Smackdown Live Gamethread #1

This im just going to fap then sleep

I'm here live, attendance is not looking good.

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WWMEME wishes they could draw GATOH MOVE numbers.

this do this just so the old men can smell the stench of sweaty girls dont they?

Why is everything on japanese?

based or cringe?

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theyre in san francisco

If they're fucking, based
If they're having a match, cringe

Is Roman gonna open the show again?

it's cringe because WWE women's wrestling as a rule is shit
but it's also based since it has played a crucial role in the downfall of WWE, and thus, pro wrestling in general in the US over the past year

cringe, this is what based looks like

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Oh no no no she can't be serious

>attendance is not looking good.
>arena is packed
>so many people want to see that show that some of them are willing to stand outside just to see 20% of it
?

BASED

Is Roman going to kill someone again this week with his horrible mic skills?

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Filming a stripper scene for total divas and broke her toe on the pole.

yes, until the end of time

Is this Bayley's punishment of the week? How bad will she lose?

She's been held up at the all you can eat buffet for a few days now.

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happening

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This show needs more Otis

This is Bayley's reward for sticking around. She'll actually get in a decent amount of offense, but of course she is losing, if they're feeling extra generous the match might even end in a DQ so she doesn't look too bad.

I'm here for AsuKairi

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>untied shoes
so she's getting the Bliss match

Ratings going down already

>new

uh what? he's been champion for weeks now

SOS
RATINGS ARE DROPPIN
SOS
STOCKS BE FALLIN

>pulling the pants high to hide her gut
Let it out, pig!

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>Michael Cole

why is he here

>opening with shuck and jive

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Oh hey Cole

>WWE Champion opens show to tremendous anti-pop

damn wrestlemania happened this week?

>people watch on the Hulu and the YouTubes now you see
>well... that 30% or so drop in viewership over the past year that's been fairly consistent and that isn't comparable to any other relevant program or sport, again, YouTubes and also Roman had cancer but he's back now!

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I hope we get barefoot Liv tonight, since smackdown always copies everything raw does

Wal-Mart Patriot Okada may just be my favorite Okada of all time.
Bless his little heart.

It's still hard to take this midcard gimmick serious as WWE champion.

RAM tryin to kill SDL

the WWE champ is out here throwing pancakes

GEE KOFI, DIS A GOOD DITTY RIGHT 'CHERE
>SHO' NUFF XAVIER! MASSA MCMAHON GON' LOVE US

BASED

Kofi has been champ for three weeks. He's not the NEW WWE champion anymore. He's just the WWE champion. WWE is going so far nowadays with trying to shove shit down our throats.

Kofi somehow looks even more cringe without Big E and Woods.

Is this the first Smackdown since Wrestlemania?

Would you finger Kofi's boipussy if you were all alone with him and he had had a couple drinks?

>all this kofi shilling because kofi cant go over by himself

why the fuck are we getting a recap weeks after winning the title

was he there to get her autograph?

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>not being able to fill a two hour show despite a ton of talent and needing to instead show highlights from a month ago

Time to break up New Day?

have sex

I was runner up to a giant promotion and lost it to a black woman diversity hire.
kofi's as champ legit triggers me to no end

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Based Big Dog working the obese smarks so hard that they have a heart attack

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The WWE legitimately fucking sucks, look at this shit.

its pathetic how wwe is babysitting kofis reign

I don't buy it. Vince is a petty fucker, he'll keep punishing Bayley as a proxy for Sasha until she snaps.

so is everyone already over the whole kofi thing now?

wtf is this

>Kofi winning
>"""greatest WrestleMania moment ever"""
hmmmmm, this is like saying some random Glacier match is the greatest moment in Nitro history

How much longer are they going to draw out this "You're nigger and accomplished alot. Everyone clap." BS. It was fine after first week of Wrestlemania.

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That would be the most precious thing ever, and yeah, he probably would if they were there at the same time.

not even close to fact, WWE gets all their viewership from Hulu and the Network, ratings literally haven't changed for wrestling at all.

WWE sells out shows constantly and the stocks are higher than ever. You zoomers have no idea how shit like that works.

>Kofi is dropping the ball
>Ratings are down
>What do we do
>Throw Michael Cole out there to interview him

Based superstar michael cole making kofi go over

it was never fine

JESUS WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS
The SD roster is overbloated as fuck and they're wasting time fucking recapping Wrestlemania AGAIN?

>witnesses HBK/Taker in person
>"your mediocre win might be the greatest WM moments ever!"

Kofi hasn't put one ass in a seat. Record low ratings incoming.

Kofi was and always will be a midcarder. He didn't deserve shit.

>champ is so shit that they have to remind the audience whos the champ

YOU DESERVE IT.

>work for 11 years doing absolute nothing
>ya deserve it boi

Beinge

It's funny that people wonder why nobody watches this shit anymore. I'd imagine most everyone backstage knows the product sucks but can't say anything because they'll lose their job.

Nah man he's rewarding Bayley because that'll get under Sasha's skin more, if he was punishing her then Sasha would think that she was right to try and walk out.

>Kofi the head kicker Kingston
>Kofi the head stomper Kingston
>Kofi concussion machine Kingston
>Kofi cracks your skull Kingston
>Kofi melon smasher Kingston
>Kofi the career ended Kingston

>as the crowd is HOT as fuck and the stadium is literally packed
yikes, you gotta get out of your fantasy world.

>being so scared and intimidated by black people you can't even think about them without some autistic rage and insult
racist are literally autist.

Smackdown is going to have to make some big moves before moving to Fox. This roster just isn't good enough

>its a recap episode

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10 minute recap segment to open the show. this company is dead.

nigger

Hey randall sorry about that back bump from 10 years ago

>hold my beer RAW

>Greatest Wrestlemania moment ever
Fuck this shit.
I'm Making the Switch Completely, New Era is the Perfect Time for it.

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just two more months and it'll be a beach episode.

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>day after record low ratings
>open the show with 10 minutes of recap

>the white man says as he realizes people are aware of his fear and insecurities

This is actual trash. Is anyone going to ever talk some sense into Vince or Haitch? Or is this truly the end?

Apologize.

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Ya boilin? Ya brewin? Ya steamin? Ya simmerin? Ya angry? Ya agitated? Ya mad? Ya upset? Ya wound up? Ya furious? Ya torqued? Ya vexed? Ya miffed? Ya pissed? Ya peeved? Ya ragin? Ya hot? Ya bothered? Ya incensed? Ya livid? Ya bent outta shape? Ya turnin' red? Ya seein' red? Ya angry? Ya mad? Ya seethin?

LET HIM CUM

>let's open the show with a boring recap of events that transpired A FUCKING MONTH AGO with our lukewarm champion that can't draw flies to shit
>surely this will bump the ratings up
>howcouldthispossiblyhappen.pdf

STUPID
STUPID
STUPID

back to your ((containment board)), buddy

I'm not even white ya simp nigger

SOS
THE FAT BOY CRYING

Let him cum

>10 first minute is literally just recaps
yo what the fuck

SOS
THE BLACK MAN DYING

Will they mention Bryan this week?

welcome to the big leagues kid

Stop looking in the mirror and that won't happen anymore.

who?

This is where the Big Boys Play

SOS
RATINGS ARE CRASHING

KO callin it like it is

God I miss WCW

BASED KO SHOOTING ON THE MIDCARDER

Bryan Bella

Wrong. I'm a lankchad

SOS
WOODS BE KEKING

IT"S A NEW LOW YES IT IS!!

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Wow Woods looked like a bitch there

Kev's French accent going into HYPERDRIVE

I WANT TO CUM INSIDE CARMELLA

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wow they ruined the only good segment

Why are you all surprised that an incomoeytent senile old man is fucking things up?

dicklet btfo

wtf Jeff is injured?

>that kofi segment
well at least it can’t get any wors-
>bayley music plays

Ok Bayley buddies are back

her smile and optimism: gone

Bryan has taken some big bumps since coming back but no one has hurt him until now (not even the brutal Brock Lesnar match). I'd be so pissed if Kofi ended Bryan's career.

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>Kofi
>Bayley
holy shit the ratings won't be able to survive this one

Is she gonna be okay?

>Bayley

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Why do they show a Hope Solo commercial every break?

>recap followed by bayley to open the show
eek, this smackdown never stood a chance lads

fuck this it's almost 730 pm here im going to bed

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She got beat by Bliss and Charles using non finishers. I don't want to see her cry

Hey Central Time Zone bro

Damn, either Becky isn't important to warrant second hour anymore or they're punishing Bayley

to remind you of her axe wound

Bryan screwed Bryan. He's either fragile or just that willing to put himself in danger of injury.

>promo starts the show
>reminding me that roman will have a promo
>bayley vs becky
I'm losing bros

Worked

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>kofi recap
>new day segment
>bayley vs becky
>becky promo
they want us to stop watching?

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I completely forgot the hardy boyz were back together, so imagine my surprise when it turns out theyre the tag champs too

This is the first time I’m paying attention in a few weeks, did they explain what happened to sasha yet?

FIRST FOR BECKY TWO PITS

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Yo where liv at ?

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Say what you want, but Becky vs. Bayley is a pretty high profile TV match and I gaurantee there will be an uptick in the ratings once this match begins. Screencap this.

I wish they'd show the Firefly FunHouse shirt on the ad

Pitstop

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Becky/Bayley match

O/U on botches

>Kevin jelly belly Owens
>Kevin couch potato Owens
>Kevin skip leg day, arm day, and every other day Owens
>Kevin ba da bah bah bah I’m lovin’ it Owens
>Kevin super size me Owens
>Kevin yes I would like fries with that Owens
>Kevin two scoops are not enough Owens

>cutting the WWE champ's promo short

the absolute state of kucki

>Shane McMahon assaults Miz Dad and gets heat
>Roman assaults Vince and is supposed to be face

where in the hell did continuity in storylines go and when did it leave?

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or Becky is getting another segment later

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what's that, dried cum?

Can someone please explain to me why Dana Brooke is in this match?

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Jesus fuck, that intro they forced Chimmel to say to get this dumpster fire over

Kofi getting cut. Fuck.

Did Vince wake up today and come to the conclusion that no one remembers what happened at Wrestlemania.......?

broke her toe on a stripper pole

lol

>Corbin-like announcement for Becky Lynch
What the fuck...

It finally clicked. There was always something about Kofi's voice that bugged me but I finally figured it out...

He sounds like a black Keanu Reeves.

>beko
Oh dear

so the veterans can stop crying

listen to that pop for Becky

O/U 1.5

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Probably

Becky getting none of the main time segments again tonight?

Fire is goin out quick

would not be surprised if she politicked to get in it

>Can someone please explain to me why Dana Brooke is in this match?

Asuka/Kairi are tied up in tag teams
Sasha left the stable

OVER

>all this desperate Wrestlemania moment shilling

she only does it in raw

Sasha jumped the fence

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man bayley is getting buried with all the becky recaps lmao

seriously whats up with this

YA GOT FAKE FUCKING TEETH YA LARDBAG.

That's ok, she'll still get blamed for the ratings continuing to go down instead of Seth and Kofi

>>Heres the top draw in whats left of the company
>>Eat commercial bitches

>Start with Kofi
>onward to Beko
Lol why do they keep shooting themselves in the foot like this? And they're probably going to do something with the women's tag scene too. That's a full hour of garbage on a 2 hour show.

so did wrestlemania happen this week?

anyone else post on /fit/ cbt threads and notice Carter is there replying to himself talking shit to white guys he's jelly of...

Its funny, they think he's black. But we know that little ugly spic when we see him.
CARTER I know your here, i know you have been thinking about it.

KYS

They didn't even do this much shilling during the Rock/Cena II build-up.

>back from commercial
>goes right back to commercial

I don’t care what anybody says, this year of WWE has surpassed Guest Host era in terms of awfulness.

expect charlotte to appear and the refs to breakup the fight for the 100th time

Would you rather wear the Hogan fist helmet in public, or a Becky 2 Belts shirt?

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No one cares about what you do on this board let alone on other boards you fat fuck

O couldn't say 80% of the screen is a fucking commercial

helmet would at least gets laughs

that helmet is based

That Hogan fist helmet is fucking kino tho.

THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS......................
THIS............
THIS............

THIS

what's the main event tonight?

Hogan helmet could definitely be fun for random sporting events or bar talk.

Just know you no matter what board you go to. People unironically want you to jump off a building you miserable little mexican

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Holy fuck how many god damn commercials was that

>becky hurt her leg missing a kick

kofi and owens

That helmet looks based as fuck

>Becky is the big thing
>Air her matches with no audio while fucking comercials are picture in picture
>amazing

I'm so sick of shitty black wrestling shirts that I would absolutely wear the Hulkster fist.

Agreed but you replied to the wrong post

This fucking HAS to be out for auction somewhere

I like this new Bayley..

>The hotstreak that Bayley is on
Didn't she lose last week?

Actually not a bad match

sasha banks in the right time

Becky's selling is so bad, she missed the fucking turnbuckle by several inches then sold it late, then went down too early on the clothesline and made it look like shit. This was within 30 seconds so she probably botched again while I typed this. How are there people who think she is good?

The helmet. No question

Is New Day on? Some flapjacks just went flying across my screen.

Yes, but she actually looked decent in the Charlotte match (unlike the Bliss 2 minute squash).

This match is shit

*rim-shot

Lads, whats the best cure for Balch?

Even Mandy Rose has a better knee strike than Bayley. Why did this ugly Jay Leno looking fucker even start using one?

Is it too soon for Becky to drop a title?

Bailey needs to show that fucking body

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Charles is so boring

SensibleChuckle.gif

shes probably losing the smackdown one to charles at the ppv

Becky sold that boot like shit

DAT FINISH LMAO

From WOOOOs too BOOOOOs.

Charles kick was nowhere near Becky's face

I just don't want to see her suffer anymore

>Bailey getting jobbed out for being friends with a crybaby

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Eww wtf happened to Charlotte lips ?

whatever

literally 80% of that match was played in the corner of commercials

charlotte actually looks like a champ

Finally something interesting happens

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Pretty sure it went under. Some bad sell jobs, but didn't see any obvious fuckups.
Helps that their styles actually overlap a little.

If Charlotte was going to attack why wouldn't you have her do it to end the match with a DQ? That would help protect Bayley a little which they need to build up the division.

What is Charles doing to her face?

Would have helped if the kick was actually close to her face

How am I supposed to take this faggot seriously when he whines on Twitter about video games and fans?

>she actually looked decent in the Charlotte match

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wait no refs breaking up the brawl?

3 losses in a row for Bayley.
She's getting booked like a MITB winner.
Gonna suck having to listen to that retard talk.

Professor Black is back.

Black is worse on the mic than Ricoshit. That's an accomplishment.

She does. Lacy will tho too.
Tall Muscular Blonds.
Champion Race
Champion Look.

Champions.... Simple

I don't read twitter so I don't care

CLOCKWORK

Based vintage hardys

>aliester
>not floating upside down in a pisstube

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Are they gonna give up the belts or is this a work?

So is Black injured or something why is he only cutting promos

unimpressive promo from Black, yawn
Mojo did it better

These dark "I'm so edgy" characters are so played out and my main caw in wwe games used to be just that. Except I grew up.

I love Becky but her last good match was at the Rumble against Asuka. It seems like her ring work has declined as her popularity grew.

It reminds me of Stone Cold becoming more of a brawler and less technical when he became a mega star.

Are they going to officially cancel the Smackdown Tag Team Division

lmaoooo exactly
Why doesn't WWE force these guys to make private accounts or just not use Twitter and Facebook at all?

I thought Aleister was foreign? why doesn't he have an accent?

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>fade
>to
>blaaaaaaaaa
>cuck

Based Aleister

English isn't Black's first language. What's Ricoshit's excuse?

who is this far cry villain

FINALLY SOME REAL DRAWS.

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What is with these fucking simpletons and cutting away from EVERYONE'S fucking entrance?

nigga what do you want to see then? It's just a gimmick that will always work, you can't reinvent the wheel.

>we have gyros
>offer a roast beef gyro

THAT IS JUST A SANDWICH, ARBY'S. A GYRO IS MADE FROM LAMB AND OTHER MEANS ON A SPIT SLOWLY COOKED. DAMN YOUR LIES H. JON BENJAMIN

He’s brown

Stop comparing the Stone GOAT to that bitch

They're doing a reset with him and re-introducing him to the audiences.

>Bray comes out to replace Jeff

Matt Hardy and his Alcoholic brother Nero

based.

He is twitter.com/NederlandWWE/status/1105787989248995328

only cm punk can save the wwe....

i stopped watching in 2001, this shit is so beta now.

So is the fox thing a myth or what ?

He’s a mulatto. They have a lot of developmental disabilities

I forgot post-WM we magically forget the last three months

so, are they smart enough to have NO DONG IS EVER TRULY DING go against Bray?

>Reintroducing someone 2 months after they debuted
classic

Who actually is in the SDL Tag Team Division?
Heavy Machinery
Naka/Rusev
Ah....

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Like pottery

Black is a typical Dutchman, speaks perfect English but can't lose the twang.

If this was Raw we'd still be on the first segment

Almost 45 minutes in and SD hasn't even hit 300 for its first game thread... ratings are gonna be total shit when this show is done.

NEW

>Lars segment
good night, guys

Are you seriously comparing them? Holy shit delusional beyond all comprehension. She is shit on mic, same fucking shitty gimmick delivered badly and now that she is wrestling on BOTH shows and shows how bad fucking women wrestling is.

BASED LARS SHOOT HURTING PEOPLE

Lars is just a rehash of early Braun

Didn’t this story already happen with brock and the hardys?

This is a recap show

FUCK YOU

after WWE stock, ratings, attendance, and other numbers plummet even more in the coming months is Vince going to be retarded enough to keep moving ahead with XFL Failure 2.0?

IS THIS THE RETURN OF BROKEN MATT?

>lars shilling video
THIS WHOLE SHIT IS NOTHING BUT RECAPS AND FILLER

It's three times as good as RAW was last night, but that's not saying too much.

Smackdown sucks now.

>I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT MY INJURIES
>OR SHOW YOU THIS PROMOTIONAL PACKAGE AS WE STAND HERE IN DARKNESS FOR 60 SECONDS.

Ah, kayfabe. More mysterious and layered than a tiramisu.

>Jeff: "I might as well just show you"
>Dunn: *plays a super produced video recap including a shot of Kurt Angle for no reason*
This show is fucking weird

Jeff needing surgery in TNA and them vacating the belts is what led to Big Money Matt and eventually Broken Matt

Noone cares about a nigger having the championship and becky over exposure is turning it even worse. We havent even seen fucking Roman Reigns yet...

Not to mention, the other league that was supposed to "rival the NFL" folded not even a season in.

Ya seething Ramtist?

Lars vs Matt at the Hardy compound

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>protect Bayley
FUCKING KEK

We need the savior Bryan

why wouldn't you want to protect your workers when you need to build up a dead division