>Confusion has struck the pro wrestling industry with news of a letter given to United States Navy officers in the Arabian Sea. The letter purports itself to have been written by pro wrestling businessman Eric Bischoff, who was last seen leaving an interview for the podcast 83 Weeks.
>The Navy reported in its official sailors' journal on a major ransom expedition to recover 5 American hostages from Somali pirates. The hostages were mandated by the pirates upon release with delivering the message. It reads as follows:
>"Alright! I'm glad this part is over, I really, really am. Now, I've gotta be honest. I've been doing this for a long time. I told Captain Wajaale earlier, when I told him what I wanted to do, I wanted to give him a heads up so he wouldn't send me to the gangplank and toss me overboard. Not that that hasn't happened before either, but I didn't really - I wanted to give him a heads up. And I told him I was gonna accept the ransom. And I said 'you know...' he, he said 'are you comfortable doing it?' I said 'well I'm really comfortable making people hate me. I've just never done it in an environment where the black bandanas are a shoot before."
>"So here we are. Now I do want to ask a question, though: out of all of you on this ship, is there anybody here - and be honest - is there anybody here that wanted to see me taken to the gangplank and get tossed overboard? A few of you! Damn! I've still got it! Hahaha. It's kind of like a ratings war, or liquidating your contracts, once they've figured it out it's hard to lose it."
>"But had I continued, and, and gone further in trying to make you all hate me, until the point where somebody actually did come in from the deck and drag me to the hostage area and maybe spend the last night of all 6 of our lives in a Somali pirate gang's jail... if I would have done that, then the very next U.S. cruiser that would've come out to these coordinates would have more than likely blown this ship to smithereens."
>"And that means I would have done my job. Because if Captain Wajaale would have called me up 4 or 5 months ago when he did and said 'look Eric, we've got this thing called Aden Stalk, it's a lot of fun, it's a great opportunity, you know, some really smart people, you'll hear ideas, you'll gain experience, but I don't wanna do it the way we normally do it; see, what I wanna do Eric, is I want to format my AdenXCaptorville show or event to be like a professional wrestling event. I don't want America's military to think, I want America's military to feel.'. Hmmm! That would've been right up my alley. Because that's what I do. Or at least that's what I've done for the last thirty years."
>Sources close to Eric Bischoff are bewildered as to his motive in joining a Somali pirate gang. Some speculate he is also a hostage who is being forced to use his negotiation skills on their behalf, and that the letter is really a call for help.
>Conrad Thompson, the co-host of 83 Weeks, said "his last words to me were, 'if you say roll tide one more freaking time, I'm going down to the port right now and boarding the first ship that'll take me to go see what the Hell a roll tide is'. Roll tide."
This is what /wooo/tards pass for a meme? No shit they steal all our memes
Leo Flores
I joined this site about 2006. We made it to Fox News for, I don't know, was it 45 minutes? And it's great when you do something like this and you can say it made it to Fox News. So who is a newfag like you to call me /wooo/? Ignoring the other fetishistic posts saying you hate me cause you love me cause I rest my case.
Nathaniel Howard
Bump!
Bentley Evans
...
Isaiah Ortiz
This is a big fucking deal.
Aiden Powell
Bump
Alexander Allen
Not reading all that waffle
Isaac Ortiz
Not bass. Not even trout.
Jayden Wood
bro give me a summary. i aint reading all that
Cooper Sanders
Eric Bischoff nearly provoked a Somali pirate gang he has joined into executing him and 5 American hostages, by offering terms for a ransom. Eric claims that if he went further and further in making compromises, the ship would be destroyed, and it would make people hate America's military, just like in pro wrestling. Eric adds that if Captain Wajaale wanted to make people feel instead of think, he should've executed him, and thus he would've done his job and it would've been right up his alley. This makes people in the U.S. wonder if he's also a hostage.
Matthew Powell
Bump.
Elijah Russell
This
John Hill
So is this the new thing here? Anytime someone posts something you don’t like you accuse them of being from /wooo? TEDX Bischoff posting has been going ham on here for weeks. /wooo only got shut down a few days ago... kinda makes me wonder who’s working who?
Aaron Ortiz
Thanks.
Gavin King
As long as Hillary is not in prison, neither will Conrad be.
