This series was shit since day 1 and you zoom zooms only liked it because it was babbies first vidya romance

>2007
>zoom zoom
It's a typical boomer game, retard.

I'm 32 myself and all my fellow ME boys are in the similar range.

quick rundown please sir. yes I am a baby mind

ignore him, fitgirl repacks are safe. the "mun miner" comes from the fact you can agree to mine on the website to support the work. it's optional and not anywhere near the main page

Shepard was too busy saving the world to give a shit about women.

have sex

Driving around in a retarded buggy tank over rangen noise terrain at exclamation points and question marks.
"I WILL DESTROY YOU", "ENEMIES EVERYWHERE"
Blatant shoddy console port.
Bitcoin mining.

>Worst girl
Pobody's nerfect

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you're probably around my age

you're not wrong op, i remember asking for it and playing it through purely to see the blue alien sex scene and beat my meat to it repeatedly

never has a save file been loaded so many times, ever

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based

yes

Bet I've died in dark souls and loaded a save more times than you've fapped to Liara in that save.

No, it started being shit at 3.

Tell us who your wife is because of the ME series

Why pick only one?

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Liara or Jack are only true patrician choices

Jack and Miranda, at the same time, is the true partician choice.

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>babbies first vidya romance

Mass Effect had a romance story? It's been a long time since I played but I don't remember that. I remember it being about chasing some alien from planet to planet who was trying to help some giant creatures eat everyone or something.

>Liara
I bet you like Rey from Star Wars too don't you?

But I didn't like any of the romanceable options in ME1. Literally saved myself for Tali.

...how old were you?
But yeah, Saren was sort of like Beni from the Mummy.
Oh wait, you probably weren't even born when that came out.

because Tali is all you need

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I agree but only when they still kinda hate eachother. hnnnnnnng
Well you are wrong. Idk why did you assume that? I see no connection between cute 3.14 blueberry and meh Rey

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Same. Real talk, I thought it was inappropriate timing during the mission and I barely talked to anybody about romance even though the game tried to steer it in that direction.
>say one nice thing to Ashley and talk about her coward grandfather/poetry
>omg he loves me
>ask Liara how she’s doing after Therum/how she’s dealing with her mother’s death
>omg I’m going to have a human husband and have blue babbies w/him
step off, I’m paper maching a ship for Tali to bring back to the Flotilla.

Both are Mary Sue's.

I choose with my dick not how immune to the story and choices they are

Ebin

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>Tali's waifu cult peaked and petered out before SFM porn took off full force
Imagine if a polished Mass Effect 1 was released in like 2014. Imagine the fucking mountains of animated Tali porn.

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Futa fags would ruin it even more

Just wait for EA to release ME Remastered collection for next gen to get people interested in ME again, the porn will flow then.

I wish for a drawing of Shepard excitedly driving the Mako like a madman with all of his squadmates clinging for dear life.

>tfw not even into sounding but that one where futa Tali gets her dick fucked down the urethra by a tentacle makes me diamonds every time

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I can’t wait.

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>tfw no broShep version

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I agree, Mass Effect is shit, boring and very generic. Why zoomers keep pretending it's good I'll never know.

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>Out of the suit
Gay.

>Zoomers
It's zoomers who hate that shit lad, too slow for their brains.

>doesn’t want to feel their lover’s skin on his
You calling Tali gay?

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>too slow for their brains
Is this a joke? This shit game barely registers as an rpg. Fuck off zoomer retard.

Barely registering is one thing but it's still a real slow game with lots of talking and choices, far too slow for modern children and apparently autists like yourself.

I really love her face here

>defending movie "games"
Yikes.
Mass Effect babbies must have autism to not fall over from boredom watching a video game.

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No, I want to tease Tali through the suit. Push the fabric covering her puckered starfish deep inside with a cheeky finger.

Put your seatbelts on retards.

No seatbelts. It's the future

Mass Effect fields removed the need for those

The first game is good, at least. The succeeding became gears of War

1. Miranda = Ashley
2. Liara
3. EDI
4.Aria
5.Samara
6.Tali

Oops forgot jack
8. Jack

he's alive i say! ALIVEEE!!!!!

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I am absolutely retarded today, should probably just kys myself lads
7. Jack

>1. Miranda = Ashley

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Is ME3 worth a pirate?
Or should I just finish the first game now that I've finished the second?

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Worst bait so far. Try a lil bit harder next time.

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You should have started with the first and never bothered with the rest. I would tell you to play Andromeda since the gameplay is good, but the A.I is garbage and there is no challenge, so what's the point.

So skip 3?

You already played 2, if you're going to play the first one you might as well see how the clusterfuck ends. So play 1 then 3.

And don't use too much critical thinking when analyzing the plot, because then it'll make you want to shoot up Bioware and EA headquarters.

>tfw pirating ME3 in 2018 and seed for 3 seconds without VPN and my ISP sends a threatening email telling me to stop or else
>tfw I also payed $60 Andromeda at launch
Im a fucking retard

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>>tfw I also payed $60 Andromeda at launch
You deserve this fate

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I think Peebee would look slightly tolerable if not for that fucking black stripe across her eyes.

correct

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this is for (You)

Why the fuck did you play the second before the first

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virgin Cerberus cheerleader vs chad psychotic biotic

fuck you

Playing through it right now for the first time in a decade and it has aged extremely well. It's still much better than any WRPG I've played since Witcher 3

It's really sad that KOTOR and Mass Effect are literally the only space opera RPGs.

fuck you leather man

But I didn't romance anyone in 1.

So this series is known for a variety of choices right? Is it like Alpha Protocol where I can go full psycho or do I have to be a hero all the time?

why? it's literally the biggest appeal of the game

But user I didn't romance anyone in ME1 because Kaidan is an insufferable faggot, Ashley is a retarded racist christcuck, and Liara is a mary sue.
It was only until ME2 that I could romance Garrus, the patrician's choice.

1's romance options suck

Even as a renegade you’re still a hero. You’re just more prone to being an insensitive asshole/funnier.

Would you recommend renegade on first playthrough? Sounds fun.

>femShep

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If you want. Some of the more plot heavy renegade choices are just retarded and they rob you of great characters and plots in the other games. Accusing a sales clerk of discriminating against the poor in order to get a 10% discount is never not funny though.

At the end of the day you're still the savior of the galaxy but you can do some genuinely awful shit to still achieve that.

>chad psychotic biotic
How was prison?

HEY
EVERYONE

>Shepard, I've noticed that a subset of your species, despite being 13% of the human population, commits 50% of all the crimes. I would gladly introduce a genophage to stem the spread of these brutes among such a noble race with a seat on the council

Did you go with the Paragon option or the Renegade option?

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Hmm, better not use that one

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I'd recommend doing both, and finding a cheat/exploit where you can choose whatever you want regardless of your previous choices. I find it retarded to be shoehorned into a merciless cliche psychopathic villain, or a goody two shoes who helps out everyone. Best to play it somewhere in between, I think Sheppard who's both an asshole but a decent person deep down is the best way to experience the game.

THIS STORE DISCRIMINATES AGAINST THE POOR

Paragon option ? Never heard of that

Kelly Chambers is CUTE CUTE CUTE

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Paragon option of course. Loved how Sheppard just patted him on the back and said "go for it". Love the bro chemistry between the two of them.

This. I always play balanced Shep. In one hand he can be real human bean and on the other he can stomp your shit if situation requires it

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Samara is the worst, self righteous boring twat

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1 and 2 gave you a lot of flexibility to be a smack-talking jack-ass in your dialogue options while still being able to be a good guy for decisions. Among many other things wrong with 3, everything was consolidated into black and white complete villian-like asshole or infallible hero

Exactly, and that makes him feel more complex and, well, like a real person. He has his own shit to deal with, so if the situation requires it, he can go either way, based on the situation at hand. Going full Paragon or full Renegade feels so damn cartoony and one dimensional

>a 10% discount is never not funny though.

And the store is one of the useless souvenir stores.

Also making Conrad Verner cry like an infant in ME1 by pointing a gun in his face is great as well. Renegade Shep is the best way to play the game

>eyebrows on an asari
Yikes!

Except Miranda is the stronger biotic than Jack, same goes for Samara. Having her on the team makes no sense. Why would she join Cerberus when they were the ones that tortured her and used her when she was a kid.

SFW

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So after getting the reaper IFF in 2, I can complete 2 missions before the Normandy crew gets abducted and the final and most important time limit in the game starts right? Because what I'm planning on doing is saving Tali and Legion loyalty for the very last, because there's tons of extra dialogue from bringing Legion to the flotilla.

>Ashley is a retarded racist christcuck
No she isn't.

Post more of this deliciousness.

>racist
oh you mean she was normal. literally nothing wrong with being distrustful of someone who is of a different species than you. It's how our brains function, if someone's isn't a part of the tribe, you cannot be sure if they're the enemy, it's just our wiring and no amount of intellectualizing can change that. We still function in a tribal way. Now, being violent against someone who isn't a part of your tribe is one thing, but caring about your own first and foremost is only natural and completely normal.

Pleb: Romancing Tali
Patrician: Being wingman to Garrus and setting him up with Tali

Not to mention the fact that the council literally do not trust humans, they state that they have to prove themselves or else they'd thrown on the wayside or used. All she said was to be (humanity) on their guards instead of relying on the other races. Plus, she had family that died when the relay was activated and the humans fought that war with the Turians.

>So after getting the reaper IFF in 2, I can complete 2 missions before the Normandy crew gets abducted and the final and most important time limit in the game starts right?
Two LOYALTY missions. Otherwise it starts immediately.

>Samara is the worst, self righteous boring twat
Also the hottest and plays the hardest to get, so best girl
Majikura pls leave

Well I was going to do all the DLC shit before getting the IFF anyway.
Also sidenote but godDAMN the pricing of the DLCs is fucking egregious.

>You failed to properly ask me for consent Shepard so now' I'm forced by my code to end your life

Nah I don't think so

>kys underage faggot
found the underage faggot

>everyone is racist towards humans
>but somehow a human being racist back is considered bad
sounds a lot like some people in the world today

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>It applies to both
No it doesn't you faggot
ME women are disgusting

>tfw you will never hear more of Zaeed voice

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>Shepard.
Doing research on the Human race.
Breakthrough discovery.
Melanin-saturated varient of your race is entirely different species.
Coined it Homo Niggeris.

You're right she's just retarded

Because?

That doesn't happen.

okay so she finds out about the 300000 Batarians you killed and kills you for that

>Batarians
Code doesn't care about them

She's not racist. She's humanity-first, because if everybody else is looking out for number one, why aren't humans too? She even talks shit about Terra Firma, who are supposed to be a human-supremacist party.

Just like everyone else. Fuck them

people need to make up some "excuse" as to why it's so easy and okay to sacrifice her on virmire

I left her because she was bitchy and biotics are king, that's really all there was to it.

It just had to be Kaidan. They did him dirty in me3. You either die as a hero or live long enough to see Bioware turn you gay

ME1 was pretty good, faggot. The only people who don't like it are "video games are about combat" fags.

The Code would actually be in favour of that decision. Remember, Samara's code forced her to kill an entire village that worshiped Morinth, just because they tried to slow her down. Obliterating a few hundred thousand to save a galaxy? Just a drop in the ocean.

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make way for this fine example of peak physical form hermanos.

repear shits won't know what hit 'em

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What's this guy's name again? It's Ace Hardware right?

What if my dog is as big as the bear and we beat the shit out of it, together?

Roid Rodriguez

Nappa Knowhow I think

Was she wrong?

No. She was not.

She's also a xeno roastie

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if they need help why not say "Yo Dark Energy and shit about to blow up. help us ASAP or else"

but instead Sovereign goes down the "my reasons are unfathomable for a lesser being like you. move to the sides shits and become husks"

Sovereign was the only beta Reaper. He wasn't cool enough to go to dark space with rest of his species. He was left alone with chore task. Then he fucked up and wanted to repair his image so he played like he has big dick.

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Aerie/Jaheira/Viconia you mean?