno if it's gay but you're a faggot.

Ah, that's good advice. I like a nice warm bath to read in, but you're right, a shower is better for that purpose.

sounds like real gay shit NGL,

My fetish is editing pics of porn and girls I know into Islamic clothing. So far I've made riley reid, my gf and a friend. I love Islamification and it makes me so horny covering up their bodies! Here's one of riley!

Attached: 342592_12big.jpg (569x892, 198K)

....

there are legions of incels out there, my God you are a selfish prick.

People who bathe honestly repulse me. It's filth water. Hop in the shower, water steaming hot, and scrub your first layer of skin off with a pumice stone.

>Exposed, bare feet

Attached: 7e7.jpg (600x516, 65K)

No but user literally does it after shitting instead of wiping

This is sincerely villain-tier evil, but i also can't stop laughing.

My neighbors order pizza every Friday. Last Friday, I intercepted it by keeping a vigilant eye and going out to their driveway. Pizza man gets out of his car and I'm waiting there, so he just assumes I'm the guy who ordered it. I end up paying for more pizza than I need, but it keeps.

Checked

I know, that makes it even worse. Sometimes I've had diarrhea, and continual wiping just made me ass raw and sore. So I'd explode butt batter all over the toilet, then hop in the shower to clean it away. I can't imagine hopping into a tub of water to leech away the shit from your ass. The last time I took a bath was with epsom salts to help an enormous hemorrhoid, I had to shower after the bath

total dick/10 prank.
Made me laugh.

I hate republicans and conservatives and would get an erection killing them

They were hitting schools and hospitals. I know of at least one instance where several doctors without borders were killed. They weren't hitting terrorist controlled targets they were aiming at civilian infrastructure.

I hope you mean NeoCons, Fox Tards, Mitch McTurtlesons, and the Cult of Orange.
Actual conservatives and Republicans are not really in the public eye anymore... and they hate the modern GOP and Trump.

You seem to have gastrointestinal issues

I jerk Off to my girlfriends sisters almost every day. Their my favorite persons to jerk off too.

I bet you couldn't properly steelman an actual conservative argument on any given topic.

>They were hitting schools and hospitals
Because they never use those places to store weapons

I'm not a politician, but recent events have never concerned. When I was ten I went as MC Hammer for Halloween, and my parents were stupid enough to let me go in blackface. I'm worried what will happen if photos get out. My wife's adopted sister is Hawaiian, and I don't want her to think I'm racist.

No you don't understand he worked for DIA so he had top tier classified access

I get ferociously off thinking about my mom used as a cum and piss slut by friends, strangers, traps and trannies. Don't really know why.

Ones 15 and the other is 21

Makes it have a bit more sensuality

Attached: 342592_01big.jpg (683x1024, 288K)

But there was no intel that they were being used as such

You should go see a counsellor.

I used to drink way too much

What purpose would the US military have to intentionally bomb peaceful schools for no reason?

I work at a market and take creep shots of customers. Then go to the bathroom and jerk off on the clock

Keep civilian infrastructure from recovering to ensure that the nation doesn't become a threat in the future.

>Expressing sensuality

That whore should be stoned to death

Attached: Screenshot_20190227-032635~01.png (1024x711, 838K)

i havn't shown my dick to anyone whos not a doctor, family or in the locker room in over 5 years.

i think that makes me a monk or prisoner

Done so already. My therapist is only a few years older than me (I'm in my mid 30s) and so far I'm the one who's made all the hypotheses, such as those fantasies stemming from some sort of subconscious anger.

Lately I've been putting on the ritz, wearing a top hat and white spats. Full Fred Astaire, suit with tails. I'm hoping people think I look sophisticated, but I'm secretly worried I look like a fool. But a fancy fool.

Attached: fred-astaire-top-hat-tails-1.jpg (600x760, 59K)

Schools.

That's not how counselling works

Those are the only ones I saw that resulted in casualties and couldn't be explained away. They also took out transportation infrastructure: bridges and highways.

Attached: 1510181316737.gif (256x144, 352K)

Well, I'm the patient. I don't know how counselling works.

I'm a violent drunk. One time I got in a dispute with a fellow bar goer and I stormed out to the parking lot, found his car, and threw a snowball at his windshield. I feel guilty about his car ride home.

Lets see stranger, try to give your self a handjob

So the point is to destroy infrastructure but they can't do it at night when the kids are not there, they ALSO do it mid-day so they can kill as many children as possible.

100% pure bullshit. 5/10 don't larp again

TO be fair she's a pornstar so yeah. My gf

Attached: 20190202_142034.jpg (541x1516, 188K)

You are

Ha, well it's not like I wear it to class or work. I thought about that, but it's not dress code in the office, and people at school hate "hipsters" in fedoras and I worry they'll make some connection.

I mostly spruce up this way when I'm out on the town, as they say. Bars, nightclubs, trying to meet the ladies. Do you think in such fancy social settings, it's perceived that way?

Purrrrr moar

The schools are hardly ever empty. They are shut down half the time and used to house people.

discord
=======
.gg/tFpyete
Brand new Yea Forums server, come join user.

Attached: 20190226_120626.jpg (281x739, 78K)

Soo...nice one Elon...!

Attached: 2gn0oicafbybjhvj5229195497300.jpg (1632x1191, 143K)

My fucking sides

Please stop.

Look up Operation Recumbent Spear

I've jerked off in the bathroom at my old job several times.

I bet you look the way electroswing sounds

Attached: received_735960859923342.jpg (900x1600, 479K)

Recumbent comes back with nothing but are you talking about this...?
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Spear

Because if so, so fucking what?

Im 25 years old, have been single for 8 years and my longest relationship ever was 3 months when i was 14 years old. Tell me how pathethic i am

Dapper?

Don't worry about it. I didn't have a GF until I was 27 and I don't even give a shit. I had other better things to do with my time than waste them on anyone that didn't interest me.

Go to bed

I'm sorry, I think mistook my replies for actual interest. This is retarded, and you should feel stupid for doing it.

Attached: 4xd9jomyte901~01.jpg (235x226, 13K)

I'm a celebrity. Actor, who makes 8k per episode.

On what show

No man. You gotta know the numbers to understand!

I pretend to be rather conservative online whereas I am actually very liberal.

Attached: Waters.jpg (493x600, 34K)

K.

I'm 19 and have a sexual attraction to grannies. Seems to be the only thing that gets me hard. Found this out when I was with my grandma during highschool and only got boners around her and the odd one in high school just cuz my dick likes to fuck my day up. Now it's just full blown grannies as that's all I've fapped to since... sooo anyone got any granny pics or advice on how to fuck a granny/seduce one? Was thinking of going on one of them European river cruises and such to try and meet them and talk to them!

I bet nobody falls for it or just think you are weird. Liberals cannot larp as conservatives

I know it's not actual interest, I just wanted a excuse to post more. So thanks for being the excuse to taint everyone's eyes.

Tryhard and autistic
This

What a healthy relationship!

I think you're the one who told me how he'd fuck my mom (67 yrs old) a while ago. That was fun.

eh, I'm pretty learned in the faults of the left, love conspiracies and crazy shit like that and grew up mocking the right, so changing perspective is pretty easy. you can't be cookie cutter about it. you can spot the shills easy-peasy

Hey, I got to share more of my fetish im happy! Despite how weird it is to some.

Yeah most likely! It really is only grannies that I get off to and its starting to effect my love interests too soooo...

What do you do for a living

I can imagine. You told me how you'd stick a buttplug in her ass after writing "she's mine now" on her cheeks. That got me as hard as a rock.

Y tho

>be me
>be 21
>came back from night of drinking with friends
>friend took a bar, gave girl whole bar of xanax
>she is beyond gone and had to carry her back to our apartment
>leave her on the bed downstairs
>friend passes out next to her
>roommate invites in mexican neighbors for first time
>roll up blunt
>smoke it with them
>i knock over ashtray and go downstairs to get vaccum
>catch one of the mexicans trying to get inside passed out girl
>he had her doggystyle, she was still completely knocked the fuck out
>passed out friend was right next to them still asleep
>"what the fuck are you doing?"
>obviously know what he's doing, I wanted to see what he was gonna say
>wide-eyed looking crazy he speaks spanish back to me
>friend is still passed out right next to them
>retrieve vacuum from other room and hear her unconscious groans as he fucks her
>walk away and go up stairs and text roommate he's raping her
>roommate sees the text while still smoking with the other mexican neighbors
>"where's your friend? who is he?"
>"Oh that guy? We don't know him, he's retarded, he's crazy"
>one of them goes downstairs and comes back up saying he's trying to kidnap her
>everyone goes downstairs and catches him trying to take her but she's total dead weight and drops her
>one of the neighbors drops his beer
>"you rape that girl?"
>cold cocks the fuck out of him
>nigga starts bleeding
>they're screaming spanish and he's scrambling for the door
>I was the only one who saw him fuckin her, neighbors conclude nothing happened and think he was only trying to take her
>next morning
>friend got told by girl she doesn't remember anything at all
>hear them fuck in the morning
pic related her

Attached: 6.png (1081x1127, 1.06M)

met an older couple on craigslist casuals when it was still alive, had to suck old grandpa dick for a sec only to get to fuck his wife, worth honestly

I work full time as an administrator for a company while waiting to go uni at my unconditional offer.

Mm yeah shove a butt plug in her ass and have her walk around with me, her toy boy, in public. I'd touch her ass cheeks as we walked and let everyone know my interests and that she is my fuck meat Gilf!

M mmm sounds like a good plan honestly

good luck pulling it off nowadays, only advice i can give you is getting a fetlife account and try to message people in your area, ive had a few close calls but nothing really stuck, it might help if youre attrative tho

Attached: 1495662770347.jpg (1024x576, 80K)

eva notty

I'm still having my little private investigator game going.

I use random people's social media and see if i can discover their home address.
Photos, videos, location tags, street signs all little breadcrumbs on my quest.

Some people are unconciously very open about their home address. They will vlog while walking, looking down at their phone, not realising people can see street signs and billboards behind them. Then they might film something with a view out a window onto the street. Or in the backyard with some landmark in view.

It's fun, but a little frustrating when they start doing regular videos in their room for weeks on end. Occasionally I'll get an apartment number/name/house number and that really narrows things down.

Have two marks full address. Several others I know which city/town/suburb they are in.
Some others have moved houses since I first tagged there address, adding to the challenge.

One day I plan to mail my research to them in a binder folder. The front will read "Your Privacy Is Public When You Vlog"

I look fairly good for a 19 year old, hopefully the young ness helps too

nigga good fuckin luck, more often than not the older women i message say something along the lines of "i have children older than you" but godpseed

Attached: 7adDppZ.jpg (1280x1707, 354K)

Was your name Bobby Hill and instead of your dad it was Buck Strickland lol. “My daddy is having a heart attack!”

Hey I'm quite a classy man and like to dress up nice. Suit and waistcoat and overcoat kinda way. And yeah I really am fucked with the whole im only attracted to grannies and older women thing...

Same here and I have no fucking idea why...

NEW BREAD!!

I bet Gary is hotter than you