The protagonist of the last book you read is now trying to assrape you. How fucked are you?

Simon de Montfort, am I fucked lads?

>Elizabeth Costello
>imokaywiththis.png

I could take Ishmael out

He got killed at the end, soooo.

Don Quixote... fuck me he's got a lance.

that guy from my diary, desu

it's wonderful, her name is Purity and she's a very nice young woman.

The Colonel from Across the River and into the Trees. Is that before or after he kills himself?

Daniel from The Man Who Folded Himself
I'm actually surprised that I'm his type. I thought he only fucked himself.
I literally don't think there is anything I can do as if I even try to fight back another one of his future selves will pop into existence and either hold me down or have his own turn with me

I think I can handle a 4'2 dwarf with a hump and no neck even if he can do acrobatics

>severian

Well it's been fun lads.

>Faust
ew

Sup Patrocles

>leopold bloom
Eh he's sort of a pussy, i could probably shove him off
Or I could just mention Boylan and watch him start crying

>humbert humbert
I'm not really his type

>wasp factory
with that lil repressed clit of ““his““, i turned out lucky

Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment. I think I could handle myself

yeah, same here.

>tfw when he shoves terminus est up your ass

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>king lear
I'm faster than some old fuck

>Muad'dib is trying to assfuck me

How the fuck do you dodge an omniscient Arab on space cocaine?

>Jack Aubrey
I thought he didn't approve of that in the Navy?

>One of the time-and-dimension travelling gay sex magic pirates from Cities of the Red Night

My butthole is toast.

>Kafka Tamura
as easy as beating up a 15-year-old.

Him and Maturin do you at the same time, is that better?

That’s what he’d make you believe

same bois, looks like he’s not gonna have enough hands to excruciate each of us at the same time... i call dorcas doing me

>Marcel
SPREAD THEM CHEEKS FRENCHY

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It's gonna be Baldanders who's doing the raping. Or worse, Typhon.

I imagine dorcas as a blonde loli.

I always pictured her as Juno Temple.

See if we're on a ship, Jack wouldn't do it because it's a violation of the articles of war. If it's on land, then I'm safe since Aubrey is much more of a fuck up on solid ground.

>Diogenes
Probably pretty fucked, although he doesn't seem like one to rape

Let me position the rat first.

Getting raped by sylvia plaths self insert sounds hot. Do you think she'd femdom me?

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She'd act like she was proud to rape you, but secretly need you rape her back into childhood.

>Sabriel
Hold your jealousy, pals.

>Duc de Blangis
lel, but according to Sade he's a coward and would pussy out once anyone fights back.

I dunno user. He exercises a lot. Your best bet would be that his little jap dick can't reach your asshole or he asks for permission and you tell him no.

This book has no straight up protagonist, so I assume I'm gonna be raped by Rama itself.

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>A Feast For Crows
Doesn't really have a protagonist but I was reading a Cersei chapter when finding this thread so I'll choose to believe she'll try and rape me.

A nagoshi in bumfuck canada.damn.

>the dude from Hunger
i'll just blow on him a little harder than usual

Who's the protagonist of Sickness unto Death? Anti-Climacus? That's going to be the most Christian rape ever committed.

>Gregor Samsa

No problem. Chuck a couple apples at him.

Macheath
I'm fucked.

test

Charlie from Flowers for Algernon. I hope retard strength is just a myth.

>13 yr old prostitute from the Yucatan, whored out by Jean Genet
pretty based, I’d say

Get Big Mac’d bro

gentle reminder, she'd almost certainly call you 'daddy' and pretend she's raping her father.

>Cincinnatus C.
lmao I think I'll be fine

>rapes me
>shouts to a crow "Help!,that sex-maniac has just rape me!"
>crow proceed to beat the shit out me
>(gesture)
>at the distance she is cackling at me while gulping a cacocalo

I'm ok with this

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>typee
i wouldn't mind being raped by this devilishly handsome young man. he might not even try, considering all of the anal sex he surely had with toby in those caves.

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>Augustus
I'd beat his scrawny sickly little ass if it weren't for the whole might of Rome behind him

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Oh god oh fuck

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Was reading the Myth of Sisyphus so would that make Albert Camus the one trying to assrape me? Could be worse, I could get assraped by kooky eyed Sartre.

>Literally the sun
Uh oh

I laughed out loud

Based

Fairly certain the master would give up and start crying after any sort of real resistance on my part

candide bulgarically drills his dick into my ass. its over.

>A Room of One's Own
I accept it

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nothing wrong with domming your greek twink homeboy

Or the whole crew...

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>King Arthur
He can try!

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>Buddy Glass
I think I'll be fine

>getting assraped by an aww-schucks conservative reactionary politician

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based hop-frogposter

>The Sun Also Rises
>mfw

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>King Solomon
That doesn't sound good but he'd probably realise it's futile at some point

Mother Superior Odrade

jesus christ

i'm reading dubliners so there is no one main character

>Alec Leamas
could prolly beat him

It won't be the first time he's painfully sodomized a man.

Just start screaming "KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK" and laugh hysterically.

>Oh hello sir Klemens Wenzel Nepomuk Lothar, Prince of Metternich-Winneburg zu Beilstein, I didn't realize your dick was in my ass

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I've been reading Ben Shapiro's book. Guess I'll lose my anal virginity.

Some dirty Colombian with 622 long term liaisons under his belt
My ass is an open sewer

Hello, would you know about any almanach, collection of myth, legends, fables etc? From various cultures and their explanation?

A good example though dated is Motif-Index of Folk-Literature, Volume 1: A Classification of Narrative Elements in Folk Tales, Ballads, Myths, Fables, Mediaeval Romances, Exempla, Fabliaux, Jest-Books, and Local Legends

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>Crusoe
If I’m n his island I’m fucked

>the underground man
i'm fucked not because he's trying to rape me but because the whole time he'll be saying "isn't this despicable? aren't i just the worst human on the planet? oh, dear victim, how you must loathe me!"

>reading Fire&Blood

Great, I got all of the Targaryens after my asshole.

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Duke Myshkin. Doesn't sound so bad.

Prince Myshkin from the idiot. I'm not fucked at all.

>GR
>Slothrop I guess
>Get ass raped
>Get bombed the next morning

Dimitri would make you bleed

Who is the protagonist of War & Peace?

>The book of disquiet
He would probably only rape me in his dreams.

>Stalky from Stalky & co.
im ok with this

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Love in the time of cholera?

It's either Buck from The Call of the Wild or Beowulf. Either way I'm fucked

Being Joe Biden, I think I’m fucked

oh god

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Carlos da Maia, from Os Maias.
might let him

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Hey! i just finished that. What a surprisingly good book.

Anywho, Metternich and Castlereagh are both aristocracy and so probably into that shit .

He's 4'11" you'll be fine

>Emancipor Reese from Tales of Bauchelain & Korbal Broach
Good luck getting it up you drunk lout. Alternatively if the other two try it
>Broach was already castrated
>Bauchelain I'd sleep with willingly
I'll be fine.

Paradise lost.

>mfw either God or Satan is going to rape me.

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Ye, I like the parts where girls masturbate and compare their soapy butts

It's Bruno aka Houellebecq from atomised. He'd propably have problems with his erection and would want me to fuck his girlfriend so everythings fine.

>Seasoned new england whaler vs skinnyfat neet

Raskolnikov would repeatedly put on and remove the condom, uncertain as to whether or not he should wear it.

This almost made me come right here and now.

He just follows you around and looks on with melanie holy as all the other boys rape you.

>Alice's adventures in Wonderland
Not sure how to feel about this.

I can tell you if you like

>The Violent Bear It Away
So Francis Marion Tarwater is trying to rape me. On the one hand, he's a scrawny 14 year old. On the other hand, he's a prophet of God. I don't think God would help him in his rape quest, so I'm okay; not fucked at all.

Uh-oh

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I was waiting for this reply.

>Estrella distante
so a broke writer is trying to assrape me? i`ll be fine, we will end drinking café con leche and talking about literature.

but is also senile, you could find a way to cheat him

>BEHOLD, A TALONLESS BIPED!

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>the bible

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Same.

>Emma Bovary trying to peg me
I'm OK with it.

>The Diary of Anne Frank

Damn it, you little bitch. Stay in your attic!

I’m reading the Count of Monte Cristo, so I guess I’m pretty much fucked.

...pun intended

This guy

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It was a historical humor book about the conquistadors
There was no protagonist

>the old man is coming for me

>it's actually the marlin

Jack Torrence. My boipussy is ready for crazy cummies

>Jean Valjean
Oh shit

>Descartes
He's going to give me the dick.

Democracy In America by Tocqueville.

The protagonist of that chapter was an imaginary American that Tocqueville was having a conversation with.

I don’t think even in a Frenchman’s head that an American would try to rape me though, so this situation is impossible for the ethereal American. :3

>Hadji Murat

Well, at least he was handsome. And he'd probably kill me afterward.

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>Patrick Bateman

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>keiko from convenience store woman
hot tbqhmf

>Alexei Fyodorovich Karamazov
Guess I'm pretty safe