Hi Yea Forums,
Made a similiar thread yesterday about the lore to a story I'm writing. In the picture is a brief overview of the events that happen before the start of the Main story arc. The lore feels incomplete so I'm looking for suggestions to things to add in (can be characters, gangs, whatever) and things to change. Any feedback would be appreciated.
This was my original timeline from yesterday, like to think I improved it a little bit
>Bambini Terribili
People in Italy know french.
And people both in Italy and France have played MGS.
My Priest played MGS, actually.
"Progetto Ventuno Grammi" is omnious enought but Please change some names.
Ah you got me there, I'll change it. Got any suggestions?
All in all it looks like an interesting idea. How do You plan to develop It exactly? Does it start with Iroquois waking up?
Yeah pretty much, what I have in mind for the first scene he wakes up on the slab then the Members of the church undercover his disguise and it's basically a nightclub shootout once they find out an impostor transferred souls.
what would you add to it?
Strong start, cool.
I would have the prophets having predicted This sort of thing and having a collateral plan which will become apparent later. Maybe Iroquois Pilskin later discovers that some police agentes have secretly already undergone the soul transfer process. This would mess him up good.
So MGS + NGE?
That's not a bad idea. I could work it so that since Judas and the prophetas stole the research data when they smoked section III it could lead them to the delusion that mary is bringer of destruction since she is technically the second oldest living bambini terribilis. And wouldn't it be awesome if members of S.A.T were actually double agents working with the church?
Come to think of it, yeah. If only koijimi and anno could collaborate
>bambina terribile
ftfy
Thanks!
I'm also thinking of how I will incorporate Judas and Anderson. I think it might be cool if I turn judas into some big boss kind of figure and Anderson as one of the people who help Iroquois bring down the church?
Project Spaghetti Linguini
I can see Judas as Big Boss; but You'll have to develop these people better than this blurb If You want a cogent analisys: at the moment We only know the General situation. You should talk us more about these people.
I'm curious, explain.
Ah then I'm not the only one. I'm starting general for now, this timeline is only supposed to be a general analysis to kinda try world build and for me to get a better idea of the political situation in the story. How do you picture these characters? Or what comes to mind on how you would better develop these characters?
I'll need a bit of time to answer this.
I have time, I'm writing a uni essay as we speak
Quick update, didn't add too much. But the cenacle incident is when the actual story starts (The nightclubs name is the cenacle).
Ok look. I Think actually the way to go here is full on parallel Judas and Liquid rather than Big Boss, But that depends on how much You want to riff on MGS exactly. On one hand there's a clear parallel between the genome soldiers and the Prophetas (I Profeti If you still want to follow the Italian theme), but on the other Judas looks like a more subdued character than Liquid. Less flamboyant, he doesn't have to prove anything since he always was the oldest brother and was doted on, so he needs something besides "i must save my little brothers!" To motivate him that isn't "I SHALL DEFEAT SOLID SNAKE".
I propose that that something is Faith. He might have joined seminary and was sent to Africa to help with building a school and his time there changed him.
Anderson is a lot more "big boss" imho, a conflicted character between two cospiracies; Section III and his own plans/ his own attempts not to let everything go to shit. He has to Watch again and again as things slip between his fingers and precious allies and friends die. The sacking of Section III was basically his equivalent to the attack to motherbase from XOF.
Paralleling liquid actually does make sense, not sure if you read the updated timeline yet but I added that Judas starts to become an influence to the bambini terribilis and at an early age he starts giving speechs to them about liberation and freedom, which leads to the Vatican uprising and Section III massacre. I kind of want his motivation to be driven by hatred of the church for the whole project ventuno grammi and using children as vessels for old men to transfer their souls into. Hate to sound big headed, but Juda's character is pretty institutionalised, I kind of want to portray his earlier character as being very institutionalised. I do like that faith factor, I'll definitely use that, but wouldn't it be cool if Judas is woke and uses faith as a manipulation tool to his followers to get them to bend to his will? And yeah pretty much, damn this story is heavily MGS inspired.
And yeah you're also right about Anderson being a big boss, maybe I could write it so Anderson separates from the church and forms another faction?
>I do like that faith factor, I'll definitely use that, but wouldn't it be cool if Judas is woke and uses faith as a manipulation tool to his followers to get them to bend to his will?
That would be cool too but consider this: If Judas actually has Faith the conflict assumes another dimension. It's not just "these assholes want to hurt my little Brothers!" It becomes "these assholes BETRAYED MY FAITH".
After all he would have no real reason to stick around and stage the day of the burning churches If all he wanted was to get his Brothers and Sisters away from there. He would just move with them in south America, or anywere else away from their clutches. The fact that he founds the Prophetas means he has something to do in there, that he has a beef with them. The idea of the Church having betrayed the faith solves this. He's the one who'll set things right now.
Or works covertly for the inside to help SAT
Now we're talking and getting into real koijima territory here, I like it. In regards to Judas, what does he have to gain from destroying the church? First thing that comes to my mind is to dissolve the church into the prophetas by targeting the rank in the church. What's your take on this?
I like that too, when would you suggest in the pre-lore timeline Anderson becomes a double agent?
>What does he have to Gain
Nothing, personally. He feels he has to Because the Church is corrupt. Basically What he would gain would be "peace of mind" for having done God's work (and, well, there's a Power vacuum in the shape of a Church now... not that he would be swayed by personal ambition, obviously...).
>when anderson double agent
After his wife tells him to escape with her and he refuses. Guilt. He will live to repent doing this.
(Also Obviously anderson is married so he can't be a "Father", But he can be a deacon...)
Alright made some minor changes in the 2020s period. Let me know what you think! Also, you got a discord or something?
I'm not that good with discord, got it only recently. You?
updated yet again
yeah if you want to work on this little story with me I can give you my add?
That would be great
Dr Pine#3578
And done