ITT: True stories from the workplace

I'll start...

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You overlooked the fact that no one here has a job, and thus no one here has workplace anectdotes to share...

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I’ve worked the same job in local government in a public facing role for seven years. I do have plenty of anecdotes, just a bit tired to write right now. If thread is alive tomorrow will post some.

ACtually, I work at an advertising agency as a copywriter, and I come here to relieve stress. I just worry that if I share any anecdotes, I'll get doxed.

I go to a Christian university in the northeast. Our university sometimes hosts a conference for Chinese missionaries. Apparently this has happened before because the university made sure to announce to the guests that it was okay to flush the toilet paper in the bathrooms, and even put up signs on the stalls saying to flush it. I guess people don’t flush toilet paper in china because of insufficient plumbing. They acted like they didn’t understand and just tossed fucking shit covered toilet paper on the ground, it was all over the bathrooms, the nastiest bathroom scene I’ve ever encountered. Fucking gross, and they knew they could flush it, just couldn’t be fucked to change their conditioning.

Put a wastebasket in the stalls, if they insist on not flushing TP they'll put it in the basket.

When I was in Japan I saw this sign in a public toilet at a museum reminding you not to stand on the rim and shit in the floor. They’re not overly fond of Chinese tourists from the conversations I had.

I live in Edinburgh, loads of Chinese tourist, they don’t really bother me. They’re not loud or obnoxious generally.

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I’ve worked in a supermarket for the past two and a half years.
Two customers have shit themselves in the store in that time.

When you're wage slaving, and at the end of a long shift at the end of a long week, horseplay with your coworkers is one of the most cathartic feelings in the world. Otherwise boring or silly little games become incredibly fun and memorable, really endearing you to your coworkers. Just disregarding what you're meant to be doing to fuck around for 15 minutes, one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Rookie numbers

>binged on KFC last night and felt so fat and told myself it was the last binge
>went back to flat to watch tennis; watched Nadal get closer to overtaking Federer, though the match didn't feel so bad to watch because I knew Nadal would win
>went to bed so late
>woke up at 10 am, browsed internet on phone in bed, slept again
>woke up at 1 am, browsed internet, drank coffee
>despite sleeping I was still kind of tired and I felt this existential weariness about my life and my inability to make use of my free time; also felt visceral patheticness at being an ugly everythingless beta
>googled famous people and saw that many hadn't yet become renowned at 28 but they were working hard on fulfilling stuff while I'm not
>cleaned my room (no existential benefits detected)
>went to gym for cardio
>mourned the fact that my rent is high because I live alone and not in zone 5 and how my job will only let me save a few hundred a month if I avoid all binges and daily £3 coffees
>considering a weekend job in addition to my regular one but I don't know how I'd feel (lost weekends for £300 extra in savings per month?)
>went in to central London for my usual walk; felt sad at seeing the officeStaceys (officeStaceys are late 20s or early 30 and attractive but definitely in an intermediate stage between their primes and Karenhood)
>read part of an enjoyable history book in library; felt sad for not being a person who writes history books
>now drinking coffee; unsure what I'll eat tonight

It's so dark. Summer is over.

I can't make use of my free time due to zero motivation caused by being an atomised ugly blackpilled loser. But I hate wagecucking with a passion.

Big fat junk food binges are all that give me pleasure.

I am having nostalgia over my life a few years ago, post-uni, living with my parents, lots in the bank (I have wasted thousands on junk food), following the Trump campaign in 2016. Going on autumn walks on damp days, including through the woods, listening to Alex Jones.

I drive. Call it a bit of a specialized taxi service in the country. I don't work in storms, I'll tell the dispatcher to sluff off if they ask me to drive in unsafe conditions.

My passengers don't like this practice. They say to me:

"The problem with good drivers is that they are smart enough to stay home in bad weather. What this ends up doing is that the bad drivers still show up to work. We need good drivers like you when the weather is bad so we can actually get home safely."

Luckily for my passengers, most of the time, the storm strikes while I'm already out of the house and I have no choice but to carry on driving. One time we got a freak storm really early, so early the transport manager hadn't even switched the tires over to winter yet, which really didn't help.

Couldn't pass safely, couldn't see, roads were slick with ice, couldn't go more than fifty, averaged much less. What was usually a two hour trip at most took eight hours. I couldn't take my eyes off the road or hands off the wheel, so I had the passengers leaning out the window for me to clear off the ice from the wipers and handle keeping the windshield clear. I made it to the drop off point and generally you could go forward and turn down another street to get back. The drifts were too tall ahead so I had to reverse down my tracks all the way to the highway to get out.

It was even worse going back. Cars and semis in the ditch all along the way. Finally the turn off to the road home appears, and it's plowed. Only problem is, the exit hasn't been plowed. Not only that, there was a tow truck working there trying to get someone free who had tried to take the exit and failed. I made it through the snow and all the obstacles and finally landed my wheels back on the pavement. I stopped and took a break and finally opened my thermos for a hot drink. My return passengers told me they couldn't believe I made it through all that when there were a hundred cars in the ditch along the way.

Now, everytime one of the crewman who I drove that day gets in my cab, they say: "You're the guy who drove us through that blizzard!"

Good read. Those are nights you do not forget.

I worked retail at some point. I was in the parking lot hauling carts back into the store when some dude started bragging to me about his Mercedes and how he wanted to buy a "better" Mercedes like the one that was standing opposite to his on the parking lot. At some other point a dude approached me and said "those who don't work with their mind work with their hands", chuckled, and moved on.

The most annoying thing is that I'm like this too. I don't say it out loud obviously but every time I see a person of presumably lower status all I feel is smugness. We're such fucking pigs and I hope some deranged mutt nukes the world.

dammit london frog, use your picture and make your own threads.

seen similar sign in Tanzania

In university I took a part time job in a local deli so I could help pay for my studies. The big draw to this deli was it's old polish ladies who worked downstairs in the kitchen and the massive smoker that was the only one in town where people would come from miles to have a wide selection of game or our own products smoked. One day the old ladies grandson was looking for a job so they gave him a part time gig. For the sake of brevity I'll refer to him as K. K was nice but very very dumb. He often would go in the freezer with a bong, smoke in there and walk out, leaving him bong in which would freeze, crack and shatter. He did this three times, couldn't figure out the problem. Sometimes he would just laugh to himself and when you asked what was funny he just replied "Jews" and giggled. Once a phone rang, he stared at it for a while and asked "what do I do?".

Around Thanksgiving we began to sell sausages, particularly turkey sausages. There were two types, one with 50% pork and one with 100% turkey. When K. asked why do we have to point this out we told him "some people have dietary concerns, others religious objections" K. replied "what religions?" We said "either Jewish or Muslim" K nodded. Not 10 minutes later a blonde, blue eyes woman walks in and asks for a turkey sausage, K turns around and yells "WHY, ARE YOU MUSLIM?" and stares her down, she turned around and left.

I've got more stories about that place but I'm going to bed, if this thread is still up I'm happy to oblige

sounds like a good job, I love driving in dangerous conditions

What the fuck has this to do with literature.

>turns around and yells "WHY, ARE YOU MUSLIM?" and stares her down
what a fucking Chad

It’s a storytelling thread.

>stories about my mum bugging me whilst the most iconic novel of the 21st century aren't valid

Excellent story! Would enjoy hearing more!

Truth.

based

That's probably because you don't work with tourists. If you did you'd understand the hatred for chinks, trust me