ITT: Describe a game as poorly as possible and others try to guess what it is

ITT: Describe a game as poorly as possible and others try to guess what it is.
>An old man goes out to buy some paint and has to fight Satan

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also pic unrelated

>You take a step outside of your house and the entire fucking world loses it's shit

Earthbound?

>fall off a truck
>kill a bunch of old people

It's Saint's Row IV, but first person and more faux-80's

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I've got two
>Punch Dudes
>Punch Demons
>Punch Stronger Demons
>Punch SATAN

>You're Jesus in an airplane and some kid's writing you a letter.

Blood Dragon?

Yep.

Prey?

Darksiders?

>you and your mom’s ex boyfriend fight over some mountains

>man who's literally too angry to die saves his daughter by punching God.

Asura's Wrath. OP said to describe a game badly, doofus.

god hand and ace combat

you get in the box

Metal Gear?

Stalker?

humanity's final act was to create their most ambitious captcha yet

yes

>You didn't sign up for this shit... IN SPACE

You got it.

Man didn't want any of it

The problem with stomach parasites and other countries

>Pooping is a bought skill
>A very expensive bought skill

What’s the point of it all, when you’re building a wall
And in front of your eyes it disappears?

NieR Automotives?

Toilet engineer vs zombies

>sometimes, it just doesn't work.

Talos Principle

You was a cat all along.

Your girl friend is a bomb

Complex motives.

>terrorists weirdos steal your girlfriend and leaves you crippled
>you never asked for any of this

DARPA researcher shoots robots in a space station while smoking enough to cause an ash winter.

Dead Space

Ehh, I see why you thought that, but not quite. My description fits my game a lot better than that

dudesex hr

Ghost Trick
Ground Zeroes
Zero Time Dilemma

now we're talkin'

vaaanquish

ztd?

>ground zeroes

Nah think xbox live arcade times.

you can't let this guy make america great again, he's three years too early

>kill dragon
>kill god
>kill yourself

Mr Explosion/Ms Explosion

"level" is the most bullshit word in existence

Ah, Braid then

hahahaha braid.

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You fight along side the daughter of an eldritch horror collecting its body parts till you got to fight the big bad himself. Excellent waifus.

Dragon's Dogma

Postal?

basedboy travels the land slaying monsters to save his girlfriend that got fucked by a monster

Puzzle game designer gets a a job as an architect in a small american city

The end of game plot twist is not describing a game badly for anyone who has played it
a better one for ghost trick would be "Puzzle game with amazingly over the top animations"

Ookami?

You're not stuck on Mars with demons, instead it's the demons that are stuck on Mars with you.

you have to save your childhood friend so she can grow up and make your life hell to make sure you saved her, you never get anything for it

You solve some puzzles and maybe have some feels along the way.

Doom

Dante's Inferno?

Yes.

999?

>A man starts a "video game" thread but it really is a jojo thread?

Favorite part? For me it's 7, glorious mozzarella.

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Life is Strange

>"go kill a buncha dindu nuffins"
>"lmao sike"

that's not describing the game poorly, describing the game poorly is "you're like the ghost of rube goldberg, except you can't read"

Read the thread, we videogames today.

Nope

Your legal assistant keeps getting framed

Choose your crew from the following:The Italian mafia, The Russian Government, NASA, Boston Dynamics, The Catholic Church, Vikings, The Hacker Known as 4 Chan, Samurai, The US Forest Service, A single Handsome guy, and battle for who will be top dog on the endless vastness of the "web".

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.

metal gear rising?

>capitalists wants to turn you and your people into ice cream because their profits are too low

You just wanna impregnate best girl but everyone else wants her dead so you murder everyone else until they have to send the best guy to kill YOU.

Dunno what it is but I want to play it.

bloodborne?

OP said describe games poorly you dipshit

ding ding

>sorry friend, you can't have nice things so I have come here to make you go back to your miserable life

Alien attack from the past, good thing you're there to help you.

FF Tatctics advance

Max Payne 3

>You just wanna impregnate best girl
well definitely not RE2 amiright lmao

>A creepy old man tries putting himself inside various groups of underage kids and minors so he can start a war

damn, jojofaggots really are retarded as fuck

Sorry, no.
HINT: The dindu nuffins actually dindu nuffin, you got coaxed into a snafu

Kingdom Hearts, or one of the half a billion of those games at least.

>army of carrots the game

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The anime was a mistake, the fanbase was much smaller and more tolerable when nobody knew about it.

Haze? Spec ops: The Line?

you like Stylish eSper Shooting Sports

In four threads nobody has gotten this
>sweaty college girl licked and pounded and ridden all night as her three boyfriends watch and shoot off

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Fallout 4

No and no.
EZMODE HINT: really big dindu nuffins

You were sent to rescue the president but you end up losing your job after your overseer goes batshit

you were tricked into chasing little girls because your dad's an asshole

Maybe that means it isn't that good, then.

lolipop chainsaw?

I feel like this could be bioshock but I've never played any.

It really sounds like Bioshock 1

Local cannibal combats government conspiracy by eating people's brains.

Lisa

No, but thematically close

you save the world with the help of the confused guy who was just trying to destroy it two minutes ago, the dude who literally blew you up in front of your friends 10 minutes ago is there cheering you on

Weeb gets a job so he can go murder people

I was thinking bioshock so yeah

No More Heroes

>Robohitler is a false god
> he has four children and they're all tsundere for you.
>everyone wears diapers.

prototype?

Your wife*'s son** frames you.
*not your wife
**not her son

Got it in one.

Yep

Quakedad May Cry if it's S4 then you didnt describe it poorly.

You just got kicked out of the military, start your own business, Crockett is a drug addict that ruins everything, Crockett cucks you then makes a baby an orphan, and you protect Phil Collins from a crazed stalker then attend his concert. Phil Collins was actually in the game and I think it's better than the game it's a prequel of.

I was worried this one would get solved immediately

Vice City Stories

assumed it was niche/forgotten enough that no one would recognize it even if I said the name outright.
I'm pleasantly surprised

Persona 2?

Kid-friendly shooter where your ammo is body fluids

>"describe a video game badly"
>proceeds to describe vice cities so precisely that I could just fucking google it

>you bomb shit with a friend until he thinks bombing is bad and tries to nuke the whole world

if you're doing well call yo mamma in the room and show her how great you are

>kill your dad
>get good ending
>kill man who killed your dad
>get bad ending

is ink a bodily fluid if you can only refill it by swimming in it

Wrong.
hint: you were in a coma and your boyfriend is dead

Tetris?

woomy

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You have to destroy a zeppelin and a pyramid, summon a demon, help jews and kill yourself to shut down a computer

Did you somehow miss the thread up the past few days about it?

yeah, I just copied some song lyrics

>Man loses his hand
>It's his father all along

uggggghhhhh.... wolfenstein?

>green dudes on steroids fighting bunch of fags in armors
>few years later bunch of furries, gay elves, cows and skellies joined the war

Wrong

>qt mom wakes you up for your first day at the new church
>it's very strange and everyone hates you but you end up going two more times
>the second time you go one of your friends gets left behind outside in the rain

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DMC5?

WoW

I come here like maybe twice a week.

ape goes absolutely za warudo on other apes

The whole game takes place in a giant science experiment mindfuck. You still don't know if your partner made it out.

>Your robotic arm is your wife

both right
it refills even standing normal, try it also turn into squid/octo in plaza and look carefully

>you get dehydrated real easy
>so you go visit your neighbour and get an unlimited supply of water
>after a short walk you realise that none of this is real and you spiral in to madness until all that is left is a destroyed world with you sitting atop a throne that doesn't exist

Nu Bionic Commando

bloody ghetto orgasm suprise, muthefuka

but orcs start off red.

nuPrey

mgs2

shadow of colosseum?

some jerk shows up in the middle of Nowhere, brings modern consumerism with him, and destroys your family

Yep

I've no idea but I'm interested in this qt mom.

not him but now that you made that guess fuck I feel stupid

Yeah I knew the song, only reason I got it

Almost! Now try spelling it correctly.

you dress like a clown and eat every 10-15 minutes

>It's blood

Mother 3
"Nowhere" gave it away real quick

Mother 3?

>punch government MIBs and sleazy businessmen to save the orphans

shadow of the kullousessiom

sorry user, she isn't real and even if she was she has a boyfriend now and he's much much taller than you. pic related.

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has zero replay value.
Devs explicitly hate fun.
Indiana jones.

Minecraft

unless you subjugate the local population fast, you're fucked

Bloodborne

try harder, cock vacuum

Colossus.

I was really on the fence about the capitalization, guess I shoulda left it out

your ability to keep up with a moving locomotive is a common roadblock in enjoying an urban life simulator

>mascots punch each other

Okay but post the qt mom.

Uncharted

we don't use the word "fun"

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>you're a naked toddler crying on poop and mental distortions of your mind, all the while collecting collecting mom's underwear and disassembled body parts of your cat, on your quest to escape from your parents and save your sanity

Donkey Kong

based and fun is a buzzword pilled

>pic related but for 700 years
>papa bless
can't without spoiling, but she has short hair and really knows how to get in your head.

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Factorio?

maybe? I never played it so that's not what I was thinking of. my game's a lot kiddier

The Soldier in Eltorro64rus's Lazy Mountain sums up the game's plot

a child and her variety of hats

A zz top roadie gets captured by the KKK Texas chainsaw style

Binding of Isaac. Try harder

You're in a loveless marriage with a ghost

Binding of Isaac

Smash Bros

hat in time

A hat in Time?

>early access

definitely wasn't expecting that

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you finish off bunch of sweaty muscular dudes and there's body fluids everywhere. sometimes girls too.

yep

It's a pretty much a hat simulator these days

you get possesed by an old aristocrat that refuses to die.
>his son, an amnesiac, and a slutty nun join forces to take you down

An eldritch horror reborn in the body of a lobotomized kid fights nature.

That was an easy one

How about this?
>a man with PTSD and his friend with Alzheimer's bring about armageddon by trying to avoid it
>learning the tale empowers you to try and stop it yourself

everyone's shooting each other or themselves around the world, everyone knows who they are but not why they're fighting, not even the devs. play nice or else :D

You're a dude with a TV for a head

>cute but annoying shortstack demands piggyback rides across the fields at odd hours of the morning/evening
>you miss having thumbs
>at least she rubs your belly though

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>morning/evening
nice.

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You drug yourself a fuckton to kill a guy who attacked your friends, then you turn on your friends only to either realise how much of a retard you are and kill yourself or actually genocide them all like the absolute madman you aim to be

You use a controller or keyboard and mouse to control a character and complete objectives

that sounds barely like virtue's last reward, not enough to convince me that's what it is, but enough that I can't think of anything else. fuck

>Game forces you to sing like the filthy weeb you are.
>you love it.

Guy wants to samefag the universe to death

you're not the main character, you just serve drinks

This is so generic that I doubt anyone will get it.
>a knight enters a tower to rescue a princess

Psychonauts

Not quite
HINT: It was available on the same system as VLR originally

call of duty modern warfare 2?

Furi?

Cringe simulator II.2+009 final mix directors cut.

Tavern simulator?

No sorry it was Black Ops

Tower of Druaga

if it's a vita game I definitely won't know it
who am I kidding the vita didn't have games

I don't think that's a game

You got it.

The world ends, you try to survive and end up killing your friends and going on a quest to punch God.

You fall out of the sky and now you're mayor

Saints Row 4?

>despite being the strongest guy in the city you can't stop fucking up
>you can ask bruce campbell for help but he just makes fun of you

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Good guess but not the one I thought of.

FFXIII Lightning Returns

Local monarch hogs fiefs like nobody

Emo boy kills himself to save the world.

was bruce campbell in other games besides the two spider man games? I suddenly need to know

he makes fun of spidey in the second game but specifically leaves the tutorial for a sandwich in the first

Rune Factory 4

Shadow of the colossus

Featuring Raidou from the Raidou vs The Soulless Army and King Abaddon games.

SMT nocturne.
punching god gave it away

>

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Change the first line to "no replay value" to make it a proper haiku

persona 3

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A selfless man sacrifices everything to save his daughter and saves humanity in the process

A selfish child sacrifices everything to save his sister and dooms humanity in the process.

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I don't think so. Spiderman 1/2 was correct. I'm glad someone else appreciates the ham sandwich bit.

noted

Nocturne

oh no you're trapped on death-cult mountain, good thing you have your camera

>You destroy a cult because you caused an earthquake

> A bold doctor captured animals, and you have to save 'em

Also, Joseph best JoJo

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Crusader Kings

you wake up to find out your boyfriend has been posessed and he rules the world with his 4 gay children and they all hate you.

night in the woods?

Outlast 2?

bump

Literally any Yakuza game?

Nier

A spin on this one
>You enter a bunch of towers to pick up lunch for your princess

WACK HIM

Sonic 1?

Pandora's Tower

>you are now the guardian of little girls
>prepare to drill drug addicts

>"if you kill him, you'll become just like him" but you have to become just like him to kill him
>god still loves you in the end though because you saved his favorite rock

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BioShaq 2

Grand Theft Auto: The Anime - The Prequel

ya got it

Far cry 3?

Yep.
Here’s a slightly tougher one.

You help or fight Not Hatsune Miku in maintaining an assisted suicide program for the depressed and mentally unstable.

Yep !

ugggghhhh... gunvolt?

>World famous government agent tracks down an aryan police officer and tries to make him fuck his sister

Autistic robo-human scientist goes nuclear

nah, more weeby

Half Life

LEOOOOOOOOOOOON

fatal frame?

You and your sidekick walk around Africa shooting black people.

OP said badly

Far cry 2

Nope.
Hint: It’s setting is in an animu idolshit version of the matrix

RE5

now we're talking

Soul Sacrifice had such a fucking underrated story. I absolutely loved the narration.

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>red haired guy fights red haired guy and red haired guy's mentor

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you have amnesia
you kill your brother
his only mistake was trying to make you smile again

l4d

both correct

oh for fuck's sake that's probably correct isn't it

Tales of the Abyss

I haven't played it yet but I'm gonna say .hack

Ac with shay

finally we have a winner

Not quite. Hint: it's a 2D game regarded as one of the worst in its series

You fall into a planet with a bunch a creatures and have to kill them with the trash you find on your way

correct

Good one

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I think no one answered because it was too easy especially now with chocolate helicopter?

katamari

Local spelunker has an identity crisis and must make a choice between betraying himself for himself, betraying himself for himself and then getting betrayed by himself, or betraying himself AND himself. He tries so hard and comes so far and in the end it doesn't even matter because it turns out finding inner peace or whatever the fuck is boring unless you like spire parkour

you kill evil spirits to preserve peace

>dot hack
>Idolshit

BIG NO

But I can understand why you’d think that.

Hint 2:It made the rounds on Yea Forums for a while for being a very obvious ripoff of Persona in the stylistic department. The remake didn’t help matters since in the new villain route the main character’s appearance is directly fucking lifted from the MC and one of the party members.

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Pokemon Red and Blue

>After accidentally killing the former president (but not really), you get thrown in a penal military unit but you turn out to be so good they promote you

Caligula effect?

>A videogame dedicated to the emu wars. The emu general is arrested and taken to prison

Furry simulator:feel trip edition

>terrorist father was dead all along

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ss13

you save the world and your fiancée while resisting the urge to take the worlds largest fucking dump

You have the power to annihilate humanity at will but instead you help people so retarded that you wonder how have they managed to stay alive until now

overwatch

pikmin

ssx tricky

sonic adventure 2

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did not mean to reply

There ya go.

Memes aside it’s actually not bad for the clearly low budget they had. Writing is damn good and the combat system’s pretty fun too. Shame it’s visually dogshit.

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Gates to Infinity

PUTO

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I have no mouth and I must scream.

Ya got it. I still go back over some of the world building they put into it now and again.

Here's another:
>world is full of idiots that think 10 story tall bipedal amphibians are the same as humans

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Never played it, I know it's from the same guy that wrote P1 abd P2 which are supposed to have one of the best vidya stories ever which got me curious, but I never played it.
Only thing I knew was that you are in some matrix where everyone is still in Highschool, because that is the peak of ones life, but that is as far as I know.
Should I pirate the vita version or should I just take the dive and buy overdose?

Bump.
come on it's easy.

>Her voice was never stolen in the first place
>you are shipwrecked and then wake up
>you're cursed, but also supposedly the king
>you fall down a hole and befriend vegetable people

Ace Combat 7

You click the circles

Talos Principle?

The music is top tier
especially the new character songs

Overdose
you can mix party members with the Musicians in a new game mode
havent reached it yet though

osu

what ?? no

yep

You got that right.
>The world is ending, but you don't let that stop you from having fun by screwing with people and just being a smartass in general

Yeah that's it, I figured that one would be too easy.

>bloodborne

Nah. Was a dreamcast/ps2 title. Too bad bad the ps2 version was inferior .

Your father isn't actually the villain, the villain just disguised as your father for no reason.
Also your father actually didn't win the war 10000 years ago.

Get overdose for the villain route and bug fixes.
That way you can go full CRAAAAWWWLINGGG IIINNN MY SKIIIINNNN.

There’s over 500 students, all of whom can join your party and all of whom have their own little backstories, traumas, and secrets. Each also gets their own miniquest though some of the quests are repeats of each-other.

If you can get over the fact that it looks like it was made using prebought japanese assets then you should have fun.

Bear makes people kill each other

A boomer roams the world in order to find a teenage girl, and fucks anything with a hole in the process

Danganronpa
Also,
>badly

Danganshitgames

>worst game in the series
>also has best dungeon in the series
>motion controls

A kid goes to the movies , sees a dinosaur, then gets a new toaster.

>it looks like it was made using prebought japanese assets
really nails the contents posed on Nico Nico Douga aesthetic

Uuuuh, Skyward Sword?

Did you mean Ancient Cistern or Sand Ship?

None of the experiences you the player experienced with the series were never real. It was all a work of fiction.

Oh, and I forgot to add.
Be advised there is a save corrupting glitch that they haven’t patched out yet though it’s fairly specific circumstances which you probably won’t come by until later in the game unless you’re playing on easy. Regardless make multiple saves just in case because it only corrupts one slot.

yes.

A german man has an aneurysm and constantly bangs the desk.

I'm surprised no one can guess this.
Your wife*'s son* frames you for making a mess
*not your wife
*not her son

You become a chad for a day against your will and have to repel all the thots jumping on your dick

Sandship. most fun I had solving puzzles in a zelda game. also great aesthetic.

DongeRonPaul Vuck you 3 electric bongaloo

Gal gun?

GAL GUN 3 WHEN

Far cry 4

Honestly great implementation of the central mechanic.
Almost makes you forget how linear it is.

Test

Degrees Of Lewdity?

Metal gear 5.

test 2

Three idiots lead the Communist Revolution because a middle-aged woman had daddy issues

A schizophrenic undead experiences Schrodinger's Cat.

Oh shit what?
spoil me

test 3: star dust crusaders

Turns out, game was rigged from the start

you save the world by slapping the villain with your degenerate pedo shlong in the face

A woman scams some loser into paying her to allow him to kill a bunch of crazy people who think they are better than him.

>Man eats flower
>Goes apeshit

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Literally the opposite in every aspect.

Maybe somewhere out there even a devil may cry 3: special edition

No More Heroes

Sad loser is cucked by female coworker
Said loser genetically alters another coworker to be a clone of her
Attempts to destroy the world when found out

Squirrel fucks up

School basement, if you kill Nightmare and avoid any battles going to the save point the game will crash mid-save and corrupt it. If you attempt to teleport it will still crash but your save will be fine.

It’s pretty tough to avoid mooks in that area so the chances of triggering it are low unless you’re high enough level to take the mooks out on the way in, beat nightmare, and get back before they respawn.

Yes I found this out the hard way.

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Secret of Evermore?

You cannot stop the rape train.
You cannot prevent the rape train.
You can only hope to stave it off.

The main character of super smash bros

Man suffering from massive head trauma helps resolve a zoning dispute over a wall.

Glover

Bingo! you won the toaster.

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Super Mario Bros

Man walks his dog and ends up marrying it

legit a more appropriate answer then what I had in mind.
A+

>Cuts global warming in half

New Vegas?

Thanks bruv
here have a Kuchinashi as a token of gratitude

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Dusk

Rummage around a church's basement

You're on a tv show because fuck you we ran out of ideas

Pretty sure this one's Critical Depth

Space furries

local god mistakes you for royalty, but then real royalty shows up but he's a bro so he let's you keep playing pretend

>Oirishman in Baguetteland blows everything up

...

Is his fly down?

Mishun compree

Red vs Blue but in space.

It has to be one of the Megaman X games isn't it.

Exactly right

Rune Factory 4

Saboteur. Pretty much everyone in this thread that I managed to guess seems to think that if they describe an obscure enough game well, it's as if they described a well-known game poorly. Unfortunately for you, we're on Yea Forums and I'm a nerd.

Hallway, the game

Satan steals your soul so you go around the fucking world murdering every demon you can find and helping every single person with their most menial tasks until you get your soul back but literally nothing changes.
hint: it's an mmo

FFXIII

Breath of the wild ?

Just a reminder that you should replay it friendo

you goto school and then leave school

The game I had in mind was bioschlock 3 but your choice works too

Man tries to find his son while finding paper animals along the way

Understandable, have a nice day.

Heavy rain

Assemble a quartet to give the middle finger to a singer who once graced your village.

Deus ex human revolution

Ace combat 0.

Time traveling nigger accident kills himself but saves the world

>Maneating giraffes,giant crabs, and Prayer Day on Sundays

Sandraker scum

you fly spaceships that cost gorillons and everyone think's it's dead and too late to play it

Red vs blue, but has nothing to do with halo

You win
have a paper origami

Kenshi

tf2

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Eve online

Super Mario

Elite Dangerous?

Thank you!

Not what I had in mind? Any other thoughts

Yakuza?

Pokemon red/blue?

Super mario bros.

ye

If you wanna start playing, join Allout wormhole corp. Takes away most of the shitty aspects of the game, like feeling insignificant and not having money without investing a retarded time or swiping ur credit card.Lots of old players that teach you all the stuff too.

Run around pwning shit with your maglite

You wake up only to ruin everything and cause a civil war.

Alan Wake?

Haha, no! I should have been more specific I guess

Utawarerumono?

Yessir

Caligula effect.

I actually meant Half-Life 2.

>The world is fucked beyond belief and there's nothing you can do to fix it
>Also boobies on loading screen

Yes

Cops appear how they are in real life and you treat them like they deserve

Incest simulator.

Faggy inappropriate dances

Its funny You can go full m’lady at the end.

I'm not quite sure what you're going for here, but I'm gonna say Duke Nukem 3D because fuck it.

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GTAV?

Village boy gets his home destroyed and is only alive because of a divine entity

medieval grant strategy.
I think it's called Crusader Kings?

Princess Maker?

You are correct, any duke nukem game really

Nice guess but no

Bingo.

a sequel would be great
despite the story pretty much concluded

Resident evil.

Tf2

you help prepare a headstrong young monarch for their upcoming wedding, helping to mend a brotherly dispute and helping two young ladies fulfil their dreams along the way

Annelid fights a queen

You woke up from an adventure only to find out you are captured

not even trying

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Since nobody else is guessing I'll say i was thinking of Myst

yakuza

Was it that easy?

Unusually large procedurally generated fantasy Doom

You just HAD to open that box, didn't you.

Nah never played it, less drama

Bunch of gamer kids try using demons to stop the end of the world

"You really thought the sequel would have the same villain as the first game? You FUCKING idiot, it was me all along!" - villain

You wear sunglasses inside but its ok because you vision is really good

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You're a quiet boy with a girlfriend that doesn't really like humans.

Desu Ex

Saya no Uta?

Literally me

Based

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No

You accidentally touch someone's ball and get superpowers

Ar Tonelico 2

Some sort of Dragon ball game?

You kill a different god every week for a leather armband.

An amnesiac must stop the world from committing suicide due to emotional instability, but only after going to school.

No

A creepy old family grooms a cripple into suicide.

Nope

BURN MY BREAD 3

People can get killed by FACTS and LOGIC

Angry child goes on a rampage because he couldn't have a good night's sleep

hah atta toryah

Comfy adventure through an alien world in order to track down the bastard that killed your parents and his subordinates

a priest and his friends daughter save the world from a scientist with a oval shaped head

Earthbound

Dragon Age Inquisition?

Stubbs the Zombie

Metal Gear?!

Super Mystery Dungeon

Mega Man Zero

Yup

DEADWEIGHT

vtmb
smt?

No man's sky 2.0

Scam citizen?

Mondo Medicals?

You're a young adult noble but you're actually not and you're only ~10 years old

Ace Attorney?

You are a legendary badass among your former peers, but you get jumped by thugs on a daily basis.
Also the bigbad drags you into his bullshit, even though the better choice would be to not get you involved.

You kill yourself to save your brother from a bunch of talking heads

Fortnite

Giygas attacks from the future you fucking idiot.

Nope, try again

Yakuza

Indeed.

just your regular old hobbyist working a normal job. maybe you beat a couple thousand people's faces into the ground?

a bit easy, but you got it

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The Witcher 3

sober up kyodai

Super Mario Sunshine!

Post more hints, user

Conker's Bad Fur Day?

Diablo?

I remember one cousin described me ninja gayden for nes as a cross of megaman, castlevania and contra.

Skyrim

Been spending most our lives, living in a /k/-ster's paradise,
Keep spending most our lives, living in a /k/-ster's paradise

Come on fags this one is easy

Bravely Default?

Delivering your Valentine's day gift at the dead of night turned out to be your worst idea yet.

Whew spoke too soon m8, Nice one!

>power of friendship, trading cards and black holes

Only thing that comes to mind is TBoI:AB+ which that's totally not fucking it.

Earthworm Jim

Space Jam

Megaman Zero?

He got it ->

No.
Because this cunt guessed it. Cheers.

Fucking Tokyo Mirage Sessions. You guys suck at this.

Yes

a clown fucking kills your grandpa with an orbital strike

D-did you even play the game, user?
Buzz Buzz and Starman Jr came from the future but Giygas resided in the Cave of the Past

Devil Survivor

Gates to Infinity

Shadow Hearts?

Tales of the Abyss

You become catatonic because some cool old dudes having adventures inside of your head

Nope.