Write what's on your mind

I don't think there's an environment where I could thrive.

jokes on you I can't read

I wish i'd have some sort of mental illness which would induce creativity. Instead i've gotten existential fear wrapped in apathy paper along with anxiety mint.

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Indifference is the best thing in the whole world.

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your mom?

I am on occasion genuinely impressed by the variety of people on this site. Even just seeing bits and pieces of madness or stupidity from other boards feels like a wonderfully elucidating experience. Still, I can't help but love you all the same.

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I just finished A Memoir of the Warsaw Uprising by Miron Bialoszewski and I didn't like it very much and tomorrow I will start The Rings of Saturn by W.G. Sebald and I hope I will like it a little more than I like Austerlitz.

I need to be productive and I've been doing pretty well lately, but I'm on the verge of falling back into shitposting, vidya, and overall lethargy.

I assume you’re an American. Have you heard about medical tourism?

Same here bro

I am and I have. It seem rather scummy. I'm not really in a position where I can be prideful. Right now I'm waiting to see if I can be put on my states Medicaid or Medicare. I don't know which one it is. I'm not even sure if will cover it. Or if I'll be accepted it's a 45 day wait.

n-no...

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, I HATE NIGGERS SO GODDAMN MUCH.

SERIOUSLY, FUCK NIGGERS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Stay strong.

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I'm far along the course to having a nervous breakdown in the next couple of days

Skele-ton, skele-ton, illuminate my day
Skele-ton, skele-ton, i dont know what to say

I wish I was born 100 years ago before Visual Art was taken over by post-modern theatrics and before it became overly obsessed with the “meta.” There’s a place for it sure but so much of it is lazy and poorly thought out. The craft and actual skill of making compelling visual art has been abandoned and representational stuff is rarely accepted these unless it’s viewed behind layers of irony like Lichtenstein or Takeshi Murakami cum sculptures.

The relationship of skeletons and light...
What is it that should allow a skeleton to be seen by day..... shouldn't such an ugly thing be buried under the earth...

Stoicism encourages deadening your senses. This is not the way.
Becoming needlessly agitated is also not the way.

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Stoicism encourages you to nurture your positive emotions. Please read more before making reductive statements like this.

If a boar is a male Armadillo, then what's a Boer?

Stoicism and Epicureanism are the same thing in practice, they just have different metaphysics.

At this point, I just want to die, I feel like living is simply a chore, there is no great reward for me.
I have fun writing stories, but I suck at writing and properly explaining myself. It is still fun writing for myself.

Wrong
WRONG
Even more wrong

You people are fucking retarded

WRONG
ur dumb and gay (in the very worst way)

That Pic is so wrong.
Waifuism is all about narcissism. It is true that people love a projection of a person instead of a real person, but what happens when you take away the person an leave only *your* projection? *your* fantasies?
Romantic love is a buffer against the anxiety caused by the fear of death. It is making an idol out of a person, an idol to please and be pleased by. It all comes apart when it becomes apparent that we are not God's, we are imperfect human beings.
Wiafufags are narcissistic and conceited: they crave an idealized form of love that is impossible in real life. They don't want to be loved, they want to be worshiped and they want to mindlessly worship something they can blindly put their trust on.
There is nothing pure about 2D "love", in case it wasn't obvious it is nothing more than a pathetic masturbatory charade.

You ought to educate yourself about logarithms.

I wrote an heartfelt dm on twitter to Mira and I'm just wishing she will read it.

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OH FUCK

Watching at my freezing hands, i can just find geometry in this soul-empty world we live in

Infatuation with the feminine slows my mind; I actually found that an healthy dose of masturbation helps to clear it, or at least this is my anecdotal experience.

i actually feel ok, Yea Forums. shits fucked, but it doesnt matter. i wanna live wild.

>shits fucked
Stop talking like a numale

None of you have real problems.

I'm writing a fantasy romance novel about a young knight and a tsundere warrior princess. I'm deeply sexually repressed after years of abuse by my father so the affection is limited to kissing/cuddling/blushing/hand holding

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Western Collapse.

Will it actually happen? Will technology, globalism, etc. prevent it from happening? What will it look like?

I have crippling diarrhea, is that real enough?

Oh great arbiter of "real" problems, I thank you!

Oh wow. Pepto doesn't exist.
Literally all of you are just 20 something's complaining about feelings.

Let's talk about something pleasant then. How are you user?

I'm okay. Everyone in this thread needs a reality check.

No. If the west collapses, the world collapses, because the economy is densely interconnected and interdependent. Fear of the collapse of the west is silly fear mongering.
Besides, "the West" is just a social construct, and abstraction that doesn't designate a stable real world entity.

Considering what :"the West", meaning Eurocentric culture has survived, black plague, economic depression, revolutions and civil wars, two world wars, it seems unlikely that what's to come will bring it down.

Immigration from highly culturally divergent groups won't erase European identity, because it has already been replaced by consumerist uniformity.

So we're all just fucked ?

What are you doing today/tonight? What are you reading?

SAD TO SAY I GOT SOLD DOWN THE RIVER
STILL SOME QUIVER WHEN I DELIVER

I'm reading Oblomov a friend recommended it to me. He said he thought it would help me start writing again. I stayed inside today it's been raining nonstop. I might make dinner.
How are you? What are you reading?

>Think long and hard about a possible story.
>Figure it out and start to write.
>Get really detailed and craft my prose with delicacy.
>Get interrupted by sudden visitor or get a long winded telephone call from family.
>Lose my train of thought
>Flair is gone
>I can't write for fucking shit now
Why do you motherfuckers keep doing this to me?

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I'm reading 'turn of the screw' by Henry James. Pretty good if you like ghost-stories, I guess. I love the rain, it's really comfy and tranquil. What are you going to have for dinner, user?

What do you like to write about?

Of course you are, don't be silly. You just do not know when. Might be next hour, next week, next year, next century...

Rain ruins my dog's food. I might have a hamburger. The last thing I wrote was generic fantasy. I'm not good at it. I'm rather uncreative.
It's okay it's a hobby.

Engulf your dick with my ass cheeks

Actually, that would mean that you're fucking my ass. Mods, delete that

what makes Yea Forums unbearable is also the only reason it has anyone of merit.

You feed your dog outside? What kind of hamburger, are you going to get it from somewhere or make it yourself?

And it's not stupid if you enjoy writing it. It doesn't really need to be for anybody but yourself.

the goo inside my head it's
all scraaambled up

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I keep the dog outside. He was my grandfather's. I'm allergic, but getting rid of him seems wrong. I'll probably make the hamburger with cream cheese and jalapeno.

>Immigration from highly culturally divergent groups won't erase European identity, because it has already been replaced by consumerist uniformity.
Blackpill

Indifference is not the best thing in the world.
Can you agree to that?

what's on your mind

I'm sorry to hear that user. Still, it's wonderful that you're doing your best to take care of him, I'm sure that he appreciates it in some way. I don't like jalapenos, but I hope that you enjoy your dinner anyway.

If the Hindu concept of Lila is true (and my understanding of it), and in one way or another we will all be saved, why does this cosmic dance have to be so full of existential dread and mundanity!!!
To paraphrase Kierkegaard, what are demons and trolls compared to the gray and indifferent faces of everyday life. This hyperennui of doing without doing or knowing why feels like a curse.

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You're on my mind.

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You are honestly the cutest thing ever :3

Pretty much, if you're part of the Anglo/Jewish and Asian elite in the top 10 or so percent you will probably continue to do fine. The middle class will more or less disappear and be replaced by an underclass of lower class whites and mullattoes who have practically no access to social mobility. The masses will become increasingly angry and that's already showing in our politics but they've become too castrated by modern capitalism and consumerism to do take any meaningful action. Nothing more than passive submission against the raging machine, as always.

I want to be good.

There's nothing better in the world than being hugged or cuddled. It's so lovely and warm to feel somebody's weight against you. I really miss it. It's the ultimate expression of love.

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Incorrect. Stoicism is about enjoying current pleasures without becoming overly attached to them and not being overly troubled by pains.

at least you've had it and could potentially have it again. i'm doomed though. it's over.

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Sometimes I wonder whether these two are in fact not one and the same schizophrenic tranny.

Took one of those OCEAN personality tests and I'm like 95th percentile neurotic

literally just buy a whore
if you want something closer to love, get a mail order bride. If you're white and/or well off there's a million SEAmonkeys pushing each other out of the way for your dick

Either my depression prevents me from doing anything except browse Yea Forums and sleep, or I'm super busy with multiple jobs, moving, family events, etc. It's a feast or a famine and I'd like everything to chill the fuck out
At least the meds help even everything out. The only time I've ever felt happiness was during my first week on meds. Before and after, it's just been grey

I'd give you one if I could.

i'm not allowed to. i could only ever cuddle with a woman if i were truly in love with her and we got married first. unfortunately, i'm too fucked in the head to acquire this. its a catch 22, you see. so the only real option for me is to live towards my death. one day, i'll look forward to my death as much as i looked forward to the loving embrace of a woman. i hope

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>not allowed to
Christfag? You know you guys have loopholes to get around that stuff, right?
Otherwise just wait for VR. It's moving along faster than people realise

Bacon doesn't exist in yesterday land or today even but maybe there's some in the fridge?

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
I TRY SO FUCKING HARD
I GENUINELY SO FUCKING TRY
I WORK, I TOIL, I STUDY AND I TRY
BUT IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK
WHY DOES IT NEVER FUCKING WORK
GOD DAMN IT, I WISH I COULD JUST NEVER HAVE EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

i am a christfag, but i was like this before i became one anyway. i never wanted meaningless sex. i never sought it out, i always thought i was better off fapping because then at least i wasn't using anyone. if i did just say fuck it and started cuddling with some girl, my conscience would be gnawing at me the whole time and i wouldn't even be able to enjoy it anyway.

in other words, it wouldn't be the same cuddling that i idealize in my mind, it would only be a sick perversion of it, which is why i'm doomed to never experience that feeling.

Best of luck finding a nice girl to share these things with, user.

How old?

How do you feel Kinda'fockin'stressed!!!???

Shouldn't your blood be boiling at this temperature?

It would be very painful.

>reading a book
disgusting

yes
but I decided I will keep working on it
either I make it or I die of a heart attack at 25

Mastery isn't honed by inspiration. You think Michaelangelo was in the same state of mind for 5+ years while he was carving David? Obsession fueled discipline

I will read the essays. I will grade them, leave comments that will not be read. I will enter the grades in a new software system that I have not been trained to use. The grades may not update, so I will keep copies of the essays in order to have a record on the chance that the grades online do not go through.

And then I realized I didn't read the essays. I skimmed them, looked for points I told them to include, picked the most egregious of their spelling and grammatical errors to comment on. I set the stack aside and picked one off the top, a low-scoring attempt. I spend ten minutes reading and rereading. The lesson on sentence variety didn't stick. The practice we did with generating and adding clauses and phrases to kernel sentences did not materialize. The annotations and class discussions which lead to actual revelations of the aesthetic values within the text did not appear.

In my first year of teaching I took two sick days and spent them drinking beer in my bathtub. I had always been depressed but it wasn't until I started drinking that I started feeling empty. The experience of reading these essays is similar to that.

preferrably both, now that I think about it

its not going to happen because its impossible. i literally can't do it, that's the whole point im trying to make.

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girl on the right is mine.

I'm doing something and I feel creatively trapped. I have a deadline and can only do basically pre-approved things (with some variation and some it to be fair is self-imposed) and I kind of hate it. It kills my creativity and my motivation and I end up trudging through it without any sort of enjoyment that I'd normally get from the activity when it's on my own terms and schedule. I don't rush things. I do them at my own pace. I usually do not have a deadline. I hate it. Never volunteering for this again.

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I just don't know anymore guys.

big mommy milkers - nice choice. for me its the one with the glass of wine and the nice white socks.

me either, bro

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Every year I respect my parents, and my father in particular, less. I was always told this quote growing up:
>When I was 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
I'm 23 now and I've never loved and respected my father less after seeing who he really is, a coward and a sycophant. I legitimately hate him now

Do you know what you have to do to get out of it?

25... That's next year for me. Incidentally I chilled way the fuck out at 24 years old when I realized I was chasing ghosts

I feel utterly defeated by life. I broke down crowing at my after hours office vacuuming job. Had to take all the mirrors down in my house. Can't stand the look of my own face.

What are you trying to accomplish?

youtube.com/watch?v=GFoT6UUNLZc
is it even physically possible for humanity to create anything beautiful anymore?

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Having a deadline can make you better at what you do. See it as an opportunity. Problem solve your way out of the conundrum you're in, figure it out. At the end of it you'll have improved as a whatever-it-is-you-are.

i can feel this feel.

Holy shit, I hate my body so much

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I keep trying to test the noose, but I always stop with the blurry vision and gagging.

>no friends
Check
>no gf
Check
>no job
Check
>flunking uni
Check
>debt
Check
>no social skills
Check
>no discernible skill or talent
Check
Better luck next time I guess. T-there is a next time right guys?

Goddamnit why am I so fucking dumb and why are people so fucking weird? I cannot find any satisfaction talking about the newest Iphone or how other people want brand name leggings. Is it wrong to absolutely hate the materialistic mentality? I just cannot care to hear about what's the next thing you want to buy. I shallowly understand that materialism isn't right or wrong, but it still pisses me off that people worship money like it's the new God to bring happiness on this world.

You like touhou so that is something you should hold onto.

Trust me. He’s a completely unwanted shadow creeper.

Okay, beg pardon.

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And God so spoke through me:

Cuntcuntcuntcuntcuntnigger

How we weep for one another, though we don't see our own problems ourselves. Where is it? Where is the
ability to communicate how to improve another's life? Obviously it is a struggle, it is a fight, and
the more the battle is waged, the further the person withdraws. How the world could be changed if only we
could listen to one another. How infinite confusion could be cured if only we didn't appraise the speaker
to find the one or ten faults that allow us to ignore the message and prevent us from evolution, revolution.
Authority is dead. It won't come back until I'm dead. Not my body, but my spirit must die so that change may occur, and in the whispers of my weeping, I will still fight, clinging instead to a rotting corpse of individuality and originality, or my years on this earth will have been supremely wasted, for I haven't yet lived, and can most of us disagree? How I weep for the man who says "You are a fool, watch me to see how it is done." His embarassment is already, simply unmanifested by time yet. "I will prove you wrong, let me come up with a plan, you will be humiliated for my benefit and your own." The parent to the child, the child to the parent, rebellion, self will unassisted by wisdom or knowledge. Man is both the most intelligent and least intelligent animal on earth simultaniously. How a rumble in our stomach controls us, toward smoking, toward drinking, toward food, toward danger, away from a better life, away from freedom, away from happiness. "Remove the branch from thine own eye before removing the speck of dust from your neighbor's." A man's curse is that he shall gain knowledge and have no one listen to him speak. He shall behold great miracles and none shall believe. He shall give proof and none shall care. He will save a neighbor's home from fire and be mocked. He will invent the wheel and be despised. He will work hard for his castle and be killed. He will provide insight and be redirected. For every just action lies ten unjust.

BUT IN THE ENNNNNDDDD

Testosterone is poison

started scribbling ideas and thoughts on pad at work. take the pages home. still don't have the energy to even type them up at home. but it's something. coworkers gave me weird looks. luckily my handwriting is an intentional cypher and they can't read it. stupid fucking normalshits. i seriously hope you've invented a coded writing system that's fast, stylish, and private, anons.

also i kill so many audiobooks at work. you niggers have no fucking idea. my job is mindless monkey-work. still, reading 8 hours a day is exhausting regardless of the retard work i'm doing on autopilot. i feel like a phd student. at least 7 solid hours a day of reading, 5 days a week. imagine it. i feel so Yea Forums, kafka would be proud.
>Oblomov
>he thought it would help me start writing again
why is that and how is it?

>complains about normies
>thinks listening to an audio book is reading

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set in the late 19th or early 20th centuryi ever only read 30 odd pages but it struck as rather relatable to the life people like us leadmaybe you'd get something out of it, since you talked about being unable to produce digestable text
That's what he told me. It's okay so far.

i'll chuck it on my backlog. thanks friend.

i feel so intelligent, ambitious, and awake midday when i'm trapped at work. get home and i just want to shower, eat dinner, and shit around online until i go to bed. such suffering.

Brain cells start to fry around 106
you are fine

Looking at some transition timelines has made me the most hopeful I've felt in weeks

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I hope you find peace user, but prioritise your mental wellbeing and the liberation that being yourself will entail, and not what you will look like at the end. Easy way to never be happy.

let me make you less hopeful: today at work I saw someone's Slack avatar (in its normal, tiny dimensions) and could immediately tell that "she" was a tranny

Thank you, I genuinely appreciate it
It's a process

don't do it, you'll just end up murdering yourself.

>It's a process
this tranny didn't even have the tell-tale five o'clock shadow or adam's apple. just triggered the innate sense that I was looking at a man.

I am in a time of gathering, absorption & transition. I have just labored over a poem and completed it with discontent, but that is motivating in itself. I’m going to go out and be more engaged with the contemporary art world so I can better speak to the spirit of our times (or whatever). I will meet interesting people, attend what will likely be overrated galleries, and maybe watch some sort of experimental film that I will wish to recreate but know it’s not my role. I want to take in a lot over these next few months, submerge myself in “muses”, and make something decent, or maybe more than that (for once).

It goes away with time. I do know that if I give in and wallow it just gets worse, but if I work my ass off just to do the basic shit like showering, going to work, shopping, etc, then it stays the same. After a week or two I'll go back to being grey rather than miserable so at least I'm functional then.

I'm glad John Bolton got shitcanned before he could spread death and despair across the world.

reminder 45% of trannies commit suicide
you're a failure of a man trying to escape by becoming the gf he can't get. but you will always be an ugly man in a dress.

I've been doing some artistic things lately. Experimenting with inks in a kind of Pollock manner. It's fun and I like the look. Going to make a few cards for people like this and give them out.

burgerhell doesn't need bolton for that

I've read some of our excerpts that you have posted here before. I think that it's really cute, user.

Don't.

Read /r/drama threads for a few weeks and realize it's just as much of a meme as anything else.

>i literally can't do it
Why not?

I'm gonna make it

and my day is ruined

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Is this MEANT to look like the coomer face? Eerie.

You don't know what a wink is?

I have conflicting interests on friday nights, should I get drunk or play basketball with the Mormons? Should I get drunk and then lead my peers to Mormon basketball?

Playing basketball sounds more fun than drinking alone.

it's a college rager, I don't drink alone

well thanks im going to go kill myself now

On my way, in the darkness by the dumpster I saw a girl standing there.

She looked as though she couldn't make up her mind between standing and sitting

But she had no chair

Most likely she was upset I caught her pissing

She said something too

But I didn't hear it and I had better things to do

Always have to keep a sense of humor in life. Laughter is a cosmic medicine, and a wonderful ingredient in the recipe of being. Ya, i'm finally quitting cigarettes, on the patches and taking chantax, its tough what a mind game this addiction is. I do believe the chantax is causing a slight depression in me though, will be glad to finish up tapering. I haven't had a drink in a month and a half, feels amazing, i feel as if i am constantly moving forward in life. No more poison eating away my brain. You know I have no success in this outside existence, but inside i feel rich in life and reverance for all. So much to do!

It is rare that I see someone who understands this. Yes, you are correct, for I don't believe it is impossible to grasp how like looking at oneself in a mirror the whole of 'wafiufaggotry' really is. Once you are aware of how fickle the mind's machinations can be, and how it is nearly impossible to have something concrete, or rather something that can stand on its own two legs, and that many of the things you imagine for the woman of your dreams are really just you filling in the gaps necessary to make it suit your purposes, the prospect is suddenly far less thrilling. Add on to this how I'm sure many of the people afflicted with this, for lack of a better word, are most likely overly obsessed with something, lacking in something else, or have moderate to severe masturbation problems, and you get quite an unfortunate situation. Nevertheless, I do not think it is entirely unsalvageable, merely that one must come to terms with the fact that he is fundamentally looking at an odd sort of mirror, and then to recall that it is a reflective surface.

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How so?

don't do it hombré

Im envious of people who are talented.
Im envious of people who know what they want from life.
Im envious of people who find meaning in what they do.
My envy turns into sadness and eventually apathy.

I'm all of those things but I'm too lazy to make anything of myself.

Im missing a starter if speaking /o/ terms

Dun Dun Dun Dun dun dun dun dun Dun dun dun dun daar dar nar Dum Dum Dum Dum DUM Dar de num Dun dum dum dum dar dunde dum dum dum dum dum de daar de dar

i thought the thumbnail was a screenshot from morrowind's red mountain with a cliff racer coming in.

Go looking for a "starter" and you won't find it. Maybe you are predisposed to laziness... However, your true nature is boundless vitality. Really, what you envy isn't something you lack. Rather, it is something you haven't accepted yet

Why even bother?

Why do you let this bother you? All that means is their inconsiqential.

All a diverse ideology, with numerous divergent branches, that's been around for thousands of years is easily definable by one simple gatekeeping mechanism?

I keep forgetting I have a family, they probably hate it

I don't believe in collapse only gross transmogrificaton
Even if this is the end of the species what is it but transformation

I don't know man I preferred when it was a dead board over this brainlet shit

>Go looking for a "starter" and you won't find it.
What do you mean?

(citation needed)

I mean, You go light the fire in your ass that'll get you moving, or life will do it on its own terms

I feel the same thing. My father should never have had kids, given the mental state he was in. He's a severely broken man, and has passed on his pathological genes to me and my sister. He's extremely selfish, dumb and just not stable at all in general.
As I grow up, I begin to see the actual extent of his sadness. Both of my parents are pretty much antisocial losers though, without any real friends. And me and my sister are supposed to start friendships from a home situation like that? We're both depressed, prefer to stay at home all the time where my mother is the only source of stability in my life. My dad is just an idiot, and I notice more and more just how much I resemble him. I hate it; I don't wanna be like him, I don't wanna be a fucking retard

100 is the boiling point of water, so I would say yes in a couple of seconds

can u post a pic of urself??

Im afraid of that fire

this is also why I've decided I'm never gonna have kids myself. The chances of bringing another neurotic melancholy loser like myself into the world are just too damn high. I don't wanna put anyone through the things I'm going through

It's going to be OK.

But maybe that kid could utilize those traits and become good writer, artist or musician.

I've had the same exact thought. Just call it a loss at this point

Saturn and Pluto is on my mind.

That's lifetime *attempts*, not completions. The attempt and completion rate drastically reduce with treatment. Anecdotally, I've met more than a few trans people who said they tried to change as a hail Mary before commiting suicide and are only alive today because they just tried, and turned out to succeed

Think positive, anons.

Why is that a good thing?

entropy ensures everything is a net negative

I'm worried this is just an excuse not to put in the effort to build a stable relationship though. Makes me seem like a more moral person as well. Could be really destructive, or wise, depending on the situation.

It's really hard to break out of your shell

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If I knew you irl I would be your friend

I don't mean indifference in the traditional sense, in that I am not referring to the formation of opinions or attitudes on events. Anybody that might say "I am indifferent towards x" is separate from the type of indifference to which I am referring. I am describing an indifference I think to be more fundamental. It is the intentional choice to ignore, or to not invest, in things that might otherwise enrich oneself.
If, for example, I receive a book or movie recommendation from a colleague who had recently seen that book or movie, I will invest myself into attempting to consume that media in a way that would meet whatever level of meaning it had for my colleague. It would be sad, I think, for somebody to reach out to somebody else to share in a moment of emotional similarity, only for that other person to mostly be indifferent towards the gesture. This is why I do not volunteer film or movie recommendations to most of my friends, because I do not believe they will respond or attempt to understand my meaning in the way I wish they might.
This is a very specific example, but I believe it goes further. People who do not hold regard for stangers, or themselves to an extent, might fall under this indifference. It is much easier to disregard the humanity of my neighbor than it is to attempt to understand him or acknowledge him as a conscious being. It is viewing people as obstacles rather than as conscious minds. It is much more difficult, for example, to acknowledge that the stranger who cut me off in traffic is not literally an obstacle, but a whole person with his own feelings, memories, choices, and doubts. To take this moment and respond with a show of emotional frustration I think shows an absence of meaning or purpose in that frustrated individual. To a person who holds really meaning in things, something like a stranger cutting you off in traffic might seem trivial, or responding in rage to that act as petty.
This is what I mean by indifference as not one related to opinions or specifically inaction, but one in which an individual chooses to ignore both other people and themselves. The indifference I mean to describe here is a phenomenon by which people practically choose to ignore their own lives, to ignore beauty or meaning in preference for inaction or the mundane. Certainly though, one would not traditionally describe somebody experiencing road rage as "indifferent," but I am making the case that the root of such behavior is, in fact, indifference.
I think maybe, by indifferent, what I mean to describe is people with no observable reason to live. It is those that have witnessed no beauty or who do not make the effort to try to understand things that have no real reason to wake up every time they go to sleep.

I'm unsure if this is a girl, but if it's a boy I guess I'm about to be gay.

Cut all wires. Lock your doors.

You Euros always complain about how bad and evil American imperialism is. And while it certainly is bad and evil, your own empires (back when you had some) caused just as much devastation, if not more. So who are you to point the finger?

I need people to constantly approve of me in order to feel like I exist. I think I lack the feeling of security that most people have - they can walk around and not feel ashamed for being alive. They're okay with themselves. I'm not.

That people don't kill themselves? I hope you're just being ironic

Traumatic childhood and failed parents will do that to you.

I unironically think if i wasn't born ugly and short i would have none of the problems i have today.

Imagine an asteroid on a fatal collision course with our planet. Who wouldn't be afraid in that scenario?

Everyone is afraid. Remember the stages of grief: denial and isolation, anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance.

I wish for you to push through that fear, with all the strength you can muster... knowing that when the time comes, it will finally envelop you in sweet surrender

You're a fucking idiot. Do you honestly think that if someone is saying their body temperature is over 100°, that they're talking about Celsius? How fucking stupid do you have to be. You could easily infer hes talking about Fahrenheit even without him coming out and saying it.
>inb4 americans use the wrong measurement ecksdee
Who gives a shit, try to rub your two brain cells together before responding again you freak

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Sooner or later, you'll realize that you get nothing out of external validation. In its place, you will learn to trust the deepest knowing of yourself

just loling at all these people who can't leave their family and friends behind

imagine getting this angry over a joke.
is this what autism is like?
you parents should have never got you vaccinated.

See you in your midlife crisis

that is beautiful....
do you know any similar pieces that capture the transcendent?

Creativity isn't this sterile, seperate thing. It's kind of sticky and bounces off everything. When a visitor comes calling, why not also let that inspire you? You don't need to impose order on your creative forces--rather, keep that for the composition/editing process, where you bring ideas together and seperate the wheat from the chaff

say no more
youtu.be/BBeXF_lnj_M

How bad is cheating? From a moral standpoint

My fatal flaw is that i have nothing to strive towards. For the longest time i merely did what others suggested me because i didnt have any interests of my own. It could be summarized by endless walking in a city. Why do i walk? I dont know. What am i seeking? I have no idea. However i still do it.

Does anyone else have trouble distinguishing dreams from reality? I usually have to consort to others if they really did those things or if I just imagined it. The vividness of dreams is as potent as a drug.

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I don’t know what to watch anymore I think anything is going to bore me.

That is not a bad thing. If you need nothing, you lack nothing--and that sounds like freedom to me

Might as well break up instead, cheating is like taking a piss in your own drink.

a sign to move on

Everything humans experience can be summed up as simple shapes and colors endlessely recycled, only slight variations are noticable throughout millenia. Nature really is Satans church. We think we're important because that's what our "programming" told us, and because we fear death.

petrodollar

Is that it? What rigidity. What lack of imagination! My god. My god my god.

pathetic

Why is Yea Forums comfortable with your worthless, incoherent gibberish, but not with mine?
Horseshit.

I'm a failure and I want to die. The only thing that keeps me going is a local deli with really good and cheap food.

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Most of the time there isn't anything in my mind am I broken?

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Will society ever advance enough to fully take care of everyone and give social justice to everyone?

It's not a freedom but merely a prison.

That is OBVIOUSLY the coomer face.

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depends. natural nirvana state of mind? bullshit low energv thoughts? what is and what isnt in your mind?

The only prisoner is the one who thinks he is imprisoned.

i wish i wasn't a brainlet, and had the dedication to write. i've experienced some truly strange things and met some truly fucking strange people, i want them to be preserved somehow. i haven't even kept my diary updated.

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It's not easy. I know it sounds dumb but i feel like there are three parts of me - the conscious me, the hidden one (which i do not know how to find) and the last one who acts like a barrier in order for those two not to meet. Even my dreams do not give any idea how to solve it.

My family wants to put our dog down because he has been sick for a while now. They don't see that feeding him carbohydrates, sodium, and shitty tap water is what's making him sick. I try to tell them, but they won't listen to me because they think I know nothing. I come over, give him some purified water and he instantly feels better.
>no he's sick
>I hate to see him like this it breaks my heart
>his quality of life is poor just put him down
Fuck off you damn retards I'll take care of him myself.

I shite on my country's imperialism all the time, you whatabouting burgoid

Apathy is death

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Somebody told me I never had a single true of true despair in my life, so I looked at him, closed my eyes, smiled and then said
>That's great for me, aint it?

I envy you.

I am the cumbrain meme embodied. Self inflicted pavlovian conditioning was too pleasureable to resist. Replacing stream of negative thoughts with artificial pleasure was too easy and reachable. I became wanker, destroyer of ambition.

dunno, after years of hypercritical hypervigilant anxious thoughts they just faded and left me empty minded like this
I don't, it's not bad but it isn't good. I feel very detached.

haha why would a skeleton have glasses he doesn't have eyes! lol

I'm just sad. Takes too much effort to explain why.

>whataboutism
Hypocritical midwit detected.

>Be me
>Don black overcoat
>Pursue the setting Sun
>Reach verdent lakeside hill
>Observe descent
>Leave
>Pass Protestant church
>Espy opened gates and unlocked doors
>Event afoot
>Approach entrance
>Contemplate
>I am a Catholic
>"Am I allowed in? Is this a sin?"
>Uncertainty descends
>Consider my presence inappropriate
>Return home
>Have tea

I have should have gone in. There seemed to be some singing. The church is usually closed, and contains so much history. I wish to see it. Moreover, it was ten minutes after eight. I did not want to seem unpunctual.

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I'd be easier if we all had a friend like Rakka.

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It's my birthday and its just another reminder than my whole life is just mistake upon mistake.

Man is just the sum of his follies. Quote me on that.

>tfw comfy life but totally alone
I just want a qt innocent gf to hold hands with and do activities together with me. I'd even settle for a qt (strictly platonic) bf at this point.

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>a qt (strictly platonic) bf at this point.
How far does 'platonic' go? Could we cuddle and hold hands?

> Accidentally match with plain 4/10 girl on tinder
> She immediately sends a horny message

I'm lonely but at the same time I have standards and I'm just not attracted to her, should I just unmatch her immediately?

i'm looking forward to going back to university

yes but strictly platonically

Met a girl organically through a mutual (no artificial tinder feeling). We've been chatting a lot and seem to have a lot in common. She's coming over tomorrow night to hang out.

Feeling good, bros.

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Go get her

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Sounds good to me.

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Just drove home from the vet. We ended up putting him down this afternoon, my boy.

4/10 is barely below average.

>day 4 of nofap be like
Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the Superman--a rope over an abyss.

A dangerous crossing, a dangerous wayfaring, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting.

What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal: what is lovable in man is that he is an OVER-GOING and a DOWN-GOING.

I love those that know not how to live except as down-goers, for they are the over-goers.

I love the great despisers, because they are the great adorers, and arrows of longing for the other shore.

I love those who do not first seek a reason beyond the stars for going down and being sacrifices, but sacrifice themselves to the earth, that the earth of the Superman may hereafter arrive.

I love him who lives in order to know, and seeks to know in order that the Superman may hereafter live. Thus seeks he his own down-going.

I love him who labors and invents, that he may build the house for the Superman, and prepare for him earth, animal, and plant: for thus seeks he his own down-going.

I love him who loves his virtue: for virtue is the will to down-going, and an arrow of longing.

I love him who reserves no share of spirit for himself, but wants to be wholly the spirit of his virtue: thus walks he as spirit over the bridge.

I love him who makes his virtue his inclination and destiny: thus, for the sake of his virtue, he is willing to live on, or live no more.

I love him who desires not too many virtues. One virtue is more of a virtue than two, because it is more of a knot for one's destiny to cling to.

I love him whose soul is lavish, who wants no thanks and does not give back: for he always bestows, and desires not to keep for himself.

I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favor, and who then asks: "Am I a dishonest player?"--for he is willing to succumb.

I love him who scatters golden words in advance of his deeds, and always does more than he promises: for he seeks his own down-going.

I love him who justifies the future ones, and redeems the past ones: for he is willing to succumb through the present ones.

I love him who chastens his God, because he loves his God: for he must succumb through the wrath of his God.

I love him whose soul is deep even in the wounding, and may succumb through a small matter: thus goes he willingly over the bridge.

I love him whose soul is so overfull that he forgets himself, and all things that are in him: thus all things become his down-going.

I love him who is of a free spirit and a free heart: thus is his head only the bowels of his heart; his heart, however, causes his down-going.

I love all who are like heavy drops falling one by one out of the dark cloud that lowers over man: they herald the coming of the lightning, and succumb as heralds.

Lo, I am a herald of the lightning, and a heavy drop out of the cloud: the lightning, however, is the SUPERMAN.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY user
HAPPY BIRTHDAY user
HAPPY BIRTHDAY user

my condolences user

That you may find a fleeting moment of self-arrest.

That's ruff m8

I feel the same. I couldn't possibly explain why I'm sad all the time, because it's got to do with nearly everything. Reality is what makes me sad.

People who think the English fucked everything up. They're not wrong but they still shouldn't be allowed rule the Transvaal, it's asking for WW3.

Was doing good but right now I feel like fucking bawling. Fake stoicism can only last for so damn long.

Pussy

i bet her feet smell RANK, i bet her flats peel off leaving little black flecks of salty, sweaty insole leather impacted on the face of her footpad's skin, every pulse of her heart flushing apart the wrinkles in her soles that had been mashed together since she put them on, every throb unsealing more vapors of steamed sweat from the crevices of her toes where they had fermented all day

Someone once posted a very good archived thread where people were talking about the subtleties of greentexting and spoiler tags. Anybody have it? I used to have the bookmarks but Firefox dumped all of them for some reason.

I am so grateful for my family right now. Family is hell, but it is also heaven. These people know us, and love us, and although they are full of laws and unbearable quirks, they are also full of qualities.

My defect is filtering everything through logic. Love doesn't care about knowledge or degree of instruction.

I'm gonna buy my brother a video-game for his birthday.

At certain moments I am filled with an unyielding, total, radiant love of all of humanity. It is like beautiful music. Then it fades, and I feel the crush, the brutality, the meanness. These contrasting forces are enough to drive the ignorant insane. I know better.

A battle of light versus dark has been playing out throughout all history. The true religion has been suppressed by heresy and lies. Once you understand each human being as a battlefield between light and dark, it makes sense when one is vile and one is glorious.

Nevertheless the expression "for the love of humanity" rings out for all time. If only we could see through it all and rejoice in our universal sameness.

Have you ever, without the slightest hint of humor or irony, just wanted to murder someone or at least want them to die somehow? I don't mean some random person I mean a specific person that you know. Like if killing wasn't against the law you would do it in a heartbeat like a scene straight out of American Psycho.

I'm convinced that dreams are a window into parallel universes. As Rodger Penrose believes, the brain is a quantum computer, and it would appear that when the brain is in a certain coherent state corresponding to an alternate reality it "tunes in" to that world. During waking life our mental states correlate with sensory data anchored to direct phenomena. But in dreams, our minds are unanchored. That is why our dreams sometimes have a more palpable reality than reality itself.

youtube.com/watch?v=JMYUBcv3v94

Not really. The closest probably was about what i would feel if i'd killed somebody.

>At certain moments I am filled with an unyielding, total, radiant love of all of humanity. It is like beautiful music. Then
Cringe

I killed a man about 10 years ago when I was on a peace mission in Congo, and reading all these depressing books really just makes me want to slit my wrists, everyday I learn more and more about neo liberalism and the decline of western countries, the thread earlier about sisyphus and how wageslaving away is not the end goal in life and it never ends. I used to have dreams of being back in the Congo and seeing his face and all that, but it hasn't happened in a while but that fucking thread, for who knows what reason is making it look very tempting to kill myself right now. God that feels nice to type at least

Just took the dog out again. Every hour I've had to take him out so he can spray shit on the lawn. Nigger keeps getting into the compost. I want to stick him on a meat hook and gut him alive

I appreciate your insight and the elaboration on what you mean by indifference. It will be a good thing to contemplate while I navigate today's obstacle course.

Those glasses are effay, he’s a fashionable skeleton

Look up books for people with PTSD that have transcripts of therapy sessions. Also, don't take that neolib/decline of the west shit too seriously. Pick up International Political Economy by Frieden and others if you're into that shit, you'll realise nothing is especially clear cut or declining.

Why are there so many terrible MMD videos?

You'd think that NEETs with nothing but time on their hands would be able to make something decent. They have no excuses.

>They have no excuses.
They have no skills tho. Monkey at a typewriter.

They have all the time in the world to get some.

We Euros took great pride in our empires, which were just basically copies of one another; "Holy Romans" copying ancient Romans, colonial era empires also copying ancient Romans, Napoleon as well. All driven by petty materialiatic "needs" while masked as something grand and divine, be that reasoning Apollo, Sol Invictus, Jesus Christ ("Solar" deities, interesting) or some vague mythical explanation such as "Faustian Spirit/destiny". Just meat bags thinking they are divine cause of a couple of fine statues, military campaings and semi plausible "religious" reasoning.

What kind of MMD shit are you trying to watch? Porn? Fight scenes? Those elaborate dance videos? There's a lot of people interested in doing fan or doujin content of some sort so obviously some are going to keep posting drawings on pixiv even if they're on the level of a 5-year-old in terms of artistic ability, so either they're delusional or really aren't that invested in it.

It was you or him (I'm assuming you followed the ROE). Don't read in too much to the lefty stuff, reality is much more complex than they would have you believe

Because that would require effort, and humans are very good at exerting the minimal effort required to complete a task.
Oh so not many skilled people stick with MMD they switch to Maya or blender.

What would a religion based on Whitehead's metaphysics look like?

Lefty shit (assuming we're not counting anarkiddie junk) is what actually acknowledges the complexity of the world while dumbass libs and rightoids hide behind platitudes and ideology

Take the NRx pill, lefties don't acknowledge basic ideas like competition or human evolution. Deterritorialize and deanthropocize yourself desu. Embrace machine intelligence

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B-BUT MUH DEPRESSION!!!

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I feel that I am a failure as a man. I don't have any of the qualities usually associated with masculinity that are positive for oneself and others. The only one I can think of is my patience and restraint to anger.

It isnt healthy to restrain anger.

Yeah

I know this feel, user. I'm 21 and have no respect for my dad either. His opinion is whatever 75% of the room believes, and I can't respect that.

I like it.

bussy

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Bump

Rage

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How are Stoicism and Epicureanism the same?

I sorry you can't relate to such elevated feelings. It must suck to be so primitive.

What is even meant with "collapse". It has already imploded long ago. The west is a dead term. Useless.

>don't suffer unnecessarily, be ataraxic
>chill out bro but also like eat properly and maintain your body and keep a social circle
>some shitty things are unavoidable so don't sweat them but if you can avoid them without causing bigger problems you should

I've been an effective shut-in since graduating from college and moving back home. I do freelance webdev so I don't have to leave for work, and especially now that school has resumed again and my few friends have gone back to college (I graduated a year early) I barely have reason to go outside. I've left maybe twice in the past month, both times to get beer. Worryingly I've started to have minor anxiety whenever I do leave.

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Thank you for answering my question.

I have scoliosis and I can't get laid.This is the 3rd time of the year that I got rejected because of this. I honestly want to kill myself

I have scoliosis too, I no longer bother trying to get dates. No one wants to be with a weird deformed man. I still have some hope I will someday find a sweet qt who will look past it though. But we would have to meet and get to know each other beforehand.

Fuck scoliosis though seriously, can't even get it corrected without risking chronic pain of even fucking paralysis.

When she goes for the hug and then comes that fucking question abot my back. That moment is the reality check.I'd rather be obsese.

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Literally mention "army recruiter" to another person in conversation

Get banner ads an hour later
Hmmmmm

Sometimes an image pops into my mind, so perfect and pure, it's almost unbearable, like a vision of paradise, a friend looking into my eyes, we embrace, nothing withheld, the sun is shining, wind, grass, the blue sky above, I want to cry.

The thing about concrete, right, is that it's really thick. Well it comes in varying thicknesses but as it drys it just gets thicker and harder to move. The other day we were pouring a footer... a footer is like a concrete foundation that walls sit on. Yeah, about 3 feet deep. It's not really a ditch, okay, its more like a trench. An expensive trench. We put steel down in it, all around. Thats why my wallet always has dirt in it. I lean against the sides when I'm tired sometimes and dirt falls in. Anyways yeah so its like a grand or so, worth of concrete and its gotta be usually like a foot deep and all level all the way around. We use a lazer for that. It's a lazer and a thing we attach to a stick that beeps. It's trigonometry or something. So when your pouring it... yeah it's usually black dudes around here. That drive the trucks... Yeah you need a CDL I think I dont know. what was I saying, oh yeah right, so it's fucking hot as balls out, the sun is on ya, youre sweating moving this thick shit coming out of a truck into a ditch and its all going well, then all of a sudden theres too much in there and you gotta shovel it out, and youre getting tired and the concrete is getting harder too move and heavier. Everyone panics, It's a bitch

Nothing, is that problem. I don’t like thinking, when I do it hurts me. I have that 5k, and I know I won’t finish it, but I am going to do it. I know I shouldn’t have had that late night chicken, but I did. Now I am gonna be running at 70% with that fowl in my stomach. And I know I will be dehydrated. If I drink now, I will be waking up to piss. Now I gotta a grease haze.

It gets worse the longer you stay inside. I think your ability for social interaction is sort of like a muscle in that if you don't exercise it might atrophy.

honestly sounds like a limmy monologue or something

How is it that I have a knack for doing stupid shit? Where everyone else says "I should stop now" I go further. I'm going to get myself into trouble, no matter how educated I am, how much older and wiser I get, no matter nothing. Creativity and books and distractions are insufficient. In need reality. I need action. I need danger.

"There's a beast in every man and it stirs when you put anonymity in his hand."

oh I think I saw a skit of his, where he's confused that a ton of steel weighs the same as a ton of feathers. Is it scottish working class humor? I live in the american south though. I'm from northern virginia, which tripled in population or something like that in past 20 years or at least my county did. A bunch of rootless cosmopolitans really. We call it NOVA. Strip malls and suburbs as far as the eye can see. Farer actually. About as far as you can drive with a full tank of gas. 100 miles or so radius around DC. Past that are towns more like Virginia use to be. I mean people that have lived in the area for longer than one generation which is unheard of where I'm from. Now I live in in Richmond, its a small city about 200-300 years old. Ancient for America. Thanks for reading. Be sure to like and subscribe.

you can do something about obesity at least, I'm going to be like this forever

before empire, rome, before rome, the forum. no power may bypass it's workings, no exertion upon the world can be propelled without it's machinery. an unforeseen local collection of architecture and landscape has determined the known world.

You know more about reality than those clowns, don’t let it get to you

There is nothing more pure than to love a woman on a painted tea cup, a statue, a portrait, or an animated character. I hope you get you get over your insecurity one day.

me and my 2d gf are very happy

I love you all

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You especially

We are nearing the end of the year; Obamacare enrollment begins November 1, and it covers pre-existing conditions. If you have the money to sign up for just the few months you need, that might work, and then you could cancel after.

But screw this gay-ass system. I'm voting Bernie and I hope you do too friend, this is barbaric.

I hate the word both.

I miss high school

I've never really thought of school as a great place to actually learn information. I guess that is odd considering I want to be a teacher but I always thought of school and college as a bureaucracy before getting into your job. I understand some people pursue PhD and I guess for them it is different.

Am I a brainlet for having this view?

Reality is utterly meaningless with no chance of discovery or creation of one or many.

Reality is the real hell.

So when's the inevitable NTR section?

>I've never really thought of school as a great place to actually learn information.
That's because it's a generalized form of education formulated to cater to the lowest common denominators.
It is incredibly inefficient if you have half a brain.

>college as a bureaucracy before getting into your job. I understand some people pursue PhD and I guess for them it is different.
The entire purpose of those institutions is to sort the incapable from the capable.

>Am I a brainlet for having this view?
It depends on how you structure it, but no.

Haha, thanks guys, really needed that. I have no clue what I was thinking but whatever, also definitely going to read some ptsd a buddy of mine reccommended phycology of warfare, is that a good place to start?

Not being a native English speaker, I very much hate that soft 'th' sound because my tongue still struggles with it