Rate my love letter, chums. I’m too much of a pussy to give it to her irl, so I will just post it in this thread

Gives Mr. Rogers vibes with “Dear Neighbor”

Sorry, I'm phoneposting.

>I'm phoneposting

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based gas poster

just put it in her mailbox OP. life is too short to care about petty things like restraining orders. the heart wants what it wants! also, if dubs, put on some lipstick and kiss the page right next to your signature.

trips and you film yourself giving it to her.

So close

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...Please don't do it, for your sake, I'm begging you. There's no other way to put this so I'm sorry but it's just straight up cringe

That was fucking crynge to read, you vision of love is that of a teenager, grow up and don't make a fool of your self by giving her this

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What is mature love supposed to be like, anyway? I’m 25 and I’m pretty sure the woman I wrote this for is about 30. Maybe my letter will convince her to become my mistress.

Holy shit, double dubs confirms it

Have you been in a relationship before? I don't want to be intentionall offensive but some of the things said would set off red flags for most women. Especially
>Let this remain our secret
At best, she'll laugh it off and view you as naive and inexperienced, but innocent. At worst...

getting love letters is cringe and creepy
not saying your heart isn't in the right place but your woman will most likely not appreciate it unless she's an /intellectual/

if you want her you should try different methods

>but your woman will most likely not appreciate it unless she's an /intellectual/
>if you want her you should try different methods

Can you expound on both these points, my guy?

Reading the first few sentences, she’s now going to know what the fuck your talking about unless she has a dictionary on hand(google)

Don't be a fucking sperg and just ask her out to dinner you fucking retard. And don't be a cunt if she says no.

so, I have done the love letter thing before, more than once, and trust me 99% of the time it's not a good idea
>your woman will most likely not appreciate it
if she sees the letter she will either:
1. take you for granted and treat you like shit/not give a fuck about you since, if you love her enough to write her a letter, she doesn't really need to give you love and attention
2. think you're a creepy weirdo who still hand writes his own letters (personally i think love letters are cute but most humans are vain, even then if i got a love letter from someone i don't love i would feel a little bothered)

>different methods
if she is your neighbour you should first of all get an excuse to actually talk to her, make a good first impression (dress well, lift, etc). then you move on to your next goal, which is to get her to want/love you, or at least interested in you. you do this through a combination of different methods but you should focus on making a good impression first
regardless you should know that trying to get a stranger to love you like that is very difficult and you probably need to find something more realistic. there is a 95% chance that the love letter thing will not work and if she's a thot she will not even appreciate the relatively good prose

Be sceptical about any advice you find online. The internet is mostly for people who don't get laid much.

>Don't be a fucking sperg!!!!
>And don't be a cunt if she says no!!!!

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>she will not even appreciate the relatively good prose

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>make a good first impression (dress well, lift, etc). then you move on to your next goal, which is to get her to want/love you
Bad advice. The only good advice is to casually become her friend and find out more about her interests and personality without being attached to the outcome. There's a chance that you are idealizing her and that you might not be so compatible.

>I’m 25
>Maybe my letter will convince her to become my mistress.
lmao.
just do this and dont go full retard just because you find her beautiful.

Can any of you anons comment on the actual quality of the writing itself?

>DONT GO FULL RETARD BRO IT WONT BE COOL

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come on i wanted OP to feel good, i feel sorry for people who cant get women they love cause i've been there
and normies cant even write half as good, hence "relatively" faggot
okay but how the fuck you do casually become your neighbour's friend?
have you guys ever.... talked?
this situation is just weird as fuck OP i suggest you try to fuck some tinder thots, get some experience

i'm sorry op but you have dont talent or self awareness

>OP i suggest you try to fuck some tinder thots
Holy shit this is even worse advice.

don't have*

If she's anything near a normie, she'll think that you're a weird dweeb, unless you have the physical attractiveness to make up for it. You sound like a kind guy, but most people nowadays will cringe if a stranger sends a letter describing his infatuation and lust for her. You need to get to know her and not fool yourself into thinking that you love someone whose name you don't even know.

no it is you retard, if OP is excited about just seeing a beautiful girl he probably just needs some action

as time goes on people tend to regret things they didn't do more so than the embarrassing things they did do
not saying that sending the letter will make your life any less miserable, as that is a state none of of us can attain, but I think if you really feel you want to send this letter you should.
as for the letter itself, tldr

op you gotta

Record it for us

>people tend to regret things they didn't do more so than the embarrassing things they did do
I find myself cringeing at shit I did when I was young far more than shit I didn't do when I was young. Such an untrue statement.

how old are you?

64

Young enough that I'm assuming you'll disregard my point, so let's just skip to the end where I call you a faggot.

well I was referring to people past middle age but I should have made that clear

That seems more sensible to me

under raterd

(1/2)

OP here. For what it is worth I will provide more context to my letter regarding why I wrote it and why I thought it would work. I moved to the city to date my ex-gf who was my oneitis at the time. It was an abrupt move, I uprooted my entire life to be with her. I quit my job, ended my lease, and sold my car before moving to the city. Yet I managed to move into a nice apartment by a park in a trendy neighborhood. Soon afterward I noticed that the next door apartment building contained an apartment directly aligned with mine, with the windows in the living rooms, kitchens, and bedrooms in both apartments directly facing one another. Since I was poor at the time and couldn't afford blinds I taped newspaper over my bedroom window for privacy. But the other windows in the apartment remained uncovered, allowing me to look into the apartment next door, where two women lived. At first it was awkward with us looking at one another, but over time we grew accustomed to it. Several months later--7 to be exact--my gf began pestering me to replace the newspapers over my windows with blinds. I acquiesced and purchased blinds. The first night with the new window arrangements was what started everything, the torment. I left the blinds open in my room and could see that the window in the bedroom across from mine was partially covered. For some reason I went to bed especially late that night. The lights were turned off in my neighbor's bedroom, and I thought it safe to undress in front my window. The following night my neighbor waited to me to enter my bedroom and stand in front the window before she started undressing in front of me. She knew exactly what she was doing.

(2/2)

This went on for a few days until she saw me masturbating in front of my window. She watched me perform the act until I made eye contact with her. She quickly closed her blinds and hasn't rearranged them ever since. The result of those nights were defining. Lust consumed me, and unable to look my gf in the eye, for I swore I would never cheat on her, I resolved to end our relationship. Everything I had gone through to be with her ended because of the girl next door. It has been 7 months since then. My neighbor hasn't moved out yet, and I am certain that she has even renewed her lease. But throughout that time some notable events occurred. Initially, when I was tormented by lust, I would paste various literary quotes on my window for my neighbor to read. But after about a week of doing this she posted a note on her window telling me stop. Months later, when the weather became warmer, I would read in the back of my building. My neighbor's apartment has a back porch, where she would sunbath or pass time. Sometimes we would both be outside at the same time, and I could not help but look up at her between reading. One day she snapped at me, shouting, "Can I help you? Fuck off." I did not respond but continued reading. That was the only direct contact we ever had. Since then the only times I see her are when I am reading on the front steps of my building and see her walking her dog, but if she sees me, she walks in the other direction. Yet, even after all this time, my infatuation persists, hence why I wrote the letter. I am tempted to tell her that she ruined my life before handing her the letter.

I enjoyed the read. She seems nuts, though.

Trent!
I'm really glad you feel that way. I noticed you longing for me and you wouldn't believe how much that turned me on.
However, I would rather we don't talk about this. Instead, I would love you to help me live out my fantasy. Tonight, at midnight, please break into my room. I'll act like I'm fast asleep. I want you to rape me in my sleep Trent, & come inside me. Have your way with me!
I'm getting tingly just imagining it. Can't wait for tonight!
See you... or not ;) neighbor

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just send her this

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75% narcissism, 25% social awkwardness interpreted as "creepiness".

After this reading, I have to change to 90% narcissism 10% potential serial killer.

"And lick my feet. Lick my feet to your heart's content."

>getting love letters is cringe and creepy
Getting love letters is great when it's written by someone who's essentially similar to you and who is at least somewhat attractive. Better than great.

That said, unless OP's neighbour is a weird creepy nerd too then his chances are zero.

Hot!

She's kind of autistic, I think. She's always at home, and I have never really seen her with any friends, let alone a boyfriend.

Have you seen her feet?

>pear bitch

Yes, several times actually. They are cute.

Could be a good match. Worth a shot.

How the fuck would you like her to respond? Coming right through your front door and sucking your dick? Imagine it was you who received that.

Why won't you ask her out like a normal person?

Work on your handwriting. Also OP, do you work out? If you aren't fit then you shouldn't be writing love letters.

>If you aren't fit then you shouldn't be writing love letters.

Why not? Incidentally, I'm pretty /fit/lit/, as I am an amateur soccer player.

>okay but how the fuck you do casually become your neighbour's friend?
Throw a party/dinner with other people or friends you have and invite her. Or try and talk to her in any occasion you can meet her and strike out a conversation about anything. Girls know from the start if you're actually trying to flirt, but you do it anyway because this is how flirting works, you go regardless of possible outcome. If you fear doing this it means you need to be more confident In your looks and chances, in other words if you feel intimidated it means youre either not well socialized or not appreciate your good qualities (if you don't have them then you need to start working on it: lift, get a job and money, try to have as many positive things going for yourself.. You'll start to feel proud and "worthy" of flirting because you have the feeling you have value)

>throw a party
>roofie the drink
Aww, the good old and tried path to marriage.

what said. Good handwriting can improve you letter incredibly (right now it feels amateurish), although the content is still kinda weak

>I would paste various literary quotes on my window for my neighbor to read. But after about a week of doing this she posted a note on her window telling me stop.
This was actually very Yea Forums on her part in a way - playing hard to get with an infatuated autist.

Seriously, you're going to try defending going full retard.

holy fucking cringe

i hope you're 15

Women deserve to know how worthless they are, soiboy.

Writing love letters if you're older than 15 is cringe.
Writing them if you're over 20 is giga-cringe.
If your love letter contains more than 10 sentences, it's cringe beyond words.
Writing a long-ass letter to your fucking NEIGHBOR is cringe beyond comprehension.

>mfw I got baited

Do you feel any inclination to lick her feet or suck her toes?

Only send a love-letter if you're in a relationship.
Sending one out of nowhere would be like kissing her out of nowhere, it's way too intimate

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man, just invite her to have some orange juice
and bee urself

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Sounds a bit like faux old-timey, like Nightland, which was written in the 1940s, but was itnentionally made to sound vaguely like something from the 1700s.
Unlike Nightland though (or for another comparison: older translations of foreign works like 1001 arabian nights) there aren't really sentences that are so roundabout that they're hard to understand.

I'd recommend removing sensuous, and replace peculiar with something else, but otherwise I can't see anything specific that I'd definitely want removed.

If I read this in a novel, I'd be totally satisfied with it.
But if a neighbour sent this to me? I'd be creeped the fuck out.
Don't do it user. Everyone in this thread thats telling you to do it just wants you to suffer and to laugh

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I’m not against love letters but honestly yours is badly written. It really makes you sound like a creep.

But I'm not ugly, so it can't be creepy, right?

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