MEANWHILE IN ILIAD Yea Forums

>tfw no siren gf

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Friendly reminder that Ulysses is a scheming, deceiving little rat who can't fight for shit

>Helen the Bitch

>tfw no naiad gf

Use a dictionary

The developer. Some beta testers went rogue with the announcement of the Adam and Eve expansion pack so they started larping as the developers for the new players. But the developer is hard at work and He'll get things going again without causing a massive change to the game.

guys, please help, I'm on this super sexy witches island, and she's turning everyone into pigs

Don't worry about missing deeper meanings. Just read to enjoy at the start. That is what makes great books, the ability to enjoy them at multiple levels.

The Iliad has a lot of great action scenes, but in between we recognize the futility of the war. Troy will ultimately be swept away and turned to ruin, thousands of men and women die far from home in a conflict they don't have any real stake in, even Achilies' pursuit of vengeance doesn't bring him any kind of peace.

>capital G
>plural

They work for Disney

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thanks for the fucking spoilers asshole

t. Paris

I prefer the Iliad because Hector is a much more sympathetic character and it has deeper themes about conflict and violence. The Odyssey is fun and has great poetry and adventures though. I wish we hadn't lost the other parts of the Trojan cycle.

odysseus kills the suitors and stabs the son of poseidon (a cyclops) in the eye

The dev is named Ouranos tho...

Why is Achilles being such a bitch me and my friends are getting slaughtered as that Paris cunt laughs at us when he literally can't die

Your average greek/roman mytho:
>Zeus rapes a poor, scared, powerless girl
>Hera is mad as fuck
>Instead of punishing her cheating husband, she punishes the raped girl with a curse or something, ruining her life forever
In one single book I've read that story like 5 times. What the fuck did the Greeks mean by this?

You need make sure you are reading a good translation that preserves the original poetic structure. The Iliad was made to be enjoyed so word for word translations, while accurate, are pointless and you will ultimately miss the point the original author tries to convey.

You should read out of enjoyment and let any revelations about hidden meanings come to you naturally throughout the day.

Achilleus and Patroklos had hot gay sex the entire time they were in that tent and there's nothing you can do to change that.

>When you rape a girl in Athena's temple and she's the one who gets punished for it.

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greek hospitality, because the women were not willing to accept zeus, there were not being hospitable towards him. hospitality in greek culture is basically the one constant that everyone has to pursue

>what the fuck did the Greeks mean by this

It's the women's fault, wear longer skirts.

just have your last man standing seduce her lol

They were jealous gods and humans were their play things. Only Zeus had the power to kill te other gods. At one point in the Illiad the gods who support Troy and the Greeks face off in battle but two of them stop and are like "Why are we even bothering fighting? We can't kill each other and these mortals aren't really worth the effort anyways."

This is my waifu, Artemis. She is the goddess of monster hunting and virginity.

Also Paris is the ultimate casual. He could have had the skills to beat 140 GQ Rajang by picking Artemis but instead he chose to get his dick wet in forbidden pussy. Inconcievable.

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>women
Were there even any women in the fighting in that entire book? Pretty sure the entire thing was just a giant sausage fest.

How the fuck can she punish Zeus? Zeus is the strongest god and nobody can do shit to him.

>he fell for the meme

Zeus is a fucking prick asshole and everyone tried to overthrow him. Raping married women has been punishable by death since before human civilization existed. Some of the oldest writing we have is of a dad warning his son to not have sex with random women.

read the metamorphoses, there is a lot of that in it, but also tons of more far out crazy stories too

the odyssey invented "yep that's me, you're probably wondering how I wound up here"

>read the metamorphoses
Yeh, that's exactly the book I'm reading rn

What the fuck was his problem?

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Most of the women in Troy when it gets sacked die.
Also, a canonical army of Amazons shows up in between Hector and Achilies' deaths. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penthesilea

The metamorphoses is literally just Ovid being buttblasted that he was exiled by Augustus and making his own shitty fanfiction of his favorite mythos except all the power figures are unjustified dicks.

Exactly, this is why you should only rape unmarried women and thots

Did he invent the record scratch too or was it Daedalus?

Metroid was always a shit game backtracking and convoluted design to where player's fondest memories of the game are autistically drawing maps of the entire game. Metroidvania rip offs are even worse fuck you hollow knight

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well it starts with him invoking the muses to sing a song, so kinda

the figures were always dicks

how far in?

>Aphrodite teleports Paris to his bed before getting killed by Menelaus and forces Helen to have sex with him even though this breaks the agreement that the Achaeans and Trojans set themselves
Was Aphrodite the original "have sex" poster?

>rape married women
>then punish them for being raped
Why does anyone present Zeus as anything but a gigantic cunt?

>Troy when it gets sacked
Thanks for the spoilers asshole. I really thought they were gonna win...

Impossible to tell from a glance. Playing a very dangerous game. But it's not like your life expectancy was particularly long regardless.

>Alright I got money, food, a family and a personal army; what could go wrong
>Sir the Assyrians are here
>Fug :DDD

All his brothers were more popular than him.

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Poseidon raped Medusa, and then Athena got jealous about the rape so she cursed Medusa to have snake hair
and then later she was killed on a dare

hector runs away in terror from Achilles until he is forced to fight

Zeus will rape you if you try anything funny.

literally every greek god is an absolute cunt in some aspect, save for hades, and thats more because of the fact that he just stays in the underworld, and does his job

HE DID IT AGAIN THE FUCKING MADMAN

DIOMEDES JUST SENT ARES BACK UP TO OLYMPUS WITH A SPEAR IN HIS GUT

CAN ANYONE STOP THIS MAN

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Then why does her gorgon sisters also have snake hair?

Fucking Ovid. Biggest hack since, well, he's the first hack I suppose.

I'm on book 14 of 15.
Been slugging through it, I'm really bad with names, and greek and roman literature is all about throwing in hundreds of characters. It's good tho.

Thats the exact opposite of what the Disney Hercules movie taught me

reminder that zeus is NOT my god and Cronus did nothing wrong

this. Iliad is the Fate Stay Night of the Greeks.

>another list of soldier names no one cares about for 4 pages

Greeks thought Hades is a cunt to everybody forever after their death while other gods mess only with a few people.

yeah, thats because thats his job

Reminder that Hades did LITERALLY nothing wrong. In the original legend Persephone went to the underworld willing as she was sick of Demeter not allowing her any true freedom. Only later versions twisted it into him kidnapping her.

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can we talk about how Titan's Quest somehow still keeps getting updated with huge content patches and nobody is paying attention to it

>Told that if he fights, he will die
>Spends the entire first half of the story sulking in a tent

Damn. Consider my expectations subverted

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I felt he portrayed Letona and Ceres gracefully.

Well, maybe except for the story where she has all of one queen's children murdered, but at least she kind of deserved it for being too proud.

What is it called? A cunter?

>he doesn't know how to beat him with even a fork
why are you here

A T H E N S
T
H
E
N
S

yeah it can be a bit taxing to read because of that. the way i went into it is that the specific names told in each poem aren't really as important as the outcomes themselves, hence the theme of metamorphosis. it's pretty much just a bunch of jumbled stories of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"

RIP man

Achilles has 1hp.

Your friend

name a bigger chad, i DARE you to

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>Blacks? In MY ancient Greek mythology? I say NEVER!

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Titan Quest is what Asscreed Odyssey should have been instead of that bullshit singleplayer MMO, and on top of that you couldn't use shields

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YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU KILLED ACHILLES BUT IT WAS I, PATROCLUS!
>*dead*

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>exploit
Bet you killed Ceaseless Discharge by walking to the entrance, too.

Hearing moral tales about hubris from a fucking Roman (at the birth of the empire) must've rung as hollow then as it does now.

I'm cool with the rest. Ovid just kind of seems like a faggot.

>everyone worships Zeus despite him being a gigantic cunt
>Prometheus literally saved humanity by providing them with fire even after Zeus, for no reason beside being the cunt that he is, told him not to
Prometheus is the true bro of Greek mythology.

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"I'm just gonna sulk in my tent and let thousands of my comrades die so they know how much they need me. Yea.... that'll show them!"

Hector is clearly the hero of this story.

the end of the poem is him slaughtering 100 men along with his sissy son

And she was fun to play as.

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fuckin' hate how they shoehorn diomedes into doing everything relevant desu

nestorbros ww@

>The Iliad
Yeah you're cool, bro. I took highschool English too.

They did it partially out of fear of upsetting him otherwise. Prometheus is a bro but there was nothing humans could to to help him or support him without putting a lighting shaped target on their backs.

The Illiad literally begins with Zeus visit Ethiopia for a feast.

Truly a man of virtues.

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>you will never be THIS much of a brainlet
feels fucking good

>tfw extremely well read and good with words
>literally can't do high school algebra
At least I can fool people into thinking I'm smart because I read.

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>When your elite legion of homosexual pike-men get btfo by a pack of roman twinks whose tunics hardly cover their tight little asses when they throw their javelins.

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Men, I see a temple in the distance.

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Why do people think the ancient world wasn't connected with other cultures when it clearly was to a certain degree?

>you_can't_learn_greek.jpg

Play Apotheon

>be Diomedes
>everyone mocks you for not being half the man your father was
>in reality have the biggest kill streak and even stood up against the gods
Diomedes had the biggest balls out of all the Achaeans

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probably very recently by the tone of your post

I wouldn't say extremely well-read in my case but that's pretty much how it is for me. I do want to improve in math though, just because I want to go into programming, which requires a bit of math.

>a bit

Diomedes is fucking based

Why are there no games about epic poems?

they were btfo way before rome was important