>Decide to read The Count of Monte Cristo
>Walk to my nearest Waterstones
>Weave through the thronging crowd of plebeians purchasing YA novels and romance literature aimed at women over 45
>Find my book, an art hoe lingers nearby; staring at the tasteful thickness of my volume
>Pretend to browse as she stands by waiting for me to strike up conversation
>Just as she gives up hope and begins to turn I barge past her causing her to stumble into a pile of books
>"The weak should fear the strong" I coldly state
>Slam my copy of the greatest book ever written on the counter
>The cashier woman makes an exaggerated effort to lift it and says "cor blimey"
>I glare back at her, mocking her pathetic attempt at breaking the ice
>"Would you like a bag dear?"
>NO!
>"H-Here you go dear"
>THANK YOU!
>On my way out of the shop I kick a small child and headbutt his mother
Decide to read The Count of Monte Cristo
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Holy fucking based
I wish all londonfrog threads were like this
So, Waterstones. Descent store? A tragedy? Are there any better alternatives? A burger wants to know.
Equivalent of Barnes & Noble
I actually lol'd. I'd love to read a novel about this guy.
>Are there any better alternatives?
No, unless you're in a town with a university then there'll be some family owned bookshops.
All it takes is a change of perspective
>in bookstore
>get a copy of the divine comedy from shelf
>go to counter where some tired looking early-20s guy is waiting for the shift to end
>thrust the book in his face
>"THIS is about HELL. Is that FUNNY to you?"
>he just stares at me
>walk out without paying for it and toss it into a nearby town center trash bin
Hyde?
>in hipster used bookstore
>pick out Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-philosophicus and the Word Virus anthology of Burroughs' work
>go to cash register
>qt 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 working the register
>those look like some good books!
>uh, yeah
>money exchanged
>I leave
>go to bookstore
>pick up the Count of Monte Cristo
>go to register
>aged woman squints at my book
>lmao wtf is this pleb shit, she says
>w-w-what, I stammer
>are you some sort of slow retard haha this is total trash, genre fiction for pseuds
>I begin sweating heavily
>she pulls a loudspeaker from beneath the desk
>hey everyone look at this faggot buying the Count of Monte Cristo
>everyone in store starts laughing and pointing
>I begin weeping and piss myself with shame
>sweat dripping from my pits
>sprint out of bookstore gushing fluids
>mfw I forgot to pay for the book
>the police are right outside
>cash register lady comes outside with loudspeaker
>arrest that pleb!
>police throw me into back of car
>go to jail
>call mommy to pay my bail
>she's busy with chad but she'll come by tomorrow
>get raped by large black man in meantime
Anyone else know this feel???
Holy based and countpilled
Thoroughly cringe and boringpilled
>t.Danglars
>she pulls a loudspeaker from beneath the desk
>hey everyone look at this faggot
Why people do this, god bunch of social beings that need to announce everything for everyone cause if they don't, it's like it has never happened, literally a woman
>wait, user, did you never did x?
>HEY GUYS user NEVER DID X
If you ever did this plese consider suicide (especially if you don't have a vagina)
ok virgin
one thing i hate is when a normalfaggot makes a shitty joke, and then someone new walks into the scene and they immediately retell the joke for them, or alternatively, when i make a joke in front of a normalnigger and then someone new approaches and the normalnigger tells them the joke i just made, but they completely botch the whole thing and make it unfunny. like, nigger just enjoy the present moment and stop trying to prolong everything. stop trying to squeeze everything dry.
>old fart blocking my ability to grab lolita by standing too close to the bookshelf
>tap him on the shoulder
>he turns around as I feign a punch, tell him to get the fuck out of my way or i'd smash his brittle body to dust
>as he scurries off I give him a rear knee kick to the back of the leg instantly taking him down to the ground
>boot him in the head with my steal toe and leave because they didn't have a copy
you really need to prolong your reproductive organ
>decide to read The Count of Monte Cristo
>enter local bookstore, walk over to the 'classics' shelf
>a screeching siren suddenly pierces my eardrums
>realize i've set off the literary lunk alarm
>otherwise plain-looking women with blue hair and horn-rimmed glasses drop their YA genrefics and glare at me
>start to sweat
>casually whistle and stroll over to the pyramid of stacked copies of "Becoming Michelle Obama" and pick one out
>they're still glaring, one is walking over with her $5 small sugarcoffee held up threateningly
>desperately glance around for the most unprounouncable author names in sight
>grab a copy of 'between the world and me'
>detection meter slides back to yellow
>sneak back to classics section and swap the covers with copies of The Count and The Ego and His Own
>pay for my camouflage and leave
>>Find my
based
kek
Anonymous, OP.
Author of the greatest thread of the day. Magnificent prose, extremely based.
>Go to bookstore
>Grab the complete works of HP Lovecraft
>Checkout girl is a qt negro
>I slide the book towards her
>She freezes as she reads the name
>Looks up at me, tears welling in her eyes
>I return the look
>Eyes as cold as the void
>Without breaking contact I open the book to The Rats in the Walls
>She looks at the page and tears begin to pour down her face
>"In some editions they changed the name" she says between sobs
>"Not this one" I reply
>It's too much for her
>She passes out
>I steal a bookmark from the counter and walk out
>Use the book to scare away some thugs on my walk home
t.
>not taking the Caderouse pill
>family owned bookshops
Feels good to have one in town even though the only interesting books are the old ones the give away for free.
kek
i mean, he was kind of based for murdering a jew
