I want to write a chick lit novel. What do you think of this start?

I want to write a chick lit novel. What do you think of this start?

Life sucks balls. You can medidate and go to AA meetings and eat a healthy breakfast and go to church. But it doesn’t change the fact. Life is bullshit piled upon more bullshit. That’s why I have cans for breakfast. Bavaria 8.6%. The breakfast of champions.
It’s Saturday, thank God, so I don’t have work today. I hate my job. I’m a mechanical engineer. Obstensibly. I’m not very good at it I think. But I do enough decent work to keep them satisfied. And then I can give my weekends over to Sweet Lady Alcohol. I guess alcohol is my best friend. Otherweise it’s Ciaran. And he’s pissing me off lately. He can’t stop whatsapping me inspirational memes. Ever since he joined NA that’s all I get from him. Honestly, I wish when he was still a crackhead.
I think about opening Tinder. Bad idea. Tinder is great if you want casual sex with degenerate trainwrecks. Not so great if you want a boyfriend. And I do want a boyfriend. It’s hard to admit but it’s true. I want to cuddle up to a nice boy and watch godawful American sitcoms like Just Shoot Me. But all my Tinder adventures end with me being railed under a bridge by some bearded guy who says his name is Jack but you don’t really know.

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It's trash. The writing style reads like a Twitter post, your grammar is slightly off esl and u misspelled too much

you have to actually read some books before you try writing them. you have no command of written english or how it should flow and talk exclusively in jarringly fragmented little sentences that probably sound cool in your head because you're imagining them being read by the narrator in some crappy female version of the movie fight club. read every day and try again in 10 years.

Absolute tripe. Do you think you're profound calling alcohol the breakfast of champions?

I’ll be your bf. I’m really shy but it’s only cuz I wanna touch you

I found it entertaining, but honestly you sounded like a guy trying to write a girl. In fact, it wasn't until you wrote "Not so great if you want a boyfriend" that I realized you were writing a girl.

The excerpt read a lot like an Delicious Taco's blog post. So if you were writing about being a degenerate guy, its fairly decent. But you completely missed the mark in terms of trying to sound like a woman.

Be my bf instead user. OP is a retard.

Garbage. Reads like a string of image board posts.

This is absolute thrash OP. ngl. You make me ashamed to be Irish.

Have you ever actually used Tinder?