Job secrets thread

Job secrets thread

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if you're backpacking or traveling a lot and just want a quick, easy job that you can do short or long term (no-one'll care if you quit after 2-3 months) do Housekeeping in a hostel or a hotel.
You get to keep any snacks, food, alcohol or drugs left in the rooms (obviously you go for unopened food/snacks, though everyone usually shares a few slices of unfinished pizza).
Any leftover clothes, belongings or other shit is also up for grabs if the owner doesnt call us back after 2-3 weeks. REALLY valuable shit like laptops or phones have to be held for 3 months.
If you do this over a ski season you'll likely end up with a good bit of free ski gear, cuz people always leave gloves and goggles behind, plus easily a couple of 6packs of beer or a bottle of something a week. Mate of mine got to keep a laptop which was great cuz he had his car broken into and got a bunch of his shit stolen at start of season.
In an 8 month season I found 3 decent size bags of weed (1/4 to 1/2 ounce) and a bag of shrooms. Also had a drunk guest who i became friends with give me free tabs of lsd and his weed stash before he had to fly home.

tl;dr
Do Housekeeping if you want a steady supply of free shit, you can get a job within 6hours~3 days of getting to any town you move to usually.

I have family in Mexico that operate a giant meat farm/plant and they say all their buyers (including Tyson) have no problem buying sick/diseased cattle. Usually $20 for a whole cow. Not sure what they do with them

So you're a thief.

Thanks

How much they pay the cartel to operate?

I dont get the question

Nah, just how the industry works.
Any shit left in rooms goes into lost & found for 3 weeks, valuable shit for 3 months.
if anything's not claimed it's legally up for grabs.
guests also get creative with "hiding" their weed after they check out. obviously when they have to fly to their home country they cant take their drugs with them, but they leave their stashes in places where they know housekeepers will take them as tips, while not leaving them out in the open for other roommates to take or any senior staff to do shit.

Also unrelated job secret. If you're a regular to a bar you get more alcohol in your drinks (ie: we dont measure, we just pour until it's like 1/3rd of the glass or w/e). Even more if you're close friends with a bartender. I work in a bar on weekends and there's a set group of 4 or 5 regulars who get very specifically poured drinks. One old guy gets a FULL GLASS of scotch when he gets it "on the rocks", cunt nearly gets half a bottle. Another chick gets about 600mL of straight vodka when she orders a screwdriver. Mostly cuz customers like those come in 2~5 nights a week and basically keep the bar afloat, so we reward them as such.

When I backpacked the Caribbean I would work as a beach boy

what'd that involve?

oh also, if you work for a decently sized hostel/hotel chain you get to stay for free anywhere in the chain, some chains are massive jews though and only give you a 50% discount.
Even a 50% discount though means you're getting a bed to sleep in for $13/night in off-season, $20/night in high season.

I was basically a waiter most of the time but also had to bring out about a 100 beach chairs every morning which sucked and one of the owners was a cheapskate

was the pay alright though? any hidden perks to the job?
I guess being paid to stand around looking at bikini tiddies all day wouldve been alright.

In most states to run any kind of business gotta pay cartel a protection fee for "protection" so that they dont come and kill a family member

Aha, I misunderstood. I thought you also go into the rooms while guests are still staying there to pinch their stuff.

lmao what the fuck happened??
I had to leave when she posted on instagram

oh god no. we had one hippie housekeeper that tried that shit. she saw baggies of cocaine that fell out of a guests's bag and she looked at me and said "what, not like they're gunna come to front desk and ask about their coke going missing....".
she also used to steal food from other people's food bins in the kitchen saying shit like "you cant OWN food, maaaan" and the like.
just turned out she was a megahippieturbojew that had literally not been to a supermarket in months because she just begged, borrowed or stole food from anyone and everyone around her.
she only lasted a month and got fired about a month after the cocaine incident. I didnt report it but if she was stealing that shit then I dont doubt she wasnt dodgy enough to steal other shit.

tl;dr there's cunts everywhere but nearly all housekeepers wont risk their job to steal shit from a guest's bag.

most of the coke you buy is probably cut with a good amount of meth. buying crack will get you cleaner product.

Fuck I hate that hippie dipshit attitude. I wouldn't be able to work with someone like that.

...this is absolutely not true, but I live near the border

Never knew that. Interesting.

If you don't understand the question then what you just said it's not true and you don't know shit.

she was ok as a person, but I knew not to lend her anything or pull any favours for her the moment I heard her say the "You cant OWN" shit.
other than that she was fun to drink and smoke with, just not the kind of person you'd let borrow something or give $10 to.

>nearly all housekeepers wont risk their job to steal shit from a guest's bag
This: t. also former housekeeper. It's an easy job to get into and it's easy enough to do in a smaller establishment

Other housekeeper, what was the strangest thing you have had to clean? Mine was a bed slathered in period blood followed by finding and tossing the nasty vibrator that caused the mess in the room's bathroom trashcan. Disgusting. Also a few meth pipes, but that feels less strange the more you see

How often do the staff fuck people staying in rooms?

My first day at a new hostel me and the other new chick had to both clean up after a dude who spewed in the top bunk of a bed.
It leaked into the mattress which dripped down onto the guy below.
It was pretty much the grossest thing that entire ski season though, so rest of the season was smooth sailing after that lol.

We also had a female guest that would whip out her blood-filled tampons during her sleep and just chuck them down the side of the bed. She stayed for 2 months before she moved so by the time she left there was a good dozen half-rotten blood-filled tampons all mixed in around her bedding and stuck beside/under her mattress.
apparently it was just some habit she had when she was asleep/drunk and had no memory of it.

To any non-housekeeping people in the thread. If you hear talk of "Code B" that means there was a bedbug infestation. It's hospitality lingo to be able to talk about it without guests freaking the fuck out, mostly because randoms dont know shit about bedbugs and usually panic over mosquito bites.

I need to know this.

I used to work at panda express.
Ended up dropping a whole tray of chow mein on the disgusting ass floor and my manager just told me to scoop as much as I could and put it back....threw it all away and quit on the spot

depends on the town, hostel, season etc.
if you're a staff member living in the hostel you're working in, and it's peak ski season with lots of people partying, drinking, smoking weed etc it's entirely possible.
coworker of mine almost lost his job because he was drunk playing pool with some guests and punched a dude who he thought was insulting "his girl". "His girl" being some random french slut in a room that he talked to twice and had the hots for, but hadnt actually gotten anywhere with, lol.

end of the day, just depends on the vibe of the hostel, town etc. Some hostels let staff live in them during season, some only let staff live in them for a week or two until you find your own place, others treat it like a normal job. Some places prohibit relations with guests, others dont give a shit as long as you keep shit professional.
Hostels vary from place to place so it really just depends.

You did good work, user.

this has worked for me 90% of the times
no matter where you want to get in without being bothered (including govt offices, schools, once i got to be backstage with a mildly famous band) all you need is the real name from a person that's inside and a balloon bouquet that looks fragile. When the guard in front asks you to give it to him and he'll deliver ask him if he'll take the responsibility of bringing it intact to the final person, 90%of the times they'll budge and let you in. To make it look official print a delivery form with the name on it, wear a polo shirt and if you want to go the whole 9 yards get the logo of a local balloon place on the shirt. Once you're in continuosly check your order and walk naturally, nobody cares about the balloon guy.
why ballloons? why not take out? or flowers? or anything else?
>balloons are very fragile, so you can make the case that if they're not handled with care they might pop and it will be the delivery person's fault
>balloons are sent by surprise most of the times, if you bring takeout and they call the person, they will say they ordered nothing
>balloons can be sent by an anonymous sender, even more if it's an "i love you" bouquet
>balloons are sterile, places like hospitals and certain business places won't let you come in with flowers or food of any kind, but balloons are a-ok most of the times
>you can make the arrangement yourself and it won't be too expensive, nobody knows exactly how a balloon bouquet looks like, si anything will work
as i said, i have been to concerts, professional basketball and soccer games, entered govt offices to look for the right person to solve a problem that would've take me weeks of bureaucracy, and it worked 90% of the times

>tampon and period blood clean-up
Fuuck! Would not handle that.
I've worked on luxary yachts for a while, had to clean cabins when we were short staffed on stewardesses. Even though the guests were snobbish, I never encountered anything like this. Worst I had was kids (6/7 yo) pissing in bed and a dog shitting on the teak deck.

Considering I used to eat there a lot growing up, I felt obligated. Never stepped foot in a PandEx after that day...

Greentext concert story?

Also, you said it worked 90% of times. What happened that 10% of times?

op here, forgot to add
been a balloon delivery guy for 3 years now

I'm sorry for your loss

This sounds genius. Any other ideas similar to the sort?

eh it's not so bad. after a few days on the job you dont give a shit really. you have gloves on anyway.
the only bad messes are honestly the ones that smell bad, and even then you just sort of learn to deal with it.
the absolute grossest shit is usually taken care of by maintenance. housekeeping's paid a medium wage just to clean shit and make beds as quick as possible, maintenance gets paid the second highest wage in the building (after the manager, same as assistant manager) but has to deal with shit like the grease trap overflowing or dangerous shit like getting on the roof.
80% of the time housekeeping is just chill as fuck, listening to a podcast on headphones while making beds or folding towels.
off season feels like cheating because all you have to do in an 8 hour shift is make like 6 beds, fold 6 towels/bedsheets and you're just kind of bored after that. I had so many night shift nights in off season where I straight up took my laptop to the laundry room and just sipped beer while playing MMOs.
nothing else to do in the empty hostel until an hour before my shift was done. may as well, lol.

lmfao

I worked at the small local inn, so most guests were either wedding parties, a few regulars, and sketchy singles or pairs who usually left much evidence of rampant drug use, so low-quality and disgusting work was par for the course.

Related to the other housekeeper's explanation on free stuff: wedding parties tip the most and leave lots of shit behind when they head back across the country, never to return and reclaim. You should always try and work on the day they are leaving for first pick and best tip. We had a 2 month holding time on left behind items, so we'd just throw em in a bin and check it every now and again. I got all sorts of neat bottle openers, some shirts, mugs, lots of beers and sodas, and other small odds and ends, and I worked at a very small 20 room inn. A larger establishment will attract more and wealthier people, so the amount and quality of left goods increases as well.

the 10% of the times the guard calls the person all the way to the front desk and they receive it there, you just tell them "it's from an anonymous sender", they sign and leave, so no risk for you at all
the concert was for a spanish band called mago de oz, it's folk metal and the fans knew they were in the venue since early so...
>be me, balloon delivery boy
>investigate the name of one of the women in the office of the venue, either she was from accounting or managing something, found it online in 2 hours
>go to the store i work, buy a few latex balloons with hellium and one red heart also with hellium, tell them it's for my crush, so they even got it cheaper for me.
>arrange them like floating grapes, added a small plush i won in a claw machine
>printed the form with her name and the full address of the venue, added notes like "please handle with care!" and "deliver it in her hands" in stickers, pasted them in the order
>arrived in the venue early, a lot of fans my age were trying to get in to meet the band, i got in by the office entrance
>the guard sees this and let's me in
>once i was in i took the "wrong turn" and instead of going to the office i went backstage
>knocked on their door, they were chilling, drinking and smoking
>i see an executive of the venue with them, i politely ask for the lady, the guy says i'm casually very lost
>the band got it right away, they let me take a couple pics and chilled for a while with them before i got kicked out

the other times were local unknown bands, but i got to stay longer and had a beer with one of them

Here's the archive

thebarchive.com/b/thread/793035062/

Smart man--finding the loophole and exploiting it at nobody's expense. You are right, nobody cares about the balloon man, but a free pass is a free pass. Keep up the good work, dirigible dude

yea this pretty much.
often too the busiest days (ie: day after xmas, day after halloween, new year's day, day after a group of 180 people check out) are the worst ones to work but worth it for the shit you'll find.
you'll work your ass off and probably have to pull overtime but those are the days you find untouched cases of beer, bags of weed/shrooms, clothes, phones, ski gear etc.

holy fuck, I kinda feel bad now... she clearly has some sort of mental disability

where do you usually find this shit??
I can't imagine they're just sitting on the counters..

eh, they're just dorms or small private rooms.
when someone's traveling and they've bought a case of beer to drink for a weekend, they cant fit it in their bag to take home.
sometimes they give it to friends, sometimes they share it around, often they just dont give a shit and just leave it to tip the housekeepers.
same with drugs. if people are flying they obviously cant take their weed or whatever else they have with them, so you end up with people either trying to sell to friends for dirt dirt cheap or just straight up giving em away when they leave.
I've straight up just seen a 1/2 ounce bag of weed sitting on a coffee table in the cafe at the entrance. I've found a bag lazily hidden under a pillow, another hidden under a mattress. I've even heard stories of travelers who've rented a car/van and hidden their stash under the seat for the next renters so definitely keep your noses keen.
It's pretty obvious when you smell weed in a room where everyone's checked out.
Free food bin in hostels is usually best stocked early morning on a Sunday.

There are usually things left in the bathroom, betwixt the sheets, under or behind furniture, in the minifridge, tucked into drawers, or simply dropped amidst the floor on the way out. You'd be surprised how obvious some items can be in the places they're forgotten. Sometimes it seems like they leave them for you on purpose, but usually I think it's the hustle and bustle of making it to the next destination.

i work in the hospital and balloons are a very bad idea and often not allowed for the hazards of fires, ptsd should it pop, etc.

this whole premise is the same bullshit you see in most romcom movies, so even if it were true, its not much of a secret.

i've straight up seen bags of shrooms thrown into the trash like normal.
if you ever work housekeeping definitely check the trash after a local music festival.

i have entered to maybe 10 different hospitals, 3 of them are world class hospitals, and nobody ever said that to me. Maybe you're thinking hydrogen filled balloons? those were a hazard, but helium is completely hazard free, also, i bring mylar balloons since they don't pop as loud and as easy as latex balloons, hospitals are easy cake

>i have entered to maybe 10 different hospitals
whats your reason for going to hospitals? To see some sick celeb or something?

lol no, delivering balloons, that's my job
only once i got to see a girl i was hitting on because they wouldn't allow me in the aisle for some reason, her brother told me the name of the nurse that was attending her and i got to go all the way to the aisle, on my way back i popped in her room and we had a good 2 years relationship that begun because of that

discord
====
.gg/RC8tcRa

IT pro fags in here, how the fuck do one like myself get a job in IT? I have a degree and some certs but apparently I'm not skilled enough. Have yet to start my career in IT after 15 years of trying.

What's your degree and what certs do you have?

Bachelor's degree in IT (concentrated in sys admin and networking), A+, Network+ and CCNA. Thinking of picking up a Linux cert (Red hat or LPIC).

Build a portfolio. People want to know if you can actually code. Too many get a degree but fail at basic tasks already.

>but apparently I'm not skilled enough
Who told you that? Was it after an interview? How many interviews did you have?

I know I won't fail. I mean I probably will make some mistakes but I've been able to prove that I can improvise and adapt. I'm a quick learner. Usually when I get certs, these materials really stick in my mind. I'm also knowledgeable with computers, been around computers pretty much my whole life.

Unfortunately a few that I can count on my hand. I have had some prescreening calls and they said it flat out on the phone that I don't have the skills even when the job description was asking for half of what I can do. That's why I got confused because I have built over 200 custom build PCs and have worked on over 5k of computers in my 4 years at this retail store and they said I don't have the skills to reload and customize dummy machines.

> bunch of worthless certs
You should have been spending that time developing actual skills and a GitHub account showing off simple tools you have scripted. You also need to have a basic understanding of C and build systems, since it will come up that machines require from-source patching and compilation.

Get a book on C, shell scripting and Linux basics and be expected to kill a summer actually applying yourself. Demonstrate you can write your own basic tooling. I would never hire someone who is just collecting certs, they make you look bad.

You may know it but not the recruiter. You might remember how half the classmates couldn't say what they studied last semester. How can the recruiter know if you are one of those or not?

Thought my advice went to shit with

no idea how to proof you do networking right. I'm a programmer so it's easy to show examples of past work.

Why should I have to code (I know a good amount of coding) but I've applied for some Network admin jobs and it only asked to do routine maintenance, trouble tickets and such and nothing was said about having coding skills.

I even provided a list of references and have a LinkedIn account that I put on my resume because a lot of people in my circle recommended me plus said I do have this and that skills. So that should be proof enough?

Network guy here.
Coding is nice!
Fuckton of scripts are usefull: generate DHCP config files out of DBs, sending configchanges to 100+ switches, daily backupconfig-scirpts,...

> why should I have to do my job
Christ, give up now you big faker. There is a reason no one is hiring you and it is this exact attitude you have.

this. make mods for vidya, find an open source community project (like an MMO private server or an ss13 server or something) and contribute code to it.
i dont even code but if you go into an interview you need to be able to whip out a portfolio like "oh yea, i'm the guy who made this this this this and the famous X mod for Y".

I can learn how to do that but that's something they don't really broadcast in the job description, at least from what I've seen so far.

Isn't that too much to ask from an entry level professional? I would imagine I'd start at entry level, seeing how I don't have much work experience.

I'm not implying I don't want to code. I'm implying that when going through the job description of networking positions, pretty much most of them didn't ask for coding skills. But guess I'll have to hone my coding skills now seeing that people are telling other people to learn to code.

That is stuff they don't ask, you have to say that you can code.

Ok fair enough, plus nice trips

Be a teacher

Literally see puberty happen on a daily basis

If you want a chill, comfy job, get a job as a janitor.
If you're under age 50, then 9 times out of 10 you'll be the youngest person in the company.
You'll pretty much always be alone, especially if you do night cleaning. No-one else around, no boss yelling at you. Just as long as shit LOOKS clean then no-one'll complain, plus being the only staff member under age 50 you get complimented out the ass for being so young and energetic despite not really even trying at your job.
Plus you can listen to music/podcasts while working and go at your own pace, as long as everything LOOKS clean by the end of your shift.
I did this job for 4 years while I was going to University and honestly was one of the best and comfiest jobs I had.
Nothing nicer than finishing at 7am, sipping some coffee from a thermos and driving off to enjoy the rest of your day, with the rest of the day ahead of you. Easiest $18/h I ever made.

>Unfortunately a few that I can count on my hand.
What was the feedback?

Your job is to keep things running and to solve problems others, such as the developers or other people in the org, are having. This can mean writing scripts to automate things, such as backups. It can also mean fixing scripts that are part of a program running on the server. Sometimes it might even mean fixing something a coworker developed and only tested on their laptop because it turns out they are retarded.

Usually these are minor things to patch, so they are not expecting you be a full-on developer, but they do expect you to be able to solve things that do involve some programming experience.

Keep in mind that in the 1980s and 90s, you were EXPECTED to be a full-on C developer to be a sysadmin as that was the actual scripting language of *nix systems. The bar has already been lowered.

Being a sysadmin is not for sissies and requires you to buck up and learn a number of different skills to a basic familiarity because everyone in the org is relying on you in some fashion.

There may be places you can slack off and be 'entry level' and have almost no responsibilities, but you are replaceable as fuck in that case.

Paralegal here
Your lawyer is scamming you. If you talk to their paralegal off to the side and ask them to come up with a document, you could save a couple hundred dollars. Or they could point you in the direction of how to do it yourself.

Insurance broker here
Your financial broker is a con artist who is contacted & contracted to sell you their products. You could ask your broker for the cheapest shit, and knowing they’re wrong they would lie directly to your face because they know you haven’t done the shopping. And all the paper work is fraudulent anyway.

The usual canned responses like, "Thank you for your interest but we went with a candidate with better skills. We will keep your resume on file for 6 months and you may apply again if another job comes up" or "I'm sorry, but you appear to have insufficient skills for the position. We will keep blah blah".

teacher in the UK here if anyone has any questions

Do you report youth to the police for wrongthink?

Insurance broker again
@IT fags
Nobody cares about what you can code. Can you fix the fucking printer & add it to my list of devices, please? Can you give my office full of dipshits monthly workshops on Sales Force? If the answer to both of those questions is yes, you’re hired.

Hardware isn't exactly a huge part of modern IT and experience is paramount in IT.

> someone who doesn't know the job of a sysadmin
Okay faggot.

>balloons are fragile.
Wat.
This is bullshit, my parents were just in the hospital and I sent them balloons from the hospitals own gift shop

have to indeed any racism etc has it's own special form

I'm well aware of that as hardware is getting cheaper now to replace with new models but I was told I didn't have the skills to do a fucking reload OS job. I applied for a part time job doing reloading and minor troubleshooting (i.e. failed NIC, replace it) and they literally told me I don't have the fucking skills, even knowing that my last job was to fix over 5,000 computers and yes that included reloading the OS.

Just somebody who knows you can’t get the job of a system admin because you can’t make my fucking printer work at the office I’m making all the money for. And remember: this douche & all of his douche associates have sway in whether you stay or go. “System admin”

>Your lawyer is scamming you
You mean he isn’t worth $350 an hour?

Work for facebook, if you wanna get away say nigger just say you love niggers or someone is your favorite nigger. also if you wanna shit on muslims, never actually say muslim. Target islam as a religion or even the country ie Saudi arabia should be carpet bombed, ban islam etc.
Also if we delete your post, dont post a screen shot of your violation and bitch about censrship, you'll just get deleted again and proably post blocked.

How were you able to score a job like that?

Were you the guy that said you were working on it for 15 years?
Pro tip: it is because you are too old, there is a huge age bias in tech.
Here is what you need to do: lie on your resume that you have experience doing the extract job you are being hired for. Maybe even have a friend let you list his phone number and he can fake being your old boss.
Shits fucked bro but if you really think you can do the job, that is how you get in. System is broken. Take this blessed image for good luck

Attached: 73C12124-22B8-4A14-9DEA-53665DEF868D.jpg (308x450, 25K)

> talking out of your ass
Maybe in your self-professed worthless profession, but not at any tech company. No one was talking about your office shitshow.

What else do you do? I'm pretty ignorant of your existence, let alone your life/routine. What are the students like? Your pay? What was required of you to be able to be a teacher?

Wow. Can you post a pic of the special form sometime?

I've worked in a bunch of places, so I'll give you some insider knowledge:

WINDSHIELD REPAIR PLACE
- The place I worked at fixed chips for $100 a pop with a guarantee not to fail or they replace the entire windshield for free. If you have a windshield with multiple chips where you're better off getting a whole new windshield (obvs more expensive), simply go in and get one of the chips and say you can only afford to fix one. After a week (or whenever is convenient, within the guarantee time frame) push out from the inside of the car on the repair chip with your foot hard and cause the chip to fail and shatter (it won't fall all over). Take it in and receive a new one for free.

HOSPITAL
- If you know you're going to be admitted you want to get a room all to yourself, just tell them you have diarrhea (which is potentially contagious) and they'll put you into "Isolation". You've just got to keep the ruse up and go to the bathroom every 20 minutes. But don't take the meds for it or you'll end up constipated, lol.

CAR RENTAL PLACE
- The place I worked at had a cancellation fee if you canceled within 4 day of your reservation, but it was free to change your reservation to another date. If you want to cancel within a cancellation fee time-frame, just move your reservation forward a few weeks, then cancel after a few days of doing that fee-free.

I have one for nearly free store credit from Home Depot. I'll write it out of anyone is interested.

Attached: 1541724914984.jpg (700x673, 32K)

just apply.
i got lucky and heard word of mouth from a friend that a janitor at my friend's workplace was retiring soon, they put in the good word for me and i got the job without even doing an interview, purely cuz they didnt want to go through the bullshit of putting up a job listing, doing interviews etc. i admit i got lucky but you could get the same just applying for janitor jobs or getting hired by a janitor company

literally just go on indeed and apply. Schools pay more. buisness's can be more nitpicky since there always looking to cut costs and will fire you if it means they can balance there ledger for a fucking week.

£38k for 192 work days a year
students are great, the paper work is the effort, form this form that. The best time is just being in the class and getting on with it
i have a degree, and then a pgce - a 1 year course where you train to be a teacher

sorry the form is in the staff room

Supermarket cashier here

Most supermarkets have old scanners that don’t scan all your shit on the first try. Don’t try to steal with that under the cart shit. A lot of supermarkets offer a senior discount and a separate employee discount. Get to know your cashier and ask them what’s the code for the discount. If they’re feeling generous, they might just read it out loud while they type it in.

this, i'm the guy he was replying to and when i got the janitor job when i was at university i was hired to clean post offices.
being govt they were happy to pay the wage, just as long as everything was clean and i was out of there before the post staff started their shift.

thanks, looking to trade in my shitty car and getting a new windshield might make look less shitty

>I'll write it out of anyone is interested.
yes

That's a job 14year old internship can do. Pure idiocy to hire a fully paid graduate for jobs you can get done by kids for free.

how do your theft alarms work? at the kroger I go to the alarms are always going off but when I ever steal shit it lets me through no issue. Last year for my dads birthday I ordered a 70 dollar custom cake. Litterally just walked out while the nigger watching self checkout was talking on the phone

go on... sandpaper isn't cheap

Just make sure and tell them you fell hard into a pothole or something that caused your car to judder hard and that caused the repair to fail.

Next thread when?

Must a been a short fukin hike.

HR asshattery, the positions probably never existed to begin with...

HOME DEPOT
>Work at Home Depot in the Tool Rental Center
>Always encouraged to get customers to add-on things to their rental contract,where if they use it, they pay for it, if not simply return
>Nothing is paid until tool & items are returned (or not) besides a deposit on a credit card
>If you return the tool and all the add-ons you've taken are returned, you just pay for the tool

So here's what you do:
>This scheme is best done with a floor sander (any kind)
>Go in and say you want to rent a floor sander (look into how to refinish a floor before going in so you know what you're talking about)
>Say you're not sure about how much Polyeurothane (sp?) or Stain you need for your floor
>Rental guy should tell you that you can add items on the contract and not pay unless you use them and not return them
>SoundsGood.gif
>Pay deposit and leave with (lets say) 4 cans of stain at $45/can
>At HD, it's very common for contractors to send their workers to HD to return unused materials for store credit often times without a receipt as long as it's under $100
>After leaving first store, go to another HD and walk in with 2 cans of the stain you got $45x2= $90
>Say your boss sent you to return the cans but didn't give you the receipt
>You might need an ID to do this, so I recommend getting a cheap Checks-cashed ID thing with a fake name
>You return 2 cans for $95 in store credit
>repeat at a different Home Depot (probably best to use a friend so they don't see you on camera and catch on, just to be safe)
>After you get all the store credit, head back to original home depot where you got the sander
>Place the rental tool on pic related that they have there
>Walk into the store and go to the paint isle
>Collect the exact type of cans you got from the rental places and amount and place them on the thing with your sander
>Return to Rental department and pay for sander and say you didn't use the stain and will probably do it another day

$190 store credit

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You're a fucking retard and full of shit.

Sorry, my math is fucked, lol

lol

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> be filmed on camera committing a crime for $195 in store credit at a shitty store
> only needs a fake id guys!!
Brilliant!

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Here’s my top list of fast food secrets! Join before it gets taken down (;

How many hours do you work for that?

When shopping always ask for a discount you maybe lucky, if you don’t get one ask if the have any free stuff laying around. You should get one or the other.

I'm a professional scumbag and a subversive commie. Went 2 months stealing food and clothes from Walmart because fuck capitalism. Get yourself a reusable bag and put your items in it. Food or clothes only. Walmart doesn't have the small baskets only carts so keep the amount small make sure you are there in non peak hours when there is only one greeter. When you're ready to leave go to the side with no greeter and pretend to look at the "gotcha" items in the front row. When coast is clear walk out the door. If you ever get trapped and do have to pass a greeter/checker go to the furthest open empty Lane and casually blend in wait until they check someone and roll out. If you go to the same store alot buy some ramen and stuff and show reciepts those days. I stole so much shit for a long time and all the employees love me.

You playing this up is just making you look more retarded

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1. This will not work, more often than not.

2. Regardless your feelings about communism (I don't subscribe to it because I'm not an idiot), this isn't communism. It's just a trashy thief.

No one ever cleans the soda fountains at gas stations, and I'm sure a lot of places. They never even include it in the training.

I haven't drank from a fountain in years

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depends on the company, the one I joined has 4000+ locations around the world and you got 50% staff discount the moment you start working. you also get 3~5 days of a free stay in another hostel of the same company too, sometimes more but honestly how many days you get for free is just up to the hostel that's taking you in. I've had some in my same chain that's put me up for free for a week in a private room, i've also had one that only gave me 3 days then charged me full price; ignoring staff discount.

>2 months stealing food and clothes from Walmart because fuck capitalism.
>2 months
Somehow i think Capitalism is safe from your level of subversion.

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I'm in. Where else do I go?

>Heist film for chump change
cringe
r
i
n
g
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he tried it once and then spent 2 months in lock-up

Work at a gas station in canada, ama I guess.

>durr if you wanna be a spic and do this spic job, you can behave like a spic and steal things! Like a spic!

do you steal?

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Nah, there's cameras all over the place. They don't even show all the cameras to the employees cuz they don't want us to know blind spots.

It's a comfy job when u do closing shift, I read newspaper everyday i work lol. I talk with customers often enough that i'm pals with some of em.

This would not work at my hotel.
You need to get over balloons.

most annoying customer type?

Not like its really different either way...

>being legally entitled to items from lost n found weeks/months after they've been unclaimed = stealing
lol

Are you scared one day some one might r a vehicle at you store and the whole place could blow up and you could die

makes no sense. what free stuff? "here user, take this keyboard we're not using"

the retards who took too long at everything.

**walking in and looking at what alcohol to buy for 20 minutes while also having taken 10 min before getting out of ur car to put in gas and then they come and bring 20 lottery tickets and wanna replay them all**

scared? I wish for that lmao, i'd probs get money if i survived and if I died whatever. Also would be a badass story to get the ladies if I survive without going full retard losing all limbs

they sell alcohol at stations?

ye its canada, its called "deppaneur" here, alcohol candy chips chocolate cigs lottery and gas, with a few more i dont care to name

Carry stuff & look busy

what for?

bump

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Server for shitposting.

>tfw you have a GED and no certs and still get a job in IT

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no one gives a shit unless its over $5k, how fucking dumb are you, this is like con 101

lol keep telling yourself that, faggot.

Depending where you live you could be looking at a $2500 fine, 6 months in prison or both.

>retard doesnt understand basic business
If you do this once, it would cost the company more than $190 in legal fees to prosecute you. Why would a company pay $600 to get back $190?

> it costs the company for the police to process a class 1 misdemeanor
lol you moron, all you need to do is call the cops and at worst have a witness provide a statement

who is she?

I valet park cars at a restaurant. When they leave their iphone in the car on accident or on purpose, if it’s unlocked or had no passcode I can search images for “brassiere” and all of their nudes pull up. Easy to air drop to me

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Then what happens after they process the misdemeanour, do they sue? Then that ends up costing the company even more money.

This is simple, white collar fraud, the paper trail is non existent if you use cash and the method that user provided, the only way they'd find out is if you were a repeat offender. If you don't want to do it, that's fine, but the method is solid and none of your criticisms have been right.

You do not need to sue. You have the idiot on video stealing the cans for the last act of the fraud, which is theft. That's all that is needed.

So far I have nudes of at least 20 different people that I’ve saved. Seen way more. Not to mention when they flash their pussy at you when they step out of the car. $18/hr lol

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One I saved from last friday

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>he thinks the cops are going to be called on petty store theft
You fucking retard, the worse that's going to happen is either the manager or security will call you into the office and ask you to return the product or pay it back. Like I said at the start large franchises will not pursue prosecution unless you're a repeat offender and have stolen over $5000 in goods. That is the only way they can be certain to either make their money back or put you in prison.

Wow, looks like you've been wrong on every single front but you just keep trying to come up with more uninformed bullshit.

Put on a hard hat and vest and you can go into pretty much any building you want with little to no suspicion. People will just assume you’re supposed to be there

Im a certified personal trainer, it's really not a job secret but most male trainers that are very fit, tall and somewhat good lucking, pretty much get hired out a lot by women to fuck them....I get called up to consultations often, and I pretty much know when a woman wants to fuck my brains out....I've fucked many of my clients in the past, mostly mid 30s bored house wives....I no longer do that as im married, but I still get to touch ass on a daily basis when trainijg

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I'm glad you're so positive that your scheme for $195 is fool proof and going to work. Meanwhile in reality, people get the cops called on them over $5 thefts. You're a real class act, user.

Youre a pos liar. 15yrs is too far gone for you to retain any education and apply it to work. Plus whos gonna hire just a straight IT admin with no knowledge of programmin at all

EMSfag here. Been a paramedic for 5 years and an EMT for 3. Love my job working 60+ hours a week and make tons of OT. Only job I have had that I can take 3 hour naps and get paid. Also you see a lot of underage pussy and tits on the job so that's a bonus. Get a lot of offers from junkies to blow me for narcs. Seen the most beautiful woman in my life bare naked on the job but then again have seen the most disgusting things. Gangrene feet, GI bleed diarrhea, just to name a few. Great field for anyone who has the stomach for it.

so is backpacking just recreational homelessness or something?

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you will get prosecuted for $1 item.... people get charge for stealing from dollar stores...
if you are gonna steal, do something they can't prove... swap price tags, then return for the actual price= profit in store credit. put items inside other items then return them. there is aot of ways to do it much safer than what you described that doesn't involve a FAKE ID- are you retarded? you would get in prison for fake ID

>certified personal trainer
how long is the program and how much it costs to get the cert?

People like that need to be reported. Leave in reviews. Good job.

I'm not the poster , but I have taken

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>large chain supermarkets don't care
they do, its just the workers don't want to put up with the shit... however if they have a small location and strict policy they WILL charge you... Dollarama and Giant Tiger here in canada are the no go for any sketchy shit

The Danish government funded postal service is not a good way of sending mail or packages.
From my past experience as a mailman, fragile packages will not be handled delicately and the expensive looking ones have a tendency to disappear in the mail vans on the way to your house.
Now before you give me shit for this, I was a bicycle mailman, so I'd be the one to blame for bills and adverts showing up in your mailbox.

that's why you dont go there and you move around

Er DHL de bedste?

Ja, enten DHL eller UPS. De har begge en mulighed for at du kan betale dig til nænsom behandling a pakker og deres sikkerhed er bedre.

>digging in the trash for someone elses drugs

And you wonder why druggies are looked on as lowlifes.

Never work QA for any video game developer or publisher. The reason why so many games as of late are such shit in both scope and quality is because they rush development so hard that features get cut, issues never get fixed, and the work environment is usually cancerous and frustrating.

It's not like this with all companies, but I've worked QA for a few companies and it's all shit.

They exploit people with unreasonable deadlines, horrific bug quotas, and never bother to help you work within their schedule. The pay is also shit, usually $9.00/hr depending on the company. OH and it's always a temp job, meaning they hire you on got about a year or two then lay you off for three months, only to call you up and offer you your old job back. They do this so they can save millIons by not having to pay employees benefits. It's a real shit fest and many QA testers have no respect for the establishment which overlooks them.

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>They exploit people with unreasonable deadlines, horrific bug quotas, and never bother to help you work within their schedule. The pay is also shit, usually $9.00/hr depending on the company. OH and it's always a temp job, meaning they hire you on got about a year or two then lay you off for three months, only to call you up and offer you your old job back. They do this so they can save millIons by not having to pay employees benefits. It's a real shit fest and many QA testers have no respect for the establishment which overlooks them.
this applies to most lower end job these days

I've seen people burst into manic screaming fits due to the sheer workload and get fired for it the following day.

cuz they are idiots... just fail the quota, they can't fire you for that. but they can fire you for throwing a fit.... the irony of that is priceless

you did good user. you did really good.

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My gf used to work at Zaxbys, and they cleaned them there. But what used to piss her off was that other workers didn't clean the ice maker. That's the big thing to be careful of. Can harbor bacteria like mad.

I commend you. People that are young tend not to give a fuck. But the fact that you had the integrity to do that gives you my admiration. I am a chef and am also a stickler for a clean kitchen and health regulations. I got food poisening a couple time and it made me a gremaphobe in the kitchen

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problem i that people that stick to the principles get fucked on daily basis.. i got fired for standing up when employer was garnishing tips (illegal where i live)... i got fired and threatened... nothing changed, they continue to do this

i wear scrubs to molest sexy women at the clinic.

Cable Installation Tech here. AMA

You are ginormous fucking loser.

And the award for Faggiest use of a made up disguise goes to......what's your name faggot?

A handful of cool bottle openers huh?

Man you cant make that shit up. Cant wait to see your biopic.

when you say "have nice nice day" what are you expecting from me?
do you really want me to say "Thanks, you too!" or do you care if i just fuck off

Why are you LARPing as a loser?

#1 You aren't trying.
#2 go work for city or state government lower pay but have trouble keeping technical fields. In two years you can bounce to better pay with experience.

Since you are a lazy faggot this advice will fall on deaf ears.

You can literally dress up as a cop and open car a gun. I usually stop hot girls and frisk them without question. One time I fucked a 5'3 115lbs 18 year old mexican chick bc she didnt have her license. I went raw and came inside her. I gave her a warning and drove off.

Still better than autism

You did good bruh. When I hire people integrity is always the first thing I look for.

Have you ever fucked someone during a house call?

Same thing in repo. once it hits the lot its fair game whats inside. The car isn't yours anymore.

No its not. People do coke because they want to go to sleep later not stay up for 3 fucking days.

I work for DHL. If you have a jew or Arab name I usually just make it as difficult as possible for you to get your package.

Generally if you make it hard for me to deliver (organise ODDs and aren't there, don't have a postbox large enough and don't let me sign with neighbour, ask for express but aren't there etc.) I'll sign the package and make sure it goes back to the warehouse which default adds five days to your delivery. Fuck you. Just let me leave it in a safe place or neighbour. No one wants to open your shitty mail.

Lol fuck this guy

This is way too much effort. If you’re a drug addict or homeless it’s probably worth it.

Am I missing something? What's the secret here?

Or is this just a shitty attempt at a "I fuck my students" joke?

>tfw i have a Security+ cert and still working on my degree
>get co-op been working with them for nearly a year now
>Guaranteed job after I get my degree, because my company is desperate for young people in the Tech sector
You're not trying hard enough user, 15 years and nothing? I call bullshit, theres too many jobs in this field for everyone to say no to you for 15 years.

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Nice. Share more.

any hello/goodbye greeting and fuck off
if you're quick about it i can get back to whatever i have to do or reading or whatever

you're a dumbfuck

I’m a corporate lawyer. A GOOD local lawyer is absolutely worth $350. I consult with and hire them all the time. The problems are:
1. There are so many bad lawyers who went to shitty schools, don’t know anything, and are unprofessional. It’s hard for the consumer to tell them apart.
2. If you pay by the hour the lawyer has an incentive to waste time. Even if not in an outrageous way. And of course they’ll do things you don’t need a lawyer for. It’s best if you can negotiate a flat fee.
3. Most of the best lawyers don’t take on a lot of small jobs because they’re more hassle and don’t pay as well.

This is basically just a convoluted form of shoplifting. Your car rental tip was way more legit.

1. No. The company doesn’t pay anything to prosecute you. It’s done by the state.
2. Even if you were right, they’ll pay $600 to punish someone for stealing $200 because it scares off 10 more people who would do the same.