I have a quirk, I do what I call these Litany things. I say stuff like this:
No one can
no one should
no one will
no one is
no one might
or like this:
I don't care
I don't have to
I don't want to
I never will
I never can
I never should
I never want to
I never might
I never think so
I do that a lot, it's weird.
i do this too except it's gibberish
i've deduced that "bellet" means dog
i do this whe i think about my past and rember a cringe moment tbh
exactly, that's when I do it, trying to block
muscle spasms and blurting out things like run! run! run!
Theres a name for this where it's like tueretts but not.
i have ocd
when i used to get bad intrusive thoughts i'd contort my face but that hurt too much so i started laughing instead but then i got a lung mucus problem and couldn't laugh too much anymore so now i try to ignore the thoughts but sometimes i'll involuntarily say random words or strings of words out loud like that
i don't like when i get so caught up in a memory that my body assumes the body language of me in that memory. i think people may mistake me for a crazy person, when i'm otherwise lucid.
I could go for some adderall
saying out loud is the baddy, ya gotta stop that
I used to align things, like on a desk or counter, everything had to be aligned and equally spaced. not so much anymore. I also had to get things in twos
mine is pure ocd so i direct everything inwardly and argue with myself about my beliefs and identity and sometimes i'll strawman someone else in an argument but it never manifested in the clean freak way
i only clean if i feel pressured to do so or am fed up with how messy everything is my house is a mess i never think to do anything because all i do is argue and play video games and shitpost
>argue with myself about my beliefs and identity
guilty
dubs
>You should eat something.
>Eat what? You didn't buy any food.
>Yes I did. You should cook something.
>F*c*i*g you cook something
>I...
Quoting my're self tbh
the thing is i don't have any identity issues. i know what i am and i know i'm relatively normal, it's just whenever i hold a strong belief or opinion on anything there's an intrusion to the contrary.
I want to feel solid in my beliefs but the thing is you're always second guessing yourself. Which is a healthy thing, really. I'm permanently skeptical about even myself. Who knows how I'll feel a few years from now.
I have trouble cleaning too
I learned to stay away from energy drinks. I had no idea those things can give suicidal thoughts. I started drinking NOS daily and was going on about suicide. A friend said to stop them, and I did. Suicidal thoughts completely disappeared.
and if you just start having less stuff, it's easier to clean.
Caffeine is an anxiety antagonist. Or just stimulants in general, I used to get it when I did adderall and coke
my garage is packed to the roof with just shit
my backyard is littered to all fuck
the only clean parts of my house are my bedroom, the hall leading to it, and my dining room
it's so much i don't even want to try so i just try to preserve the areas i go to the most
Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany!
Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany! Litany!