Write what's on your mind

Young lawyer here. Run as fast as you can. You sound a lot like me and I can tell you right now that your intuition is telling you something real.

I am getting the fuck out of here ASAP. One of my coworkers literally died of an overdose this past week.

Maybe a wine cellar style of storage, but alcohol is trashy by nature.

Yeah I feel like there's a big disconnect between my idea of alcohol and what it's actually like. I don't drink much myself which helps maintain this delusion that alcohol is all about chilling out on a balcony and drinking some nice wine as you enjoy the evening breeze. As opposed to getting sloshed on cheap rum and drunk calling your oneitis at 2am.

Starting to seriously think about my future for the first time in my life. I was raised on the Bible: "Give no thought for the morrow", "Man shall live by bread alone". My parents lived this too, always relying on the charity of others to survive, living in church properties, driving church vehicles, working in church businesses, putting us through church schools. They wouldn't ever admit this but they were and are completely reliant on the church's good graces. And being Pentecostals, those graces can change on a whim.

I can't imagine starting a family in a trap like that. I never had a chance to decide anything in my life and it feels cruel to put another generation through that. I'm 23 now and don't have any special skills or training that could give me the ability to eventually own my own house, or put kids through school and college. My parents, and their parents were quite happy selling all of their assets so they could go live on a commune. Happy, but financially irresponsible. Wealth is value, is freedom, and they gave that all up because they couldn't stomach being responsible for their lives and went off to be controlled by a charismatic preacher who promised the world would end soon. So fucking stupid. I love them, but goddamn, pay attention, the guy is obviously a narcissist, even visibly so.

So know I have to choose between the path of cope: relying on the kindness of others for the rest of my life and hope I don't offend their sensibilities (or that the communal coffers don't dry up, the community is struggling to retain the youth it attempts to raise). Or, bear the debt the last three generations refused to pay and pull myself out of the generational poverty pit. (Not actually debt that you would owe, but the cost of not participating in the general economy for almost 50 years now).

I shouldn't have to deal with this problem. It's embarrassing and makes me think poorly of my elders. They can go do their gobbedly gook mystical stuff if they want, just don't force your children to go along with it, and definitely don't threaten to disown them if they don't play along. Having religious parents is pretty much the same as having tranny parents, they force you to play along with their obviously fake worldview and isolate you from the world of solid, normal people. I wish I had parents I could respect and look up to, real role models and not just broken people

I don't have anyone in my life I trust enough to share this with, so any sort of recognition is greatly appreciated

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I got a little collection going

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I think I'm going crazy. I'm taking Intro to Bio in college and I'm starting to question how we know all these things on the cellular level. I'm actually beginning to think that the government is controlling all the information and this all isn't true.
Also, In my dreams I've been alternating between many different people; it's disturbing.
It might just be my fever though. I hope I'm not developing schizophrenia

get out of there, user.
i'm only 25, but have drifted from alcohol as it's more unsavory effects have destroyed my friends.
sorry to hear all that, user. are you mormon or JH? you should leave and enjoy your life.

I despise the Twitter slave moralist social commentariat . This buzzing swarm of insignificant ephemerons who can't take a joke, who problematize everything, who trivialize the issue they claim to champion by assigning importance to every empty trifle or untoward remark.

As with any insignificant thing, taken in isolation they are no more than an annoyance. In a virulent swarm, however, even flies can be dangerous. That is how it is with these sophomoric Twatters. They create nothing, they only leach off the creator, they exist only in reference to those who posit. Their entire personality is constructed to await outrage and disappointment, to play the eternal victim and enlarge every minutia into a catastrophe.

I'm waiting for life to pass as if it were an ailment.

Any parent who doesn't distill the value of self dependence and independence in their children is objectively a failure

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The closest group I found to it is the Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm planning to get out, but it's fraught with a lot of peril. Probably the hardest thing I'll have to do in my life. I'm trying to get into the military so I can get a ride through college but I've been diagnosed with depression which I would have to lie about to get in and if they find out, I'll get kicked out at the *very* least.

a world of filth
have you eaten any?
is it part of your flesh and blood?
or can you spit it out and go on as though it never happened?

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my main motivation for pleasing you is the fear that you won't let me fuck you again
not because I know or like you

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meditative innervation - you can meditate and visualize reality - combat etc. - in your head
you can shut out your surroundings and visualize achieving your goals
you can get yourself into an excited state by focusing on this visualization where you are free to do anything, like in a dream
and the actual neurons in your brain and the actual nerves of the actual body parts you would actually use to achieve these things will be activated and the brain-nerve connections strengthened
even if you are in prison and fed only enough to survive you can train yourself to escape with this technique
remove all hesitation

Sex for recreational purposes is bad and an expression of the Demiurge's Will. We are White men of valor and integrity. No whore shall lead us astray from the path of righteousness. Now begone, vile beast and excrement of the Demiurge.

They [the jews] have totally restructured the value of money around anti-white forced redistribution of resources.
The trillions of dollars they've used to manipulate the hardest asset of all, a HOME, has totally distorted the meaning of everything that this economy touches.

People are going insane en masse because of this.
Their concept of value has been completely corrupted by submitting to labor for a currency that exists solely to stab them in the back.

They might not realize it because they are totally uneducated and idiotic, but their subconscious has been deeply reworked because of the echoing consequences of this manipulation.

All of the branches of jewish power are bent first and foremost on controlling the housing market.
The house is the vessel for the family.
People just aren't likely to reproduce and integrate fully with society unless they have their own house.
So if they control the housing market, they control demographics. If they control demographics long enough, they control the entire world.

So they bring every gun to bear: mass media propaganda, activist judges, federal law/regulation, central bank currency manipulation, domestic insurgents rioting and committing terror attacks, etc.

They made laws based on affirmative action/"equality of outcome" legal doctrine to force banks to give loans at zero interest with zero money down to minorities regardless of their ability to repay (and to give the executives of those banks easy bonuses).
They literally count welfare income when evaluating whether or not to give minorities loans while they will deny a white application for any small technicality.

Then they package these 'deals' in securities and sell them to gullible goyim to wipe out their assets as much as possible ("mortgage backed securities" sound familiar?).

I don't want to be here anymore.

TL;DR they caused the financial crash of 2008 by stealing money from the taxpayers, using it to undercut their demographics by shipping in hordes of brown idiot migrants and giving them free real estate, packaged this scam up as a wall street investment instrument, then used it as a wrecking ball on the economy.
And they're still running the same scam, but at a much larger scale. The blowback is not going to be so easily avoided this time.
Get ready.

This is one presentation of many that accurately describes this process in greater detail:
youtube.com/watch?v=8Nbvd3FOLUA

This is a more comprehensive and academic resource:
fcic-static.law.stanford.edu/cdn_media/fcic-reports/fcic_final_report_wallison_dissent.pdf

You seem to think that all of this a conscious effort by Jews to undermine western civilization. Wouldn't it be simpler to say that Jews are simply ahead of the game in regards to bowing to the whims of technocapital? All of the bad things you listed are simply the things that can resist commoditization the most efficaciously. If you blame the jews, you are simply missing the forest for the trees

you're an insane animal locked into a cycle of compulsive behavior that doesn't benefit you in any way

I think sex with someone you are in love with is the holiest thing you can do with your time

Worked my last shift before four months off work. Writing my two novels and editing an amateur publication. Very content and happy at the moment.

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>conscious
or instead of arguing about why they're doing it, we could just kill them and stop them from doing it, or anything else, forever more

Do you know any literary agents?

But if you do that, you are merely delaying the problem. You honestly think the Han Chinese or Nigerians wouldn't do the exact same things if they got the chance? The problem goes a lot deeper than you seem to think

>just totally ignore the jewish hand in devising and constructing these institutions
>ignore the impending extinction they introduce to you
>"just let it happen, it would have happened anyway, you don't need more time, just go to sleep"
this is why I kill jews

>delay the problem or go extinct
gee lets think about this one

I'm a minority, but I don't get free handouts. I wish I did.

how do you really know though?
how do you know why you got hired for any job you've had?

So, say you do kill all the Jews or whatever, Holocaust 2.0. Do you honestly think that's going to solve all of the problems of scarcity and alienation? I'm no fan of the Jews but I can tell you that getting rid of them isn't going to solve your problems or make you happy

I was rejected from many jobs, even with a decent education.
I had many of my queries for a book I wrote rejected too, though one short story was accepted.
I am probably more educated than you. I got a STEM degree, though it was worthless, but I am back for another one which might land me a job.
Life is not easy for me, but I was smart enough to get a loan.

who said anything about any of that shit? are those our problems? are they anyone's?
why do you think they aren't caused directly by jewish influence?
>just totally ignore the jewish hand in devising and constructing these institutions

>tries to make this about his personal experience which is bullshit anyway rather than the trillions of dollars airdropped to social engineering projects
btw your parents probably fed and housed you with affirmative action cash

>I was smart enough to get a loan.
I was smart enough not* to get a loan*

>affirmative action cash
They were educated minorities and didn't ever receive affirmative action. You are very assumptive.

>affirmative action cash
They were educated minorities and didn't ever receive affirmative action. You are very presumptuous.

you're a bunch of hysterical animals that hate your lives and project your terror onto everything around you

you've totally lost sight of the flow of life; you are totally ignorant of evolution in any form, even the evolution of DNA to make exactly what you are.

You have no vision, no idea, of how you came here to be like this.
This is what terrifies you. You are terrified because you have no context for anything, and you are terrified to learn better because you've been brainwashed to revile the symbols that lead to the truth.

And you blame it on anyone other than yourself.

This is the distinction between the soulless and the human.
This is what justifies your mass murder to your masters, which ironically you defend to the last breath.

Personally I think on some instinctual level your body has realized all this and is just begging for death regardless of how many good people go along with.
So you support the most insane policies and advocate the most meaningless ideas, because you don't care, you just want to shake things up in the hope that something external will rise out of the chaos to save you and save you the trouble of being calm and honest.

Either way, you're all probably going to be exterminated.
Your best chance is with the racial nationalist movements - form an identity based on what you actually are and use the strength of your race-family to negotiate a niche in the world.

Or just keep begging a monolithic worldwide jewish supremacist authority for a couple more dollars an hour, which you don't fucking save anyway, to build a life to insulate yourself for just one more hour, just like every other retarded rat.

how do you know why they were hired or how they got approved for their housing and car loans?
you realize that that they were allowed to immigrate is affirmative action right?

>assumptive
meant to say presumptuous*
I made an embarrassing typo like that because I am tired.

There are legitimate reasons to dislike Jews, but it seems that yours are entirely emotionally based. You do realize that you would be completely useless to a fascist movement beyond being cannon fodder?

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You think and talk like a dumb Southern hick or something. They were educated minorities that came and gave this more country more than you ever gave them or me. Are you an Americunt?

>this more country more
this country more*

>doesn't answer the question
>freaks out
let it sink in
its the truth

now get out before we kill you all

I did answer the question, you boorish neocon shit stain. They were already educated and didn't get any exclusive benefits relative to Whites, and they didn't go on welfare. They worked their asses off just like everyone else.

lol way to lose gracefully you rotten kike

their proportion of positions of power in key institutions are not disputed, you can trace every communist policy to its inception in their religion, and it's all recorded and in english because they translated all their books to teach jews in the US

they got into the country because of affirmative action to begin with

they were hired because of affirmative action

you are alive because of affirmative action and you will crumble into the dust simply from us taking it away from you
but that's not enough
you have to burn, you wretched thief, you lying demonic beast

They didn't really get benefits of affirmative action, and they worked hard alongside both Whites and other minorities, you fucking idiot. You think only Whites are capable of being architects, engineers, or nurses? Slit your goddamn throat.

Do you have some minefields to clean, landser?

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I named a main character after a randomly generated name I got from that AI that finishes your sentences into a few paragraphs. It's cool as shit and I'm still to this day really happy I randomly got such a great name.

they were let in, hired, etc. solely because they are nonwhite.
why do you want to be white so badly?
why do you come here?
why do you try to take a shortcut based on our success?

doesn't matter, you're guilty and you will be executed according to your unlearning animal nature

> solely because they are nonwhite.
They worked hard and gave this economy a lot. They were not given any leeway simply for differing race or not.
Ok, listen here, right now at this moment, I hate no one except you. You are a stupid uneducated peasant, and you need to shut the fuck. Both the White upper echelon or anyone else would abuse to you. I guarantee you there are White elites that would love to whip you around too. In fact, I would love to see a White serial killer have his way with you.

Now shut the fuck up, you presumptuous faggot. My parents worked hard, much harder than you ever will, and I hope you genuinely die in some gruesome accident.

I'm writing a fantasy romance novel about a young knight and a tsundere warrior princess. He has always been in love with her and she not-so-secretly starts to like him. It's very light hearted and there's absolutely no sex, just blushing, cuddling, hand holding, etc.

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>would abuse to you
would love to abuse someone as dim-witted as you*

I'm not nearly as depressed as I used to be but it's just been replaced by constant anxiety in the back my mind that life really is worthless and that everything I do is just a distraction from that fact. I'm thinking of taking the ignorance pill and trying to actively avoid thinking about philosophy and life because it's probably a contributing factor to this. Unfortunately this is difficult because for most of my life I've prided myself on my (pseudo)intellect and desire to understand the world.

Read the Consolation of Philosophy

Positively based. Would read for comfy evening entertainment.

>my anecdote is greater than your mountain of data
ok, just try to realize that you are going to be consumed by a superior life form either because you can't admit the truth or won't

this is fucking retarded
why would you make this shit and show it to other people

you have absolutely no concept of reality, evolution, sexuality, or courtship

i wasted the summer away on classes instead of writing and reading
now i have a semester, two jobs and family obligations, and no time for anything ever

post more

If you were so superior, then how did Jews give such problems, huh? You, yourself, are a stupid piece of shit that cannot handle any NUANCE.

they stole our DNA, observed it, modified it, and injected an engineered organism into our society - the ashkenazi breed

for you they just used us to beat your stupid brown asses in because there's really no need for new technology to deal with you

our rebuttal will shake heaven

It's essentially a high school romance with 20-somethings. I'm deeply repressed so it's very basic.
Okay

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>our rebuttal will shake heaven

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you are only diving deeper into repression by doing things like this

if you must write, you must be far, far more abstract to reach truth.

You have a grandiose self-image. You are on the low-end of the bell curve for your race, and your own upper elites would treat you like the trash that you are. I think it would be a very cool if you were to piss off some members of the White upper echelon, and as a consequence, they decide to execute you. It would be funny to watch your reaction.
Or what we would be funnier to watch is you get some kind of needed surgery, and the surgeon turns out to be a non-White who succeeds. I bet you would still be a narcissist then.
I have a question for you: Why don't you commit suicide? Surely heaven awaits all White men? Kill yourself and find heaven. This world isn't good enough for someone as great as you.

>will just be a slave to whoever wins no matter what, for ever and eternity
you have time to choose the right master

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The world is beyond fucked with illness, degeneracy, corruption, natural destruction. What's the point of living if you're not hedonistic?

I feel like we're kindred souls user. Do you use discord by chance? I think I'd enjoy talking with you.

Connection

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well, it's not going to get better for you where you are now, so you have no choice.

It's 6am, I'm about to brush my teeth and go to bed.
I know I'll have bad dreams. I was hoping it would rain, so the sound could lull me to sleep, but it's just overcast, with the humming of cars.
I also really regret posting this. I hate having written it.

Sure, but all the things I listed affect your ability to find connection, and the society that you and your loved ones live in.

It genuinely upsets me how many people on this website think "STEM" is an acceptable shorthand for the sciences when it's nothing more than a glib marketing term the US academic establishment cooked up in the past decade to push things like common core math and diversity-oriented coding camps. Just say you're an engineer or a programmer or whatever, don't define yourself or your field of study by an acronym they use to sell knockoff Rubick's Cubes to gullible parents who think a plastic toy will be their baby's ticket into MIT.

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I am 24 and starting University this month. Just today the thought of actually doing it is making me feel sick. I dont usually have social anxiety but i suppose thats what it is. I just suddenly feel stupid or like some else has led me here. I didnt go to uni when i was 18 because i wanted to work, so why leave work after 6 years to get a worthless degree? what the fuck was i thinking? just because i like reading books doesnt mean i need a literature degree. i dont want to back out before i even start because i’ll just look and feel like a dick. 3 years. just thinking about that, in education for 3 years, makes my stomach turn. i feel stupid. Any mature students out there can share their thoughts?

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Better late than never. Good luck user :)

please read l’homme qui dort
you will love it

I entered the university and don't want to study but if I don't then I have to have military service and die in poverty without job. I don't know what to do with my life. I can't study, can't work, can't make friends. I have nothing but permanent suffering.

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Moved to a new town about two weeks ago. It’s been a nice change from LA, although money is still tight. I’m worried about making ends meet while still pursuing my passions. But there’s good company here. It’s hot.

Laziness, mainly the fear or hatred of discomfort will end in my early death if I don't do something about it.

I'm also 24 and have been working and going to community college on and off since high school ended. I got my grades up and will be transferring to university in the spring to study history. I'm just going for it because it's something I really want to do. I'm actually really excited and hopeful for the next couple years even if many people would say it's not a good subject choice.
If studying literature is something you really want to do then you should jump in and make the most of it. Try to get out there and meet a lot of people, too. Check out your school's literature club and things like that.

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When I read this, I hoped that I could read deeply into this by thinking you were talking to yourself.

Godspeed, user. I’ve started to think that the best thing one can do with life is to create things, if there’s a grain of truth in the saying “made in the Lord’s image”. I certainly feel more at ease when making things, but waiting to be in a creative mood and weighing their worth at the end is the disappointing part. There’s not enough time to do all I want. Maybe I’m spread too thin, or maybe there’s not enough sleep in my day. I just want to bring things to life. Drawings, paintings, 3D models, pixel art, T-shirt designs, the book I want to write, and so on.

Currently having a dilemma. The thought of working 8 hours a day in the future whether I am a lawyer or janitor sounds awful. I've recently gotten my first formal job and it's awful. Even working just part-time while in school. I have planned to go to law school for a long time, but...

I am simply unhappy working for or with other people. I have only finished a few years of school and with a couple years of working full time at any slightly-higher-than-minimum-wage job it would be possible for me to pay off my existing student debt and save up enough to buy a plot of nearly property tax free land somewhere. There I could build my own cabin, and live off the land to an extent, although I'd likely still have to go into town every once in a while to buy some cheap food in bulk to cook, considering the winters where I live.

The dilemma is that if I stay in school much longer, it will extend the amount of years I'd have to work to pay off student loan debt, and by doing that I'd essentially have to become a lawyer or something else to pay it all off, and my dream of living simply would be completely impossible. I could never just move to a cabin in the woods and live any kind of legal life, because of the debt. The age of exploration and discovery is over and now we live in another long era of serfdom, despite being told how free and equal we are.

I don't know what to do. Indecision could lead to suffocation by debt though. I'm just so tired of this life. Some nights I feel genuinely terrified by my own thoughts. I feel trapped in a way no one in common life seems to understand. I feel the only freedom is suicide or taking this chance, but I don't know if it's even possible. I just want to get away.

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i wish
i was
a woman.
darn it.
fucking men.

Had a nice weekend with the gf. Now, back to the salt mine!

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Can't sleep tonight for some reason, was going to get up two hours from now anyways so I guess I'll just sit here

Today was one of those days where everything went just about as well as you could hope but I still felt horribly depressed and like a failure at the end of it
I mean I have a lot of generic problems like being completely unfulfilled in life just treading water going nowhere but it really doesn't help when even things that should bring you some small sense of joy and respite don't especially when they're so few and far between
Just that feeling of "I should be happy so why am I not" has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world

I have no idea what to do with my life. I want to create and spread joy but I don't know how. I enjoy art, and would like to be an artist, but I feel like I lack the concentration and drive to become truly great at anything. In all honesty, I feel like the logical conclusion to my life is a bullet in my head. I just can't seem to bring myself to that point, yet.

Is the English translation adequate?

no.

>tfw realizing all my normie friends I used to think were cool and had it together are actually kind of lame and have messy lives
the grass isn't greener I suppose. still like them though.

Was reading a thread about the whole Straight Pride parade in Boston. The details don't really matter but it really made me think just how quickly attitudes towards lgbt people have changed, around 2013, majority disapproval turned to approval almost overnight. I don't think that most people realize the actual ramifications this has had and will have on society.

Ive always been an optimist but as I enter adulthood proper, my past and future tortures me. This melancholy...where is it coming from? I need the grace of God.

You need a giant dick in your ass

you have no idea the reasons for any of these things because you don't question yourself hostilely/masculinely enough

Man, lit sure is depressed.

The framework for my personal "Five Year Plan" is coming together. I think it will be workable, but a lot could go wrong and it won't be easy

how do I stop being a cumbrain?

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Play chess

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Absolutely based.

stop watching porn

Stop watching porn and don't count the days you are away from it because each day you count is a day you remind yourself of your addiction

how do I stop being annoyed knowing every historic west euro city is filled with nogs pissing and shitting on all the historic streets and monuments

how do i stop being weirded out by the instinctive selfishness, lack of self awareness, and lack of theory of mind that oogabooga immigrants seem to have?

Did you consider that maybe you *should* be annoyed?

I cannot get over how shockingly dumb people are. Or more specifically how simultaneously ignorant they are *while being completely convinced that they understand everything*. Infuriating. And when people do actually learn something they just internalize whatever was told to them without thought, so they don't really end up learning anything as much as adding another unjustified claim to their conversational repertoire. I probably do all the same things but at least I try to be vaguely aware of it and remind myself of the vastness of my own ignorance.

Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Please, don't forget to pay the debt.

Kek

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kek

is that chess.com?

>I think
That's where you went wrong, kiddo.

Yeah

Ballsdeep

I think this girl I've seen multiple times at work just might be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She literally looks like a Hellenistic statue. But she's probably several years younger than me and already taken by Chad.

It's just not fair bros. I want a qt gf RIGHT. NOW!

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Just go ask her bro. You miss all the shots you don't take

try killing a few

I work a wageslave job. I'm not going to ask anyone out while they're in the middle of ordering their lunch.

The cutoff ages for running for president should be 35 and 70, way too many ancient people running this year

That sounds like a really dumb thing to do."

I could be wrong. But it sure seems like a lot of people do it.

There are several other ways to get laid off: being caught smoking or not drinking enough; not following the company's rules; going back to school; being drunk; or quitting your job when it's your last day (again, depending on the company). Many of these things require a "disqualified employee" letter. Most don't actually require a letter at all.

And most of the companies that don't require letters aren't hiring anybody from those categories right now. So what's going on?

It's true, most of these employees get laid off due to business reasons. It'll likely take a while to figure out why, when, why…

A few examples of reasons workers often get laid off:

Business changes

To those of you that believe that this thread constitutes proof of this claim, I'd like you to just read the entire original thread. The fact that it's not a "conversation" is not only irrelevant, it's insulting to anyone that genuinely believes in the proposition of "everyone learns at least once". It should be a pretty obvious rule that the only real reason you believe something is because you've seen it and know how to make use of it, not because you actually know a thing that no one else *knows*, and even if every single person is completely ignorant of it

btfo

I'm joining the armed forces, the only thing that I'm hesitant about is the fact that it'll probably make it hard for me to get a girlfriend (of course). Thinking about it though I've been around girls for years and I've not managed to get one. I hope it's an opportunity that will mature and change me. I'll do my best; I just hope that I'll get to read in the evening sometimes.

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what are you even saying?

Throw away your thesaurus, nigger. Learn how to use words properly without sounding like word salad.

I want to kiss Joan Crawford on the lips. Well not now since she's a corpse, but when she was young and beautiful.

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you're a pseud but here's a good piece on postmodernism and cancel-culture
isr.press/Callout/index.html

My thoughts for the last few days are circulating around the topics of being average/unique/intelligent etc.
So i think that u dont have to be any of that to be seen as that. u dont have to be intelligent to be percieved as intelligent and etc. its all about how u talk and really its all there is.

So I think that the real goal if u want to be seen as lets say intelligent is too learn how to deal and talk to people to perceive you that way. Its kind of heartbreaking that most people I have met were simply good at talking and there is only small group that is really special albeit would they really care about that
what do u think?

Thinking about taking the buzzpill

It is infuriating how horrible of a speaker I am. I can articulate fairly well in writing, but fumble like an 80 IQ retard when put on the spot—even about the simplest of topics. I’ve pathologized this and now I rarely speak unless directly asked to. Tips to help a processing speedlet?

Just slow down, add in extra pauses. Let the other person talk more and listen

I'm going for a nightly walk, and when I get back in, I'm going to say how it went.

based, bees are cool

A beggar for people’s attention, as reliant on others as supply is on demand—that’s me. I can’t help it. Yet I wish it wasn’t so.

There’s other things I like, of course. Mindlessly entertaining myself, whether through books, through art, through film—or, of course, (I can’t stall any longer) through the pornucopia that is the World Wide Web—is plenty fulfilling. But it’s not addicting in the same way that hearing someone who in my eyes is fundamentally superior to myself showing me just how much they care about me.

A few examples, chosen not by their eloquence, but rather by the intensity of what they made me feel:

“You’re…you’re someone different. I’ve never met anyone quite as special as you.”

“You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

“I love talking to you! I look forward to hearing your voice all day.”

“I’m so excited to see you next weekend. I could never get tired of you.”

(Fuck. This much foreplay makes me hot and horny. Keep jerking me off please, more compliments and more recognition and MORE—MORE—MORE, please this lets me define myself as an individual, lets me see myself as a person and not a breathing hulking disgusting decaying rotten vessel, and god do I want to CUM now. Just let me inside of you; let you inside of me. Make me whole. Make me someone like you. That’s all I want. To be you, and not me. To be anyone but me.)

When this attention stops, I cease to exist. I become me around others; without them, I’m nothing. Whether it’s a text never responded to or a call never returned, the nails of all those who I’ve fantasized being pierce my beating heart. They are people who exist without others, unlike me. They move on. They get too busy to respond, too caught up in life to remember me. I don’t. I always remember them. Hell, I think ONLY of them. And even when I appear on the surface more successful than them, even more of an individual than they are, it is only ever in a frenzied attempt to be like them and transcend my own wretched self, always tying myself to this person or that. I learn to love others’ smiles, their laughs, their quirks not because I love THEM but because of how it makes ME feel real.

To what extent am I a dependent mess, forever the side character in another person’s story, leeching off of them for affirmation until there’s nothing left, and to what extent am I merely human? Merely a social animal who needs others to define themselves, to even begin to understand who they are? How much of me is healthy? How much is broken beyond repair? I don’t know. All I know is that, for me, all conversation is just another form of sex, and, fittingly, I experience premature ejaculation during it, too.

Wow you are my exact opposite. I spend most of my time alone and compliments of any kind make very uncomfortable. I like attention from certain people at a certain time, but organizing your life around it like you life dependent on it? Fuck. Can’t relate at all.

whats it all for, anons?

Been stopping to look at the bees lately. They're so nice. I've noticed that the more you appreciate bugs, the more bugs of other kinds you'll start to notice. It's like they're gradually accepting you into their hidden kingdom.

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I wish I was more like you. It sounds very peaceful. I actually used to be, probably because I was in an environment where I didn't really "look up" to anyone else whether intellectually or emotionally. Just a shitty public school. I made my dream come true and got into a top 5 school in the US but it had the frightening consequence that I finally really, truly clicked with people on a level I never had before because I found others who were on the same wavelength as me. But, unlike them, once I found those people, I found that I never ever ever want to let go, not even for a moment of the day, because I crave so intensely the validation of people who I perceive as genuinely interesting/fascinating/movers and shakers/etc. And while they enjoy talking to me and frequently initiate conversation day after day like any close friends would, I know they don't feel anywhere near as intensely about our relationships as I do. They don't define themselves through their relationship with me like I do with my relationships with them. I've realized I'm just as "head over heels" for platonic friendships where I admire/envy the other person as I am for romantic interests.

How do you go about your romantic interest? How do they differ?

This is how a lot of new species are first documented. If you go into your backyard there are probably thousands of unstudied bugs just waiting to be found. If you have a university or entomologist you can contact, you might even get to name some.
And bees are very neat. They dance to talk to each other :3

Sounds like BPD.

>early morning
>sleepy, rushed, and groggy
>mid day
>chill, enlightened, productive, want to write
>enslaved at cubicle farm
>get home
>pissed off, feel physically gross and dirty, exhausted and hungry, irritable, just want to go to bed
>repeat
Fuck this shit. How do you write while fulltime wageslaving? I can't even scribble on a notepad without my faggot coworkers seeing and giving me shit. Shit like this makes me want to blow my brains out. I've only written novels while working part time or unemployed. While working I can't even do a short story, I'm miserable and irritated. All my free time is blown on stupid shit trying to forget my woes.

At least I can do audiobooks while working. If I couldn't even read I'd have no reason to live at all.

I want a platonic friendship where I can embrace them rapturously. I'm scared of relationships, but I'm overwhelmed with longing. When it gets the official label I become scared and thrash around like a man hung by his neck.

join the club. i'm miserable at work despite the job itself not being difficult. it just feels like i'm wasting away, and i don't have the willpower to escape the rat race.

you have nothing worth a shit to communicate anyway you stupid fucking subhuman drone

UUUHHHHHH its soooooo opporessssiivvve going to my jooooobbbb but i keep doing it because i want to WHHHHHYYYY UGGGGGHHHHHHH

you can't make anything out of that
you are a fucking nigger with no creative potential

>projecting

Damn I hate that I know this feeling. At some points in my life I have even confused platonic for the romantic. I'm a little better now, but tonight I've been reminded of this deviation in me when talking to a friend about very real things. It disgusts me how base these feelings could lead me into acting when unchecked.

Wrong
Illiterate swine

how do i become enlightened? I want to somehow get to the Indian and Greek philosophy

People who lose function of their visual cortex not only lose sight but also lose all visual memory.

I just met a really cute English girl in one of my classes
I’d like to pull her hair and kiss her neck but my fiancée would probably not like so much

In my youth, the last year of school before University, I fell in love with a girl. My love for her was even more irrational than most teenage loves, and I believe it was also more intense, but I saw beauty not just in her, but in my love for her, and so I continued loving her, although this was not a choice. She dominated my thoughts and emotions, both in the last year I ever saw her and after, and, although I always was aware of an element of psychological self-deception, I now know that it was because in her I personified beauty and perfection, and so every pursuit of beauty or perfection led to her, as all roads lead to Rome. When I listened to beautiful music, or encountered beauty in nature, she would arrive at the front of my mental stage and remind me that I would never have her. This, as you can imagine, led to some deal of unhappiness - as you can imagine, because I physically denied myself the ability to ever see beauty in person once I left for University, and could only catch fleeting, watery glimpses of her in my dreams, which only left me thirsting for the more real and more potent liquor...

>pornucopia
stealing that word

you sound like a mentally ill pessoa

People who are into that inspirational shit need to be shot. A lot of the problems are brought about by capitalism. It's fucking disgusting. It's pathetic porn so people can feel good but do absolutely fucking nothing. Sure, you donated a dollar. Do you think that does anything, you fucking moron? Shooting a CEO would do something. Starting a revolution would do something. No, that's too radical, right? Haha, everyone should just protest peacefully, right? Let the agents of the bourgeoisie just smack people around with chemicals that are outlawed for war crimes. Let them beat the shit out of people. They deserve it, right? Haha. Sit down and grow up!

I'm so sick of it all.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That community sucks

Just google literary agent you fucking idiot.

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superficial, its been said again and again and it never connects because everyone who talks like you has absolutely no purpose by which to judge their behavior, so you always bellyflop on the description and it never even occurs to you to propose a solution (mostly because you're a coward who precludes interaction with reality)

>smack people around
what's wrong with that
what exactly are you doing that they're interrupting?

i'm all for killing jews and their capitalism, but not alongside retards like you who have absolutely no idea what you are doing on this planet.
you are motivated purely out of spite and jealousy

Thinking about turning this into a short story

>at a track meet in 8th grade
>400 meter race
>starting gun fires, I immediately turn around and start running in the wrong direction
>I hear people shouting, the gun fires again for a restart
>I keep running, maintaining immaculate form and pace
>confused shouting gets louder
>I come towards the finish line surrounded by confounded bystanders and I pump my fist in celebration as I charge past the tent, in first place
>walk up to the table and take a blue ribbon, and pin it to my shirt
>I walk away from the track and field into the parking lot as all my fellow runners and everyone in the bleachers stare at me in shock and confusion, I can’t contain my pride
>2 months later I’m in my house with a beautiful woman I met at school, I lead her up to my bedroom
>pull back a curtain to reveal a board behind a glass case with all my blue ribbons pinned to it, 36 in all

Based Holy Nation Greenlander poster

Some people are simply born with talent.

I have just barely begun to try writing -- mostly for my own gratification but of course there's a small hope for something to come of it. I just looked back at my senior paper about hedonism from a few years back. I remembered it somewhat fondly but my goodness is it a disaster. I am not a good writer and I am not as self aware as I like to believe and this realization has left me very dejected.

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No one starts good, dumbass.

Not even books can fill void in my heart. I feel like im in a dark room without any orientation and star in the horizon.

I’ve been told by two unrelated girls that I remind them of Ted Bundy. I looked up an image of him and they’re right. Should I stop wearing sweaters or should I embrace it?

Danbooru really needs a 'god i wish that were me' tag.

I want to finish reading Plato so I can start and finish Aristotle (concluding the Greeks, for now), then Resume with the Romans, then select periods and essential books up until today. There are so many books I can't look forward to reading but I need to take it one slow step at a time. I enjoy the books along the way but I also enjoy imagining what books I'll read down the line too but they're so far away.
I ought to get back to learning Italian as well but Chinese has me occupied.
Meanwhile all of my friends have girlfriends or are getting there. I'm only 20.

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It makes me angry when people say they like animals but still eat meat. It's one of the reasons I became a vegetarian. Goddamn.

Glow harder

>20
Dont neglect your social life, user

Is it worth it

Its worth to try and find it whenever you actually like it or not

I like humans, I'd still stab a cunt if need be.

Nah just keep a close friend or 2, anymore and its just meaningless drivel from associates and acquaintances coming at you endlessly about whatever the fuck the normals are pleasuring themselves about currently.

I'm so stressed and uncertain.
I left a girl that I'd been casual with because she was telling me to commit or split. I hated making future plans with her and she always initiated the sex.
I've been so miserable the past couple of weeks though, my head's in a spin.
I left to travel around Europe to try and clear my head but all that's happened is I feel more isolated and alone.

Do I have any right to feel sorry for myself if I was the one who left?

Christians are both cruel and stupid. One Sunday, years ago, the pastor was giving a sermon about sin or whatever and shared a homily from his life. I can't remember the story, but it involved finding his elementary school age son hiding in his room after the pastor beat him for some reason. The child was rolled up in a ball in the corner of the room crying, while telling himself that he was going to be all right. The pastor yelled at him. He laughed at the lectern and tied this back into how we are all disobedient in the eyes of God or something stupid like that. Naturally, the child is a homeless addict now but he of course deserves it for abandoning his father. The pastor says that his children hate him because he's such a holy man that they are the devils main targets. Such a cruel and stupid man, I'm amazed that anyone gives him the time of day. Of all the hundreds of people I've ever met, he is the only one that I can feel confident in labeling evil.

(This is also the man that convinced my grand father to commit a kidnapping. Goddamnit, rural americans are the stupidest people on the planet. They trust those who want to hurt them, and distrust people who could actually help them)

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Have any of you read Maurice Maeterlinck's book on bees? I remember someone recommending it on here a while ago.
>pull back
Sounds like it would be better as a short film than a short story.

Cool story, bro.

you think I made it up?

I'm strangely bothered by how the media is interpreting the new Joker movie. Normally I wouldn't care, it's just a movie and all that. And there's nothing new about how the media politicalizes everything with their shitty anti-white male blather.

Wha bothers me is the reactionary character of these critiques. Anything that might challenge or expose the existing order is written off as the convulsions of deluded incels. It's a form of victim blaming, but it's ok because it's done to the demographic which is acceptable to vilify.

By declaring the movie to be a rallying cry for incels, the media is subverting the larger narrative aspects of the film about broader themes of rampant alienation, social abuse, and isolation driving many men insane. Nobody wants to acknowledge that horrible crimes have social roots, and aren't simply the personal responsibility and moral failings of a single agent. No man is an island.

the outrage seems particularly manufactured for this movie

I want a nice stable life where I make enough money to cover all my basic expenses and fund my hobbies. I want a traditional wife who realizes the vanity of modern society and can appreciate the finer things in life. I want to be at peace with myself and the world that has callously thrown me aside. I want to feel like I'm part of something greater than the misery I currently reside in. I want direction. Sadly, it seems like the biggest obstacle to all of this is myself. My own habits and thought patterns are insurmountable.

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They give special consideration to those who have referrals.

examples? I want to see proles' brains being astroturfed in real time

Zizek is right.

it's pretty funny that the idpol has got so bad with the libs that they're unironically repeating old conservative feels about violent media.

But yeah "this movie is too *twisted* to be shown" is clearly functioning as a marketing tool, I would not be surprised at all if their team was deliberately agitating "woke" spaces about how dangerous it is

That picture made me cackle. Thank you.

I don't understand where this fixation on incels has come from. There's been like, one or two clearly incel-motivated terrorist attacks in the past few years and now every shooter is labeled as one. The word has just come to mean "bad person" apparently. Like I remember there was a guy who killed his girlfriend and was branded an "incel psycho", how the fuck does that work?

I dunno, but I bet this gayass site has a lot to do with keeping the meme alive.

It's the only acceptable target for bullying left.

>shitty anti-white male blather
Well, you're finally starting to experience how a certain overly vilified minority feels. Maybe if you people didn't gobble up Jewish propaganda 24/7, you would have more friend that sympathized with your plight.
>it's ok because it's done to the demographic which is acceptable to vilify.
Whites aren't the only demographic being vilified. All it takes is a little bit of honesty and integrity to realize others are dealing with the same shit of "global image being tarnished".

How about the Jews, how do you think they feel?

you are a coward

Oh stfu. Jews don't receive enough negative attention for their vile actions. Jews are over the top with their vileness. Literally no other race, including blacks, reaches the level of Jewish vileness. It's literally an ethnic supremacist cult of "kill all goys now!"

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These two reviews are probably the most egregious examples.

time.com/5666055/venice-joker-review-joaquin-phoenix-not-funny/

rogerebert.com/reviews/joker-movie-review-2019

Although Twitterspace is also reeling.

People are fascinated by sexuality and the relations between the sexes and its influence on people's motivations. Incels are an appropriate bad guy to contrast with ascendant feminism. An ideology without opponents falls apart, loses cohesion. So that's why they constructed this enemy.

As if the media does anything but venerate nonwhites.

Jeffrey Epstein was allowed to live in society for 14 years after he was discovered to possess and regularly use a video of a six year old girl getting brutally raped.

Thinking about death a lot. Not suicide, but just death in the abstract I guess. It's processes and so on and so forth.

Anyway I'm depressed. How are you guys?

Yeah, Jews aren't criticized enough by media. In fact, their crimes tend to be hidden or white washed.
>As if the media does anything but venerate nonwhites.
You are a self-victimizing and narcissistic faggot who lacks all integrity, honor, and honesty. You are no different than kikes in your lack of capacity to sympathize with other races. Eat shit, faggot. You make enemies out of everyone and then feign innocence. I can write BOOKS about how my fucking race was totally tarnished and vilified by both you and Jews. You still won't stop doing it either. I'm not interested in being your friend anymore either. I just want to be left alone and isolate myself further from ALL of you.

It's not like there isn't lots of internet misogyny and disgruntled incels with some that have a desire for violence. But the media has taken the phenomenon and enlarged and embellished it, turned it into a bogeyman. Because it suits the victim mentality around which today's perverse power structure is built for there to be evil incels lurking in the shadows. When actually incels ought to be pitied for suffering in such a tragic condition.

Intrepid and determined. I've gotten the smallest whiff of freedom and I'm holding onto it with all my might

>You are a self-victimizing and narcissistic faggot who lacks all integrity, honor, and honesty.
Stay triggered brownie.

I'm am so sick of this shitty meme. Take what you can fucking get and be happy you've got anything.

I'm not brown, snow nigger. Have fun being eaten alive by Jews, narcissistic faggot. You deserve the kikes and everything happening to you. Consider it justice for your hubris.

can /pol/niggers please get the fuck out of the thread

thinking about writing something clever to get some (You)s and having a conversation with an user to unfold my traumas. but i am not smart or intelligent to write something clever. i don't understand why do we always talk about ourselves? it's always(me, i, me, i..) same old repetitive patterns in every single conversation. it's all so predictable. i think i am acting like a frustrated teenager. as i am approaching my mid twenties i feel like i haven't matured a bit.

If it's any consolation, I feel the exact same way.
You are (not) alone

That's good user. Hope it all works out.

I haven't watched porn for a couple weeks and my mental state is noticeably improved

ive read two books suggested here (brothers k and atlas shrugged) and both had disappointing endings

Same except I feel like shit. Don't think it has anything to do with the porn I just feel like shit.

I want to jump early on the Gen-X hate train.

FUCK DFW
FUCK KURT KOBAIN
FUCK YUPPIES
FUCK JON STEWART
FUCK MTV

I don't care about boomers or zoomers, or xoomers, or loomers. I want to physically strangle ever person born between 1970 and 1990, just squeeze the life out them

wow, zoomers sure are aggressive aren't they

The reality is that vaccination is bad and leads to a society becoming cretinized because health of the immune system correlates with neurological health. It is normal for kids to die at birth from weak immune system, it's called genetic winnowing. Now we have population boom where most idiots would not have survived without vaccination. If you know for certain you wouldn't have survived without vaccination and believe in progress, then I sincerely recommend suicide. Vaccination is the number 1 way a society destroys itself.

Kys, doomer

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honestly the dumbest thing I've ever read on this site, please go contract smallpox and get back to us

fuck your "irony"
go watch a music video
xoomer

"What if my dad literally loved me"

Think on that one

Think on this too

"What if my parents never got divorced"

The reality is, you're the dumb piece of shit. We have more people than ever, but like you, most of them don't truly exist or experience life in any meaningful way. This is most likely due to neurological deficits. Babies died in large numbers at birth because they were not fit enough, and this served as genetic winnowing. Now, you allow such babies to live, and it leads to growth of depraved scum like you.

"What if my mom didn’t raise me alone"

7thhh warrddddd
7th ward

>”irony”
Fuck DFW... hah

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lmao, how much a brainlet do you have to be to not only buy into retarded darwinist arguments but also to believe the disease burden prevented by vaccination would only fall on "unfit babies" and not, say, the whole fucking population.

I reiterate, please go contract smallpox. You'll be totally fine (other than the permanent scarring and possible blindness), after all you must be one of the ones to "exist and experience life in any meaningful way", right :^)

Immune system health correlates with neurological health. Children who are born with healthy immune systems and can ward off disease, will most likely turn out smarter and stronger as adults, on average.

>ward off disease
ward off illness and disease*
Most human beings in this era are trash and would have died at child-birth for good reason. In fact, one cannot even argue they exist.

Infinity is real, you just have to define it.
It is best to think of it in terms of an abstract process. First imagine a single cubit (perhaps visualized as a single piece of paper), then include another cubit and another so on to infinity. We will call this the natural infinity.
Now, instead of starting at the first cubit, start at infinity going off in the reverse direction. Infinity has doubled in size. We will call this dual infinity.
For comparisons to numbers, the positive integers form a natural infinity. If you include the decimals from 1 -> 0, then that would be the dual infinity.
Visualize a crystal with infinitely many facets. Shining through each separate facet is another infinite crystal. This would be infinity multiplied by itself. The process could be exponential producing greater and greater sizes of infinity.
Adding by infinity is tricky, because it determines on how you define the set. It could be either Infinity in addition to that amount, or included in the Infinite set itself.
If you multiply a number by infinity, it is taking groups of that number an infinite amount of times and adding them together. 3 x Infinity or 5 x Infinity are both Infinity, a limitless sum.

If you divide 1 by infinity, it procures an infinitesimal. The subsequent infinitesimal times infinity is 1.
We can use rough approximations in probability calculations. We will be missing the absolute proportions we would have if we were looking at the sets themselves and comparing them, but it should suffice.
If there are an infinite number of points on the dart board, the probability of hitting one is 0.0...1%, and the probability of hitting any of the others in contrast to that is 99.99...%. If half are blue and half are red, there is a 50% chance of hitting either.

Try and think of infinity as potential.

I swear to God I started this trend of posting pics of her.

If it makes you feel any better, your writing is beautiful.
Fuck alcohol man. It will ruin me if it hasn't already.

I've been listening only to classical like a retard. What are some albums to get me back to normal music?

Demon Days, Awesome mix no.1, Blue album.

>everything is the juden

I want /pol/ brainlets to leave.

>Meet a girl on tinder
>in my room watching a movie, the mood heats up
>I take off my shirt
>Forget that I have a huge swastika tattoo on my chest
>Girl sees the tattoo, her eyes widen
>spinning kicks me in the stomach and runs out the door while I'm bent over gasping

Who was in the wrong? Are all of my one night stands doomed to end like this?

>spinning kicks me in the stomach and runs out the door while I'm bent over gasping
based, what's her number?

You need to have a wifebeater on under the shirt, and insist on keeping it on. Reveal the swastika to her as you cum. She'll be unable to resist its power then
thank me later

One of you should really come over sometime. I was just joking around before, honest. I can be very nice. We should have lunch together sometime.

where and when?

In the day when I am alone. It will be fun.

alright. when you see something glowing outside just after dark, it's probably me.

i am sad because i went on a date with a guy and he said he didn't read much and also wasn't that affectionate to me ):

-gril btw

>brothers k
Its unfinished book also aliosha has a good ending.

yeah i jizzin all ova dis bich yeah teachin su respek on did mufun ho

same here
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming

Just thinking about female feet and how can everything become a normalized object of sexual desire.

.t Jude

Its just a fetish.

>TFW you've had major depression for almost 10 years now and absolutely nothing in your life will improve in the future

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1. People don't lie only to deceive others, but to be believed by others.
2. Don't spend time around people who haven't been where you are.
3. Listening to Lil Ugly Mane is enjoyable.
4. Is purpose subjective? If it is subjective, then is it related to pleasure? If we live for a purpose, is this the same thing as deriving pleasure from fulfilling a purpose? We think of duty and purpose as objective concepts, but I think they are subjective.
5. R.D. Laing's psychiatry and logical knots are illuminating.
6. Existence is pretty intolerable.

>actually match girl on dating app
>pathetically spend 2 minutes trying to think of something funny but not tryhard, short but still distinct
>send it
>instantly unmatched, like as i hit the "Back" button right after clicking send i'm already unmatched

It doesn't bother me, it bothers me that it bothers me. I've sunk so low into not caring after all these years, I really genuinely do not care, this is not even cope I swear to god, I don't give a fuck and I'm honestly happy to be celibate forever. I'm only even doing this dating app thing because I know I "should," because I'll eventually mathematically get something if I strategically use it once or twice a week with the lowest investment possible. I really don't care. But the feeling on the inside is still a psychic shock of pure cringe, pure humiliation and failure.

I don't understand how my conscious, rational self can really not mind, but some animal self or child self interior to the conscious self feels gay cuck feelings I didn't give it permission to feel. I'm too much of a sensitive autistic pussy to do this kind of thing. I don't even like befriending normies because their social relationships seem too cynical to me. I only like hardcore autistic friendships where both parties Vulcan mind meld and always try to help each other out. I can't handle contexts where I'm on sufferance by default, merely tolerated. I'd genuinely rather be an incel. There's dignity in it. So why am I forcing myself to do it because I "should?" Because I think I'll be missing out on some stupid experience (of sex, dating? I don't even know) that's part of life? I don't like anything about it, I'm too depressed to even enjoy sex, I'm only doing it because I "should." So knowing this, why don't I actually stop and just give up completely?

dating apps are so obviously a terrible idea if you're not good looking, have interesting-looking hobbies, or most importantly do not have the normie neurotypical mindset. stop doing this to yourself

I know that and I definitely fit all those criteria. But the alternative is that I finally throw myself completely into never dating or having sex again. Which I'm totally fine with, on every level other than whatever unconscious level tells me "precisely because you're autistically 'totally fine' with that, you shouldn't do it."

you don't have to give completely up if you stop using dating apps. there's always some possibility (even if quite small) that you'll meet some IRL

I thought that getting a job and working would make me value my free time more and use it more effectively. 5 months of working and while I do value it more and it is more enjoyable, nothing has changed and I mostly just do nothing with it.

>it's physically impossible for me to experience young love now
>I'll never get to experience physical intimacy with a young woman as a young man
>I will never be the object of pubescent lust
>I will never be the object of a young girls fantasies
>I will always get second scraps and worn out women as partners
>I will always be second or third choice as partner
This hurts in ways that I can't really even understand.

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I think I heard some shit before about how man may marry, but it's better that he dont

just get an imaginary gf (2d)

embrace it

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The most meaningful way in which my deep platonic interests differ from my romantic interests is that I want to fuck the latter so badly that even porn ceases to arouse me at times—only fantasies of them can get me off once I’ve gone off into the deep end—whereas I have no sexual interest in the former and thinking of them in that way repulses me on a deep, visceral level. I also find that I respect my platonic interests whereas I have little to no respect for my romantic interests. Whereas I consider those who I desperately want to become friends with to be superior to myself, I usually consider those who I find romantic interest in to be “below” myself and find myself ghosting them, using them only for sex, and finding mild satisfaction in treating them this way (i.e., poorly). Not something I’m proud about in the slightest. I think it’s a way for me to trick myself into believing that I am at least more of a person/individual than a select few who I can degrade, sexually and emotionally, to make myself feel better.

I present myself as a cool "adventurer" who likes to hike and explore and travel, but in reality all of those things give my great anxiety.

Google NazBol playlists on Spotify
>Neutral milk hotel
>Jpegmafia
>death grips
>Prussian marches
Cheeky cunts

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>tfw "want a relationship" but only in the sense of that depicted in a romance anime
I wasn't made for this world

I will date you if I can have money. I am being honest, I will.

begone whore

I'm disliked by most of my colleagues. I have never truly been accepted and I have reoccurring suicidal thoughts.

Get off /trash/ and try talking to lonely girls in foreign countries.

Out of every site I use, this one probably uses the word "incel" the most. Talking to folks in foreign countries and they just say "what the fuck is an incel"

Tbh desu desu onions

My O’Harian, stream-of-consciousness whining ramble

Painters have all the fun, truly. What
can I even do? Attempt to fashionably jab
this hermaphroditic tongue, and depict vague
symbols of the self? I would rather paint. I would rather
a floating, murk-eaten garden bolt before my
mind’s eye. And with these paints, the instruments
of sorcery, magnify form onto page, the
cavern walls, the naked woman’s back.This poetry thing
is dead. It is dead like the paint in the styrofoam cup
of brownish water. Of my soul? Wave the brush
in it, aggressively, and mix your dandruff, sweat, love,
whatever! Splash in it, batter the waters!
O, to be a painter! The immediate face of the name
“Artist”, not the one to remind you of its fair role. Man
no one understands it. Ah, the poet, the screeching rainbow!
The bard, the golden flame, ah, goo lagoon! Painters man,
they get all the likes, and I just can’t fix an image so
precisely, beautifully... I have to tell it, I have to tell you
About it, but I will tell you truthfully and with style!

whore, kill yourself

No Asian femboy bf
Feels bad man

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I WANT TO LEARN CRYPTOCURRENCY. IM LOST.
AAAAAAAQAAA

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I miss Girardfag and his rants.

i can't believe i didn't make this post
unless i just did and forgot it
i dont have that pic saved to my computer though
so probably not

No kigu Gf(bf)
Feels bad

(Maybe I actually am just bi)
(Is internalized biphobia a thing)

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hold me user, i'm a sadgirl

I genuinely wish I could, I'm soooo touch starved

The West in the 21st century is incredibly emasculating, and I do t think that's a good thing

Just spew ecclesiasties at them
Bio bot detected

Ok. How much and how often?

i don't know who i am or what i want to present to the world and it really bothers me that i can't figure this shit out. i have so many shifting interests and can't settle on one. i'm 29. i should have an inkling. i should have this. instead, i don't. i waffle. i don't know.

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just started writing my first book a few days ago, a novella. writer's block's a bitch and don't even know how good it's gonna be in the end and if it's gonna be worth it to attempt to get it published

Good luck to the anons going through nofap (the fact that you give it a name as something out of the ordinary is disgusting in itself). You can appreciate beauty without sexual pleasure, actually, they're quite contradictory but can be mingled.

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same, i guess its just not meant for us.

You don't have your own sense of ideal, which is a very Aryan thing. To hold yourself as something and assert it, to see yourself as the masculine, as honest, as a Casanova, as a quiet artistic man. Whatever, theses are mere inter-boundary's between you in yourself and your outward presentation, or persona.

You find yourself between potential, and actual. Your ideal, and your innate, it is a reciprocative relation. For what is a man without ambition? It is what defines man beyond mere matter.

You shouldn't have to write for the sake of it, write because you enjoy it, write because you have something good. Writers block is just your brain doing other things. Do you have any idea how long it took Da Vinci to paint his works? Because he didn't give a damn and just did what he intuitively enjoyed.

I feel like my life is one of those arcade games that doesn't actually end but you just keep going for high score till some shit happens and you lose. Like, I know I'm gonna off myself one day, but I'm kinda just seeing how long I can hang in there for.

This thread is nearly full so I can be honest now. I'm currently writing a new holy book. It's supposed to synthesize all the various spiritual impulses of the indo-european peoples. I feel like I've been called by the heavens to do this. It is my holy task in this life. I will be guided by the Gods to reveal their glorious truth to the people, and I will set them free from the spiritual corruption that they have been suffering from. Right now, I just started, with an account of the Holy Fire creating the light that maintains the Night, and as of now, I'm waiting for the next revelations of the Gods on how they came to be. Right now, as I'm writing this, they've pointed me towards their origins, so I'm going to wait some more and then maybe write some more later on. Wish me luck

bro what the fuck is up with fetishization of self-inflicted pain like nigger please use your primitive quadrupedal brain to realize that if in fact you have gotten throughout life by getting assaulted mentally and physically it is not a good lifestyle to pursue or to put on a pedastal just because it is an easy cop out and a generally likable personality trait since a lower being invokes a sense of superiority in your peers and gives you an easy way into influential social circles bro you are not jewish you do not have a workable endgame at the end of the line apart from either or martyrdom or a betrayal that makes the fourth crusade look like a prank bro it should be and most melaninoids here will agree that it is possible to break out of the submissive mindset you carved into your skull throughout overuse of christian moral code and excessive sexual conditioning over exotic zipperhead stories filled with de sades moring coffee routines

nigger
just
breathe
air
air

had a dream there was a black dog fishing in the ocean with only his teeth. I watched jealously from the rocky cliff above

you can’t recreate the purity of dreams

doesn't he post? I know he did a few weeks ago

I've written some more, the Day was battling the Night, but the Day was without self control, so the Fire created a holy warrior known as the Savior. It defeated the Night, but the nothingness from which it came released as great dragon, who had chains that chained the Fire to time itself. The Savior has slain the dragon and created the universe, but it was too late for the Fire, which is now imprisoned by time. The only part of the holy Fire which remains resides in the sword of the Savior, and it's just been revealed to me that he will use this sword to seperate the body of the dragon into two entities: Father Sky and Mother Earth

every second of existence is suffering. i dont want to do things, but when i dont do the things i need to do i feel like shit. when i do the things i need to do i feel like shit. the only time i am relatively at peace is when im asleep but most of the time i cant because my anxiety about things that have happened or i imagine will or wont happen keep me awake.
fuck work, fuck school, fuck friends and fuck living, i want to lie down in my bed and be unconscious, preferably permanently.

yes, i am seeking help.

>chronic knee pain
>Carpal tunnel
Can't exercise like I used to
>Bad skin
>Uneven balding
>Bad eyes
>voice impediment
Ugly as hell
>College dropout
>Parents have resented me since I was ten
>Parents shun me for not believing their religion anymore, but it's stay with them or live on the streets
>Major depression since middle school
>KHV
>Butt of all my friends jokes
>Sleeping on anything but my back is incredibly painful
>Alcohol and pornography addiction
>Parents are going on a triumphant empty nest tour of Europe even though they can't even provide the absolute bare minimum level of care for their two children (my baby sister is an embarrassing thot and whore now)
>Turned down from military for knee injuries and history of depression

Seriously, there is no reason why I shouldn't kill myself. I'm only 23 right now and no aspect of my life can improve in the near or long term. Am I going to keep doing this in ten years, twenty years, forty years? I've already done the SSRIs and the CBT, and even if those worked, one of my numerous other problems would immediately erase all progress I made. Books on this? And suicide method recommendations?

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become wagie, develop a trade skill?
worst comes to worst focus on drawing for furries you might be able to buy a peice of bread in a year

I just ate stinging nettle soup. Think i have gluten allery. Now im very constipated after a weak of fatty half-diarrea.

Also just finished my novel and Im looking to publish it.

I allways take bottles of cider when I visit France and Southern Belgium. Save them for special occasiins. Best one's are from Bretagne.

Have you unironically tried to stop eating wheat/gluten/soja?

ooga booga me want tobacco
habit is a bitch

Replace the alcohol with a fixed amount of phenibut. It has all the same anti-anxiety effects, but leaves you with more presence of mind, and doesn't kill your liver.

As for porn, it's difficult. You don't grow out of it. You need to become more and more conscious of the fact that it's a false promise and doesn't deliver satisfaction, just increases dissatisfaction. If you're new to the idea of quitting, just start spacing out your wank sessions for longer and longer periods of time. Even adding a few hours between them will help.
But ultimately you need to learn to think of it as being as appealing as huffing paint.

>Sleeping on anything but my back is incredibly painful
Sleeping on my back is actually a goal for me. It's better for your posture.

I have celiac disease on both sides of my family, so this actually might help me
Phenibut,
I'll look it up

Based schizo. I think I have a similar complex; started hearing the voice of god for the first time clearly about a year ago. I think "god" is an evolved trait of some humans, a higher level of consciousness within ourselves.

I discovered I had a new fetish today

>Cute girl gets on bus
>She eats 7 different types of candy
>Imagine that she can sustain herself on synthetic sugary goo
>This is extremely hot for some reason

Sounds like the subject of an Essay in Roland Barthes' Mythologies.

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Bump