Can't get in the mood for vidya because the thought that nobody knows for sure how and why everything exists is...

Existence exists. It's the one concrete truth. "How" or "why" are irrelevant.

How do I get god to speak to me? I've begged for His help but He will not touch me with His presence

Shut up and start caring for yourself.
You are real and that alone should give you the drive to keep living.
If you need answers, find them yourself.

Then go play some existential videogames. Play Silent Hill, The Void, Lisa. I dunno.

Mescaline

yes you're a thin veneer reality has propped up, you are your senses and memories and that's all

so accept that, move on, and enjoy it.

if you can't enjoy it, you have depression and should see a therapist and psychiatrist to get anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds because that thin veneer of existence is awfully fragile

avoid alcohol, maybe smoke some weed or do a tiny dose of shrooms, live a little, and play good videogames man. we're all in the same boat, so love yourself, love each other, and try to make it less terrible.

>what are jews

yea OP, this has bothered me for quite some time. If you throw in the mystery of why we're conscious, you will find yourself even more confused by this set of circumstances we're in.

>problem of future contingents
>uncaused causes
user, there are just too many problems with free will for it to be real.

why is there something instead of nothing?