How do I fix my low self-esteem?

I'm decent looking, workout, read, but am unfortunately a real social outcast that's really awkward and has terrible social anxiety. I think I am an interesting person, but I just cannot find anyone I can connect with. It also does not help that I am an immigrant to America. Since I've grown virtually the entirety of my adolescent life here, I've caught onto a lot of American tastes. Yet still I feel like I cannot identify with either group and feel alienated by both; I cannot relate even with my own family who are very rooted in our culture. I feel very alone and worthless. Do others here feel the same? Also, does anyone have any reading or otherwise suggestions? Much appreciated and much love.

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You stay away from people because you don’t compare your self with people who you are not like and more importantly don’t want to be like. I have gotten over being affected by people so I sorta look at things zoologically. I’ll read People magazine when I’m waiting in line at the grocery store or watch the Kardashian’s with my sister if I am at her house and consider it being informed and kind of take interest as you would watching any kind of phenomenon in the natural world. But I would never compare myself. Everything has its place and so do you. You belong to yourself and I would make an effort to find a way not only to feel comfortable in that fact but realization that there is nowhere or no one else you would rather be.

But it would be so nice to have friends that you can really connect with, wouldn't it? If I had a loving community, I'm sure most of my problems would go away...

Practice is key. You have to get out of your comfort zone by faking; you become as you act. You can try to socialize by starting conversations with your parents, or whomever is close to you. When you get the gesture of socializing try to make friends at the gym by for example spotting someone, or even better, asking someone to spot you - you can get a far way with that alone. As you make more friends, and I assume you have some close ones already, you can go out and have fun with your friends; this makes you realize that there is no need for social anxiety. If you want to overcome it even further; when you go out with your friends, go to a girl you are interested in and have eye contact with; this makes you more confident and will be an icing on the cake to overcome your social anxiety since you are decent looking and do workout.

Books I could recommend you are books on existentialism, like for example Soren Kierkegaards The Concept of Anxiety.

Take it as you please, trying to help a fellow user.

Thank you for your input, I will keep your words in mind.

Do you have unusually high standards for yourself and for others? Most normies have never thought about what the minimum standards for themselves and others should be, so they don't have an exact minimum standard to apply to anyone. Normies will usually like anyone who knows how to loosen up. Normies like to talk about themselves, you can ask them questions, but only if you're genuinely interested.
I feel alienated as well, but I do not want to belong to a group. I prefer to connect to like-minded individuals. I believe that identifying with racial or ideological groups causes people to become delusional, especially in this age. I prefer to be part of none. You will definitely find a few people who are somewhat relatable if you became vulnerable and fearless, observed other people, and made the intention to connect with them.
Book rec: Steppenwolf by Hesse

It would. Not going to lie. When I meet someone I have even a small affinity with I get so worked up with excitement. I recognize you’re talking about literature specifically and I’ve never had a friend group or even a friend who was as involved with literature as I am. Ever. My head would probably explode. I am very grateful for Yea Forums

i recognise this but it is insincere.

I go through periods of extremely low self-esteem, but then absolute disgust and feelings of superiority only to go back to low self-esteem. Probably a defense mechanism.

I used to have terrible social anxiety because of my teen years of being an outcast and my family shutting me out.

I basically learned how to overcome my own fears and anxiety by working in a restaurant where I was forced to talk to strangers constantly. It took me awhile but eventually I learned how to relax to be around people. Most of what you see is an act. I learned that what I thought normal people were like was the total opposite, they're all as weird as we are even if they don't realize it.

For making friends, I always have made friends because I am interested in a lot of different things. Literature, anime, music, art, video games, working out, food, science etc. But that is because that's what I've always been interested in, so I can usually find something in common with people to talk about. Although it isn't easy to make good friends, and eventually friendships burn away unless you actively try and keep them going.

I would say the most important thing is to step back, take a breath and let go of everything you think you know or feel. Take little steps out into the "real" world or force yourself into a situation where you have to adapt like I did.

>I still have weird behaviors from my past with social anxiety but I try to keep them at bay when they come up. I have to remind myself that it's all in my head and that none of this shit personally matters to me anyway.